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April showers
It’s time to start thinking
About nature to begin peaking
It rains frequently off and on
Then spring will soon dawn
Bringing vividly colored blossoms
That they will be most awesome
Our town has shut down
It’s much like a ghost town

All the businesses are closed
No one wants to be exposed

To painful temperatures way below zero
Our weatherman called it temps of subzero

The streets are empty of cars as we have come to know
But filled quite thick and wide with sheets of ice and snow

The storm has knocked out the power to so many
Everyone stay inside and play games with Aunt Jenny

Power lines are weighted down with the ice
The lights keep flickering, and this isn't nice

My house is creaking and moaning from this cold
But the heat inside is on high and, up I'm holed

Glad to be where it’s nice and warm as toast
For supper I plan potatoes, carrots and a Roast

Copyright 2014
All Rights Reserved
It’s a time for giving thanks
Not just time to stuff your tanks

Many won’t have the traditional
Of having a meal that is nutritional

Some won’t have the Turkey and all the trimmings
Most will have those meals lest brimming

Even if they are finding meals to be less fulfilling
They will just be grateful to have enough food to be enjoying

Others might not have a bite, and will be forgotten
This holiday season, to see that others aren't downtrodden

With those who are happy to just have what they need
while others are lavished with greed.  

Copyright 2013
All Rights Reserved
I cried because you rejected me
and lied because I was afraid of you
I hit myself to get attention and scratched myself to release pain
I cut myself  because there was no where to turn
You told me I was bad and called me names
you convinced others I was no good, and kept me from my only sibling
You never hugged,you never kissed, You never said you loved me
I ran away because I was miserable, you were drunk all the time.
Fell into the wrong crowd,  because I was hungry for attention.
I learned everything the hard way, you only taught me that I was bad, and I believed I was, for a very long time.
My inner self is numb and slowly dies each day. Today there is still no one to listen, no one to love, and no one to care.
Everyone thinks you were the best parent and feels sorry
for you because of me.
I used to wonder why I was so bad, now I know that I'm not to blame, but I am the one having to live with the damage a mother caused her child.

Copyright 2018
All rights reserved
still working on
So pretty to see everything in white

Making all things look very bright

Everything was covered for as far as I could see

Nothing but eerie silence for a while I felt free

Everyone venturing out should wear their snowshoes

Their cars stranded on the road look like icy igloos

The weighted down evergreens have a glow

For they are beautifully blanketed with snow

Schools, roads and businesses are shut down

And no one is allowed out about in the town

Should get out and have some winter wonderland fun

Build a snow man and go sledding some

Make a snow fort or  snow angels and snow-cream

Better hurry up before it's plowed, for now, it’s not a dream

Copyright 2013

All Rights Reserved
I have always wished that someone would say
Please let me help,  I will take your pain away

For many years I've been in mental anguish
Mother's insults made me want to vanish

I live in a prison that is in my mind  
This I know because, I'm deeply entwined

You've carried a heavy burden, for so many years
Being a single parent of an ill child can bring many tears

In my late fifty's things have never changed
Because of my mother, my family is estranged

copyright 2019
all rights reserved
Fall is quickly approaching

Right before our eyes

The beauty of the changing leaves

Next to some that haven't begun

Reflections of the vivid colors on the pond

Is forever etched in our minds

Copyright 2013

All Rights Reserved
Another year of Christmas to spend alone
It's supposed to be the happiest time of the year
But my only memories of Christmas past are sorrowful
Mother was never happy, and would rather drink
She'd sit and pout and make me feel guilty.
Just another Christmas that I ruined she'd say
I believed it was my fault, and wondered why I was like this
Trying to make things nice for my child, and hide the tears
Nothing is as bad as repeating the mistakes my mother made
But I keep thinking of the hell that I lived through every year


Copyright 2018
all rights reserved
still working on
I love all the preparation

For December celebration

The office and school parties

Gifts for those you can’t deny

Sending cards and buying wrapping paper

It’s all just to prevent jealousy and anger

Now to the family you'll agree it’s time

To pick up that tree and make it chime

With lights shining on branches and colorful wrapped packages under the tree

Don’t forget the Nativity scene and color wheel don’t you feel a bit of glee?

Great care is taken to wrap presents and decorate

All for the day when the relatives and family aggravate

Soon another year will be out of the way

And then the Christmas bills come to stay

Copyright 2013

All rights Reserved
Christmas is upon me, it's just another year
that I  am reminded of the past, and I sit in tears

Everything was supposed to be about, fun, parties and shopping
While my mother sat pouting in her chair, yelling and drinking

If I wasn't so bad, she'd say, we could go visiting others
But I was the one who always had to deal with my mother

You didn't act as I expected you to when you opened your gift
She'd run off to her room, pretending to cry because she was miffed

I'd then take each gift and go to her room and unwrap them slowly
& tell her how much I liked it, and she always made me feel lowly.

She said "You ruined another Christmas, when it was for you nice
The way you are, some day you will pay for your deeds the price


Copyright 2018
all rights reserved
working on still
Dark and Stormy
Sitting on my grandparent's porch in a swing, I see the pretty blue sky and the puffy clouds are mixing with gray, making it slate blue, and I begin to see the trees slowly sway
I hear the pounding of thunder, sounds like it's echoing through a steel tube and then I see a streak of blue lightening flash across the sky.
The rain starts coming down in buckets and hits the Tin roof making it sound like marbles are being tossed all about, and overflowing the gut are making deep puddles in the mud.
A place to go for eight to ten hours
Once in a while a dream creeps in
Enjoy the time of the short lived
Adventure and pretend you are
There and have a good time
Wishing you could go back
Or that there was really a place
A dream could be bad
You seem to be stuck
Trying to run and scream
But no avail then you’re
Paralyzed and try to awake
Just then the alarm goes off
And now you know you’re safe

Copyright 2013
All Rights Reserved
Music of long ago reminds me of old boyfriends.
Taking me back to the exact time of my life
Memories I treasure, and have little regret
of things I did, people I hung around with
and places I went.
Still wanting to feel young and relive those times
Heading into my sixties, it can only be a dream
Now all I have to look back on is the memories
and the smells of yesteryears past.
work in progress
Remembering the days of old, when father raked the leaves of

Golden, yellow, brown and orange

Jumping into the huge crisp pile, I tossed them all about

As my father raked them on top of me

I would creep out from under the pile laughing.

With leaves hanging on my hair and clothing

What a wonderful season. What a wonderful reason

Just to play in the leaves.

Copyright 2013
All Rights Reserved
Fog
Fog
Something eerie about the fog

hovering over a town for a spell

Fog has its own personality

causing your eyes to play tricks

and reveals scary creatures

within its misty cloudy walls

of wispy white and gray streaks

haunting those who walk alone

on a cold lonely dim- lit street.

Copyright 2013

All Rights Reserved
Time is still
a frigid air "ice age"
the world has frozen
In its own tracks
Icy dense fog that
Clogs the atmosphere
From the highest mountain top
To the depths of an ocean
For a time
Everything is
Still
Everything is
quiet
And everything is
dead

copyright 2013
all rights reserved
On my grandparents farm I recall
laying in the grass on the quilt that grandma made
looking up through the breezy tree's to the blue skies and bright sun
Summer half over, getting close to harvest time
The grandparents are walking through their fields of vegetables to be harvested
Uncle sitting on the tractor under a shady tree sipping at some tea
My aunt  sitting on the porch swing drinking some pop, resting after cleaning out the Smokehouse.
Gathering and cleaning ball and mason jars for harvest
It's been a busy summer of growing the fall harvest.
The cows standing outside the fence looking at me as if I'm going to entertain them.
We are preparing for family to arrive to construct the bountiful harvest for the following spring.
I see one car turn in, then another and another, then a line of five cars turn, and drive up the long lane.
a work in progress
Soaked trees from the rain

and fallen leaves, that cover paths

lined with glowing pumpkins

Houses with dimly lit porch lights

and Halloween decorations

welcome youngsters of all ages

Children running amok

dressed as their favorite character

and yelling 'Trick or Treat"!

  Hoping for a good haul of candy

As they run up to each door.

Copyright 2013
All Rights Reserved
I'm scarred from the inside out, with bruises that have no color
hidden tears from years of pain,
a lump in my throat  the size of Mt. Everest
No one knows my pain, no one cares
Each day in my head I hear my abusers voice telling
me I'm no good and calling me names.
This life I did not choose, I was born to my abuser
It's all I know, It's all I hear, I know no different.
These days will never end, and the pain will  never go away.
I must pretend that everything is okay, because that's how others want me to be.

Copyright 2018
All rights reserved
in progress
Christmas isn't always joyful for everyone
Many are homeless, ill and in need of care
Ignored by those who are always happy
No one wants to be burdened with sorrow
It's better to visit with those who make you happy
Because problems are that persons fault
So it's best not to get involved
They could have a mental illness
Staying in your cozy life
Don't step out of the circle
Is a way to pretend that all things are good
While the rest of the world needs attention

Copyright 2018
all rights reserved
JFK
JFK
The assassination of President John F. Kennedy
To many this has always been an unsolved Mystery

JFK was shot in Dallas, Texas on the 22 of November
We are still mourning him, and will always remember

Abraham Zapruder had no idea what he'd be filming
Would be under scrutiny by the public for viewing

Some said the shots came from the grassy knoll
Where they came from no one will ever know

Jackie Kennedy in terrible shock, crawled out onto the limousine
She could not recall doing this, when the Secret Service Intervened

Walter Cronkite reported this shocking news to us in tears
And in all his years of work, he will forever be revered

Jackie in her blood stained suit stood beside Lyndon B. Johnson
When he took the oath of office to be next president of our nation

Oswald told the world that he was a patsy
Jack Ruby shooting him on TV was ghastly

Life Magazine chronicled the events
Filling each page with all JFK contents

To this day there still are reenactments and movies
And everyone like me still feels this is newsworthy

Copyright 2013
All Rights Reserved
Memories of good times
A thought of long ago
Music reminds you of
A time that has passed
Scents that spark a recollection
Of something happy years past
Longing to relive those good
Times of yesteryear

Copyright 2013
All rights Reserved
I had a very close friend that once disappeared
She'd gone missing a long time, for many years

Fled one night to another state far away
And hid incognito somehow to stay

She left suddenly with her tow-headed daughter and boyfriend
Leading me to wonder of our long and happy friendship end

Informing her parents not ever to reveal  
Not even to her closest friend, I'd appeal

To me or anyone,  for where she had gone
Have to be content without her and be alone

Never knew what made her leave
I knew only that I would grieve

But years later I can only imagine
Looking back on my tearful reaction

That she was fleeing for her life
Wondering whatever was the strife

Something she must have said or done
That would cause her to be on the run

She showed up one day back at her home
Underneath a secret silence of a dome

That she had abandoned, just as she
Would return to talk and visit with me

As she had never left, and I was not to ask
for I would always have that painful task

Of wondering where, when and why
My friend took off and never said good- bye

To this day I will never know
As that was forty years ago

I haven’t seen her since I moved away
Now I'm older, close to home I stay

Never kept in contact with her much after that
Feeling something was lost when we’d chew the fat

Starting my life in a brand new city, state, and town
With a husband, child and years ahead the road down

Why she fled I will never learn
But no longer today will I yearn

Copyright 2015
All rights reserved
True Story poem
An awesome place at which you will want to stop
The Closet is a charming little posh Shoppe

Come meet the staff and all the volunteers
They will gladly help you and are very sincere

They have countless apparel and lovely dress suits
Stunning hats to trendy shoes, purses and boots

There is never a dull moment at the closet
Everyday there are many clothing deposits

Assistants who sort, steam, hang and tag
Life at My Sisters Closet is never a drag

Boundless deals numerous times a year
Continuously makes you want to cheer

Several dozen bridal gowns and vivid color dresses
Your chosen style no doubt will be quite impressive

We’d love for you to come donate, visit or buy
Please come before six, now don't be shy!

Copyright 2015
All Rights Reserved
You're never to old to believe, and never too old to be happy.
It's the little things in life that are mostly free that mean so much.
You don't have to be rich, don't have to live a certain place
and a high income is not necessary.
You just have to believe, believe is hope, hope is promise
that your heart will be happy.
I've never been so happy as to when I can come/stay home.


Copyright 2015
All Rights Reserved
My mother had just put me down for a nap

And was folding clean diapers on her lap

When Cronkite broke in on her show

And announced for everyone to know

That JFK had been shot in Dallas

He didn't want to be callous

Soon Cronkite would announce

The death of Kennedy he pronounced

My parents for many days were  inconsolable

As this tragedy to the world was quite horrible

All this had happened and it was quite fast

News was coming and it was constant and vast

My father’s birthday that day was to be celebrated

But my parents agreed it would have to be belated

The world had just changed and in shock and everyone remained.

No one could speak and it seemed everyone was ashamed.

Of whom really shot our President JFK

On that chilly, frightening, and horrifying day.




Copyright 2013

All Rights Reserved
Walking through the woods at night
Not sure where I’m at
The darkness I’m looking into
Is  overpowering
A faint light from the sky
peaks shyly through the blackness.
But not sufficient for me
To see where I am going
Paralyzed with fear
I don’t know what’s
Hiding in the darkness
Eerie silence all around
I’m gasping for air
Because I can’t breathe
I’m consumed by the fear
of what I don’t know.
That lies ahead

Copyright 2013
All rights reserved
Two boys were playing enjoying their wonderful Spring break
Living in the same neighborhood their friendship could partake

They were close friends and played together quite often
''till one day that they should have taken extreme precaution

They broke into a locked gun cabinet; the gun fell to the floor
A gun discharged hit the boy and he went running out the door.

Ambulance and police Found him in the friend’s back yard
Later dying in a hospital, his friends and family were scarred

He'd collapsed in a panic while running to his home
So now forever as a ghost this boy will always roam

One boy who grew up to be a man, never talked of this story again
He may tell the story to his wife and kids, or perhaps not even then

The death of his friend he carried very many years of guilt
This boy who turned into a man will always carry this to the hilt.

That boy was my friend, that I never got to grieve
For it is everyday that I will continue to bereave

Copyright 2022
All rights reserved
True story, of the tale of two friends of 47 years ago.
Thanksgiving is a time that never will I forget

Hopping in the car for a very long ride to grandma's house

With heavy white frost on the grass, glistening in the sun

Singing songs and counting grain bins to pass the time

Now the frost is melting, we are getting close to the grandparents

Rounding that last bend and then their lane up to the house

Riding up to the house I can see smoke coming from the chimney

To the door and into the house, I see my cousins playing, and smell the Turkey

Grandma's brown and gold tablecloth, covered with her silver

trimmed grey dishes and crystal goblets ready for us to eat.

Have to sit and chat while watching the Macy's parade

Saying our blessings and giving our Thanks as we begin the feast

Copyright 2013
All Rights Reserved
Severe Siberian shivery stinging
Below freezing, bitter, bleak, brisk
Painful, penetrating piercing
Frigid frosty frore
Icy intense inclement

Copyright 2014
All Rights Reserved
I'm alive though all the years of abuse, but I've not been able to truly "LIVE" because my head is full of fog, confused and don't know who I am. Suffering from anxiety and depression. I live in a prison, in my mind.

I look out the window from above and see others conversing with neighbors, thinking why can't I be more outgoing? Why can't I let loose?

These walls I've built around me are like a chain around my neck as a dog has around their neck and can only go so far in any direction.

The harmful words from my narcissistic mother for many years has destroyed who I could have been, what I wanted to be, and where I wanted to go.

Those words don't go away, they never die, and are embedded deep in every fiber of my being. Those words are who I am, what I do and where I go.

Thats my life every day, every second, every minute, every hour.

Copyright 2016
All rights reserved
A decoy friend, baited, lured it's unwitting
The latest victim to prepare for an ambush
Lurking in the shadows, but hiding in plain sight,
Observing from below to organize for apprehension
Anxious to terrorize its prey, with their boon companions
Using my notions of long ago, of unspoken content
Reveals it's  deceiving affirmation, pursuing instruments
Distributed to others to use against me
A sham of being pristine, weeping tears that aren't real
A deceiver of her spoken words,
That her followers always believe
A professional charlatan, a trickster  
Pursuing its prey, while pretending to be a victim
Always having to have total dominance
Living well on administration prosperity
With her trio of  illegitimate offspring of dissimilar fathers




All rights reserved.
Copyright 2019
Today that neighbor at me, still is upset and fuming
Over my reporting her noisy kids at all hours booming

A normal person would have apologized and fixed the situation
Neighbor, was angered and violence she used on this occasion

Threatened me with a baseball bat
And just acted like a spoiled brat

Recently saw her youngest (& oldest a few years back) with a broken arm
I feel her bad temper, & emotional abuse she is causing her kids great harm.

I've seen her make many demands of her oldest child to carry
Things that were too heavy down the stairs, and it was scary

He'd beg and plead for help, and at him she yelled
Struggling and panting, in his eyes the tears weld

Her youngest once begged to be carried down the stairs
Mother demanded she walked and didn't seem to care

I've seen her be mean to her kids many times & leave them alone
But others still see her as innocent and put her high on a throne

I do believe she'd **** me if she had a chance
Then the neighbor could do her happy dance.

She knocked on my door and ran
By then I was figuring out her plan

Tried to cause a wreck with me in the parking lot
But told the manager it was me and all my fault

Manager took herside even though she knew me longer
Proves neighbor is a con artist, lies make her stronger

After her long night on the town, she loudly stomps up the stairs at 3 am
Declares innocence, then cons friends and passes off quite the scam

She fixed the carpet so that when I came in I'd trip
My insane neighbor really needs to get a grip

Remembering many times when she'd leave her young kids alone
Her kid's looking for her out the window, I could never condone

She wants to make sure that I see her or her kids everyday
Must have that attention and intimidate me with her display

Always goes out of her way to make sure I see her
My former stalker neighbor is really a monster.

She is a neighbor that you pay the price to report
I've suffered her wrath and several times in court

Neighbor apologized to the court for my actions
She's gossiping this ******* on me as a distraction

I never said here kids were bad just wanted them to
Be quite so I could sleep and rest  I felt that, I was due

My winning the second time in court she really wasn’t expecting
The stalker had stacks of lies an inch high, would to me be affecting

But she never got to utter a word.
Not one lie on me the judge heard

She thought she had the judge wrapped from the first time in court,
But instead, I got something she desired and all lies are thwarted

Judge gave her a lecture, on her claims against myself
And all her untruths where finally put on a shelf

Told my stalker neighbor, "she never did anything to you", as neighbor sat stifled in her chair
Her lawyer also said he didn't agree, to my being jailed and evicted she wanted to do to me. He’d swear

Neighbor embarrased over the judge giving her a lecture
But what neighbor presented on me was pure conjecture

Now she sends her kids to spy on yours truly,
My former neighbor is just an obese bully

For years I've always wondered what size tent
She fits in best, a 4,  6 or 8 room, with free rent

They come by driving or walking their dog
All in the plan for her kids to be the cog

Just to see if they can catch a glimpse enough to intimidate
While the mother still pretends to be important and great

I keep my mouth shut and my distance.
While she continues her stalking persistence

She tries to taunt me by doing childish stunts, and evil stares,
I just ignore her and go my own way. Walking away as she glares

On her phone, laughing, and pretending to be happy, but I see it as being fake as I know, really happy she's not.
She could never drag me back into court, as the judge knows that she is a liar and has been caught.

In her tiny 2nd fl, 2-br apartment she has five people and a dog
Her mother, she, and 3 children, overcrowded and living in a fog.

When her kids were young she'd put the two girls on bunk bottom  the son on the top, which today since adult, is a problem.

How can you be happy when crammed in like sardiens
When the two youngest are just now arriving in their teens

She talked of having a 4th, saying she just loved kids
When I knew she was having them to stay on the grid

The mother of three has her own master bedroom, that is fixed up very pretty and nice.
While the grandmother sleeps in living room, the daughter, never her own happiness would ever sacrifice.

She has several judgements against her and I know she is really stuck.
This narcissist attention seeking neighbor is just an ignorant schmuck

She is just starving for attention and will do anything to get it.
Loves to take pictures of herself for Fce Bk and will never quit

Stalker has no hobbies, never had a job, volunteered or has a life,
Except for being on her phone always looking very strife

Hoping she will grow up and get on with her existence as she still has children to be raised.
Thinking her negligence will cause her trio of three, to be criminals that will be crazed

This is a person who has taken her friends to court in the past
Trying to get large sums of money and those she lambasts

The only thing she can do is to con others and use her kids
To make you feel sorry for her, just enough to do her bid

I once did because of her three kids, but soon realized
She was just taking advantage and was soon destablized

People feel sorry for her and buy her expensive things
Why she doesn't have to work and her praises she sings

When I first met her and shook her hand
I then felt unneasy and not so grand

I thought I was just imagining things
But knowing her made my life sting

She was the one who told me that her kids all had different fathers
Pretending those men all left her alone and without any answers.

I didn't believe it for a minute but gave her the benefit of the doubt
I really did not care as long as I never have to babysit her fall out

She'd insult things in my apartment calling it "Ghetto"
I knew then that she was prejudice and quite shallow

Neighbor doesn't know how to make friends
Yet she knocked on my door, to me she offends

She said she bought her huge SUV after she quit her job
I really think this deceiving neighbor is a fat lying snob

She feels she's "high class" & respected because of her big auto
But she's nothing more than lies and shaped like an avacado

I worry about the youngest one, as I feel the mother is grooming
To be mothers flunky, in later years of her a crime is looming
Its coming down in sheets, or in buckets.
Like Niagra Falls it doesn't seem to
want to stop.
Splat, Splat Splat when it hits the ground because
it's coming down so quickly and fierce.
Taking a break you can hear the rain slowing
down to a slow pace, and then a trickle.

Here it comes again fast and fierce.
Like there is no end.

Not a sound now, not even the
birds are making a noise.

I am hearing thunder in the distance
but still no rain can I hear.

The rain comes again, only not
so rapid it's a constant shower
only not as heavy as before.
I can still hear the splat splat splat
as the rain hits its target.

It's not done with us yet as
the radar shows a huge
mass over our city.

It's just another rainy, wet,
steamy hot day, the rain has
done little to cool things
off, even in late July.

The rain has unleashed another
heavy downpour, I hear echoes
of thunder in the distance.

Sounds like the roar of a train in the
distance.
If April showers
bring May flowers, what does
July floods bring in August?

The rain is very heavy again I can hear big
drops on the roof and some are hitting the window
with such force.It's not hail, it's just massive rain drops
falling from the sky, leaving puddles in the grass from
the constant falling downpour.

I hear drips hitting the ceiling coming
from the roof, soon it will be coming through
the ceiling, but we will have to see during
the next heavy downpour.

The rain is moving out
the clouds are rolling back
the sun is peaking through
I can hear the birds once again.




Copyright 2016
All rights reserved.
Still working on.
There once was a stubborn horse named Robert
Who wished he could send his owner into orbit

Robert was named after my grandfathers close friend
Stubborn, to take advice or suggestions, he'd never bend

For when he was called, only to my grandmother he’d respond
Because of my grandfather for some reason, he wasn’t too fond

On Roberts back my grandfather would climb
And rode him to the fields, to work till dinner time

Grandfather always wondered if Robert ever caught on
To his nemesis who always pulled a bait and switch con

All rights reserved
Copyright 2022
True poem My grandmother always had to call the Robert the Horse for my grandfather, but my grandfather got on his back and rode to the fields to work.
You made me feel guilty when I liked something
Kept me isolated from my sister, and other family
Told lies on me so society would hate me
Controlled me so that I'd act around others the way you planned
Sent me away to be fixed, because you said I was broken.
Pretended you cared, but that was just an act
Confused, scared and left me feeling insecure
Made me feel unwanted, not important and in your way
You called me names, ignored me and made demands
Drank and blamed it on me, but hid it from others
You were never a good mother because you abused me everyday of my life.
But you were the one who came out smelling like a rose
While I continue to suffer under your lies.

Copyright 2019
All rights reserved
She's such a loser because she hasn't  worked for  many years
Her  PTSD from years of abuse has caused her many tears

The family turned their backs on her  because she was different
She  used to go out with boys and do drugs and she's insignificant

Far from perfect she'll admit, but lack of guidance is how you would describe her
It’s been the same for years; people tell her to get over it and be happy

A bad temper rude and bluntness is all she knows
Never had anyone to teach her or show

She never wanted her life to be this way,
People don’t like her and shy away

She's almost sixty and still a burden to society
Others  she wants to know that this causes her anxiety

No family to visit her,  she keeps to herself and stays inside
In her tiny apartment near the train tracks where she still resides.

Her parents, both narcissistic always like things in their favor
But all the abuse and neglect for years is all they ever gave her
Snowflakes look like powdered sugar to put on your French toast
Gather to make Snow Cream add milk, vanilla and sugar
Under the scope it looks like shaped etched ice crystals
Put colored flavoring on it and make it a Snow Cone
Lay down and make a Snow Angel, build it up and make a snow fort
Too much makes a blizzard for snow days too little makes a dusting

Copyright 2015
All Rights Reserved
From a young age, I always felt stifled
I wasn’t allowed to be me so I was muffled

Mother insisted at my school I be held back in first grade
Principal said no, she insisted and in her hands he played

She said I'd be better off ******* because someone could do something with me then
Because the way I was, I was unable to learn, refused directions again and again

Mother said I came from a loving caring family that I treated terrible
I just don't know how to appreciate, and made others lives unbearable.

Being me was really not acceptable
So I always felt quite skeptical

Everything I did, wanted to do, said or liked
Was considered bad, wrong, sinful and disliked

My having fun was not allowed
For I’d embarrass them in a crowd

I never knew what I was allowed to do
Because of that I never really had a clue

Never knowing what to do, say or how to act
Since all my actions against me were attacked

My mother said one thing to me and did another
I knew she favored others over me so why did I bother?

My entire life has been quite a farce
Attention I wanted from her were sparse

Always pretending to be such an outstanding mother
To impress the friends and family she shouldn’t bother

Mother said I couldn't work because I can’t get along with anybody
Making me dependent on her in every way, she said I was shoddy.

While mother was pretending to me that she really loved me
She was going around bashing me to any family she’d see

I’d complain that other family members treated me bad
She said all you  do is cause trouble and make me mad

If you could just grow up and learn to behave
Then everyone would be nice and about you rave

I trusted my mother when she said I was born bad, told her I  see
She asked the doctor for help but said nothing was wrong with me.

Mother spoke with fork tongue;  sold me out, lied to me constantly
Leaving me to wonder how to survive without her cautiously

I'm afraid to have fun, I'm always afraid someone will be cranky
When I did things I'd pay for it because mom would be very angry

Afraid to be me, don't know how to act, who I am, or what to do.
Today I feel the same and for that reason I will always be blue

At the age of almost 60 I'm finding out things were never my fault
I'd like to take all those bad feelings, and lock them in a vault

Copyright 2017
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The dark clouds are rolling in quickly, wild wind blows fast and fiercely
Many leaves and twigs start twirling around and circling
Feeling like Edgar Allen Poe, In the distance I can hear some echo's
Of many dog's barking in the distance, at this very instance
I hear the blaring whistle of a train and heavy sounds of pouring rain
Sitting on my bed feeling cozy and warm just enjoying the thunderstorm

Copyright 2015
All Rights Reserved
I've struggled for years in not knowing how to act
What to do or how to handle situations that might need great care
Only taught how to spend money and make fun of others
While my aunt was teaching her kids etiquette
My mother was teaching me everything but.
Pretending to care about me around others
At home it was daily insults, drinking and abuse.
I never knew what to do, always being afraid and intimdated by her
Hearing her voice of insults still today, I most of the time don't know
What to do, or which end is up.
She has destroyed me inside and out
The daily unstability that I feel with in myself.
Knowing that still today she would never approve or accept me
I was never good enough and, could never please her no matter what I did.

Unable to fulfill things in life I should have, but never having help
to get to where I need to be or should have been.

My life is full of confusion, wishing many times I was not here.
only holding on for a child,  I hope I've done a better job raising

A few years ago I was forced to move, having to dump all my beautiful furniture to afford the move.
I have had to furnish my home with furniture that had been dumped.

Some how with a glimmer of hope and feeling inside that I'm the luckiest person and I have so much.

I suffer with Agoraphobia and anxiety not knowing what to do next. Sometimes afraid to check the mail or take out the trash.

Hearing again my mothers voice, the disappointment I am to her.

No one has had to do what I've had to do to survive. Well maybe some have, but not in my family. I am the black sheep of the family.
Stuck inside for quite a few days
After the sky hurled down the ice, snow and freezing rain
Leaving bitter-cold temperatures that are quite frightening to hear
All the news reports suggest “staying inside and being safe”
I've decided to spend the days reading some on my collection of books
On presidents such as Lincoln, Truman, and Kennedy.
Sifting through information I've received of  family stories and genealogy
Writing letters to an old home-bound friend in another state named Dot
Sipping hot chocolate and Cinnamon toast by the roaring fireplace

Copyright 2014
All Rights Reserved






































Really I’m sitting by a cold sliding glass door wearing two sets of clothes writing this free-verse poem.
Success is measured in many a way

Because you have lots of money they say

Or because you have an education

From a good college with accreditation

Maybe that you have a great paying job

That just makes your heartthrob

And a beautiful home in a safe neighborhood

That you have wanted since you were in childhood

But others have obstacles tossed at them in their life

Find it much harder to complete because of their strife

So when they have overcome such things as, abuse, poverty, or a disability

When they reach the goal that they are seeking we should all act accordingly

They’ve had to work harder, longer and have had many daily struggles and little comfort

Their stories of success are greater since most don’t have family to count on for support



Copyright 2013

All rights reserved
I miss the days when I’d help my grandmother

Those were the days, I'd always cherish  like no other

Hang the freshly washed clothes out  in the sun to dry on the line

I used to enjoy helping my grandma all the time

They’d gently wave back and forth in the summer breeze for hours

Sitting on the porch swing, looking at the beautiful flowers

And we would return to get them when they were dry.

After, we ate homemade vanilla ice cream and blackberry pie

The clothes always smelled like a fresh spring morning

So nothing ever about this task was ever boring

We’d notice as we folded and put them away

That it was always quite late in the day

The sun is starting to go down on the horizon
Stars will come out as bright as diamonds

Copyright 2013
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Departure the welcoming light to walk slowly into the darkness

Wedged between night and day, for a split second

The splendor the Sunset Walker can see is captivating

Observing the color of the cloud's and sun's transformation

Seeing reflection transition flashed across the sky

The eyes take pictures of this wonder and describe it

So others can feel that they are walking along beside you.


Copyright 2013
All Rights Reserved
What I love most about Thanksgiving
I can look back and remember
The many years’ of great times
Our family had sitting around
The old folks beautiful oblong  maple table
After we’d stuffed ourselves full of grandma’s
delicious cooking, when my Grandparents &
great grandparents were still alive to tell the
wonderful stories of their long past youth
Those are memories I have always cherished the most

Copyright 2013
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Wondering through life blindly
Looking for resolutions, that will certainly never come
With no real direction, assurance or assistance
Roaming aimlessly about through life
Drifting here and there and to and fro
Walking down dark hallways with no exits
Stuck in a maze of divided paths and many dead ends
Wanting to stay on the straight and narrow path
That many have followed with much success
I find myself taking paths with no real meaning
Those that always end up at a brick wall or
Closed doors that might not ever open
Never finding a meaning to my life or place in society
Being neither happy, nor sad just feeling a bit drab

Copyright 2013
All Rights Reserved
Won boxing matches with Lewis , Lasky, Corn Griffin, Swiderski,
Then many more titles with Griffiths, Farr, Stillman, and Levandowski,

Jackson, Caggiano, Darnell and Dobson
Something he could tell his grandson

His greatest match of all was the title he earned against Max Baer
The fight was the ultimate win at Gardens of Madison Square

A very passionate man for his wife and children he went to great lengths
To keep his family together during the depression, even in times of brink

Served honorably in WWII as a 1st Lieutenant
Owned a surplus supplier of marine equipment

Helped to construct the bridge Verrazano
It was the proud city’s beautiful Picasso

Gone is Jim Braddock, a movie about him, CINDERELLA MAN to be sure he’s not forgotten
His Granddaughter Rosemarie Dewitt  played his neighbor Sara Wilson, who was downtrodden

Copyright 2014
All Rights Reserved
Biopoem
Tangled Emotions-The Covid-19 Effect

I feel like we (I) are living in suspended animation, stop action, or caught in a time warp, on pause, on hold, virtual reality, surreal, dazed, stuck, and drugged, in a fog, between two worlds. This doesn’t feel real to me. When will I wake up?

All these emotions are running amok in me. I feel I’m being pulled in many directions, what am I supposed to do, think or feel? How am I supposed to act? What is expected of me? Who am I? Where do I go from here? What’s next?

I can’t think, I can’t feel, I can’t breathe, I’m numb to the very core, I’m expecting something bad to happen, something that may or may not ever come. I feel like in my head that I’m a prisoner that can never get out. I want to cry but I can’t, I want to scream but I can’t, I want to hide but I can't, I want to run, but I can’t. I’m waiting for death, I’m waiting for life.

I’m in the middle of nowhere, floating in space, I’m in the middle of the field and as far as I can see there are trees and grass, but no people or animals, and no other life. I’m running in circles, and I can’t stop, my head is spinning like a top. Waiting for uncertainty to stop I am alone.

This is building inside me like a volcano, and the New Madrid fault lines are rumbling, this is a Tsunami ready to flow but there is nowhere for any of this “fallout” to go, Trying to make the best out of a merciless situation.

Copyright 2020
all rights reserved
a work in progress
My Enemy lies within me
I've learned to hate myself
for who I am, and who I am not
dreams that were never born and others, shot down by my mother.
never being good enough, something about me was very bad.
others were better, smarter and deserved happiness when I did not.
dependent on her as she encouraged,  lied to others of my demands
Mothers words are poison, toxic, filled and spewing destruction
Though she's gone, those words are still heard inside my head at everything I do.
haunted by her choice of words, using them on myself daily hearing her anger inside my head

copyright Jan 23, 2019
all rights reserved
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