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Mar 7 · 351
Mariana's Trench
Deep down in the darkness

I transform

I am hiding under the shadow of myself
Feb 28 · 522
A little death
Grayscale world and
Lifeless lifelines
There's a lack of color here

Where is the meaning?

If dying is an art
My soul is virtuoso
Jul 2020 · 362
Abyssal
LittleFreeBird Jul 2020
I

am

bottomless


this gaping
maw

place my heart
vacated

I am
devoid

and resonance has
deserted me

this is a lonely
place to be




inside myself


.
Jul 2020 · 647
She Walks in Beauty
LittleFreeBird Jul 2020
Wild spirit  
dancing under
Moon lit
sky
bathing in  
Her nocturnal
essence

Artemis
Diana
Hecate


Shadow twisting
around the fire
kissing
naked skin
toes skimming
in exultation

Maiden
Mother
Crone
...
Jul 2020 · 593
Falling in place
LittleFreeBird Jul 2020
Time is motion         always

Reaching

I am seeking,                falling

Into place,                       never  

Going past myself,          
                                        graspin­g,
Slipping through      

empty

space.
Mar 2018 · 707
Scrap Paper
LittleFreeBird Mar 2018
The earasing hands of time will never reach you
Where I’ll keep you
Tucked in my pocket
A one line ryhme
Take you out
Unfold and hold you
Mar 2018 · 503
The Bitch Is Back
LittleFreeBird Mar 2018
And to this day
I fit her like a pair of
Old sneakers
Favorite worn out jeans

I am a place
To rest her weary bones

She is silent
Violent
The way she stretches me out
Filling the places
I had long forgotten about
LittleFreeBird Jul 2017
i want to scream out poetry
that feels like swallowing rocks
when you hear it
Apr 2017 · 697
Fierce
LittleFreeBird Apr 2017
You loved my gentle
You loved my quiet
Can you learn to love my ferocity?
My cacophony?

Aren't I just as beautiful
When I'm burning?
Apr 2017 · 638
Careless
LittleFreeBird Apr 2017
Sometimes I
Forget
How wrapped up
How entangled I
Am
With you
I forget that
When I hurt you I
Feel the pain too

It is a sharp reminder
Mar 2017 · 1.2k
Seamstress
LittleFreeBird Mar 2017
Fate stitched us together
Love sewed us a pattern
Every bit of me is
Threaded through you
Darling we are patch work
Cross stitched across boarders
Time has hemmed us to perfection
And we are
A master piece
I'm watching you sleep right now, you look so peaceful that I didn't want to wake you to tell you I love you. So I'm telling you here, I love you.
May 2016 · 1.0k
I don't miss him anymore.
LittleFreeBird May 2016
His face trembles in my hands, melting into a mirage of colors, dripping to the ground. The picture falls face down on my bed, tattered and ripped along the edges, crumpled and water stained. I sit next to him, laying on my back. I stare off at the empty void above me. My lights are off. The doors are locked. Windows cracked just enough to let a lightless breeze in. The air is crisp with snow, and I know the carpet is getting wet but I don’t care. My fingers graze cold metal and I grip it tightly. Why did he have to go? Why couldn’t he just stay and fight like I did for him? Was our life together not enough? I twist the ring on my finger absently, realizing that it will never have the second, matching ring on it. I get up with shaking legs and open the top drawer of our dresser. The smell of him hits me like a ton of bricks, right in the face. Holding my breath, I reach blindly around, trying to ignore the feel of his shirts. I find the little velvet box with one ring from a set of two in it, remembering the last time I opened this drawer.

The dress's collar is too tight against my throat and I pull at the itchy lace right before the music starts. The steady rhythm is the only thing allowing me to walk. I march to the beat, lifeless, like a zombie. He's waiting for me at the alter and I hurry, wanting to feel him again. His eyes are closed. I wish he'd look at me, tell me how beautiful I am, hell, even cry a little. But no, he just keeps that dead look on his face. My heart squeezes painfully, and the wrong kind of tears run down my cheeks. The priest looks at me mournfully when I finally get there. I wrap my fingers around my soon to be husband's cold, stiff hand as I look out at the crowd one last time, a solemn sea of black. I turn my attention to him now, never taking my eyes off his face as I say my vows. I give a gentle squeeze in recognition of the response he can't give, and slide the ring on his swollen finger, then mine on my own. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the... groom." The priest has a hard time keeping the revoltion out of his voice. Ignoring it, I plant a soft, loving kiss on my husband's pale blue lips. He no longer smells like he used to. The priest allows me a moment before he begins unlocking the wheels on the coffin. I hold my husband's hand as we make our way down the aisle. This is not how I imagined this day two years ago. The rest flys by; lowering him into the ground, the prayers, and I don’t even know if  I'm crying. I can feel nothing. I am home, except I'm not because home is 10 miles away under six feet of dirt. I can't stop staring at the ring on my finger. It is consuming me in thoughts I never wanted to think. I rip it off and throw it in the top drawer- his drawer, so that I'm not tempted to go back for it. The thought of taking my other ring off passes through my mind, but it is so unbearable I cannot entertain it. I've gotten so used to it, feeling the absence would only remind me of what else I have lost, so I keep it and then collapse to the ground, a bottle of xanax in my hand. I swallow three and wash it down with the half empty bottle of wine next to the bed. I fall asleep with the bottle in one hand and the glass in the other.

The memories shake me, and I regret ever taking the **** ring off. Ceremoniously, I slide it back on, placing his picture on the pillow on his side of the bed and lay next to him. The coldness of it bites into my palm and makes me tremble harder. I feel it brush against my temple and suddenly, I am doing this. Fear leaves me. Now it's just me and cold, hard determination. I breathe deeply for the last time. My finger pulls the trigger back, and I am bathed in a newer, more permanent darkness.

I don't have to miss him anymore.
Apr 2016 · 447
The Oceans In You
LittleFreeBird Apr 2016
Wipe those waves from your eyes sweetie
There's no reason to make your cheeks a shoreline
Dec 2015 · 416
Like I Was Nothing
LittleFreeBird Dec 2015
They packed my existence away
in ***** card board boxes.
Nov 2015 · 419
No Refills Left
LittleFreeBird Nov 2015
when its empty
and lonesome
so am
i
when theyre gone
faded into yesterday
so am
i
when they disappear
so do
i

since when did i become
a prescription?
Nov 2015 · 581
A Mask To Hide The Trenches
LittleFreeBird Nov 2015
What am I
But a memorization of
Echoes
Sep 2015 · 424
Internal Rain
LittleFreeBird Sep 2015
In gentle winds
birds sing until they break evil bones
but it just takes looking past the storms.
Despite snow, my bones rage and scald
inside


and your warmth is at bay

from here.
Sep 2015 · 931
A Violent Love
LittleFreeBird Sep 2015
i rip through you like a hurricane

but you cradle me like summer rain.
Sep 2015 · 450
A Temple Fallen
LittleFreeBird Sep 2015
My body is a house
holding dead things inside


My sanctuary desecrated.
Sep 2015 · 356
Now I'm Left Sinking
LittleFreeBird Sep 2015
I loved you
like crashing waves love the shoreline...

but then the ocean swallowed me up.
LittleFreeBird Aug 2015
You were under my skin,
so i tried cutting You out;
now all i'm left with are
hand-me-down bandages
and something for the pain.
Jun 2015 · 996
Singed
LittleFreeBird Jun 2015
Small flame in darkness,
You became my inferno


Your spark scalded me.
May 2015 · 565
Insignificant
LittleFreeBird May 2015
I exist
in stolen moments,
like spare change
in someone else's
pocket.
May 2015 · 566
Insomniac
LittleFreeBird May 2015
There are nights
When I just want to give in
Let the world swallow me
And erase everything
I've fought to become

There are nights
When I'm lonlier than others
I drift along my bare conciousness
I see your eyes drawn out in stars
And hear you calling my name in the breeze

There are nights
When hope is nonexistant
A long forgotten memory of a dream
When I can't hold inside
Everything that threatens to spill out

Then...
There are the nights
Spent with you
And those are the kind of sleepless hours
I live for
LittleFreeBird May 2015
He swallowed her words
Too desperate for salvation
To see he was
Choking down razors.
May 2015 · 456
The Marionette
LittleFreeBird May 2015
There is strength in the way I
Collapse

Under pressure I
Fall

But at my will I
Reassemble

No one has cut my strings
Yet
Apr 2015 · 464
Anesthetized
LittleFreeBird Apr 2015
HEART BEATING
                              TO A
                                      RESTLESS
                 ­                                       RHYTHM
THERE'S NOTHING
                                   LEFT FOR
                                                    ME HERE
                                                            ­  ANYMORE


IN THE FACE
                       OF MY
                                   PRESENCE,
                                                       I AM



                                                   absent.
Apr 2015 · 761
Osteoporosis
LittleFreeBird Apr 2015
There is a
Hairline fracture
In the structure of my being

My life is but a collection of moments
Spent waiting for myself
To
c
       r
  u
              m
       b
              l
                  ­ e . . .
Apr 2015 · 614
Stockholm Syndrome
LittleFreeBird Apr 2015
He captured her heart
She hasn't looked back.
Mar 2015 · 534
The Stranger In The Mirror
LittleFreeBird Mar 2015
I don't know who I've become
It's been so long since I had a reflection...
Mar 2015 · 396
What You Can't See
LittleFreeBird Mar 2015
It is going from living in a constant state of light to surviving in sudden darkness. Something has been blacked out your vision. You didn’t put it there, you didn’t want it there, you didn’t ask for it to come consume your sight and everything in it. You want to take off the blindfold, wipe the tar from your eyes, get rid of the blackness seeping into your retinas. Your hands are bound, and everyone keeps telling you “Just uncover your eyes, no one can help you but yourself” because they can’t see that your hands are tied. What they don’t realize is that theirs are too, and they will remain ignorant to their ******* until they are just like you, struggling to escape what has ensnared them. You would love nothing more than to rip the obstruction from your eyes, but you cannot. It colors everything in a lack of color, the darkness so infinitely black that nothing else can come through. You are detached, unhinged, and worst of all- no one can tell that you’ve gone blind.
Mar 2015 · 415
My Arms Are Always Open
LittleFreeBird Mar 2015
It's not so important to hold someone together
As it is to put them back again.
Mar 2015 · 861
My Immortal
LittleFreeBird Mar 2015
And Beloved?
You will never die
Because I will preserve you perfectly
In ink.
Mar 2015 · 442
Lacerate
LittleFreeBird Mar 2015
I’ve torn myself to shreds
And there is nothing left under this skin
Worth loving
Anymore
Mar 2015 · 419
A Peaceful Kind Of Chaos
LittleFreeBird Mar 2015
Those days when the sky is an impossible shade
that is stuck somewhere between "Oh god, anywhere
but here" and "It's too late, just let me be",
when the air itself is grey and every
breath you take only darkens it
until you walk around curtained in black,
and the mist clings to you like a
second skin and freezes your bones
and you must move slowly as not to
break them, but you can't let go of the fear
of being left behind so you ignore
the SNAP!-SNAP! of your extremities
buckling under a speed they
cannot handle.

Those are the days
when I walk softly and speak quietly
terrified one whisper will
shatter the world I have so precariously
built around myself.

I don't want to wake the dead.
LittleFreeBird Mar 2015
My mistakes are never clean
never in perfect little
-messed up rows, they are ugly
blotted lines, scratched out verses

I am an unfinished prose
-forgotten, used and crossed off
but so raw at the moment
in which I was unwritten.
Mar 2015 · 378
Musings
LittleFreeBird Mar 2015
The grayness of everyday has become a comfort
Such that when the sun rises
It hurts to look
LittleFreeBird Feb 2015
Same song Different Unbearable-
tune

Dreading
Many
somethings

Except-
Clicking pieces
A Timeless Touching
Dreaming From early dawns
Hour
So my friend made this generator that takes in text and spits out random words from the text. He fed through a bunch of my poetry and then I took the words it gave and rearranged them into a stream of consciousness.
Feb 2015 · 500
The Inferno I Cannot Escape
LittleFreeBird Feb 2015
My lungs were not made of glass
But of mirrors
Reflecting the hollows they occupy
And my bones were not made of ashes
But if they had been
They would still be worth more than the dirt
Beating in your chest
That mine so desperately craves
Feb 2015 · 415
3:29 AM
LittleFreeBird Feb 2015
It’s Thursday night and I’m
Three sheets to the wind
And screaming for you
But my voice falls flat into the toilet
And the way you look at me
Makes me feel like you wish I’d disappear
Down the drain too
Along with all my other mistakes
Feb 2015 · 760
Abeyance
LittleFreeBird Feb 2015
I am always
Not quite undone
Jan 2015 · 513
Eulogy
LittleFreeBird Jan 2015
With love as infinite
And boundless as the sea
He gave his last kiss to the shoreline
And drifted away from me

But the tide will do as the tide does
With serenity and calmness
In all that he was

Though his footprints have been washed from the sand
Do not cry, rest easy now
He's in Gods hands

He is in every rising wave
Every sea gulls cry
In every day we are brave
And in every breath the wind sighs

A wise father
A gentle brother
Returned again to the sand and water

Because what The Deep gives
It must one day take
But do not be afraid
Just know
When the currents pull
They are pulling you home
Jan 2015 · 594
A New Dawn
LittleFreeBird Jan 2015
While I may still live in the night
The stars have finally come out
And I do not long for day
I am a child of the sleeping sun
But the difference is
I have learned not to trip
In the darkness
LittleFreeBird Jan 2015
That summer was hotter than any of the others before. The county was dryer than it had ever been, and the kids more restless than years past. I was sitting on the front porch at my granddaddy’s, swinging slowly with the breeze that offered no relief from that God awful heat. I was in a little black sundress, which was hard to find because most people prefer pink or yellow or orange  - anything but black during the summer. But you can’t wear pink or yellow or orange to a funeral. So there I sat, in my black sundress, black sun hat and black heels. I even had black sunglasses, but I opted for those on my own. I had no desire for every eye in Harlan to see me cry. The sunlight hurt my eyes anyway; I had one hell of a hangover. The night before was the first time I’d drunk anything but sweet tea or water in my life. My body did not take kindly to it. I was doing a lot of things my body did not take kindly to as of late, drinking being only one of the many vices I’d begun to partake in. “Come on girl, we best get a goin’. Ain’t gonna do to be late for this one.” Granddaddy offered me a hand and helped me up. The car ride there was silent, but I would catch him every once in a while glancing over at me to make sure I was “Keepin’ my **** together.” He knew about the drinking and had my hide for it.  It was far too soon that I had to step out of the car and walk to the front row where your family sat. The rest of the day went by in a blur. Your momma hugging me. Your daddy shaking my hand. Your sisters clinging to the skirt of my dress. I don’t know when I started crying, just that the tears seemed like they had been there since the day I was born. The songs we sang were all wrong and the sky was too blue and the birds sang too loud. The wind blew too much and not enough, because if it had been enough it would have carried me far, far away from that place, but too much because it’s sigh sounded far, far too much like yours. I kept it together until that first handful of dirt hit the lid of that ****** box that was going to hold you for the rest of eternity. I remember being jealous because I wanted to be the one holding you, not that hole in the ground. When it was my turn to throw it in, I fell. I fell as hard as when I fell in love with you, except you weren’t there to catch me this time, you were too busy in entering into the arms of our Good Lord. So I kissed the dirt I held in my hand (when it finally stopped shaking) and threw it in, then I tried to throw myself in. But granddaddy caught me before I could get to you and they covered you up before I could claw my way in. It hasn’t been the same since you left; the air doesn’t smell near as sweet and the sun doesn’t burn near as bright. I haven’t had the heart to wash the mud off that dress yet and I’ve had too much heart to throw it away. You left me to live in a world full of contradictions, Darlin’. Left me to live a life that knocks me to the ground and waits for me to get back up, just so it can kick me in the teeth.

And, I suppose, in your absence, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Jan 2015 · 771
The Devil Is In The Details
LittleFreeBird Jan 2015
I always feel like there is someone choking me, tying impossible amounts of knots into the noose they have strung around my neck and used as a leash.
LittleFreeBird Jan 2015
Like a shattered window I
Am in pieces
Too small
To reconstruct
Jan 2015 · 983
Run Away With Me
LittleFreeBird Jan 2015
I've grown tired of the cold
That tugs on my skin here
I want to go where the sun shines
And chase rays
Instead of rain drops
You can bury yourself
Along the shoreline
And I'll let the ocean
Sweep me off my feet
Jan 2015 · 1.4k
Love Has Four Seasons
LittleFreeBird Jan 2015
A woman asked me
How it felt to see my lover again
And I found myself
Most inconveniently out of words, darling
My mouth opened
I almost said
Being with him
Is like Summer rain
In the Sahara
Or the first sip of water taken
By a thirsting man
Like the cool feeling of grass beneath bare feet
In the spring
The smell of blooming Wisteria  
Like a bonfire in Autumn
The sound of leaves falling from the trees
It is like the first snow of winter
Blanketing the world in white
Or the the steam from a cup of tea

But instead I smiled
And closed my eyes

"It was everything I needed it to be."


.
Jan 2015 · 5.4k
Color Me Happy
LittleFreeBird Jan 2015
He looked down sadly
Staring at his hands
"I'm covered in heart break."
I touched his arm
And he looked up at me
"I know."
"Its the color of your eyes."
"I know that, too."


.
Piece of a short story I'm writing
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