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Kurt LaVacque Jan 2016
I'm not afraid of the way we use to lay
All alone, in the dark
When we used to stay up late

Whispering, kissing, loving
Holding each others hand as we fall blissfully into nothing
Not knowing whether we’d wake up in this bed
Or in another book waiting to be read

We speak softly keeping our touches on the edge of our seams
Creeping ever so softly until we’re too tired to sleep
Your grip is tighter, your breath is heavy,
My heartbeat races, and we’re getting sweaty

When I lay with you I don’t wish to sleep
The touch of your waste, your lips, your taste
Watching the stars collide in the reflections of your glistening green eyes
Holding you is too nice to waste

The way your touch sends shivers down my spine
Like 10,000 hits of ecstasy molecules running through my mind
It trickles out my pours and into yours
Leaving you with the feeling of my glittery warmth

We cuddle, we hold, and we stop
Now Im afraid
Because now sleep is stealing us away
For tonight is almost done
But before we fall blissfully into nothing
I just want you to know a little something….something….

I feel you…
I want you…
I love you….
Nov 2015 · 507
Who are you?
Kurt LaVacque Nov 2015
Don't let the moon cry
She said
As the earth grew another blade of grass
It will be ok
As the trees say
Wish not for things to always be
In order for life to grow
They need room to spread their wings
I cannot tell you how to balance
This transient knowledge
As I myself have been lost in the collage of greatness
Can I ask you a question?
Who are you?
And why must I ask this?
Nov 2015 · 686
Tomorrow is a Different Day
Kurt LaVacque Nov 2015
I'm done being held down by what is believed to be right
I had a vision of the future the pictures your painting for me
Is a complete disillusion
I see people
They’re laughing
They’re smiling
Living life for themselves
And not for the case of surviving
Why is that we wish to hold ourselves back from
Evolving past
The relentless track of our human lack of understanding
The thing is
I don’t think its our choice
If it was
We would be there already
Not money hungry for that new something something
You saw on TV yesterday
Why do we keep playing this game
If we already know that tomorrow is a different day
Nov 2015 · 713
Tight Rope
Kurt LaVacque Nov 2015
I feel unreal
When I peer off into the distance
As most humans only paint pictures they witness
I miss this
I miss the way we used to set our bars higher than the stars
How the warmth of the sun can cool even the ****** and be done
I wish it were that simple
I wish that we could be held responsible for being what we are
Because us
We are not worthy of that responsibility
But we will be
One day
One day we will be able to walk across the seas
As do the birds
And as well as the breeze
One day the sky will clear
Without any noxious gases limiting the visibility of our fears
All we can do is hope
Hope that one day
We will be in charge of own tight rope
Apr 2015 · 1.2k
Sit and Be Still
Kurt LaVacque Apr 2015
By the creek we sit dormant
Filling the empty spaces with sensational ornaments
Like a Christmas tree
We can be turned from plain
To extraordinary
All it takes is for you to sit and be still
So that one day
You can be the ruler of your world as well
Apr 2015 · 1.0k
Until I Find You
Kurt LaVacque Apr 2015
Until I find you
I lay awake
Before I fall asleep

Trying to imagine

What it would be like
What it would feel like
To hold you in my arms

To taste your lips as they quiver for another kiss
Then you would grab my neck with intent
Pulling me closer
Holding me harder
As I run my fingers down the curves of your body


So slowly.....
Just so I can see.....


To get a glimpse of the truth hidden behind your lips

I want to feel your heart beat
Thumping on my chest

I want to hear your voice
Please sing to me
Please stay with me
Please don't leave me


As I fall from this dreamality
And realize it's nothing more than just another moment of insanity

I still hear you
I still feel you

Darling until I find you
Life will be just a preview
Mar 2015 · 630
Being Alone
Kurt LaVacque Mar 2015
Being alone
Is not being lonely
Being lonely
Is not being depressed
And being depressed doesn't mean your alone
If we all focus on the messy details of the disaster we call our lives
What would happiness be?
What would it take to be happy?
There is a reason we only see as well as we do
There is a reason why we only fall asleep when it's time to
We just don't know yet
Well we know
But we don't
Does that make sense?
Yeah, Me either
If I was going to wish for something
Something that would actually help people in the way that we're suppose to be helped
It have something to do with love
And then a lot more love on top of that
Like the Beatles said
All you need is love
That's because love is all you need
Mar 2015 · 785
Letters to Jenny: 4 Minutes
Kurt LaVacque Mar 2015
Jenny, I'm in love
Jenny my love
Jenny, I love
I love Jenny
My love is Jenny
Im in love with Jenny

4 minutes of the most
Moment of my life
Has just occurred
Not in the sense that it just happened
But, I mean
We just happened
In the most random, precise way possible

I left my home for a journey across country
For a new adventure
For a new beginning
Who knew
That the adventure was you
Beginning with the first time we spoke around 2
Who would have known
That the girl I met and fell in love with was you
I didn't
Did you?

I didn't know dreams could come true
Until I looked at you
Into your eyes more specifically
For 4 minutes
We sat
Hearts beating
As we switch to other eye because
One eye isn't enough
When we smile nervously because we are wondering if we are both feeling
The same

From the bottoms of your toes
To the tip of your nose
I love you Jenny
Which way shall we go?
That's what I was thinking
Mar 2015 · 877
We All Crawl As One
Kurt LaVacque Mar 2015
Next to nowhere
She lays
Still bitten with the rage
Of the still torn pages inside
The left look behind
She saw 12
Hundreds in gathering to see a masterpiece
To see a great feast take place
Inside the belly of the beast we embrace
We brace for
10 until later our velvet skin was torn
It was not a book she was reading
Life admits it to be true
Things only seem
as they seem to you
As they are
As we are
8 left
We read from the dead to find the meaning of life
Still hidden from
Foreign to the match tip burns
Rage to the night
Rage to all the ends of the strings tied to the ropes we bleed from
Free fall to the once forgotten song
We sing
We breathe in again
Within minutes of each other
The numbers fall
6 legs on this chair
Holding each one
Carefully in the air
Not the slightest ripple
From even the slow moving and inconvenient
We all crawl as one
A notebook drawn by the sun
With the letters as colors and pages as numbers
We will all learn to see when it's raining
We will learn to be forgiven
For what has happened
4 steps to the partially broken door hinge
Lay Waste to the less fortunate
For I have come without a hood to cover my ears
Up the elevator we climb
To the tip of the mountain we press
This is not a test
2 questions unanswered
We must learn to run before we crawl
the voices say
To follow your heart
From every beat
And from every start
There will be a finish
A tapered trip to an answer well lived to be heard
Hear all what you want to see like
And say all that you wish to breathe like
Kurt LaVacque Mar 2015
I love you beyond a belief that cannot
Compare to
The sudden urge
To fall in love to
This silent dance we
Sing along
For just a few minutes id like to say I love you
I found you
Can I keep you?
Can you still be there
In the morning
The day after
The night before
And forever happily
I like you too
I mean
I'd love to run away with you
Mar 2015 · 593
Kurt LaVacque Mar 2015
Simple yet a affective
We dream of the day without needing disinfectant
It's not that we are *****
It's that we are
And never will be clean
We will never be 100%
No germ
No *******
It's written in pen
But you accidentally smudged it with your freshly cleaned linen
We live in a world where everything is a mess
But optimistically call it's it
"A little spill"
Or "a few crumbs"
You never hear anyone talk about how ****** the world is
Like they're going to get something done
Not any sort of panic
No fear of the unknown
It's become so normal
That we forget that we are owned
Some one has a file with our name on it
In a drawer, in a room with only one door
But someone locked it
And no one knows who
But if there is anything to look forward to
There is a door
And behind it
The world is so much more
Mar 2015 · 549
Please Let Me
Kurt LaVacque Mar 2015
I am still
I am calm
I am dusk
I am dawn  
From the tips of my toes
To the highest books on the shelf
I wait for you
Please Let me

Let me be your eyes darling
Let me see the color of your sky
From the perspective of your eyes
Let me reach out and touch you
With my hands holding yours
Let me follow you to no where
And I will open all the doors
We will leave this place forever
And find somewhere new
That will always play summer
And the sky always blue
Mar 2015 · 688
Higher Consciousness
Kurt LaVacque Mar 2015
Soaked on the feeling
The longing for something different
From where?
We don't know
From who
We don't know
The difference between there and here
Isn't what is better
But what is right
We have fallen a sleep for far too long
To still be dreaming

We must fight
For our right to be awake
We must fight
For the truth that has been hidden from us
Locked in a safe
The key lost without a trace
Today is not the way
Nor was yesterday
But tomorrow could be
And thats ok

We will see past all the walls that have been constructed
Obstructing the visions of the future
We must stand
We must hold true to who and what we are
We are the creatures of Mother Earth
We are the key to life beyond birth
We can be the savior everyone deserves

We just need a little help
Everything can be right
Everything can be sane
If we all stand together
And walk between the w indow panes
As a single answer
One consciousness
One heart
Infinite love
Now is the time to start

From the very depths of our consciousness
Within these precisely tiled rooms
We live among things
And we dream about doom
"When will the clock say something different?"
I asked, still waiting for the answer
"When will we all realize that time is forever?”

And what we do with the time
Is not
What we do is not important
What we do is irrelevant
If all we are doing is blocking out the light to our eyes
Hoping that one day we will hold our heads high
Above the ashes of our past disaster
Then it does matter what you do

But what do we do?
When only questions exist
What do we do?
When only time is the answer
Can anything change?
Can we change anything?
Is whatever were doing
What we should be doing?
What should we do?

Today children we will climb
We will climb to the highest peaks of our minds
We will let our worries be free
And our desires will be lost at sea
Fold your fears into books leave them on the shelf
Deconstruct the structure we've been told
To a be the truth
It's getting old

Rewrite the stories of the universe
Starting with you
And me
Transcending to a new breath we breathe
Tell them we are strong
Tell them we are brave
Show them we can do anything
The world only tells lies when you do
Fairytales  are only fiction because we say so

Don't let them tell us our dreams are unreachable
Don't let them tell us our goals are unscorable
We will beat them
We will love them
We will conquer the fears left from their mayhem
We already have
And we always will
Let it be your thrill

Live life how its suppose to be
Live life as in the dreams you wish to seek
Let them be
Let it be
Let him be
Let her be
Let the world breathe deep
With lungs filled
Let everyone grow into the mountainous tree
They are meant to be

Let it be known that rules don’t apply
I understand
You are afraid of the secrets that they hide
But don’t be
Don’t let them win
Don’t let them begin again
Shower them with love
Wipe them clean with care
Let them know w e are here
And we are not scared
Kurt LaVacque Mar 2015
All these letters that I write
The length never long enough
The words never strong enough
And the word love
Never said enough
Can I be the sun and you be the moon?
Can I warm you with my radiance?
And you can cool me with your blue
Let's do that soon
Lets run away to dark side of your moon
So no one can find us
But of course
That only happen when the time is just right
I know we can never be together
For the distance between
Isn’t the only thing
I feel so near
Even when you are so far
But the feeling I have
Doesn’t change how we are
It makes me sad when I think of it
You leave me when I rise
And you come when I set
Am I losing my mind?
Can you tuck me in before I go to bed?
Can you wake me before its time
So I can love you for one more second
So we can live for one more rhyme
Im dying my love
When will be our time?
Jan 2015 · 360
to be is
Kurt LaVacque Jan 2015
To be is,
Not needing to explain yourself to others
Your actions are enough for the blissfully confused
To be is,
Drawing a picture not of something or a place you know
But a place you wish to be and go
To be is,
Selling all of your cloths to a second hand store
Not to buy more
But To live more
To be is,
Running because you want to
Not because you feel the social obligation to
To be is,
Climbing a tree because you want to see
To be is,
Falling down because you want to feel
To be is,
Speaking because you have something to say
To be is,
Breathing because we have no other way
Dec 2014 · 292
Kurt LaVacque Dec 2014
Everyone is here
Every step of the way
Every single motion
Can be seen through two eyes

Not sold
Not heard
And not seen
We can

Be something
Be one thing
Be happy
Make money

So we can
So we have
So we feel
Don't let them

Everyone is here
Every ONE is here
Every step of the way
Can be clear
Every single motion
Towards the next destination
Can be seen through two eyes
Not covered by our hands

Not sold
For the best price on demand
Not heard
Through bullet proof glass,
And not seen
Through water when it makes a splash
We can
Be anything

Be something
Your good at
Be one thing
Your ok with
Be happy
Live simply
Make money
Sacrifice is necessary  

So we can
Work for 50% of our lives
So we have
A house to watch our shows especially every night
So we feel
Safe because it's quite
Don't let them
Be defiant
Kurt LaVacque Nov 2014
Jenny, when I'm with
The twists and turns feel almost as if
Rainbows and butterflies can kiss
Take whatever love they can
And turn it into a plan
Jenny when you're away
The sky's are little grayer
My laughs are a little softer
And my love for you is a little stronger
For you make it easy to be a lover
Kurt LaVacque Nov 2014
Until the moon tips over
Spilling sober off the cliffs her mind
Bringing back what was thought of as the dilation of time
Subtle her face doesn't change
But traces the faint image of quite the opposite of pain
She seems to fly more than usual
Even the clouds can't hold her from being the fluttering bird she was born to be
From the tips of her toes to the tops of the trees
Jenny is love
She is my everything
Kurt LaVacque Oct 2014
I write letters to the ones that matter
To the ones that care
Even passing on a flight of stairs
I look
She looks
Our lives could be words in a story book
I read her face
She reads mine
A poet wouldn’t believe how much we rhyme
I hold her
She holds me
I wonder if this is all dream
Each page of mine intwined in hers
As we fall asleep until our yet to be written verse
Kurt LaVacque Oct 2014
My love
I have but only
2 hands to feel the softness of your skin
2 eyes to see your smile as we grin
1 nose to smell the coconut in your hair
1 mouth to smile back when we stare
2 feet to walk to ends of earth with you
1 heart that can't break, because it doesn't want too
My love
I have so many parts to love you with
For soon we will blast off and begin our forever trip
Kurt LaVacque Oct 2014
With words to describe my jenny
There's not many
Not enough to explain the feeling she makes
As we wake
Just ourselves into this new dreamality we have created for us
And others we soon will love and trust
In my letters to jenny
I write with what I can
With the words that are closest
Because forever isn't enough
When you're the one I love
Kurt LaVacque Oct 2014
Good morning love
May the sleep that we share
Fill a field of a thousand flowers
Sunflower sunsets painted as we take and digest
The beauty that is within everything
Even the destuctive and disheveled
Because darling
Broken hearts cannot halt us from achieving our dreams
I mean
I love just you and me
Kurt LaVacque Oct 2014
For you my love
I will break bones just to see
Climb Stones just to be
To listen to your voice is like a wave on the seas
Undulating with emotion
Translating with the ocean
You flow with me as I do with you
Now that I have you
Dreams are a thing that can be true
Sep 2014 · 405
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
i wonder which road taken is the road that should be taken
that should be treed by me and my friends
for years we wait till forever
to wash our hands into the river of misfortune
unfortunately for me and you
we are all the same
for lack of a better word
we are all human
why don't we start acting like it
intelligence isn't just a state of mind
you have it just like me
and that homeless guy living on the street
don't let your fear hinder what road you treed
choose by what gets you blood pumping
running through your veins
as if flowing is the only thing left to do
to be free and wild
to be a spirit
an energy
a warm light
be all of those things
while following your dream
trust me
it's worth it
and if it's not for you
then don't let your misfortune be another persons torture
Sep 2014 · 566
To End In Such A Way
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
Shed from the earth,
Searching for a greater dividing factor of 
Soliloquies between diligent rapture
Understood, expectations, relinquish, your citations
Benevolent destruction, and omniscient revelations 
Calamity, onto infamy, delegated, by a single floating leaf
Entropy without linear symmetry, involves, nothing but bigotry 
For go selective, simplicity, underestimating the unknown, killing spree
Damnation, to call upon humanity, sad to say, to end is such a way
Sep 2014 · 828
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
I love you more and more
As you pour and pour 
With tiny tap shoes I like to listen
I hope for you when you are gone
I miss you when I am lonely
I can’t go on without your voice while its storming
There is something about the way you talk to me like I matter
Not just to flatter me
Say you love me when I say it first
I wish you would never leave
If forever were as real as the love that we share
September will not be as long and I would no longer care
I hear you have to go even though it has only been a few
Just don't waste time returning to me soon
Sep 2014 · 678
I Held Too Firm
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
I held too firm to the ones that loved just a piece of me, 
Never all of me. 
At least not all at once

Linking my feelings to the ones that aren’t so dear to me, 
Just for the chance to feel something real and breathe
Just once.

I never understood why sitting alone felt so lonely
In a crowd of people that seemed to know me
I Just listen

6 month, 7  days, 2 hours, and 8 minutes
I have dinner ready, 
As I sit at this table for one, lunging at my food, as if it were almost gone
Its getting worse

Seeing faces is more difficult than ever, 
Just severed lines between now and forever
Its colder than I remember

Twice a week, Id speak, 
Clear my throat, 
Take a pill, 
Fall asleep
And Dream for weeks

In my bedroom, 
I held too firm 
The rope tied to the ledge next to my bed 
Seconds later before my death
I feel warm again
Sep 2014 · 999
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
Pre disposed dispositions
Lying scared beneath revisions
Frantic follows death and sorrow
Living free is a dream we borrow
Sep 2014 · 276
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
All these people with there painted faces
Relaying images of there favorite places
Completely disillusioned by the fact that were all still alive
Though we strive for a greater goal it seems to be fruitless to the thought of growing old 
Together we will stand
We fight for our freedom, divided by the cost of ones wallet
Call it what you may, but if you were like me, you would sit and pray for one day everything will change
I know it may be thought of as strange
Just don’t turn the page before you've read it first
I know your thirsty my friend
But the end depends on you and what time you decide to spend
Sep 2014 · 913
The Loneliness of Space
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
Even when she speaks, she's weak, 
Faded from the lack of sleep, 
Crowded by the loneliness of space
Wasted with unwritten ink in her back pocket sinking
Just echoes in her mind
Spinning in circles defined by the past we live
Forgetting the distance of right and wrong 
Before your kindness was wealthy
And your drug abuse was healthy
Replaced by your ways of killing
Swinging on your porch 
Still smiling
Whats there to do when you stop crying
Sep 2014 · 561
A Night Under the Moon
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014

I stay up late to watch the moon rise
As the sun sets, beyond my wiry eyes
Just squinting, until a soft shade of blue turns to black
Lacking the warmth of light as we drift off into this persistent night


I inhaled as the beauty only continues to grow 
Much more vibrate, without the need to show
I peer over to a girl, lying on my chest
I feel a comfort like no other, but I seem to forget the rest

He breathes slowly, fallen from the stars which are glowing
Still the night echoes with the silence of moonlight
I can see his eyes, reflect the luminary object
In which we ponder as if we were imaginary addicts


I don’t recall much of my life
Ive failed to remember ever since, that one night
So everyday, at least this is what they tell me
That I must hear a story about my life before it became cloudy


Without me knowing, he left one night to catch me a star
Actually he was coming home from just another bedtime at the bar
I woke up chilled, phone ringing off the hook 
Wondering where he is, and still I sometimes look


She is very beautiful a beauty unlike any other
I try and try but nothing I can remember
Her name elusive to my rusty old brain
I wish I could ask her but I forget how to say


If he could speak, right now, he would tell me a story
About why the moon is so high and why the stars are so boring
He always knew how to make me laugh, even without words
If only he would have stayed instead of flying away like the birds


I wonder how we met was it silhouettes and fallen leaves
Or an inebriated leap of faith as we stumbled into the trees
I hope it was grand, I wish I could know
Why she chose my chest to lay her soft little nose


I never stop thinking about how, he stole my broken heart
Then put it back together, to then tear apart
It wasn’t his fault, I know he knew what was right
But when the first leaf falls, it starts getting a little colder at night


So I lay here, listening to the essence of night itself
Wishing for no more pain for him or myself
The myriad of stars, isn’t quite what I had in mind
When looking at the universe I can’t help but feel blind
Sep 2014 · 496
My Son
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
Still the slumbering fog rolls upon your face, 
Unlike the trees as they bleed, behind the hidden bookcase, 
Filling up the spaces in my mind
I stand assertively to the side, with open palms gripping the hand of my wife
As they speak to me that our son is no longer alive
Letting go of a star whose brightness should of outlasted your own,
Leaves me with nothing but shear terror, of the unknown, 
Darkness can’t hold back the emotion in my mind, 
Lined up in a row, 
Being shot at 
One at a time
Just don’t let go
Just don’t let go
Thats all I ******* hear
Nothing but the voice of my son, ringing in my ear
I taught him how to steer
He used to sit on my lap, and shift all the gears
He went off to war, in less than a year
and now he’s gone, 
My heart is forever torn
I wish I could hold him again
Like the day he was born
Sep 2014 · 605
My Everything
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
I speak with her now and again
Well I guess just to be friends
Even though it sends a message that I still depend on well her
I don’t know 
It makes me think about all the nights we wasted on her porch 
Waiting for the sun to scorch our skin 
Every morning on just hollow bliss

I was just sitting there in the box car
Waiting for the train to get me so far away 
I didn’t care anymore
I wasn’t scared 
Just a little unprepared 
But In that same instance I couldn’t believe what my eyes had seen 
Walking through the door
As with the light she gleamed
It was a girl
And she was so beautiful

I still look back on that day
It was the first time I had seen such a face
As hers
Finding out its just a curse
So ill and unrehearsed 
We would lay by the lake 
Watching the stars, and seeing how far we can take our love
Above all 
So perfect I would say

We seemed to never be afraid of anything
We would run around town complaining about the world
And everything we would change
With just a bottle and a tear to save
We’re just time wasters
Dream Chaser 
Cheesy Love Saviors
And everything in-between
And Im ok with that
As long as she’s ok

I remember asking her 
Can I hold your hand
As the moonlight stood up so fast
Those nights
If only they would last a little bit longer
Maybe Id be stronger 
Maybe we could pick our lives and move where its bigger
I hear the city isn’t so bad
I just want you to be happy
With all the room to run free

With this torn up town
We couldn’t find a place to settle down
So every night it would be something different to yell about
Something new that made us storm out
But still that couldn’t break us
I know I wasn’t the best
I got lazy 
I just wouldn’t come out of bed
And I knew That

Please don’t say that
Im not that bad
Im not what the words that have been said
I must be dreaming
I can’t stand the world 
And my wrists are bleeding 
Don’t turn off our love
For the few mistakes that have made all of the above
I hope its not like this
I hope we can recover
Everything is just a blur now

I don’t believe how everything can change so fast
From those endless nights to being alone at last
I miss those days
I know you do to
Its not like me to beg
But please come home soon
I have something better to say
Instead of the same old garbage I shoved down your face

Its been 2 weeks and still nothing
I can’t help but fell responsible for the pain that has been caused
If we could just pause and rewind to the beginning 
Of how we met so blind
So inclined to believe in the lies
With all of my heart still tide so tight
All along with my eyes so wide

Never again will I allow my heart to be open 
To any other feelings
My dreams are the only way to stay sain
I wish the best for you
I wish we could complain like we did
Just a couple of kids 
Leaning on the edge of our eyelids
For the hope that one day we will become greatness

Still I don’t regret on the fact
I know it to be best
For the rest of the world will now be open to my life
And better yet
I will be open to it
Maybe one day we will meet again
In another life and I can save you then
We just needed time to think
To open our minds
Cause Without our dreams we’d sink
So This must be it
The end of the story when my fingers can finally quit
Stay home and be alone for a bit
And Im ok with that
Im ok with the experience 
I guess this is just another bliss
I just hope that you won’t think bad of me
Because in the end 
You are truly my everything
Sep 2014 · 832
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014

The word to describe the imminent danger that we seem to fall into, 
Once we become rhythmically sound, with whats going on, and is around
Just Us
And the world that we’ve been given
We shed, 
Still our dream seem to hide before they ever leave
And will never return
Unless we say 

Falling into the trap that we lay for ourselves
Wrapped up
Just children believe they are aloud to
Become robotic
Sitting on the table chair
Reading hieroglyphs
Under circumstances I declare
That the world is full of simple gifts
Its not the way the we should,
Its not the kind that looks good, on just anybody
Especially me and my family
As we run on the treadmill trying to step further into the sea
But the emptiness, isn’t as clean as I hoped it would be
I still feel things
You know what I mean

Like the way we walk down the side walk
Talking to the trees tripping over rocks
While selling some ****, in your ***** bathroom socks
We can only bring so much attention
To the walls that hold all of our attention
Just long enough to sing the melody
We’ve already heard too much
We understand, but never plan to do anything about it
We allow it
We fall into it
We talk about
But we’re still stuck
Lost in the grip that never loosens
Which will hide the fact that we’re all held in nooses
Being told what to choose
And who loses

But thats not what I would like to see
While I sit on the fence post waiting for the final killing spree
We are not free
And I still see double when I think about the vet
If I was a dog and had an allergic reaction to some chocolate
It seemed worth it
The pay check I receive seems worth it
When returning to the cushy 1 bed room apartment that I sleep in 
On occasion
I seldom listen 
To just the radio stations
Just to have a little peace 
From the monotony that never seises
Sep 2014 · 729
Love is Really All You Need
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
If I could envision a place 
Where there is no hate, 
Greed or Selfishness, 
Where people don’t allow themselves to be helpless 
To the ones who bring out the worst in us
It would be great 
It would so much better
If every letter you received could be read back with a smile

Like a mother when she sees her child, for the first time
And she thinks, what a beautiful life I have made.
It must feel so nice
But whats the reason why we grow up to live and then die 
Is it Because they say dreams are meant for when we sleep
Does that seem right?

Its almost as if the universe brings us down for a reason, 
To keep us in check as with the seasons
Tons and Tons of well rounded garbage
Being feed till our minds ache with discouragement 
Keeping the future blind
I know!!! 
But thats how it seems
At least to Me

For all things that gleam in the ocean
We only see a fraction
Of what our lives could be
Buts that what they want
Isn’t It?
As the expectations keep rising
We seem to find ourselves dying to make our lives unique
Even though every week we’ve spent 
Studying for that test
Cramming for that quiz

Just to see who is more equipped for this new phrase called "Real Life”
Get a load of this
The teachers say
Who can color inside the lines the best
Make sure you remember this because its on the test
But you don’t realize the power you possess

Its funny
I have never heard the teacher say “This is a good to know for “insert real life situation here"
And this is good to know for "insert real life situation here"
Just Get the grade
A's are great
B’s are ok
And C’s are well bad, you must have been led astray
At least thats what my parents would say

I am almost 21
Ive been through grade school and college
With still no knowledge on those 2 simple words
Ive been thinking about this  a lot, and how I ought to do something great'
Something different 
Its unbelievable how many walls I have to overcome in order to change my winter

Even from my parents
Who scoff at the Idea of being different
You Don’t believe in me enough to trust that I won’t end up in handcuffs
No promises of course
I like to take me life one chord at a time
Singing my own melody to my song without rhyme
But the problem with that is
Everyone is afraid of there own bliss

You have to get a job that makes a lot of money
So you can do the things you want
But growing up means you have to make a lot a sacrifices
Which means you can’t do all the things you want
Thats just how it is
Isn’t that just awful?!

We surround ourselves with so much negativity and call it being realistic
We close and lock all of our doors because its safer
Everything is the way it is and thats how it will always be
And know one seems to think there is any other way

Now if everyone just followed those simple rules
We would still be without fire a place to stay cool
So why are we taught to color on the inside
And draw straight lines
When the people that have made the most impact on this place we call Earth
Drew outside the lines, without a ruler
Or even a pencil

Everything has become a cycle
On who's brave and who’s fearful
Change doesn’t have to be sudden or immediate
But in order to change your life you must never quit
Never be content with just ok, and I don’t mean grades
I mean Life
I mean experience 
I mean love
Because Love is really all you need
It really Is
Sep 2014 · 1.7k
In my Arms I have None
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
I stress sometimes 
For the dreams Ive missed or left behind, 
The fine line of reality, and or individuality
Never have I ever severed the bridge that binds us together
But you have
My breath, heavily resting upon, her breast
Underlining her eyes, beyond the unseen sky
I wept only for your hands
Intertwined in the time we’ve wasted
Satiated with love and in all the wrong places
She will be loved more than ever
I wept only for her lips
I miss more than just the kisses, she would give
Tapering my heart to a shallow bliss
No longer will I hold you, In my arms I have none
Sep 2014 · 1.5k
I Miss You More Than Ever
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
The steps still creaked 
Even though the breathe on my neck has been stale for a week
I miss you more than ever
Severed by ties uncompressing measures
I just want you to come back home
I can show you how much Ive grown
So much I can show
Im a different person, 
I learned from my mistakes and less will be made
Without you
Is like driving on the fumes of gasoline 
From which has become empty 
Right before you drove to end of the earth with me
We’re different from other couples
Without all of the *******
Without any titles
Were just homegrown lovers caught between the cycles
Of peace and suffer 
Life or death
Love or Hate
Its not that the world is a bad place but sometimes Im left with a bad taste
In my mouth I can still feel your tongue ever so soft rolling around
As does mine
Feeling your heart beat as we disregard the oh so punctual time
It doesn’t matter when Im with you
We could drive with no destination
Talk with nothing thought of as a conclusion
You know what I mean?
Something about you changes me
Like the sun when it sets on the trees
Do you remember that day?
It was perfect
Everything Ive ever wanted
Just the two of us watching the verses of the world change
Into a symphonic chores blowing our minds to an oblivion away
If only you could see what I see
What crawls in the bed with me
Just to feel my ever rising heart beat
I miss that
I mean,
I miss you
I miss you more than ever
The way your smile crinkles your nose 
Your eyes so bright when we used to get ******
Soft meadows of apple blossom skin,
Just a touch and Im off on a binge
I can’t get enough of the way you make me feel
Your love is truly my drug
Im sorry for yelling
Im sorry for telling you all of those things I didn’t mean
In a way that made you slam the door and leave
Me alone
In this house, just a haunted memory of a door being closed and you’re gone forever
Nothing but the memories to make me better 
Only for a moment
Like a cigarette you think you’ll just have one
You think it’ll be fun
But then your hooked
I know this seems crazy
I know I wouldn’t say it
I was scared you wouldn’t believe it
I was scared you might forget it
But I love you with more of my heart then I can handle
I feel myself slipping away as though the sedatives have finally found my still so sober veins
I might not wake from this
I might not see you again
Just promise me one thing
Love with all your heart, and soon birds will begin to sing
His Girlfriend left him, They got in a fight, Its been one week, This is the poem he sends to her when he takes away his pride
Sep 2014 · 1.4k
I Just Miss You
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
Nothing I write can put forth the right attitude to this situation that keeps getting written about
I could shout at the clouds that world is not enough
But will that help
Will anything help this distasteful look to the side like I don't matter
Might as well shatter what's left of my bones in which have detached only themselves
From feeling anymore pain than they've already felt
You have brought the sadness in me to new heights
Climbing to the top isn't as fun the second time
I'm just your shadow
Hollow with emptiness that you fill me up with 
Just another day in the life of me and my best friend
I've got the glass half empty kind of view on life 
As it were underlined in white
My sight still not the best
I'm as short as I was in grade school
But that didn't seemed to matter as much back then 
So many words we would say about how we were together 
Different than the others
We can live forever
Those words must not mean anything since you seemed to forget them more and more
I'm sorry if you're bored I'll try to be different more exciting
Unlike the sediment that keeps decomposing around me
I just miss you 
I miss the way we would talk about
And it kills me to never see you alone without your phone and your other half that think that she owns 
Were just a forgotten verse In the chorus of you and her
So then there's me
Cursed with a thousand hearts to roam the sea alone
Never shown which way to go
I just keep writing till I find my other muse
To invest the rest of my time in
Before this becomes a bruise
Sep 2014 · 472
I Haven’t Fallen, Yet
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
I haven't fallen 
Yet to rise it seems 
Im crawling in and out of breath
Testing the limits of your life and my death
Subjectively defying the gravity, that we lie in-between 
Screaming for a better way to stay clean, 
From all the lies that you meant to say
Just doubt melting from your face
Laced with despair, and sorrow
Borrowing my heart, discarding the lies you gave to start, with
Understanding half of what it is, depends on which truth decides to win
Bringing more pain, and anguish
Flustering failed attempts at love 
Shoved aside like a lonely lion cub 
Begging for mercy as the night breaks the awareness, surrounded by the rest
Protecting more that just her heart from the mournfulness of death
So sleep softly my child
For the light isn’t the only thing that shines in the wild
Sep 2014 · 331
Ever Since
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
Sure she never said she loved me, 
But It felt real didn't it, 
Everything feels ******* real, 
This is real life isn't it, 
How can something be fake in a world so real, 
Its like a time bomb ticking, with a letter that pops out that says just kidding, 
And as you read it, you seem to dream of how it would be
How you would be, if nothing ever happened in the way it seemed, 
So can my thoughts be traced back to you and me, 
Seeing you scream as you woke up from a dream, 
I lean over to kiss you, but ended up missing you
As I fall asleep alone, with no one that loves you
I mean me
Sep 2014 · 1.1k
"Closer", She Said
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
"Closer", She said
Gripping her hand on the foot of my bed
Looking back trusting only me
To love her as if this love will last forever
Holding her head back
Only pausing when were out of breathe
Testing our limits with no fear
Resting for seconds 
I feel her hands again
She whispers so soft to me
Leaning so close to me
Feeling her love underneath
As we crawl under the sheets
Edges so far the center we lie
Closing the bridge between you and I
I gathered my thoughts
Thawing the chill you sent down my spine
The words on my heart
They speak more than ever
Lets fall with grace my darling
For tonight we live forever
Sep 2014 · 1.4k
Calmly Step Forward
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
Don't underestimate, dilate or infatuate yourself with any one thing, person or activity 
To the square root of time divided by the tranquility
Within the boundaries of forever and infinity 
You can decipher it with love
Still debating whether or not life can be held with just one glove
Still we wait
I almost decided to close the gate
Lock the doors
Swear at the top of my lungs 
That this song has already been sung
But I didn't 
I can't win when my neck is still so hung
On the fact that the human condition is still a sad rendition on what real happiness is trying to finish
Not until the end
She said
Not without a friend to hold hands with
Lie on the floor and in dreams you would dance with
I can't help it if we chose it
I can't help it if we're suppose to do it
It's not like I'm the one who gave you the power to abuse it
Calmly step forward 
Your passion will guide you to the new world order
Sep 2014 · 723
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
She opens up once
In a trance
She believed she could dance
The shelf was no place to hide
A talent so brilliant
So resilient she was
With her posture so bold
Never taking kind to the cold
But she seldom complained
And she was never strange
The time I left
Like I tore her last page
If she would only understand
I don’t live life with a back up plan
Its been two weeks
I feel more ashamed
For the actions i've proclaimed
To be mine
Though they rhyme
I cant help but sing out of time
When she looks at me like that
I feel the pages turning in my head
Though nothing I say
Can open you up my own
I just realized
When we dance so close
I feel less alone
Sep 2014 · 521
Beyond Her Frame
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
Underneath all the pain struck so deep 
I can still hear her screaming, 
Just a forgotten heart beat
For it was more than the damage 
That distorted the surge of blood 
Out of her wrists into the rug
Don't lie to me and say its just a phase, 
The blood on your floor will never be replaced
Faced with the fear of pain,
Suffering expecting her to be tame
Blame, isn’t understanding, loving, 
Demanding suits it, alone with a knife until she used it
Your Clueless, 
I wish you could see the love
That you’re going to miss
Not just the bliss of love, 
Come on
She’s just a little girl inside, still wanting her fathers love, 
Never knowing if its enough, 
Always searching 
Never stopping
Divided by the time we waste with the lies that we try to trace
Back to when it started
For Life will never be the same
If you don’t look beyond her frame
Sep 2014 · 522
Among the Lies
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
In the midst of all the:
Killing an­d
We find ourselves staring into an endless expanse of space within and around our minds
Falling to keep in the boundaries of time
Crashing the walls that keep those in line
Crawling between this ever increasing length seems tragic
Smashing for all those who think thoughts without magic
Willing for the chance to win before losing
Trying before life begins to be bruising
Killing is not what is believed to be brutal
Dying is the truth that hides behind real
But in the midst of all the
Killing and
We must learn to live within the truth among lying
Sep 2014 · 578
A Place to Start
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
Forever she said lifting up the covers as we crawled into bed
Together we can make it
Take only our dreams
Breathe only our love and leave nothing but things…..
From under the sheets, as we sleep
I can feel your fingertips as they move from heartbeat to heartbeat
Slipping through my hand as it folds onto yours
Breathing so softly as we shut all the doors
But our minds can never be closed
As we doze off into our eternal slumber we call our
"sweet sweet dreams"
From when the last light leaves our eyes
She speaks to me softly
As the sun sets in the skies
Believe in the hope that is within our hearts
And love will guide us with a place to start.
Sep 2014 · 475
A Place to Call Home
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
When I asked for this dance with life and its chances, 
Fell into my arms a place
As it had been named
By people I can’t call anything less than my family
Let me just explain
I hope these weeks, actually months, haven’t been too much to handle
For me more like blissful
You have made my stay in Minnesota much more graceful
Instead of painful, as it had been
Living in the city was not so pretty, 
People aren’t friendly and the days were never ending
I could barley stand it, I demanded more for myself
This house, 
A place to call home, 
Your love, and 
Everything that you’ve done
For me
So wonderful these months have become,
I can never Thank you enough for the love you have shown me,
Don’t worry I will lock the door in the morning
Sep 2014 · 379
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
Despite all the terror, we’ve seen, 
Cleaned our hands, while others speak 
We dreamed of a better world 
Swirling, twirling, killing, and dying
Our eyes will forever be opened
To the crime that was set aside
As our mothers cry, behind closed doors, 
Pouring out the ashes of a boy they once adored
A Forgotten subject 
That we bleed with the intent of being healed
Sealed up in caskets, like little puppets
Stuff like were magic as we stand there like targets
But those aren’t words anymore, 
Just noise ever since, my brother died
Letters used to bring me joy, 
Until I grew up into nothing thought of as a boy
The toys they give us, pain, and suffering, 
Buffering the idea, that our hands are still clean
We cling to love, as if hate was shoved into our faces
Running scared, to breathe the air
There is no way Ill cut hair
I wrote this poem while I was in the musical "Hair", a musical which was set in the 60s during Vietnam, where everyday was a mystery. You didn't know whether to hide or fight. It was very scary time.
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
let's be water
and flow where we want 
go where we wish 
and fall till were gone

let's be sand
and lay till we can’t
sit where we stand
as I crawl to your hand

let's be ice 
and go where its cool
live like we rule
the world is no fool

let's be fire 
and burn till we’re cold
flicker to the beat
with the rhythm and soul

let's be air 
and float through the sky
stop all our cares
and go where its high

let's be rocks
and last forever we will
roll around and fall down
without a care in the world 

let's be trees 
and live as long as we last
grow taller than the highest mast
and give love at every pass

let's be flowers 
and grow where there’s grass
love with our hearts
and let go of the past

let's be flowers and grow where there’s grass
I sent the line "lets be flowers and grow where there's grass" to my very best friend, we were talking about who and what we could be, and or going to be one day.
She was very satisfied with bing a flower. ha.
Sep 2014 · 446
i love.
Kurt LaVacque Sep 2014
i love you as much as the sky likes to be blue
with the different shades and subtle hues
it reminds me a lot of you

i love you as much as water likes to be wet
when it falls, when it splashes
your love is not something I can forget

i love you as much as the sun likes to shine
blinding is not the word nor the phase just in case 
it reminds me of you face

i love you as much as a seed like to sprout
with little legs and little arms
we try and be the biggest we can and are

i love you as much as our bare feet like to be *****
we walk around it, towards it and away from
not afraid of tomorrow before yesterday comes

i love you as much as bees like their honey
sweet, and smooth, warm and sticky
you seem to breath when you're with me

i love you as much as trees wish to be tall
we change and we grow, and it shows
the world is a wonderful place to go

i love you as much as the leaves like to fall
though it may seem scary to jump before you look
just think of the breeze blowing though the pages of your book

i love you as much as the seasons like to change
we find ourselves in a different places tasting different tastes
don't run out of time before we get erased

i love you as much as children like to play
on a swing, in a tree, in space where ever it may be
learn to live within the adolescent dream 

i love you.
Each beginning line was a text that my best friend and I to sent each other over the course of the day.
In order, except for one line.
I finished of the rest the next day.
She really liked it.
I love her so much.

— The End —