Oh how exhausting it is
To give and give and give
Everything that I am
And still
It's never enough

Sometimes I wish I could just let go
Be reckless
Not worried about what could happen
The what-ifs, the consequences
Just living like it was my last day
As if nothing mattered
If I survived or not wouldn’t be a question
Because at least I would be living
Taking that leap
No anxiety or guilt or fear
Just life
Reckless, fearless worry-free life
Sometimes,
I wish

Even on cloudy days, she is beautiful.
Full of life and color
Always moving forward,
Never letting anything get in her way.
She is more beautiful on the bad days.
When the sky is dark and looming,
She can still bring light and life.
She can make you feel safe.
With her songs in the trees, in the water, and in the wind that brushes against your cheeks

She is beautiful.

Love is a complicated emotion for me

I can be impulsive and impatient, too honest

My heart is a fast driver, forgetting to stop at the red lights

I feel like I go too fast and get ahead of myself

Caught up in the rush of joy and freedom

The others led me the wrong way

The others let me speed ahead and crash

Lucky for me, I found you

You jumped right in for the ride

You turned all those lights green

You showed me how to feel free while staying on track

You turned impulse into passion

Love is a complicated emotion for me

At least it used to be

You don’t know what you want.
I want your smiles, touches, and gazes.
You need time to figure it out.
I’ve figured it out, time with you is all I need.
You are scared of commitment and making promises.
I promise I’m committed to making you feel safe.
You don’t want to lead me on.
I’ve led myself in your direction for a reason.
You apologize for hurting me and making me feel less.
You make me feel more than you could ever know, and that's what hurts the most.

I'm addicted.
Addicted to the rush of joy that fills my heart
To the affection, the small touches
Addicted to the laughter and smiles
To the companionship, the connections
Addicted to the feeling of falling for you
To not knowing what happens next
Addicted to the butterflies that find their home in my heart
To catching my breath and the feeling of floating in the clouds
Addicted to the colors in your eyes,
The words in your mind,
The shape of your hands,
And every freckle, tan-line, and flaw that you think you see
Addicted to every second spent together
Each memory being filed away for safe keeping
Addicted to feeling weightless, worry-free and worth something
Feeling like everything may be falling into place, finally

But addictions have consequences, side effects
Disappointment, tears, broken hearts
Like the first drag off the cigarette, hitting your chest like bricks
Making your mind foggy and thoughts fade for just a moment
Toxic.
But you can’t help but go back for another
You can't help but think about when the next one will come around
Because addictions hit hard
Sometimes slowly making their way, sometimes in the blink of an eye

I'm hooked.
Addicted.
To the split second thoughts of pure, raw happiness
The kind that makes every other moment feel so dull
Addicted, knowing that Ill end up broken and burnt out
Letting my heart take the lead
Knowing it has no self-control and moves too fast
Knowing Ill put my guard down to anyone who might feed the addiction, hoping that this one will be different
Addicted to the chase, catch and learning to let go
I wish I could quit ya love, but I can't
I'm addicted.

New friends, new emotions
Butterflies that haven't been around for a while
Your hands on my skin feel like a breath of fresh air
Gentle, caring, seeing all of me with just your fingertips
A hug that feels like a lifetime
A tight squeeze that doesn't drain me, but fills me with happiness
An embrace that leaves my heart racing
A little gift that means so much more than you could imagine
Something as small as thread and feathers
And you've got me hooked
Blue eyes, those big blue eyes
Like watching waves of the ocean crashing
Captivating, pulling me in
An appreciation for good music
My music is me, my voice, my emotions, my thoughts
You like my music, I like yours
I like you.