PM - Hello Poetry

PM Oct 2020

For the first time in 22 years
I get to move on my own terms.
I get to finally make a place my own.
Somewhere where I don't feel trapped,
trapped by those walls you build long ago.
In a room where I hid day and night
making it harder for us to connect.
So now I'm finally moving all on my own.
To be able to find a way to find myself.
To find who I am away from all of you
and with this space and time I am creating,
I hope to bring us all back together again.
Building the bridge that should have been built
A bridge that was forgotten and left unstarted.
And now we get to build what we once forgot.

#moving #bridge #walls #connect

PM Oct 2020

Dancing stars

It's was as dark as it could get,
it's night so what do we expect.
When everything seems to stop
and we get to hear the actual world.
A world without the noise we make.
We get to finally hear those creatures
that seem to cover the night with songs.
It's a night so dark with one light source,
a source of pure white light in the sky.
Our moon and its stars surrounding her,
that seem to just dance to those songs.
How peaceful it must be to just lay back
and see those stars dancing to the music.

#stars #dancing #night #dark

PM Oct 2020

The last drop

Once again you tell me nothing is wrong
but I have known you for too long to see it.
And with that little lie, things start to break.
So once again I try to see what is wrong,
but you are still a closed door in my face
and with everything that is going wrong
I can not take one more thing on my plate.
This being the last drop to overflow my life.
Now I find myself deep in a bottle of wine.
Just trying to drink my problems away
but it won't help since I'm stuck in place.
Unable to move.

#last #drop #fights #closed #doors

PM Oct 2020

Empty

What do I feel?

I don't feel sad
I don't feel mad
I don't feel angry
I don't feel happy
I don't feel excited
I don't feel anxious
I don't feel overwhelmed

... I just feel empty

#feeling #empty

PM Oct 2020

One way to look

some thoughts...

As I sit here, I'm thinking why. Why try so hard when the world is working against you. When I finally feel like a can breathe and that I have reached the surface of what is the sea of such a cruel world I'm pulled back down by this current. This current of negativity, currents that are trying to pull me deeper and deeper into the unknown. But even knowing that once I reach the surface once again another current will try to pull me down. I fight to reach that surface because I know that what waits for me in the unknown is much scarier and worse than the constant struggle of life. But I cannot help to think what if, what if all this fight is not worth it, what if the unknown is not as bad as we might think, what if we just let go. Would it really be that bad?

#sea #current #life #positive #negative

PM Oct 2020

Out of nowhere

It all started that crazy night.
A penguin costume and free drinks.
You came from nowhere into my life
and with just one dare of a kiss
you crept into my daily thoughts.
And as I grew to know you more,
I knew these feelings were more.
You weren't just a new friend,
you became more than that.
Yet at first, I denied how I felt.
I didn't understand my feeling
or how you got into my heart.

#dare #kiss #crept #heart

PM Oct 2020

My roller coaster

Ups and downs all day long.
Going from smiling to tears,
it's impossible to understand
this roller coaster of emotions.
From happiness out of nowhere.
Where I can jump off the walls
to a complete fall to sadness
where I just seem to break down.
A break down coming from nowhere.

This is my daily roller coaster life,
with dips and turns all day long.
Unable to keep up with myself.

#rollercoaster #life #turns #dips #emotion