I want a love that I’ll be able to tell my grandchildren about…
A thousand chapters long…
Every word as though it were a heartbeat,
Or maybe like the melody in a song.

I want to dance through life,
Hand in hand…
Endless spins, twirls and laughter
Together we will live happily ever after.

I want a man to hold me while holding my soul,
Not only to feel the warmth in my skin, but
The warmth I embody around him.

I want him to feel how fragile,
Tender,
And loving
I can be.
And for every blink
He will not think that he
Can’t trust me.

I want him to look beyond the beauty
He thinks I obtain,
And instead find out every secret
That remains.

I want a man to gently touch my cheeks,
And fill me with all the knowledge he wishes to speak.

No time wasted.
Every second counts.

So most importantly,
I want a love that makes my heart bounce,

Out of my chest and into the ocean.

Now this is important,
This is key...

My love runs deeper than the trenches in the sea.

I want our footprints to remain
Imprinted in the crystals of sand.

Traveling alongside each other,
Who needs a wedding band?

I want a love that doesn't have to prove anything,
Just to love and be loved would mean everything.

You say I'm strong,
But my bones feel brittle.

You say I'm a women,
But I wish I was a child.

You say I'm independent,
And I agree.

You say do this,
But I do that.

You say I'm making a mistake,
But I will prove you wrong.

You say I've changed,
But who are you to judge me?

You say don't cry,
But I do.

You say smile,
But I feel blue.

You say love,
But I say that's for fools.

You say I'm beautiful,
But if this were true...

You'd accept me
For everything that I do.

Cold, dark, and lonely..
I spread my toes out in front of me,
Stretching erratically on
my bedroom floor.
  
Frantically, I grab things,
anything. To keep myself
distracted.
  
Something to bound me away from
my worries,
my fears,
my regrets.
You.
  
Sweat builds, and a
red,
inescapable rash,
consumes my face.
Choking my innocence.
Digesting my happiness.
  
I'm pulling away,
at what I love,
at what I want most in this entire
******* world.
  
And I'm scraping you off
like a scab.
Away you'll go, quick,
and easy to forget.
For now.
  
But you'll remain as a scar,
tearing at my skin,
a surfacing pain inside my mind.
  
I can't forget you.
I won't forget you.
That is why,
you must go.

A streak of sunlight closes in
on the surface of my
lavish, ocean-colored eyes.

They twinkle and gather with
more intensity, the sun
fueling the blues and greens to shine only
brighter than before.

My long, straight hair is
furiously whipped around
my face, as I open the
cars passenger window wider.

And they're you are to my left, smiling and
at peace. I can't help
but think, this is all I need.

I grab your hand,
intertwining our fingers,
electrifying my senses, to be connected
with you is almost as good as....

... your lips, plump and soft,
they fit perfectly with mine,
I hope never to say goodbye to them.

A touch, your touch,
throws me off the edge...
I feel like I am flying,
and you're the one lifting me off the ground,
never would I want to leave this.

A tickle, a giggle, and a laugh later
there is no one in the world
but you and I.
I would trade nothing
for this precious moment.

Smile's are exchanged,
I know I like the taste of yours.
Jump in head first to my world,
don't hold back, let the sun in your eyes,
let it swim through your colors, swim through
your mind and
smile.

Touching the edge of the ocean,
Avon-by-the-sea nestles
it cloak of secrets
pressed on the faces of its residents
that reside in their humble abodes.

After somersaulting through life,
a man by the name of William watches
his grandchildren tumble
through galaxies of vivacious imagination.

They roll around in the painted
grass, flying through the
tainted sky.

If only he could join them.
Words of glossolalia spurt
and spill out of his mouth as he try's
to spit out the endearing words,
"I love you," to his wife
standing beside him.

He turns to her, and her eyes began to
bloat with pellets of liquid despair.

Shamelessly he turns his head
down. She quickly entangles their fingers
together. Like a puzzle piece, they interconnect
perfectly. The silence continues on..
but the love remains.

When you fall out of love,
your soul drowns
into a bath of suffocation.

It wanders, lost in a realm
of pain and heartache, worse
than any imaginable nightmare.

It questions its worth,
in life, in reality...

Some say it's a
temporary wound
that heals with
time and experience.
As the saying goes...
"You have to go through the bad to get
to the good."

... how ambiguous.
How long will I have to wait?
Will there be any good?
How do I know this is true?

It's not.
This is a stab wound.
Although it will heal.
The scar tissue will
always remain,
leaving behind
unforgettable moments
in time that cannot be
changed or
replaced.

I gave those
moments to you.
I gave my heart to you.
I even let myself love you.

You were safe
and you made my soul
feel beautiful.
You made me feel as
though nothing in
the world could take me down...
A ball of confidence I was...

But most importantly...
I felt happy.

Why would you...

want me to feel any other way?
You said you loved me.
And I guess,
the hardest thing
to come to
terms with is...

it meant nothing to you.
It was just a passage of time,
a short distance.
But, I did learn something.

I will never again
fall in love
until I'm ready to fall out of love.

I once knew a girl
who's worries only wandered
through fields of flowers
who's life was a bubble of happiness
that was indestructible
who's hero; her father

You are my father, you sat next to
me in the field and kissed
my cheek, you pushed me on the
wooden swing set
but then you ran away

I once knew a girl
who's worries turned into boys
and she became more concerned...
or more so obsessed with how much she weighed.
You could see her happiness slipping away.

You are my father
I damage myself to impress you.
Don't you see? Do you care?
I am your slave, tell me what to do.
I'll do anything.
Your opinion is the only one that matters.

I know a girl. She's lost. No longer is she
the girl who skipped though
fields of flowers.
No longer is she hopeful.
No longer is she happy.

You are my father.
You left me.
You left my family.
You were my hero.

I used to dream of a love like
yours and moms.

You destroyed me from
the inside out.
You were a man, a husband, a girls hero -

but not any longer.

I am an artist.
I can make myself into something new
every day.
Imagine the possibilities you could
innovate,
Just let me know what you want.
Here, flip through this magazine for some
ideas,
And tell me what you like best!
It’s all about pleasing your audience
anyways,
It doesn't matter what I want,
Nobody cares about that.
They just want to see something pretty.

I sculpt and paint imagery out of tools
To end up with a fake canvas.
Day to day I suppress myself with the lies.
I chip and chisel,
Dissect and carve,
Bits and pieces,
Until I’m left trembling,
Just to be tossed away in the end.

Splashes of red,
And strokes of black ignite your appeal,
And this is what you label as real?
Hunger strikes itself through the bones
Revealing its power through the limbs
Of the body, eye sockets, sinking down,
Down,
Down.
Death could possibly be the resemblance.

What a terrible piece, a shame it is.
Maybe just a few more tweaks,
And it will at least look halfway decent.

Trim down the sides,
Thin out any extras,
Fill in what is needed.
Even just a tad more color,
Then we have something.

Time strolls by,
A year soon passes,
And one day I just happen to actually
stop,
And look at my masterpiece,
But only for a moment.

In the mirror,
A reflection stares back at a wretched,
Ghostly,
Figure.
Beads of liquid build up into my pallid
eyes,
Unable to contain the weight of their
reasons any longer,
Tears begin to burst,
They trickle down my rose stained
cheeks,
Fueled by the absence of perfection,
And I feel nothing.

Needs more work.