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lisa Dec 2019
You were never mine
But my heart is always yours.
lisa Nov 2019
The shattered parts of me continue to be beaten
My crushed emotions and little strength are slowly vanishing
The fuzz light of hope dims as time goes by.

My bones are weak;
My voice is getting small,
My fingers find it hard to grasp,
and my legs begin to tremble.

I am ablaze with sadness,
fear, longing, and doubt
The days are becoming slower and longer
My gaze is getting blurred.
Will I be able to find my way home?
lisa May 2016
Is this really it?
Won't I ever see your smile again?
Won't I ever have to hold your hand
And kiss you when I can?
Is this really it?
Our laughter,
Our tears,
Our happiness,
Our stories,
Our love.

Is this really it?

I can feel your hand on me fading
Fading, fading...
Slipping away
And I can no longer see....
lisa Mar 2016
June 30, 2015

You were once a stranger to me before
A person I usually see;
Someone I barely talk to.

But why do I suddenly
find myself longing for your presence?
Why do I suddenly notice how
your eyes widens when a joyful word
slips from your mouth?

Why am I suddenly wanting to see
your smile all the time?
And why am I sitting here
finding myself missing you
*and your smile?
lisa Mar 2016
July 8, 2015

Thank you
For with you my gleam
and gray days turned into fairy tale;
For with you,
My pain is at ease,
And I can finally breathe again
*Thank you.
lisa Mar 2016
July 19, 2015

"You deserve to be with the best, and I am not the best for you. You deserve someone who is prudence and just, not someone like me who is messed up and ****** up. You deserve to be happy. And I will always be happy for you.... Even if it's not me who can make you happy--but someone else."

Good bye, Hanna
Ease my pain
For I will endure
the days that i'll see you,
*loving somebody else.
lisa Mar 2016
August 4, 2015

Out of reach

I saw you from afar
And iv'e never felt
this urge to kiss someone
and tell them
*"You are wonderful."
lisa Mar 2016
December 31, 2015

From the moment you stand
and walk from the bus
I saw you outside the window;
standing; your hair was firm
and your eyes were searching

And I looked up,
saw that you faded.
And as I return my eyes to nowhere
I once think,

How much I love the
way you walk

and the way your shadow beams
How much I love the way
your eyes lit up and see;

How much I love you,
And how much
I look forward to

the day
*I'll see you again.
lisa Mar 2016
August 22, 2015

Hold me

In the midst of cold air and rain we sat beside each other
I put my head on your shoulder;
closed my eyes--savoring and holding
to each second of this moment

After a while

You held my hand;

And suddenly my breathing stopped and
my heart skipped a beat,

I felt a tingling in my stomach and
my heart is pounding and unstable;

Your skin on mine felt comforting and just;
your hand on mine felt like it was made
for each other--like it was meant to be
held by yours.

And for the first time in my life I felt,
that time stood still and stopped,
The noise became quiet and everyone faded,
Like there's nothing.... But just
the two of us

"Is this for real?" I utter, and as I open my eyes
I saw you beside me and your hand
in mine;

And I wished for you to hold me,

For always,
*And never let go.
lisa Mar 2016
August 29, 2015

You kissed me,
And I thought I was driven
To a place iv'e never been before.

You hugged me,
And all of my broken pieces
were squeezed back together.

Suddenly all of my pain faded
And I said to my mind,

*"Hanna, I love you..."
lisa Mar 2016
September 4, 2015

"I always want to thank you for what you've given me.
Time is still long, i'm not sure if you'll still be by my side in the years
that will come, or whether you'll get tired of me too.
But right now, all I want to say is thank you...
*For the every minute and hour you've always given me."
lisa Mar 2016
October 25, 2015

What in the world did I do to have someone like you?

You are my light,
The reason why I live and survive
You were my strength;
The reason why I look forward
To every sunshine

The reason why I find happiness in
every moment;
The reason why my hope
in this cruel world is built.

*What in the world did I do to have someone like you?
lisa Apr 2016
You are my home,
Shelter of my strength,
The ones I keep coming back to,
Zone of my comfort.
lisa Apr 2020
To love you now means to love you from distance
My eyes swelling,
Heart desolate and longing
For the sound of your voice,
Warmth of your embrace

In the midst of despairing days,
Dreary nights
And sorrowful worries
Here, I love you from afar

In loving you there is no tomorrow;
Only today
If the world crushes on a beam of light in this moment,
Will I ever see you again?
lisa Dec 2019
I am not yours and you are not mine.
You belong to someone else.
But you're here, by my side, and in this cold and rainy night we embrace
the warmth of each other's presence.

Thank you.

Thank you for giving me the chance to be in this moment.

I know this won't happen again in the future, that's why I am truly grateful.

I love you.
lisa Apr 2020
The world was not prepared to meet me.
My mother listened to soldiering footsteps; not to my inner cries.
Ears were deafened, and hearts were clamped down on.
I was conceived in double darkness; my fingers formed in midnight and stars.

My father ran away without plans of coming back.
My house was shattered inside my mother's womb.

I fell away from earth like wings made of flesh,
Fevered and forgotten.
They sifted through my mother's body and did not find me.
I was nothing but nothing died.
I died in the deaths of many people.
I died in many dyings.
lisa Dec 2019
In this society, the beautiful is more loved                
Held so dearly.                
Oh how difficult it is to hide                
The unlovely                
and ill favored sight.
lisa Apr 2016
And after all the fights
The pain;
The loneliness;
The guilt;
The hate.
At the end of the day I will
find myself
wanting to be with you
And love you
more than
I ever did before.

— The End —