Depression has me by the neck
its poison numbs my entire body
trapping me in an ever-state of paralysis
I lay motionless as I'm forced to endure
this deep pain swelling inside of me

So many times I've listened to others
and their experiences with this darkness
Not knowing one day it would grow in me as well
Life made this happen
and maybe death is the cure

The more I resist or try to hide it
the more it festers and increases its intensity
So maybe I should just give in
and float in my own pool of sadness
until the dawn rises

I am scared of taking a bath
Because I’m afraid I will slip under
And drown myself

I am scared of driving a car
Because I’m afraid I will veer off the road
And crash at full force

I am scared of cooking with a knife
Because I’m afraid I will lose control
And slice it across my wrist

I am scared of taking pills when I’m sick
Because I’m afraid I will get tempted
And swallow the whole bottle

I am scared of being near a gun
Because I’m afraid I will point it to my head
And fire it through my brain

I am scared of everyday things
And afraid of trusting myself

I am scared of the world
And afraid I can’t take it any longer

I am scared of myself
And afraid of what I will do

I come here and see sad smiles mostly,
I see poets and sad, knowing smiles of poetry...

That white flag has been sitting in that case
Since I been born
And it will still be there
When I die

If memories take time
Then I'm giving them away,
'Cause all I want's the closeness
Of thoughts from yesterday

If you turn your back to a tree
It falls, and you don't see
Is it different when you return to reality?

It remains that the tree is wood
The cores and rings and fibers still good
But I'm sure that doesn't matter
Because it changed the way it stood

I do my best to be unchanging
To coax you when you fell.
For friendship,I'd even let
You chop me down, as well

But you've sunken into shallow soils
Called these termites all your friends
And though it's your integrity rotting,
My memories have spoiled.

So think about that once again
When I've grown tired, and tough
Because height can give you limelight
But it's the roots that give you love

Don't turn to me,
when you want someone to talk to,
because you never knew me,
and I never knew you.

We don't have anything in common now that years have passed,
I've flown in my life, and so have I crashed.

I don't know much about you anymore, so don't come to me,
remember I'm just a stranger,
and forgetting you was all I need.

I'm selfish
I can't bare to see you in the arms of another
I'm selfish
I crave the taste of your tongue
I'm selfish
I need your arms wrapped around me tight
I'm selfish
I hold you back from what you could become
I'm selfish
I won't let this end
I'm sorry
I'm too selfish to let you move on.