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Sep 7 · 187
Bad note
PM Sep 7
Some days we wake up on a bad note.
We don't know why, it just happens.
When even the littlest thing can set you off.
For this, all I need is some space to breathe.
To just be alone, away from the world
From the noise of society that drowns me.
Who with their grasp hold me tight as we sink.
Nov 2020 · 206
PM Nov 2020
As the rain starts to pour,
I feel as if I drift away in it.
Drifting to escape my trap.
One I have created all these years
and now it seems I can't escape it.
So now I let my self drift away
hoping to escape my creation.
Oct 2020 · 818
PM Oct 2020
I want to be able to forget
to forget your eyes,
to forget your smile,
to forget your lips,
to forget your laugh,
to forget your touch,
I just want to forget you.
Oct 2020 · 389
PM Oct 2020
What if you could forget,
forget all the bad days.    
All those bad decisions.          
All the things you wish
you could be able to erase,
would you be able to do it?                    
Would you be willing                        
to erase what made you stronger.                            
What made you a fighter.                                
What are you willing to lose
in order to forget those moments.
Oct 2020 · 589
My cliche
PM Oct 2020
some thoughts...
What I want is might be cliche but **** it, it's what I want not what you want. Laugh if you want cause I won't care, I'm a hopeless romantic in a word that is constantly trying to break down those who dare to hope. I want passion, I want an electrifying touch, a passionate kiss, a comforting hug, and warm cuddles next to someone on bad days. I want what I have been promised, not really promised by someone in particular but it is what I know I deserve. I know I have my flaws, we all do. But the thing is I work every day to fix those flaws I have.
Are you?
Oct 2020 · 121
PM Oct 2020
funny how
inspiration can
come from anywhere and
at any time. How when you least
expected you can be inspired in a way that
changes your day and even your life. How even
in your darkest moments, you can find the light and
get out of the darkness that has surrounded you.
To a place where the world has endless
possibilities just waiting, all within
reaching distance. All we have
to do is find that light and
reach for
Oct 2020 · 205
Losing grasp
PM Oct 2020
I'm losing my last grasp
on what we come to know
as a reality for so many years
and with that, I let go and fall,
fall to all the unknown, a void
to a road not paved, a future
full of unknown and I can't
help but smile at the ideas
of endless possibilities.
Oct 2020 · 186
Moving away
PM Oct 2020
For the first time in 22 years
I get to move on my own terms.
I get to finally make a place my own.
Somewhere where I don't feel trapped,
trapped by those walls you build long ago.
In a room where I hid day and night
making it harder for us to connect.
So now I'm finally moving all on my own.
To be able to find a way to find myself.
To find who I am away from all of you
and with this space and time I am creating,
I hope to bring us all back together again.
Building the bridge that should have been built
A bridge that was forgotten and left unstarted.
And now we get to build what we once forgot.
Oct 2020 · 181
Dancing stars
PM Oct 2020
It's was as dark as it could get,
it's night so what do we expect.
When everything seems to stop
and we get to hear the actual world.
A world without the noise we make.
We get to finally hear those creatures
that seem to cover the night with songs.
It's a night so dark with one light source,
a source of pure white light in the sky.
Our moon and its stars surrounding her,
that seem to just dance to those songs.
How peaceful it must be to just lay back
and see those stars dancing to the music.
Oct 2020 · 143
The last drop
PM Oct 2020
Once again you tell me nothing is wrong
but I have known you for too long to see it.
And with that little lie, things start to break.
So once again I try to see what is wrong,
but you are still a closed door in my face
and with everything that is going wrong
I can not take one more thing on my plate.
This being the last drop to overflow my life.
Now I find myself deep in a bottle of wine.
Just trying to drink my problems away
but it won't help since I'm stuck in place.
Unable to move.
Oct 2020 · 209
PM Oct 2020
What do I feel?

I don't feel sad
I don't feel mad
I don't feel angry
I don't feel happy
I don't feel excited
I don't feel anxious
I don't feel overwhelmed

... I just feel empty
Oct 2020 · 489
One way to look
PM Oct 2020
some thoughts...
As I sit here, I'm thinking why. Why try so hard when the world is working against you. When I finally feel like a can breathe and that I have reached the surface of what is the sea of such a cruel world I'm pulled back down by this current. This current of negativity, currents that are trying to pull me deeper and deeper into the unknown. But even knowing that once I reach the surface once again another current will try to pull me down. I fight to reach that surface because I know that what waits for me in the unknown is much scarier and worse than the constant struggle of life. But I cannot help to think what if, what if all this fight is not worth it, what if the unknown is not as bad as we might think, what if we just let go. Would it really be that bad?
Oct 2020 · 137
Out of nowhere
PM Oct 2020
It all started that crazy night.
A penguin costume and free drinks.
You came from nowhere into my life
and with just one dare of a kiss
you crept into my daily thoughts.
And as I grew to know you more,
I knew these feelings were more.
You weren't just a new friend,
you became more than that.
Yet at first, I denied how I felt.
I didn't understand my feeling
or how you got into my heart.
Oct 2020 · 159
My roller coaster
PM Oct 2020
Ups and downs all day long.
Going from smiling to tears,
it's impossible to understand
this roller coaster of emotions.
From happiness out of nowhere.
Where I can jump off the walls
to a complete fall to sadness
where I just seem to break down.
A break down coming from nowhere.

This is my daily roller coaster life,
with dips and turns all day long.
Unable to keep up with myself.
Oct 2020 · 602
PM Oct 2020
I know I have been distant for some time.
Not aware or presents in our lives,
but to be forgotten was unexpected.
I want to go back and change the past.
To be present at the time I needed to be,
to be part of my family once more.
But is it too late now to go back?
Since I have I been gone for so long
I can't seem to find my way back.
Oct 2020 · 346
PM Oct 2020
Am I too broken to fix
or too broken to be loved.
have I been broken for so long?
That I can no longer be fixed,
I need to know if it's true
for I can't take another second
not another moment of this unknown.
Not knowing if I will ever be fixed.
For I long to be fixed and loved,
loved like I was loved before.
But you have left me broken.
Unable to be fixed from the day you left.
Oct 2020 · 203
PM Oct 2020
From smiles and laughs to mounts of ashes.
My life seemed to have burned down slowly
and I didn't even see the flames as they came.
Swallowing and burning everything in its path,
and in its path, you were the one how stood alone.

But during those flames, you knew the end.
You came home like nothing was wrong
but it was that a lie when you came back.
Not because you were better or ready
but because it was time to say goodbye.
But how was I supposed to know the truth?
That the reason for your arrival was to die.
Even though you got sick slow at the beginning
In the end, it was as fast when you passed away.

Leaving me alone to pick up the pieces
but how can I blame you when you fought.
You fought to stay with us with all you had
but it was not enough and your fight was over.
You knew your time had come and you came back.
Back to where we were, our home to where you died.
Oct 2020 · 193
Blissful Ignorance
PM Oct 2020
Just take me back to the good days.
No monster to watch out for,
or problems or worries for miles.
To those days where I used to smile.
O how I wish we could go back,
to those days of blissful ignorance.
Oct 2020 · 484
PM Oct 2020
Just stop and take a second to enjoy it,
enjoy the rainy days for they are the best.
The rain just seems to wash away the day.
Making it all new, a fresh start of sorts.
Taking the bad away with just a swift.
O to sit back and see it all fall away.
With a warm drink and fuzzy socks all day.
To sit and watch it pour is what I want.
Oct 2020 · 298
A whim
PM Oct 2020
I pushed and pushed all day
and to the trip we went,
but I didn't know what came next.
Day by day you got worse
but you kept on going.
Until it was to late.
Changing my world for ever,
flipping it upside down.
I didn't think you would leave.
Yet it wasn't up to you.

Just a whim of a trip
to a magical place.
It took your life away.
Yet I can't blame the place.
The blame falls on time.
At least that's what they say
Yet it feels differently
like the blame falls on me.
All because of my whim
to a trip I wont forget.

— The End —