If you ask me what I liked about you,
The answer is – I don’t know.

Maybe it’s your eyes.

How it was covered by thick glasses,
Or how the bags have permanently
resided below them.

Maybe because of how they twinkled
When a new song would come up,
Or the way they squint
When you try to act cute.

Maybe because of the loneliness  
Reflected on them when you look at her.
How they followed her direction
With sadness and adoration.

Maybe it’s the way they shed tears
- tears that she does not deserve.
Or how I wanted to wipe them off
And replace them with eye smiles.

Or maybe how I wanted them
To land at my direction.
Yeah, maybe it was your eyes.


Or maybe it’s your nose.

How it’s not pointed and small enough.
How your eye glasses have rested on its bridge,
Or how it wrinkles when you don’t like something.

Maybe It’s the way you smell
The scent of coffees and cigarettes,
Or how they get clogged when you cry
And how mine gets clogged too.
Maybe it was your nose.


Or Maybe it’s your lips.

How thin and dry they are.
How they smirk at stupid things.
Or maybe because of the words
That spill from them.

Maybe it’s the way they tremble
When you struggle to speak bisaya.
Or the way your tagalog accent comes out
When your angry, annoyed or confused.

Maybe it’s the way they move
As you whisper I love you’s
And sana ako nalang to her,
While I whisper those to you.

Maybe how I wanted to taste those lips
On mine and savor its softness.
Or maybe even just for the way they curve
Into smile when you are with her.

Maybe the way you frown
When she’s with somebody else.
Or maybe I wanted to also wipe those out.
Yeah, maybe it was your lips.

Or maybe I simply don’t need a reason at all.

if i cried myself a river
i would build a boat
and sail away

For all of you so eager to call it quits and throw in the towel on your addiction because everything isn’t “perfect”...here is some food for thought: Lifelong commitment is not what most people think it is. It's not waking up every morning to crack a case and slam a breakfast beer. It's not cuddling in bed until you spill your brew, peacefully, at night. It's not a clean home filled with laughter and *******, everyday. It's someone who steals all the Busch Light. It's slammed shots and a few skunked beers at times. It’s stubbornly disagreeing and giving each other the devils nectar until your hearts heal...and then...THE 12 STEPS! It’s coming home to the same brand, everyday, that you know LOVES and CARES about you in spite of (and because of) your crippling addiction. It's laughing about the one time you accidentally ****** yourself in a Denny’s waiting area. It’s about ***** laundry and unmade beds. It's about helping each other with the hard liquor in life! It's about swallowing the nasty *** chata instead of spitting it out. It's about meeting the cheapest and easiest ****** you can find in Lehigh and sitting down together late to drink afterwards because you BOTH had a crazy day. It's when you have a refrigerator breakdown and your cooler lays with you and holds your beer and tells you everything is going to be okay...and you BELIEVE that cooler. It's about still loving alcohol even though, sometimes, it makes you absolutely text exes that are now worthless skin sacks. Living with alcoholism is not perfect
...sometimes it's hard; but it's amazing and comforting and one of the BEST things you'll ever experience!

Kaitlin Jan Minteer

I am making mistakes,
All the time,
One after another.
It seems it has no end,
Endless mistakes.
I want to ***** on a thought of it,
I want to scream and fight, but I am *******.
Forgiveness,
It can set me free.
Not yours,
Not anyone else's,
Mine.
I have to forgive myself,
Let it all go.
I know that it is eating me alive,
The sorrow of my soul,
The begging of my heart for relive.
Relive of letting it all go away,
Relive of forgiveness.
So let's do it.
Let's forgive.
Let's forget.
Let's be free.
If only it could be so easy.