Your just a pothole on a backroad

I wonder who will ever win the war i wage against myself.

Ill take the view of your eyes
over a scenic ocean view any day.

You used to always compliment yourself in the mirror with the biggest smile on your face.
Now you cant even look yourself in the eye
Without an ounce of disgust rolling from you lips.
What happened to you and who broke you?
You were the strongest person i ever meet and you faced each day not having any regrets.
You were the one i looked up to and the one i strived to be.
Now you cant even make it out of bed without suicidal thoughts ringing through your head.
What happened to you and who broke you?
I need that man back.
With out you i am broken and full of regrets and self hate.
I hope you make it through this and you find a way to fix yourself.

Your my slice of heaven in this hell on earth.

Bottled up emotions
Tossed into the ocean
Made its way back ashore.

You Stoke the fire that blazes inside my heart.

Winter blues has came to collect on its dues
Will you be ready or will you be putting on your running shoes.

This is the end of us
Body and soul ripped from two
We all knew i was doomed
From the moment you left this room
All the tears ive cried
Heavy thoughts of suicide
All i feel is empty inside
Body and soul doesnt coincide
The last words i write
i hope this makes you happy inside
Because for me
all i wanna do is feel alive

Is it just a show your putting on for me
Showing me all the things you know id love to see
Telling me all the things id love to hear
With my mind its so hard to tell
I pick away at every possibility
Drowing myself endlessly with it all
Sending my thought straight to negativity
Then starting it all over again a ever repeating cycle
This is insanity

Ive walked this road plenty of times
Ive seen it far in wide
Hollow, quite barren and its open wide
I never thought id be back here
Wallowing in all my fears
Oh the old memories
all those tears ive cried
this road it wont break me
I will not let it raddle or shake me
In return ill let it shape me
Oh for this road it will not break me.

Youre a favorite song that comes on the radio
On a really terrible day.

Im feening like a ****** off just one kiss
I didnt know you could catch feeling like this
Waiting to get my next fix
My drug girl done ran off
How did i end up like this

Loving you
Is like trying to
Love myself.
Though i try & try
It aint ever going to happen.

I used to think my drug addiction was the lowest point in my life
Which ended up sending  me into an
Amphetamine induced psychosis and putting me into the hospital.
Ive come to realize my lowest point was loving you and the hell i let you put me through and thinking i could help fix you.

Driven by my desires
Fire and brimstone
Hell is where im going
So glad because i miss home.

Lost somewhere between here and there
Will i ever really make it there
Honestly really dont care

Ill try and be sincere with the conversation we are having here
But producing it genuinely might leave you
crying from here

No matter what free will choice you make
it always put you on the road you were meant to take

Only time will tell
There no spells for this
Crippled with the thoughts of you
Forced feed your point of view
Bleeding out and i call for help
Death reached out his hand
Told me hes got big plans
To **** your name and to clean up all youve slain
To bring an end to all the misery and the pain
cause by you while on your reign
I took his hand here we stand
Hand in hand
To end the the man you drove insane
You made him blow out his brains
Only leaving his memory left in blood stains
Spread across his room.

Just another chapter in her book
Hopefully it wasnt all to horrible
Ive left a impression that  
For her to look back on and not regret.

Joy is disease
Thats shined light on me
Spreading throughout my body
id wish id just let me be
Left me to wallow in my self pity

Karma bows to no man or woman
Her actions may be quick & swift
slow & painful
Dealers choice

My heart you mended
Couldnt be more splendid
A whole new look on life
From your perspective
Got me out of my blues
And on to something new
For you im thankful
For you im grateful.

For you to truly open up the door and welcome yourself in has to be the greatest achievement and this is where your story begans.

You will never enjoy life if you dont come of cruise control.

She broke me down piece by piece
Untill their was nothing left underneath
Jokes on her ive been here before
Still has my exit markings on the door
I have a manual stashed someplace
Itll take me a while to clean up this place.

Your gone like yesterday & your memories they haunt me
Like the blood stains on the carpet
From where you shot me
I've been half a live for a year
Not a day goes by that I dont shed a tear
I'm filled with regrets on how wreckless I was
I let you slip threw the cracks just as fast as yesterday comes.

I wish I had a voice to angry a population
To bring together a divided nation
But here I am just a slave to the corrupt system
Stand together to fight an injustice regime
Over throw the government and instill
Civil beliefs
Were tired of the fear you try and deploy
Turning this country into communism
Stripping us of basic human rights
Give us our liberty or prepare for a fight
There our millions if not a billions who wont go down with out a fight.

I crave the escape from the reality my head creates.

A little bit of trickery will help you in the lands of misery

Oh you fingers look so nice
But they'd looked better in my vice
Cracking every bone picked apart
To make my very own thrown.

Riding a paved rainbow
To a *** of misery
That life has promised me.

All this emotion crashing down like waves
I feel all warm like a nice summers day
I cant keep lying to myself on my feeling for you
Every time im with you they burn bright blue
I dont understand why you just dont leave him
Then again you just like the attention that im given and im always caving in.

My heart
Its currently pending

You are my lighthouse in this stormy sea of darkness.

Ive watched you from the other side for quite some time.
Whispering words of encouragement trying to make you happy inside.
I see the pain youve delt with and how you two coincid.
This is not the answer for you to feel happy inside.
I beg of you to put down the gun and try to find the light inside.

For the mear moments of flight
youre above everyone
nobody can tell you different.

this road i travel
I've been down many times
Which i think its always fate
who brings me back
time after time
in fact its me and myself destructive behavior
though i have to admit this feeling i savor
the pain and the depression
it really works in my favor
i've made to the end of my road
which i may have cheated along the way
but life isn't fair so why should i have to be
this road i travel just isn't a journey
its a self mission to make me the person
i'm always dying to be.