The darkness creeps up behind me.
I turn and look, what is it I see?
I see the faces of the people who used to care.
They just smile at me, they stare.
Meanwhile I am on fire.
The burning continues as the flames grow higher.
Unable to withstand the pain in my heart.
I wish it would end, I want to go back to the start.
The figures of betrayal wrap around my soul.
Til I am shrouded in darkness, with no clear goal.
No way out, because they keep me trapped in.
What did I do wrong? What terrible sin?
My naive self decides to give the betrayers another chance.
Only to be crushed once again by their morbid dance.
Over and over again they pull me deeper into hell.
They've been doing this since the day I fell.
I just want it to end, I want the pain to end.
Maybe they will help if it's a hand i continue to lend.
And so the vicious  cycle goes on and on.
I keep helping them and they eat away at my soul.
*And they will keep going until the day I am gone.

I've slowly came to the realization
Of what makes me so craven
I now know what is killing me
It's not what I thought it would be
It's not the pain, agony, or strife
That is so ******* rife
That's been there all my life
It's not the monsters, demons, or tragedy
No it's not any of the things I thought it would be
No, I thought I was killing time, but I've realized time is killing me

I woke up to feel the pain in my chest.
It was the middle of the night, but I would not rest.
My eyes struggled to find the light.
But all they saw was the cover of the night.
The pain in my chest worsens, and my eyes fill with tears.
I am left in the darkness, with nothing but fear.
My body shakes and I feel all the pain.
I question myself, am I even sane?
But just as I thought I was crazy as could be.
My lips widen, and i start smiling with glee.
The pain has not left, but my mind has welcomed it.
My body has grown accustom to feeling it bit by bit.
A small chuckle escapes my lips, but my eyes are red.
I am crying nonstop and I feel broken... Dead.
The pain in my chest only seems to grow.
Like a stone being throw, to and fro.
My body quivers as I feel my blackened soul.
So dark and hurt, long since turned to coal.
My bloodshot eyes slowly begin to shut.
Sadly when I awake, I will still be in this rut.
All I can do for myself is grieve and grieve.
Because there is a stone in my heart... And it will never leave.

I reach out my hand and grasp at the air.
My eyes well with tears, how can this be fair?
Surrounded by these people, but cursed to feel alone.
Forced to wander my mind, without a place to call home.
The tears, now a steady stream down my cheeks.
I hide my face and I begin to silently weep.
The people who care asking if I am okay.
Then they assume that I am, they resume with their day.
When I try and I try, never leaving them alone.
All I hear when I need help, is the blank dial tone.
I drop to my knees, finally giving up all thought.
I decide this is where I should be, left to rot.
I wish I could show myself, they really want to help.
But i can't seem to let them, I force myself into hell.
I lie here alone, alone with just my mind.
I wait to be consumed by it, it's just a matter of time.
I close my eyes, hearing the pleas of those I let down.
And I lie in my coffin, as I'm lowered six feet into the ground.

As the tears run down my face.
I wonder, what is this hell, what is this place?
lost somewhere, never to be found.
Soon to be buried six feet under the ground.
No one left rescue me.
This emptiness is all i see.
I open my eyes, but still see no light.
All that is left is pain, and never ending night.
Please, take me from this hell I'm in.
Did i do this to my self, how much did i sin?
What could i do wrong to put me here.
Down with my nightmares, and every single fear.
So if you hear nothing from me, ever again.
I say to you, farewell my friend.

hey you!
yeah you!

i say,

i want to create
a collection
called '******* gems'
because of this poem.  

http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1400754/sick/

i LOVE that phrase!

so i say,
or said to me,

i shall ask your advice.
kind reader,
will that offend?

... i'm thinking it will,
... so i best not.  
what do YOU think kind reader?
should i?
should i not?  

i guess the requirement
to join the club would be
that the piece must contain
at least
one time,
my favorite
******* word.

so i say!
what do
YOU
say?

OH and just thought
it must be nice
or funny
or nice & funny!

oh and
or
romantic...

no icky works
will be accepted.

read the gem
from which
the collection wishes
to spring.

eagerly awaiting your
replies,
your friend,
i hope,
the big fat bus
with the Big Fat Yellow Bootay.

(oooo... should i edit that to read
with my favorite word in between
Fat & Yellow?)

i bid you adieu,
sweet quiet morning to you,
kind reader...

...have adventures ahead
between now
and next time we meet.

that puppyhead needs her a walkin...
and you are seeing what treasures those net
each morning.

someone somewhere must
brush teeth,
scrape tongue

... ah ****,* i best make this a morning piece
and you kin read it thar,
so here it is.

* and NO, that was not written to mean
and poo!
as part of the morning constitutional.
it was an exclamation...
explaining is exhausting...