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Salsa Jun 4
The hazy hours, the break of dawn.
The candlelight kindling your living room.
The ardour of your fingertips, brushing my palm.
The question you asked me, hanging in doom.

"There's something I need to clarify, contest this but don't ask why.
Could you list five things you like about yourself?
The light is green, give it a try."

The shadows of lashes painting my skin.
My downcast eyes saturate to the brim.
The blocks in my head, the lump in my throat,
Why haven't I an answer to this simple poll?

Stuffed with self-loathing?
Weighted with doubt?
Could that be the root of my soft-pedal mouth?
I made a bid,
I lifted a finger,
The answer never came, the longer I lingered.

"Your silence has met my expectations.
I can't ask you for your love if you can't give it to yourself.
I can't pick up the tessera to put back on the shelf.
The mosaic is your own, here's the polish and a crown,
I'll stand by and watch, to fault my preconceptions.
I'll stand by and wait, in anticipation."
A typical "I can't love you if you don't love yourself" scenario.
Don't fall for it, it's *******. Everyone deserves to be loved.
Salsa Mar 31
I see the stages of our days-
as markings in calendars and time stamps on calls,
signs of devotion, all in all.
I see them in reels of film
and picture frames,
playing on shut-eye screens,
and hanging, in the walls of my mind.
Visions of a life that passes me by.

The look in your eyes when you tell me "you're mine".
The sound of your laugh, how it melts like honey and warms me inside.
The taste of your lips, when you've had a lot to drink. Your saccharine smile, flushing china pink.
The feel of your hands, caressing the ivory. Dreaming up melodies so effortlessly.
The scent of your neck, of daisies that daze me, when you're all over me.

Enamoured with the way you walk, your hands in your pockets.
How you care for your dogs, and every living thing.
Your mind and the riddles it speaks, the genius of your thoughts sweep me off my feet.
And how you sleep so gracefully, how you reach out to me and wrap me in your arms unconsciously.

I beg my heart to capture this, to remember this,
I wouldn't want to forget it.
Like permanent tattoos and ancient wallpaper
I want you inked and plastered
in journals, poetry, & my psyche.
I do this just in case, for my heart's sake,
There's no doubt of you leaving my mind.
I can say it with candour,
There's no putting you away,
You, in all your symmetry, are here to stay.
About Jordan (of course, could I be more in love?). In the words of wolf alice- "when I see you the whole world reduces to just that room", and that's exactly how I feel. I notice everything about him when I'm with him. I never want to sleep or blink or look away. I love being in his home and just watching him live, he makes it look so beautiful.
Salsa Feb 28
I sit back, reminisce and daydream of our first kiss.
How it made my head spin,
and livened my heart,
took off with my breath
as we danced with the stars.
Swaying on tiptoes
in the grass to a song,
moving closer and closer
in your arms where I belong.
A smile escapes your lips,
you knew what to do,
entranced by the words
"You've got me wanting you"
You leaned down for a kiss,
to follow through.
For a sweet instant, the world fell to a hush
Stepping back, I couldn't help,
couldn't strive not to blush.

It's a moment that I keep
under heavy lock and key.
I dare not to share it,
I keep it just for me.
Count this an exception, I wrote it down this time.
Let the relic of our first kiss never die.
Snapshot of my first kiss with Jordan. We spent the whole day together after meeting for the first time and it happened when we were back in my garden, dancing to sugar sugar by the archies. Perfect ending to the perfect day **.
Salsa Feb 24
One look from you
dismantles my bones.
Jordan. His eyes send me to my knees.
Salsa Feb 3
Time and again,
at dusk or dawn,
I force my head to envisage
a mirage or an image
of your bones lying still in death.
That helps me sleep at night.
It calms my breath.

In my dreams, you're a phantom.
Torn away from me, inadvertently.
You didn't leave,
pick up and disappear deliberately.
You were poisoned, ill, murdered, killed,
you froze or passed in sleep,
you maybe drowned at sea.
Not in despair, in a life so unfair.  

You did what you thought was best.
Perhaps it was, I still can't tell.
It's what you do when you're young,
seek a new start, a chance to become
something you can't run away from.

In my dreams, I'm your companion.
Your muse, friend and lover,
we ran away together.
Travelled and settled, hand in hand.
Built a life that could withstand
everything that drove you away forever.

In my dreams, you couldn't let go and we didn't have to end.
In reality, I find it easier to pretend you were dead.
You'll live forever in my dreams.
My brain makes up stories to compartmentalise when I'm in pain, like imagining the love of my life dead when they broke my heart. Morbid yes, but it helped me start to heal.
Salsa Dec 2018
I left my heart in December,
in a strife that I surrendered.

I lost the wind from my sails.
Without your touch, my plight prevailed.

I lived in despair,
whenever you weren't there.

Against broken promises and disarray,
I remained loving you anyway.
I can't believe you're gone, Jordan. I still love you. I always will.
Salsa Nov 2018
Dirt to Adam's ale.

As the ripples trace my skin,
the circling cyclones of my crown
lull and quell with my sinking breath.

The deepness of the blue
guarantees my sanctuary.
I swim and swim until I am free.
I've always had this almost supernatural connection to water. I adore it with all my heart. Whether it's the sea or a pool, I'm instantly at peace when I'm near it. The only time I can be truly happy is when I'm swimming. I live by the sea, my ancestors were pearl divers, water carriers, coast guards.. the list is endless. Even my name is derived from water. It just seems like a sign that it's where I belong.
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