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LJ Jul 27
Hi.

I don't know why I just felt like writing to you today. It's 4:39 AM, and it's funny how I just re-read the last conversation we had, even though the only thing left is what you said.

Well, I'm writing to say that I've finally healed. I can finally say this, that I've completely healed. And with this, I wanna say (from the bottom of my heart) that I'm sorry. I said plenty of hurtful words that you don't deserve. You've been kind to me, you were there when I needed someone to listen, you became a friend to me. A true friend, and what did I give back in return? Pain. There's no enough sorry to remove the sins I did to you. I'm still bothered by what I did actually. I kept saying to myself that that's the only way that I can forget, but it's funny how up until now I can't forget. Maybe it's karma for me. That I can't forget a person that made me feel special. So, I apologize once again.

It's really funny how after six months there's still no changes in my life. I'm still stuck in my room. The words I said before, like how I would like to talk to you again after six months, I was hoping that my life would be better. But yep, after six--no seven actually, I still am here, stuck. And I still can't trust other people, and the person I've thought when I'm not okay and I'm in a fight with my bf, is you. You're the only friend I've considered in this life. But, I hope that soon I can meet other people who I can trust the same thing as how I trusted you.

And I also wanna say, even though it's ironic and hypocrite of me to say, that I hope you're happy. I hope you're smiling. I hope you have someone to tell your small and trivial things again. From the very bottom of my heart, I hope you're smiling genuinely. And I hope those people you trust and keep won't betray or leave you.
LJ Mar 15
"You sound like the absence of chaos."
- Musa (Fate: The Winx Saga)
LJ Feb 3
Isang tula na para sa'yo.

May isang manunulat na nagsimulang maghanap ng bagong panulat,
Matapos itapon ang mga nakaraang panulat.

Sa kanyang paghahanap, marami ang kanyang nahanap,
Isang panulat na galing sa isang masakit na nakaraan,
Isang panulat na nagbibigay kasiyahan
At isang panulat na delikado gamitin.

Pero sa lahat nang kanyang nahanap,
May isang panulat na nagpapadama ng kakaibang pakiramdam,
Isang pakiramdam na may kakayahang mag-sulat ng kwentong aakma sa isang pahina
Ang pahina kung saan tinutukoy ang estado ng manunulat.

Halos lahat ng panulat na nahanap ng manunulat
Ay ayaw niya itong mawala
Ayaw niya itong pakawalan
Ayaw niya itong ipagbenta sa iba.

Pero itong panulat na kasalukuyan niyang ginagamit sa isang pahina,
Itong panulat na ito ay kakaiba
Dahil sa, handa itong ibigay ng manunulat sa iba
Handa siyang mawala ito,
Hangga't nagagawa nito ang kung anong nararapat.
March 7, 2020.
Stumbled upon something on my notes. Forgot who I wrote this for?
LJ Jan 31
she needs his logical sense
to be able to make her feet stay on the ground
he needs her emotional side
to be able to see the world, without being scared
LJ Jan 28
now,
the plane's taking off
starting anew
focusing on the passengers it has,
not looking back again.
LJ Jan 28
you never happened.
LJ Jan 25
stop trying to include me in your world
i never am, and never will be.
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