There is constant tension around the pool,
Yet the adrenalin is pumping in your veins
We are always ready for something in life - like a dramatic gunshot before a race,
However, a false start will set you back.

We are always eager at the beginning of a project, like diving into the pool, but how long can we keep this up?

The focus is on the finishing line, but there is always a sense of doubt in our minds.
You try not to compare yourself with the swimmer next to you, as your eyes glance in their direction while gasping for air.
Comparisons will be your downfall.

Often, you can see your goal in the distance, but negativity creeps in because there are always massive obstacles to get over.
You are edging forward, but tiring out at the same time in the chlorinated scented water.
Staying positive does not come easy when you are a step behind.

It's Friday morning as the fresh smell of coffee is a welcomed sight.
The warmth of the sun already streaming through the kitchen window.
I'm feeling it's going to be another long summer's day.
How can anyone not like these days - the thought of grey skies, the continuous sound of rain beating down on the roof, while you are cooped up next to the heater just seems depressing.

A thought goes through my mind as I take a swig of water with my medication,
I wonder what life would be like if I was normal - is there such a thing? I would like to think that we are all unique. Maybe you are expected to act and behave in a certain way, and if you don't - well, then you must have some sort of mental disorder.

I wish I were a bird - such a little thing, but what power
A bird is free, reaching for great heights
There is no fear, worry or anxiety in something that sings so sweetly
Why can't I be more like a bird?

Do you know that deep sinking feeling which you get at the pit of your stomach?
It drains all of the life out of you and makes you feel weak.
Muscles and joints don't feel as lively as you drag your feet behind you.
Distracting yourself from the sadness and the pain is almost impossible
The uncomfortable knot will eventually work it's way up to your throat.

Feel the power and the force of nature.
Hear the waves crash and vibrate, churning up seaweed and debris
Taste the salty foam as you take a tumble from your surfboard.
Isn't it magical to soak up all of these senses, breathing in the crisp, comforting scent of the ocean air.

It's 4am and I'm curled outside a train station, waiting for the sun to rise.
The city of Dublin can liven up your live, but the bitter cold is not something to smile about.
Is home life really this bad that I would want to starve myself, walk on cobbled streets all day until my feet are in agony with a feeling of terror.
Sitting on a park bench, I realized God was all I had.
Experiences like this make you realize what it is to have absolutely nothing and when one is tempted by a lifestyle of greed and materialism.

It's 3am and I'm awake for the second time.
Is it fair how some people just cruise through life?
What is this dispirited feeling -am I being punished?
I go to bed tired and I wake up tired, overwhelmed with lethargy.
Life happens in slow motion with a sense of hopelessness -
with Red Bull, ***** and caffeine being my only source of comfort.
How long is this going to last?

Thoughts and ideas begin to speed up
The to do list is processed as I mull over the day's events
You don't need to be high to be in a trance like this
Lost in the zone once again

Pacing rapidly, doors slamming in the background.
I can't find iPod...no - irritation is building up inside of me - it's about to erupt. Where is my iPod??
In a violent flash of outrage, I smash my earphone against the desk.
Dropping down to the chair, and gazing out of the window, I'm suddenly thinking who is this hot-tempered person?

She won again!
This time, I was going to fight back. I was determined to speak my mind.
It was like a tennis match, where I was being served aces and smashes.
It was too much and I knew she was enjoying it.
My mother left the room and I immediately felt a combination of frustration and hopelessness hover over me.
What is the point!
I felt a burning sensation as the tears came closer to the surface, but I managed to hold them back.
Instead I put my ear phones in and zoned out.
Just another day with mom!

Am I being watched?
Are these blue, green and brown eyes aimed at me - why?
How can I get out of this fish bowl of life?
My mind is racing - thoughts and more thoughts, where is the delete button?
Do other people think these thoughts? I bet they don't. There is nowhere to go.
Is this what life is all about? I thought there was more to it than that.