Oh, my dear,
Come to me.
Hear my screams,
Set me free.

I'm trapped,
Inside my mind.
I haven't snapped,
But I've gone blind.

Help me see,
I've lost my way.
You won't believe,
What I'm about to say.

I'm stuck inside,
Once more.
I can't be your bride,
You'll find me on the floor.

I lost my voice,
When I needed care.
I had a choice,
It wasn't a dare.

I've no more air,
I took my last breath,
But to you I swear,
I'll see you after death.

Four walls
A roof
And those days waiting for your calls

500 days
And you're still not here
You said always
But it's been over a year

First it was Thanksgiving
Then it was Christmas
I feel guilty
For being unforgiving
But you chose to miss this

I'm not the only one
We all shed tears
We hide it in the sun
And we'll hide it for years

You left us here
You went alone
You chose to disappear
Now we're all grown

Please come back home

*Written May 15, 2013

Would you hear me,
If I screamed in your ear?

Come inside my mind tonight,
Will you love me in the morning?

I''m falling into an abyss.
Catch me if you can, and
Give me one last kiss.

I've already said good-bye,
Did you hear me?
I feel like I can fly.
I feel so free.

If you wait around forever,
I'll surely bring you down.
A promise of forever,
When you start to drown.

I've started descending.
Too far deep,
There's no defending.

I'll be your angel,
I'll watch over you dear.

I started drowning,
Without a warning.

*Written on May 15, 2013

Don’t get too close
You’ll crumble
It’s not the life she chose
But she doesn’t grumble

You’ll turn pale
You’ll become ash
This isn’t a tale
You’ll be gone in a flash

If you get near
You have a last request
Steer clear
Or death will infest

She’ll choose your fate
If you take another stride
She’ll find the right bait
And a grave she’ll provide

I warned you
I wasted my breath
Everything she touches
Turns to death

In bed we lay
We don’t speak
I don’t pray
Please don’t freak

I won’t beg on my knees
I won’t justify my sins
I won’t say please
And I won’t sing hymns

I don’t understand this hell
But I don’t need god
I can excel
Without that fraud

I’m sweet as can be
But stand for my rights
I want to be free
Not bound by unseen sights

Not everyone will concur
And I don’t really care
But if you must infer
Of no god am I aware

From the very first day
I had to have you
You looked my way
And I just knew

Your smile caught my attention
Your words drew me in
You left me in suspension
Now I’m happier than I’ve ever been

I’ll never leave your side
I’ll never hide away
Even if you died
I would never betray

I’m here for good
I’ll never leave
Like a good wife should
I won’t decieve

Take this as a dedication
Of my love to you
I have no hesitation
When I promise my love to you

I am so elated
No more sorrow
My scars have faded
I have a tomorrow

I was trapped
I was petrified
My life was undiscoverable
My life, you electrified

One smile
One look
More more dial
My breath you took

Forever and more
I’m no longer distraught
I have something to adore
In more than a thought

They’re broken
She can no longer fly
She spoke the unspoken
Everyone asked why

She held up her head
When her world was crashing down

She was brave
She stood tall
We watched her cave
We watched her fall

She bled and bled
Without a frown

We don’t understand
She had such grace
She ruled this land
She left this place

What a catastrophe
Such a surprise

She carried beauty
Why did she leave
This wasn’t her duty
Now we grieve

She lived with agony
We didn't see it in her eyes

Everybody sings
We wish she had woken
Her wings
They’re now broken

My dreams are better than reality
Don't wake me
Turn away from your morality
Leave my body be

For me there was no hope
Don't wake me
I just couldn't cope
The light I finally see

Maybe I'm with a god
Maybe I'm in a hell
Maybe I was a fraud
I'll never tell

Dry those tears
Don't wake me
I've had me years
Say good-bye to the lifeless me

I don't know where I'm going
Don't wake me
My blood has stopped flowing
Bury me under an oak tree

A force so hard
And colder than cold
No matter how you guard
It'll make a building fold

You can try to run
You can try to hide
There'll be no sun
You'll go down with the tide

The eye is suppose to be calm
But this one is full of rain
You can try to recite a psalm
But you'll only feel pain

No one can save you now
It's time to feel the hurt
Take your last bow
And fall to the dirt

The anger you couldn't contain
Has caused you endless rain
This isn't a normal hurricane
It's filled with pain

Tell me you love me
You don't know what tomorrow brings
The sun isn't free
So treasure the little things

Find the light
At the end of the tunnel
Don't take flight
Your happiness, don't pummel

You can't dwell on the past
Keep your eyes straight
Moments will pass you fast
Just believe in fate

The hourglass is glued down
That's a fact
Don't frown
Keep that smile in tact

Time is permanent
If you're alive
You're fortunate
But you need to thrive

Blood pouring out
No need to stare
Do you have any doubt
They didn't care

You can say it'll be alright
You can say things will change
But I don't see a light
And everything looks strange

I'm too far gone
There's no turning back
There will be no dawn
My screen is already black

My heart turned cold
My emotions I tossed
My soul I sold
With my fingers crossed

You talk
I don't listen
You wanna walk
You have my permission

You don't own me
You don't make my rules
I am free
Not one of your fools

I don't hear the words
Coming out of your mouth
You speak in herds
And you're heading south

When you speak
My ears go numb
I don't hear a squeak
Not even an um

I wish you would disappear
Just leave today
Because in the end
The less I hear
The less you say

He lives under my bed
And he sleeps on the couch
Even when he's fed
He's still kind of a grouch

He'll take one at a time
Or maybe two or three
He won't pay a dime
He thinks they're free

He hasn't a name
But I call him Bob
He thinks it's a game
When my pens he does rob

He hasn't any manners
He doesn't say please
He takes my pens from my planners
And then he flees

What does he look like
If only he would ask
I wish he would go on strike
And take off that mask

When you're not here
And it's too heard to bear
When I have something to fear
And you're not there

I hold on tight
I close my eyes

I wish on a star
I hear your voice
But you're too far

The rears I fight
The distance I despise

You're in my heart
Time apart is rough
I can't stand to be apart
This pillow isn't enough

When I couldn't be found
You found me
When I frowned
You were the only one who could see

You broke down my walls
You burned my past
You heard my desperate calls
And for my hand you asked

What is your fascination
I'm no vacation
I'll cause chaos
And a little self-deprivation

What's inside of me
Let's run this town
Why in my do you believe
I'm destined to drown

You'll see my flaws
You'll want to leave
Don't put this love on pause
But why did you choose me?

Is anybody out there
Are you stuck in the cold
Are you reaching for air
Don't you dare fold

Do you need somebody for you
Can you breathe
I am here for you
Come find me

If you're scared
Just please, hold on
If no one has cared
It is I you can count on

I'll be your protector
I'll be your friend
I won't be your objector
I won't leave when it's the end

I'm only a stranger
Trust me if you dare
I won't put you in danger
I promise, I care

Stand atop their graves
You're king now
Turn their souls to slaves
Make them bow

Show them their darkest days

Find a reason
Just make believe
They committed treason
Make them grieve

Don't let them see the suns rays

Tears to mist
Where they lay
They'll raise a fist
But make them pay

The pain doesn't cease
The blood won't stop pouring
In my palm, a permanent crease
From the blade that I carry

I don't trust myself
Neither should you
I'll turn my back
I'll turn away from you

No bandage can cover
No pill can hold
You'd like to be my lover
But I don't think you can handle

You want me to share
My entire life story
But there should be a rating
Because it's kind of gory

I'll try to open my heart
But I can't make and promises
This time I'll be smart
Because my wounds are so deep

Beaten and abused
***** and confused
With the promise of forever
The promise of love

I carry this load
I carry it to you
My wounds you sewed
My skies you made blue

They still haunt me
I'm still in pain
Please, set me free
I'm living in vain

I fought for the good
I died from the bad
If only you understood
If only a tad

I'm beyond repair
Please don't stare
Be my savior
Be my everything

I can't let go
I'm in too deep
I'm just a doe
But I took a leap

I called for you
You came running

You grabbed me close
I opened up
My feelings you did expose

My smile won't fade
This love won't end

We are a team
Feel the rush
We'll reign supreme
This isn't a crush

Perfectly painted
Oh so white
Those boys just fainted
Keep those **** tight

Perfect skin
With the perfect tan
Keep up your chin
They'll become a fan

You don't need love
Only fame
You'll rise above
They'll know your name

Bat those eyes
Watch them fall
Hear their cries
You make them crawl

Just remember
The Hollywood Pose
You're the next contender
Teeth, ****, and toes

They'll check my wrist
They'll look me in the eyes
I'll throw in a twist
They won't check my thighs

It'll be easier to cover
My ***** little secret

So easily hidden
No one will ever know
I've done the forbidden

I don't need a jacket
I wear pants everyday

When they see the blood
I'll blame it on my time
The blood will scud
My scars will be sublime

Leave the door open
When you walk through it
We are broken
Earlier we should've quit

You really should've listened
I told you my thoughts
My heart I stiffened
Because you took cheap shots

Leave it open wide
I want to watch you leave
I've cried and cried
But this time I won't grieve

I want to make sure you're gone
I've nothing left to say to you
Hurry it's almost dawn
Leave before the sky turns blue

Leave it open please
This is wasting time, although
I don't want to feel the breeze
But I have to watch you go

I found your clothes
And your little pink lunchbox
Why was it you they chose
Of you, nobody talks

How old were you
What was your name
I wish I knew
Who was to blame

I hope there wasn't pain
I hope it didn't last long
Maybe your name was Jane
Did you see them come along

Why do they do this
They take peoples lives
Take a girl from bliss
Using their knives

I hope it's better up there
Away from those woods
What happened wasn't fair
I wish it was me, instead, in the woods

Go cry in the rain
Go live out that cliche
Show the world your pain
Take a minute to pray

Bloodshot your eyes

Nobody hears your cries
Believe those lies

You cry so unattractively
You're breathing so hard
Change your mood drastically

Confuse the dead
Smile instead

Look for the good times ahead

Turn it around
Show the world your pain
Get off the ground
Cry in the rain

Will I ever get it right
You shove it all in my face
All day and all night
My mistakes I can't erase

Up is down
Black is white
I'm not allowed to frown
I'm not allowed to fight

I slip
I fall
I trip
I crawl

I try so hard
Only to fall flat
My body is scarred
From when the blood spat

We've had this chat
I have to begin again
I feel like a rat
I just can't win

I want to show my body off
Oh so naked and free
Watch those boys *******
Showing skin high above the knee

I want to feel their touch
Feel love in those minutes
Get to kissing and such
Here there are no limits

I want to be an icon
I want that spotlight
Be played like a pawn
Even if it's not right

I want to see their eyes
When they slip inside
They'll treat me like a prize
I'll never become a bride

This is my fantasy
I won't be a bore
I'll learn their anatomy
I want to be a *****

Hate me now
Before it's too late
Don't take that vow
I'm just unwanted weight

You'll soon learn
All I do is damage
Have some concern
I'll take advantage

Of course these aren't my lines
Only what I've been told
But look at all the signs
I'm no better than mold

Just stay away
It's for your own good
I'll only betray
With the devil I stood

I'm a waste of space
I don't know why, just because
Forget my face
Everyone else does

Give me too much
And I will abuse
My stomach I'll clutch
I'll end up on the news

Keep them away
Lock the cabinet
I'll end my day
My action is passionate

Those you'd better hide
But I will find
All I've done is cried
Do you mind

I want them
I won't stop
I need them
I need another to pop

Leave them out
And I will gobble
Don't you doubt
Where's that bottle

We found her note
This was unexpected
It had just one quote

She thought life was worthwhile
Or so it seemed
With a smile
She always beamed

Never we thought her
We just couldn't believe
The clues we didn't infer
We should've lifted her sleeve

It's hard to say good-bye
Why didn't she just talk
We could've held her high
But instead she chose to walk

We found her note
"This isn't worth it."
That's all she wrote

They threatened to **** me
I wish you were there
They wanted to **** me
Why weren't you there

I needed protection
I tried to ignore
I needed your affection
They pushed me to the floor

I cut so deep
So many pills I took
I still weep
At my wrist don't look

All of this I hide
Where are you now
The blood hasn't dried
I cut just now

I need you
Where is my father
Days left I have few
This is your daughter

I can show my pain
I can shed my tears
Watch it go down the drain
While exploiting my fears

My eyes so red
My throat so tight
Wishing I was dead
The urge I fight

I emerge from my tomb
Into a dim cold room
The hot steam chased away
The depression of the day

No one will ever know
What exactly I face
While standing under the flow
Of God's given grace

I can fight the tide
I'll fail when I fly
And I still have to ride
But I can still cry

Scatter my ashes
You can't keep them here
I know you've got me in stashes
Just let go my dear

Keep our memories
Say good-bye to my body
Please be at ease
Say good-bye to my body

I'll save you a place
Up here in heaven
I'm surrounded by grace
Up here in heaven

No need to worry
I found my way home
Clear your eyes so blurry
There's no need to roam

Scatter my ashes
You can't keep them here
I know you've got me in stashes
Just let go my dear

It witnesses my pain
It masks my tears
Watches blood flow from my vein
Implants my brain with fears

It chases away the light
I want to escape
It gives me quite a fright
This feels like a *******

It lays me down
With my tears
Me, it tries to drown

It is my superior
It chooses my fate
I am inferior
It has the right bait

I'll never be lonely
With it by my side
It saves my life, if only
My happiness it will override

I'm lying on the floor
I can't stop crying
I've locked the door
I feel like dying

My tears are still hot
I want to see my wrist bleed
I don't want it to clot
Just poor at a slow speed

Can you see my pain
You can try to phone
I found the perfect vein
I won't stop 'till I see bone

The blade, if I can reach
I'll give in
Won't practice what I preach
I have to sin

I can't move
I can see the bone
The blade, can you remove
You left me alone

Get on your knees
Bite your tongue
Remember to say please
Because I'm holding a gun

You should know by now
I make the rules
Don't question how
Arguing is for fools

Watch me move
Just sit back down
I've nothing to prove
I run this town

You can try to fight
But I've locked you up
You won't see the light
When you act like a pup

Mind your p's and q's
Don't make a sound
You won't end up on the news
Your body won't be found

Try to find me
My lifeless body
Bury me under the tree
Look through eyes so foggy

Bury me fast
Bury me deep
My body won't last
Our memories you'll keep

Remember how I laugh
Remember my smile
Speak on my behalf
Bury me under a mile

Everything will be okay
I'm right here with you
It's just another day
You'll pull through

I am ready to say bye
You must agree
I won't cry
Bury me

You treat me like a *****
But no more
I'm actually quite a bore
What do you want me for

You look into my eyes
You ignore all my cries
You give me all these lies
And you wear a disguise

Not today
Just look away
I don't want to play
I'm not a buffet

You drive me mad
You treat me like a fad
You don't care if I'm sad
I'm sure there's more I could add

I'm not a sensation
This isn't a negotiation
Find a new temptation
I'm not an open invitation

All of my attempts have failed
Everyone can see
My plans were so detailed
But I still have my afternoon tea

Could I give it one more go
Would anybody even care

I know I am a mess
I've tried to be better
I'll just pick my favorite dress

I'll try to leave tomorrow
I hope it works this time

Would it matter at all
I'm on my knees
I know how to crawl

No need to remind me
I'll give it one more try
I'll become one with the sea
Maybe then I'll fly

I'm saturated with the thoughts
I'm soaked to the core
My brain the pain clots
Just treat me like a chore

Leave me in the sun
I'll dry out this disease
Don't let me have any fun
I've been living on my knees

Don't lend me any help
Let me fend for myself
If you hear me yelp
Get the gun off the shelf

Find a spot in the front
For all the world to see
I won't pull a stunt
I won't try to flee

I have not learned my mistake
I still try to die
Push me till I break
Just leave me to dry

What if I showed you
Could you even process
The truth you would chew
My life you would try to bless

I would show you in privacy
You would scream it to the population
My tears I will choke silently
While I stand in humiliation

Why am I different
You couldn't handle the truth
You are just ignorant
My life you don't need to sleuth

I do what I want
I live my own life
Why do you taunt
I'm holding a knife

Why did you fight
My sadness grew
I'm leaving tonight
I'm too much for you

You're just as messed up
I don't know which way to turn
I can't find my way
Which bridge do I burn

I search for the light
I only find the dark
I hide deep in the night
I hide from the suns first spark

I pray for a solution
My head is spinning
I'm stuck in a delusion
My life I'm sinning

I seek out the truth
Now you see my pain
Depression devoured my youth
My happiness jumped on a train

I know where I belong
I know what I want
Which way do I turn
Your memories I'll haunt

I can't stop the rain
I can't stop fate from calling
I can hide the pain
I can start crawling

It's hard to hold on
It's hard to stay strong
It's easy to move on
It's easy to say so long

I find myself in question
I find myself in confusion
I lose myself in an illusion
I lose myself in depression

I will forget my peers
I will forget the time
I will remember the years
I will remember the crime

I am a reject
I am tough
I am not perfect
I am not strong enough

Fill yourself with energy
Get ready to fight
Don't put yourself in jeopardy
Run from the night

Listen for the moment
You have the power
Find your opponent
Wait for the hour

You can do this
You have the tools
Close your eyes
Show those fools
Seal it with a kiss

Feel the rush
You can't get enough
Don't fall at first blush
Stay tough

It will pull you in
You don't need a knight
You can win
Run from the night

She is so strong
Not afraid to admit
When she does wrong
She will not throw a fit

She is tough
But oh so sweet
Happiness she will bluff
But never will she admit defeat

She stands so very tall
You won't see her fall

She won't let you see her tears
She has up a guard
She won't shoe you her fears

Even when she can't take anymore
She will stand above that floor

She can find the light
In the sadness of the day
She won't give into the night
She ignores the grey

She stands above the rest
She won't frown
She is blessed
She won't breakdown

I put it in
I turn in skyward
The world talks
But I haven't heard
I raise my chin

They all keep talking
I make a move
And they start gawking

I don't need a reason
But I have a good amount
They think I treason
Too many to count

Let's look ahead
Will they still wonder
What if I'm dead

I won't shout
You won't talk
I'm marked with silence
The world I block
I just shut it out

I'm so far away
I'm not coming home
Not today

I found a better place
Somewhere I can smile
I just need my space
For a long long while

Here I am content
Here I hear no lies
Here I see the light
Here I can vent
Here I need no disguise

We don't need to speak
Here I belong
Forever in a week
You were wrong

No need to roam
You won't find me
And I'm not coming home

In my mind if I
Take one more step towards you
You say bye to me

Hearts break way too fast
I need some medication
If I can't have you