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Kyra Nov 2018
It’s so much easier to say                      

                        I’m broken beyond repair

                                 Than to admit I’m able to                    

                                         glue myself back together

Kyra Nov 2018
I didn't even realize what day it was yesterday.
The 7th of November didn't even ring a bell.
My mom didn't remember either.
My dad didn't call me.

It had been exactly 4 years as of yesterday.
4 years since I cried on the cold tile.
4 years since I dragged my body up,
and grabbed hold of twin pill bottles to steady myself.

I was alone, like always.
My mom left even as I was crying in front of her,
To watch my brother's football game.
I was alone.

I wrote the letter, I threw away bad memories.
Then I stood in my mothers bathroom
And poured those white pills out into my hand
And down my throat.

I stared myself in the eyes as I did it.
If you're going to **** someone,
Look them in them eyes as you do it.
No hiding.
Kyra Feb 2019
there are these moments
when I realize something
so horribly sad about myself.
Kyra Sep 2019
hell is the static
hell is the dizziness
hell is the tightness in my throat

all i remember from faith is the begging
Kyra Nov 2018
sweet, old friend,

        i worry i can’t save you

what are you trying to destroy?

Kyra Apr 2019
a bed of sunlight beckons me
you wait there wanting,
an unknown lover craving
everything I cannot give,
Kyra May 2019
rain rain
wash away
all the hate I said today
Kyra Oct 2019
Sentence after sentence pours into my windstorm
A broken song, littered limbs of poems

I wonder when I’ll finally sleep
Without words floating over my head
A sword’s edge I crave
         Reaching out to slice my palms on
Some sweetness drips from the pain
        A watered down truth
        Veritas in my lips
Kyra Nov 2018
it’s back

i thought getting away from them

        would soothe my splintered soul

but that implanted hatred

        wrecks my mind

i disgust myself
Kyra Apr 2019
in the dead of night
your voice whispers in my ear.

They pretend it never happened
But we both know the truth.

You ripped my soul from me
you stole away my youth.
I hope you're somewhere listening
I hope these words avenge me.
Kyra Nov 2018
She abandoned me,

     The white plastic I inhaled

     Scared her away.

Her absence left me

Full of emptiness.

A pining paradox.

          Perhaps it’s time

         To stop taking those pills

Kyra Mar 2019
Grip the cord
Pull it taut
Wave at the passerby

They're all looking at you
Pull it taut

Don't forget to **** in
Breathing doesn't matter
Pull it taut
Kyra Oct 2018
i hate what it’s done to my family

i hate the heat it brings to my stomach

but it makes pretending like i can’t feel

           so much easier

Kyra Nov 2018
the ringing in my ears

tells me there’s someone out there

calling my name.

i just can’t see them,

or at least

not yet.

Kyra Nov 2018
There’s something about flowers

That makes me smile

And my heart ache

Kyra Oct 2018
She’s the type of *****

That’ll break someone down

Just to see what they become

In the depths of desperation.

Kyra Nov 2018
Why do I always look down when I walk?

Afraid of looking ahead

Always wanting to turn back

There’s that urge again

to turn around

I’m looking down.

Kyra Jul 2019
some days it feels as if
the world is molasses around me
Kyra Apr 2019
Roses are red,                                    
                        ­    violets are blue,  
        no one saved me                                              
                                  no one saves you.
Kyra Apr 2019
She strode into hell
and dug her bleeding fingers
into its ash covered soil.
Kyra Apr 2019
destroyer of myself.
My blood has become purgatory,
my lips a voiceless cry.
Is this hell?
Kyra Jun 2019
we are not shaped like apples or pears
we are not rotten or ripe
we are not fruits to be eaten
forbidden or otherwise

we are not yours
Kyra Sep 2019
would you send me butterflies tonight?
because i miss the doves.

there are days i forget your smile
i forget the way you said my name

i wish i hadn't cried the last time i saw you
Kyra Apr 2019
She keeps staring at me
the girl with blue eyes
she keeps asking me
which one of us will die.
Kyra Oct 2018
When did "I love you" become a threat

And "You're a *****" a love song?

Kyra Nov 2018
.As I took that sleeping pill

And laid my head down to rest

Allowing my eyes to drift close

I saw darkness and couldn’t help but think

That it was eating at my mind.

The darkness seemed familiar

The color of black alarming and comforting

And that’s when I realized

It’s the same black of my ink pen

It’s the same black of the screens font

It’s the same black.

Then I thought

Perhaps I’ve been the one

Creating my own darkness

Letting it eat away at my mind

Nurturing it’s growth with my poems.

Kyra Dec 2018
I always tried to be tough
Because you told me to.
will I never be enough?

The world is harsh and cruel
That's what you taught me.
the fear became instinctual

You said it's not okay to cry
You said I had to learn.
so why did you blame me when I wanted to die?
Kyra Jun 2019
even the sun misses you
Kyra Oct 2018
She was like chaos

a beautiful chaos

that danced in raging fire

   that sang in lightning’s wrath

      that embraced the looming night.

Kyra May 2019
It's hard
having to explain
at your family's dinner table
why "that's gay" jokes
hurt your feelings.

It's even harder
when your brother says
he doesn't care,
and your mother shushes you
because your grandma's there.
Kyra Oct 2018
family should not shame a young girl about her body


family should never shame a child about their body


no one should shame anyone about their body

i ******* disgust myself,

is it because i disgusted you all?

Kyra Jul 2019
when did i first fall in love with you?

was it under the never ending skies in chicago?
in those cruel winter nights
where only you kept me warm.
or was it amidst the song of crickets and breeze?
in the summers of virginia
where even you would sing along.
Kyra May 2019
I want to burn beautiful words into my skin
poison my bloodstream with soliloquies
carve chapters into my bones
Kyra Nov 2018
“My dad was a mean drunk.” She whispered, eye set dead on the night sky. “I love him,” she paused, “but he was a mean drunk.”

From the side, he could only glimpse the torment in her eyes as she fought the demons on her mind.

Kyra Nov 2018
Energy seemed to crackle around her, constantly, like lightning wanted to escape her beautifully terrible grip.

Kyra Mar 2019
When you look at me
my voice runs away
stealing my breath
Kyra Oct 2018
This pen is the x-acto knife

I use to cut out

every scar on my body

every blemish on my soul

every burn on my mind

Perhaps I won’t feel it after I’ve cut it out.

Kyra Feb 2019
The Nor'easter in my mind won't settle
The inside of my scalp is wind-burned
Every step is won in a never ending battle
Every breath stolen like a meter of ground

I bury myself a trench
trying to escape the clutches of Zephyrus
All four gods circle around me in a typhoon of noise
Eos's sons, vultures in my head
Kyra Nov 2018
what is this scene in my head

the lines are lost to those it fed

Kyra Jan 2019
Perhaps they were right
about cameras
They really do steal our souls
and place them
in pretty little squares.

Maybe that's why
we're all
soulless now.
Kyra Oct 2018
we are all children of the ocean

she was born from the morning mist

he was from the clear caribbean

i was born from the storming sea

Kyra Nov 2018
I think the ocean was the true lurer to death

And sirens were just the women who followed the oceans song

And embraced Poseidon’s crushing love

Kyra Oct 2018
The books have lied.

They have stolen my heart

But left my body.

The books have lied.

They ripped my soul out

And left me to rot.

The books have lied.

Kyra Nov 2018
I’ve stopped running.

I don’t know if that means I’ve found a reason to stay,

           or that I’ve just given up.

Kyra Jun 2019
there's an invisible rope around my throat,
a cord of coarse thread,
and if it were to ever leave me
i think i'd lose my head.
Kyra Dec 2018
I started writing poetry when I was 14 years old
I didn’t know how to tell my mom I wanted to die

So I wrote it down with colorful words
That I ripped from my veins
And let gush out on to a water stained page.

As I walk in this empty house
I am reminded that I am that same little girl
And the wind that howls outside
Is reminiscent of the devil growling in my mouth.
Kyra Dec 2018
As I watch with bated breath
My absent reflection is more apparent
As the moon shifts and shimmers on the glimmering surface
I search for the soul I lost
In the cold dark sea
That seems to **** out the marrow of my bones
Where is it
Kyra Apr 2019
They knew I'd never forgive
So I was forced to forget
Kyra Jan 2019
When did it start, I wonder.
When did the black form in my stomach, in my soul?
Was I born with hatred in my bones?

Why am I the one unable to sheathe the darkness? They all grip the cool metal, but the knife’s edge was sharper for me.

I slip and fall and cut myself on the pleasurable blade of self-disgust over and over, unable to catch myself I grasp blindly into the darkness, reaching for the familiar shapes I’ve always known.
But they all are finding their own balance, ignorant of how I lost mine.

I hate yellow.
Kyra Oct 2018
I want to be washed away

I want waves to break into me relentlessly

   until nothing remains.

I want to be washed away

I need my existence to vanish

    to be crushed into dust.

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