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19.8k · Mar 2015
How To Disappear Completely
Natasha Mar 2015
No one loves me
I'm not worth a single drop of blood

It would be wasted
If you spilt it for me

And dry your tears
For I'm the only one that has to cry

This time,
So there's no use shedding them for me

Sometimes, I wish I knew
How to disappear completely

So no one would remember my voice
Have no memories with me

I feel like life
Would merrily move along

If I were just simply
Gone
                     Gone

    Gone.
The titles also a radiohead song. But it doesnt seem like a bad idea. Erase everyones memories of me and just leave. Fall back into the everlong seas of black unconcious and then hopefully to the end of time- the extraterrestrial, super inconcievable meaning of life. I believe we find it when we die. I dont even know, I dont think anyone loves me so its about that time.
17.7k · Mar 2018
Why I Write
Natasha Mar 2018
I could never tell you
exactly what's going on inside my head,
so I'll write instead.
Drown my thoughts in paper & lead.
Keep my hands alive,
and my expression dead.
9.4k · Apr 2014
Country Sunrise
Natasha Apr 2014
old winds blow through the fields of wheat
  
    my name
    above all things
    it whispers softly
    calling me to free my spirit

& run forever through the open landscape until I find my horizon.
8.0k · Mar 2014
How To Love A Writer
Natasha Mar 2014
the problem with
being a poet in love,
is that you savour
& trust each word your lover has
without  question.

we are simply in love
with bare literature,
spoken from the lips of someone we hold
in higher regard
than ourselves sometimes.

when you love a poet
each word you utter,
should be a piece of artwork

each sentence,
a highly thought out structure of awe and beauty to leave us seeping
in the warmth of your voice
caressing such fine words

so when deciding that you love someone,
who writes or reads
fill their souls with beauty, memories & truth especially,
for a poet's heart breaks at ease.
thoughts.
6.9k · Apr 2014
Brother
Natasha Apr 2014
Past years reminding me of ancient ideas, wasted hope on young lustful love
which now translates to the tune of reluctant,
senseless adoration as I watch
my first birdie take flight
and spread his wings like a majestic eagle in the sky.

I wave goodbye.

You know I'll always remember
the first summer we spent together.

In the good times, and through all the bad
concern and dim hopes were all we had
but then, she heard wings of all sorts
scattered at her front door flocking
My birdie came knocking
stopped the boat on uneasy waters from rocking.

Opened up his tormented soul for me to see
and asked every graciously "forgive me?"
I pleaded, "but it was I who'd sent you away!"
and it still haunts me to this day
that I hurt my best friend
and thinking of those tainted sheets in which I lay.

But you told me not to worry, not to fret
the past is the past,
so lets start off where we finished last
we were ******, carefree and naive  
we knew no greater truth than hair dye & ****
And simple things,
like paintings, a smile and teddy bears
were all we needed.

But I'm here today to prove
That I will always stay true
To give guidance and support all the way through
Ex-Lover,
Best Friend,
Brother
I love you.
this is dedicated to a friend,
I've removed his name from this dedication but at this moment in time that's how I felt about him. And has shaped me as a person I am today. For the record, I don't love him. Maybe, in a corner of my heart I will always care. But, too many tears, and too many wasted hours have gone into trying to make some kind of friendship work again with him. So I've given up. Thank you. (02/15/17)
6.9k · Nov 2013
Taurus
Natasha Nov 2013
A joker  
A partner
A friend    
A lover (?)  

Suave                
Too copacetic    
For even you      
To handle            

Yet                                          
When I am in your presence
I cannot help                            
But feel                                        

The inferno                                        
That radiates                                        
Through our bodies                              
    In astonishing harmony                        

  So much so                                                    
That a single graze of your skin on mine    
Sets the entirety of my figure                          
A blaze
5.6k · Dec 2014
Honeymoon
Natasha Dec 2014
These little broken wings, petals almost- reside in the pit of my stomach. Dead perhaps- and with that my heart plumets.
Feather soft, tiny sighs
Dormant little butterflies
But,
When he kissed me
I felt that static surge of electricity,
how could this come to be?
That now everything
Is alive
Inside of me.
He's so cute. I've got the biggest crush haha
5.5k · Jan 2014
White
Natasha Jan 2014
Tiny pairs of wings in colours of lavender & mint
flutter over rose chiffon, hanging over the curtains of my window

Outside, the world settles slowly in the white night. It's most unbearable because I recall that such lovely creatures have no place
in this stoic wasteland at all.

There is no warm wind to lift their feather-light  wings,
nor flowers in which they may sip on
delicately

Jack Frost would nip at their tiny bodies
Father Winter would freeze their wings in motion

The cold winter wind would whip their breaths away. A sunrise pattern on the snow, littered with colourful decay.

Broken butterflies-
frozen; for the world on display

I still collect my voice with a tone of surprise, that they continue to flutter by inside next to this bed in which I lay.

For without your arms wrapped around my waist
the air in here is much the same,

As what lies beyond the window pane
4.0k · Nov 2013
Pisces
Natasha Nov 2013
A moments shy smile,
Two guppies intertwined
Crafty hand work
With something swimming viciously through your
Dark eyes

I long only to ask;
Assist you
As you've done to me
But I know you'd only close me out
Bashful Mr Pisces

Weakness is not defined by the admittance
To not being strong
For I've seen terror and sorrow
In your gaze
For far too long

My concerns and listening soul
Will be postponed until next week
For I cannot bear to see
Your frosted eyes melting
&
The Ice Queen making you weep
3.7k · Dec 2013
Cocaine
Natasha Dec 2013
You set free
Electrified butterflies
When you shut my lips
With your finger tip
3.4k · Jul 2015
trouble in paradise
Natasha Jul 2015
when I'm with you time slips by
all the worries that swim viciously
sink to the depths of my mind.

& when I'm without,
there leaves an awful drought
exposing the terrors on the dry land
valleys of dead thought trout.

I think without reason,
and reason without thought
cannot diminish or swallow
the bitter aching knot.

there's too many clouds in
my already crowded mind
all the hours passing aimlessly
& still I'm pressed for time

without you here
afraid I'm going to suffocate
beneath all my senseless fears.

afraid to lose all & everyone
I hold dear

for I miss the touch that
dams my sticky tears

I miss the soul
that helps mine be clear.
No beautiful landscape or time of vacation can help my aching heart. You're a million miles away and I can still hear your heartbeat replaying in my brain like a broken tape.
3.2k · Jan 2018
good pain
Natasha Jan 2018
pain,
pain is a rush
pain lets me
feel things
I normally don't.
I'm a sucker for it
bruise me
beat me
take advantage of me.
pain flows through my nerves
into my brain and lets me
forget all of
the things
weighing down my day.
pain gets me off
pain makes me lose myself
in euphoria and feeling
and being
human in a raw
uncensored
regal sense
now if only
I could find somebody
willing to give me
what I want.
****.... so hard to find a dom
Natasha Mar 2015
As most of my older followers may know, throughout the last 4 years I hadn't gone a year without doing some sort of chemical drug- until this year. From the time I was 14 to 18 I mixed and sampled the following: (in order) tylonel 3, oxycodiene, MDMA- molly, "m" this drug is a mind killer, it ***** with your serotonin and dopamine levels the most, not super addictive in terms of ****** reactions but mentally it definitely sticks with you, for you will never feel as happy as the first time you try this- my #2 of the never ever try this. I will be a year clean of it on October 30th 2015, GHB- aka *******, *******- oh lordy where do I start. Perhaps with the fact that almost all the coke you buy is cut with laxatives or tylonel. I've suffered the greatest reprecussions physically and psychologically both immediately and long term from this drug. On this drug I experienced stimulant psychosis, cravings, shakes, twitches, believing that bugs were on me, dermotellemania, dramatic weight loss and my skin and hair were terrible. After I had become clean I noticed I still had no appetite, bowel and bladder problems, and craving similiar to those of nicotine. This is my #1- STAY THE **** AWAY FROM THIS, its a silent, slow killer and it's not worth the money you pay for it, $80 (per gram) on laxatives? No thanks. I will be a year clean of this on June 25th 2015, LSD, oxycodin, ****, heroine & dmt.

Personally, things like marijuana, psychobasilic mushrooms, LSD & DMT are still fine with me- I limit my LSD & DMT intake to once every 6 months (if that) and I've found no reprecussions from doing these drugs (yet!).
I was mostly majorly addicted to stimulants and I would advise anyone who wants to not **** up their life to stay away from any stimulant. They really don't benefit you in anyway- the high gets old, the aftermath isn't worth it. I have major mood and mental illness issues that I'm still dealing with to this day- I refuse to take any form of medication such as prozac because I'm afraid I'll get addicted and be on it for the rest of my life. I'm writing this in hopes that anyone who is using, or thinking of using please gets the notion out of their head that they need this ****- it's not cool anymore, its risky and it ruins your body by the end of it.
The reason I chose to stop was because I realized the fact I mentioned above, that it does absolutely no good in the long haul. There are so many better things (better, safer drugs even) then stimulants. I also met a man who supports me and helps me with the craving days I still get at least 1 or twice every month. And I've started to be happy with myself and my body. I want to be healthy. I want to be fit. I want to be happy and carefree- all these drugs do is chain you.

If you read this all the way through, you're lovely.

I hope this helps someone, somewhere out there.
Ahhh my little story of how ****** up I was as a teenager haha gettin older and wiser
3.0k · Jan 2014
January Thaw
Natasha Jan 2014
I am but a single
dry dead leaf
laying beneath an endless willow tree
around the waters bend
close to the toadstool pow-wows
only inhabited by the faeries.

& the moon- she still shine,
captured but by a sphere, yet so free
her light may breathe
a chilling, frigid touch
between the memories you
have buried so deep.

So please do not fret your wondrous mind
over all of your insecurities,
though she may shine with a chilling reminder
I promise that in your eyes
a beautiful soul
is all she sees.

As my mind races I feel
I am unable to describe
the exact emotion you
have gently
injected into my mind.
My eyelids grow heavy
my minds afloat to space
all that is left in my world as I know it,
is the perfection on your face

      You see darling,
      I am a hija de la luna;
      the stars will align with
      Castor & Pollux
      Cancer, Aphrodite, & Fortuna.
      They greet me as old friends,
      join me in my nights of fantasy.
      tell me darling what do these strange constellations mean?

Oh how I pity thy cataracts
eyes white & glassy
but I promise the warmth will melt your frozen gaze
& in time, you will see.

       The horizon shifts as I do to you,
      how long do you wish to be at sea?

Alas, you know my poison  
doubt seeps into my skin
like an 80 patch.
Through thick & thin,
even on the sorest of feet
I will skip merrily along your path.

      Round my head I gaze,
      The sky has been stained
      with fuchsia & clementine
      among the blues.
      tell me again, how may I find your presence within the hues?

Wrap yourself within my blanket
of ease & security.
Trust me with your life or not,
for I want to be
there, when you most
need me

      You cannot help
      you are a broken bird
       I cannot deny my psyche as it worries
      does a dove not care about her nest back home
       when she soars above
       the sea?


Next to the beating arrhythmia
you try hold dear ‘twixt your ribs
my favourite poem of yours has changed
where I will weave a small nest
dream of your lips
& the sound of rain.
2.6k · Aug 2013
Chai
Natasha Aug 2013
Sage & sweet grass

Hand made quilt

Steeped Chai

Dozing sighs

Cool breeze

Life at ease
My life at the moment. Revelling in the pure bliss of simple moments such as this
Natasha Mar 2014
150 down a main road
Ditched the 5'O
*******, angry
Him running his mouth's
the only music playing

Different dealers on hold
Oh baby, please don't lose control

I've gambled makin money (in not so good ways) lots in my time,
& each time I did it, made myself a pretty dime
But this round fella's
This games gettin old
Drop my cards to the table
I'm out
I fold.
Done with dealing for myself at least, go me
2.2k · Aug 2015
.
Natasha Aug 2015
.
You don't care


About the little things



That mean a lot


To me
Natasha Mar 2014
Can   you   explain  theacid  that   runsthroughmyveins

                      wheneverI'mwithyou...


or,
             ­        I    simply       missyou


         When    I     crave     the      sensation  

         of
                   yourskinonmyskin

                                               ­                 vibrationstomytoes

        thetasteofyourmouth
­
                                                     electricitydownbelow

  

                                                         your
                                                         face
                                                     between
                                 my                                             legs


                                                         oh
                                                         his
                                                        t
   ­                                                        o
                                                          n
   ­                                                     g
          ­                                                 e
                                                          is
  ­                                                  gold

     ­ 

      diamonds                             in our                                eyes

                                                handinhand

   ­                                                tohold.


         You

                              cradle  


                                                         close&cherished;

                            my
  

                                                           heartinwhich

                  
                                ­   you stole.
the title means "Nirvana" in tibetan.
exactly the state I feel when I'm with him
2.1k · Jan 2014
Snuff
Natasha Jan 2014
Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence
And leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage
For what resembles rage again


So if you love me let me go
And run away before I know
My heart is just too dark to care
I can't destroy what isn't there
Deliver me unto my fate
If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you


Oh,
My smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know.


I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me
That savour every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your lights
But all of that was ripped apart
When you refused to fight


So save your breath I will not care
I think I've made it pretty clear
You couldn't hate enough to love
Is that suppose to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend
So I could hurt you in the end
I never claimed to be a saint


Oh,
My home was banished long ago
It took the death of hope to let you go.


So break yourself against my stones!
And spit your pity in my soul!
You never needed any help

You sold me out to save yourself!


And I won't listen to your shame

You ran away
you're all the same


Angels lie
to keep control


My love was punished long ago
If you still care
Don't ever let me know.

If you still care
**Don't
Ever
Let
Me
Know
One of my favourite songs.
Slipknot- off of their album All Hope Is Gone
(thanks james!!)
Natasha Mar 2015
No brain
You're a little ******* gnome
Walkin' around all 5'5 of him
Acting like its his game we play

Shutthefuckupyoustupidlittlesonofabitch
You couldn't get respect even if
You actually tried to learn concept
& I truly hope, I know that hurts you

That little piece of pride
Mommy always told you,
you're the apple of her eye, when she cares
& when she doesn't?


You're her little ******* nightmare.


Your father was the love of her life
She swears
But she wouldn't touch him with a 7 foot pole
Again, if she dared

Well I'm letting you know, you little gnome
I've found someone so much better
He actually gives a **** about me
He makes me so much wetter
He's everything I've ever dreamed of

I've left you

High & dry



Choking on my ******* dust.


Her little garden doll
Peeling to reveal that over time
You'll do nothing but sit & rust.

Over the years chipping away the paint
Faster & faster



**Snort & shoot your way to ****
you ******* ****** *******.
Lol just random words about my ex ahaha
1.9k · Jun 2014
I've Gotta Fly
Natasha Jun 2014
Don't think you are
the last standing of
your kind

In the dewy hot springs,
between mountains and valleys
I reside

Today, peering down from
the very top of Everest;
absolutely terrified

No time for hesitation,
I've gotta jump
I've gotta fly
I'm going places I swear xo
1.8k · Aug 2015
Writers Block
Natasha Aug 2015
Lack of

        inspiration


    dedication


                  perhaps everything is


         just caged within.



                        Hard as I try,
  
         wishing to write




    

                but,



         not tomorrow





                              not tonight.
**** hate this
1.8k · Jul 2015
Ireland
Natasha Jul 2015
the days just before spring
just after fall
where the damp and cold grips the air
but summer still sings her
uplifting call.

comfortable outside in
track pants & a sweater
chilling fingers if they are
not woven tightly together.

but oh,
how lovely is the cool breeze
off the ocean?

to just take a minute of the day
between all the daily commotion

to sit and bask
in the salty sweet air.
the air here smells like no other.
1.8k · Jul 2015
Empty Sighde
Natasha Jul 2015
tired head resting upon crisp, clean
white linen pillow cases.
worn muscles enveloped
in the hills and
valleys of plush, cream bedsheets.
aching spine relieved by the firm, comforting pale mattress.

all that is out of place,

is your warm, perfect, lovely,
heavenly smelling, intoxicatingly ****,
more perfect than Michael Angelo
body.
Natasha Feb 2015
Remember that nickname?
Stay where you belong *****
:)
1.7k · Mar 2015
The Red Queen
Natasha Mar 2015
Ever greet
Someone so
Sickly sweet?
Her candy
Apple red
Puckered lips.
Her minty
Fresh white
Glistening teeth.
Her short
Honey combed
Locks of
Angel hair.
Its all
Too much
For me
I swear.
The scent
Of acid
Cotton candy
Penetrates the
Small room.
Innocently dressed
Classically groomed.
With a
Smile that
Says "I
Could just,
Like be
Your bestfriend!
I'll try
To hop
On your
Boyfriends ****
If you
Turn your
Back for
Just one
******* second!"
Call me
A sour
***** but
I hate
The fake
Super sweet
Little *****
That walk
Around like
Theyre the
****, like
They've got
Some god
Given right
To act
Like fake
Crowd pleasing
***** *******
I'll fill
Your face
With bruises
And stitches.
Oii it seems it all the world has  these days are little girls like this. Thank god Im friends with sane people
1.7k · Jun 2013
Agony
Natasha Jun 2013
Pain rocks my body
A dry unrelenting feeling
Make it stop
The hopelessness
In this agony
I dread
1.6k · Dec 2013
Ambitious(less) Lust
Natasha Dec 2013
Riveting, in so many aspects
Yet still you cannot seem to
Not float away from me.
Just like those clouds
in front of your eyes;
Your head dwells in them quite frequently,
Same for the pixie in your psyche,
You've discovered
the mess of her reality
Marking my heart when you sing
Want to mend
my broken wings?
With you, I have no suspicions
But **** baby,
You still lack-                              
**** (re) Ambition
1.6k · Sep 2014
Wednesdays
Natasha Sep 2014
Face like the button on my shirt he undoes with his teeth.

Autumn shortly, middle of the week

Your voice a charming, warm day at the beach.

His eyes chocolate, melting treat-
yet cool to the core

I bet your sugar tastes so sweet.
Love the fall
Natasha Apr 2014
I settle beneath, quilt & blanketed sheets
for another tear-jerking,
heart stopping
conversation.

Between the lines of shared irony, affection disguised
we behave in such tyranny, over what we
could've & would've had in our
lives.

But, it'll all get better, it'll all be okay
I'm here for you whenever you need me, which ever way
tonight, this is what I'll
say:

My eyes well up over the passing thoughts of yesterday
My heart pounds in my chest, my ears scream &
vision starts to sway. How could I have ever let you


                                                      slip away?
oh the irony. the shame. the sorrow. the love. the torture. of the absolute impossibility of my deepest and darkest wishes. my angel.
1.6k · Feb 2014
Subtly Fading Flame
Natasha Feb 2014
I think I'm almost done with the game
comedowns are getting old
the high's not the same.

I need a break from
Benzoylmethylecgonine & Methylenedioxymethylamphetamine
aka
******* & MDMA.

I've grown listless of balancing
Serotonin & Dopamine.

Maybe I'm growing up,
realizing it's time to get clean.

Peace, love, acceptance
& remember friends,
stay green.

xo
written like a true stoner
1.6k · Aug 2015
Peter Pan Syndrome
Natasha Aug 2015
If you drop me,
I ***** easily
Softened by the "*******"
life I once enjoyed.

Waking, consciousness from
dreaming. Swimming,
in the landless sea
my lungs crushed by the
water around me.

It feels like I'm a kid again,
young, unsure, self conscious
struggling to find what I really want
to do with this blessing of life.

Or maybe, I've been stuck
4 years long in this rut
perhaps I have always been awake
& I just never grew up.
Mohmoh the wasted years
Natasha Jan 2014
Captured chills release their
patten of ice light shows
against my skin.

desolate and alone
could my heart call yours home?
sometimes

in these sheets I try
to lay not lie
but it is difficult I find,
to be honest about my mind

I watched the stars from a
mile away
It feels I'm only pulling on what's left
of yesterday

Yet
keep treading
on these open waters
for you are too valuable not to spare

But if you shall sink
like a rusted anchor
in the deep
know I'm already there
1.5k · Jul 2015
Hello Beautiful
Natasha Jul 2015
drift unto

      the seamless abyss


             stars beneath your feet




      grass on your finger tips




                 head heavy




      body light




                                 here today




   gone tonight.


too much

   too soon


      


         nothing to take


               everything to lose.



  
                        I can't ask



                             could never tell you


              so



    goodbye sun,



                hello moon.
ladidadida
1.5k · Aug 2018
stopping the demon
Natasha Aug 2018
paralyzing.
a black hole ******* me in
nausea creeps in waves starting in my stomach
hot then cold
and sweating
I can't get comfortable
I can't bear it.
I gag and *****
until there's nothing left
but something claws me to
dizzying spells anyways.
I cry to spill the fears inside
but none the less they continue to reside.
I travel wearily through the evening
just to find a hopeful feeling
I am met with,
all the more nothing.
so why move? I stay rooted in
a single position,
waiting for it to find me.

but my hearts in my throat and I'm starting to choke
on the nothingness that surrounds me.
I can't breathe,
I find no solace in sleep.
This must be the final chapter.

(II)

I suppose it makes sense,
I'm so broken
beyond repair anyway
what's the point?
my paint is peeling
my walls are cracking
my floorboards creak with every step
I'm a mess
I'm a wreck
no really, save yourself
leave me dead.

you don't have to stay
just do me one last favour?
put a gun to my head
paint the walls with blood and lead
and take my pain away.
you'd probably relish in the fact that you've finally killed the demon inside me, or perhaps in yourself too. Congratulations. two birds, one stone
Natasha Jun 2014
I send my hopes
and universal powers above
hoping you feel
nothing but
the eternal forces of love.

That your tired soul
may rest,
for its eternal age
letting all past pain
of long gone days
fade away.

For every soul that met yours,
and looked eye to eye
opened their souls
and spilled their guts
when they found out you died.

And I,
distant as I seem
hope that somewhere,  somehow
you are following
your dreams.

May his young soul rest in peace
One of my childhood elementary friends (a boy who used to tease me over my curly hair actually) just died today of a drug overdose.
It just so happens, that I saw him by mere coincidence yesterday walking down the street. Mere hours later he would be dead.
Never to ever accidentally encounter that soul again
life is so very very fragile
1.5k · Jul 2015
Untitled
Natasha Jul 2015
everyone




             is






   tired












            of me
1.5k · Feb 2014
Untitled
Natasha Feb 2014
Who knows how do delete poems
written by a boy who said he'd do it as a joke.. and then actually did it. So I have to put it up here haha. He always finds a way to make me laugh.

Update January  21 2015- He's a crazy *** ******* stay away from this one lol.
1.5k · Dec 2015
Ashes
Natasha Dec 2015
You are so much to lose;
and for how I've gained
I'll accept all your burdens,
sorrow and pain;
but is it worth it for you?
with all my mistakes
I know they've caused you

melancholy and disdain.


It's mid-December,

but it feels like spring
such as the world, we are an
odd, complicated thing.


I just can't see you seeping
anything useful from me.
I am the raging forest fire that

mercilessly swept across the trees.


Lovely,

I don't mean to burn you,
I simply try to breathe


I can't help that it's within my nature
to destroy everything I meet


in time
with a heavy laden heart
my love

you'll fall to ashes at my feet.
I don't know what's wrong with me... I don't know what I do wrong... Maybe that's what's wrong with me?
1.5k · Jul 2014
THIS LADY IS A LOVELY WRITER
Natasha Jul 2014
http://hellopoetry.com/syd-forma/

Shes pretty **** awesome :3 and new on this site so welcome her please! show her what hellopoetry is all about :3
1.4k · Jun 2015
Paper Thin Skin
Natasha Jun 2015
honey suckle, babies breath
rosy buds of lifes breast
the sky is blind
the sea is deaf
together, they are
at their best.

evergreens, palm trees
they all look
the same to me
through wind they speak
and sap they bleed
always in beautiful simplicity.

as children get older,
teenagers- they grow colder
she needs a man
at night to hold her
keep her warm

and he, though strong
is weakened from
the long endless nights
where everything broke,
shattered, disintegrated
gone

he needs her gentle touch
to tickle his skin,
fill all the holes
gaping within

just as the sea and sky
and trees laughing in the wind
he needs her
and she needs him.
We all need something
1.4k · Jan 2014
Letter 2: Petals On The Bed
Natasha Jan 2014
Oh,
      how your words drown my tormented soul in
                    nothing but their warm currents,
                            they caress down my neck and rest themselves on my chest
                                              to find my uneven heartbeat nonetheless.

                                                               ­                                        And,
                                                            ­             I regret to inform you
                                      my wants stay hidden with time & space above
                          for I had never imagined,
      that it would be me you to want love

A dream,
     the only comparison I would find suitable to describe you
                                                    one million miles away,
                                                           next time you wander the streets at night
                                                                ­         find my reflection in the puddles
                                                                ­              seeping through your woven fibre shoes

                                                          ­           I find myself hoping,
                                                      not­ to lose you
for that would be a calamity I could not bear
                I would never hear my name on your lips
                                   Or feel your steady hands make their way through my hair

                                                               ­  At the top of your lungs,
                                                      sing­ to me
                    for I long to hear your voice
       & this time,
the waves will carry it close to me

Daisy petals & orchid blooms
          rest tentatively in the concave of my neck
                  a pattern of small petals reveal themselves past my clavicles
                         down my sternum
                               covering the rosy buds atop my soft breast

                                              Sir,
      ­                                  will you brush them away
                
                 with a kiss?
                                                           ­         give me
                                  someone
                                                         to hold
                              give me
                                                    starlit hours,
     seconds,
                   to miss.
1.4k · Oct 2015
just passing by
Natasha Oct 2015
I'm not here
I'm not here
I'm not here


It's just happening
I'm just hurting
Aching, to not feel
the pain.

But,
I'm not here

This isn't real

This isn't happening

Who am I

a weightless soul

drifting by in the sky.
I'm not here
This isn't real
how to disappear
completely
1.4k · Dec 2013
Breathing Underwater
Natasha Dec 2013
I'm choking

                  Gasping

                                    ­I drown

For my lungs collapse in the water
Like my heart interprets your words
My adoration and **** for both
Leaves me breathless.
1.4k · May 2014
Lighthouse
Natasha May 2014
We wander,
beneath the dotted sky,
  the moon illuminates the forest
   of grandfather trees
    beneath our bare feet;
     soft, dewy grass
      and various dampened, scattered leaves.
      
        The still holds, warming spring moisture
          with a faint reminder of this brutal past winter
            with hungry eyes, streets with old, ashy faces pry
              the fog floods all gutters and highways tonight
                it's like navigating through a black hole
                  you have given forth no light
                     &
                       tell
                          me
                          how
                           ­       am I
                                        supposed
                                                  to see
                                                      without­
                                                                ­ any
                                                             ­          insight?
Lost in the night covered sea.
Natasha Jan 2014
Clear your hazel gaze; you are completely submerged in an underwater paradise, suspended in the motions of the current. No, you're not drowning, I've given you enough endearment & sustenance for you to breathe on your own- even in the abyss of my oceanic heart.
Of course, you always knew you could dear.
So smile & sail along the swaying tides of teal, graze my shipwrecks with your gentle hands & kiss along my roughest of reefs. Find a mermaid with an elfish face, maroon hair & red lips to taste. Feel no limitations of world above the surface, staying in this place with you forever would be oh-so perfect. The albatross of our concrete lives, lived out in cities made of glass and steel, would never be found in a place such as this- we are forbidden to sustain ourselves through more of such unhappiness.
For down here, we simply float on.  
We can get high in the waves, and sing all of your songs. For the water lifts all the worries we may have, in times when we are not strong.
You dove into me, simply chipping away at the stoical walls I've fashioned over time. The fortress comparable Alcatraz, I built to keep my demons in and every single soul out. But you, the flighty sea spirit (believe me we are birds of a feather), made your way to my castle among the waves; soaring over all misconceptions & doubts.
needing the ocean. I long. I ****. I love it.
more than anything, I need it
its not done eitherI'm just too tired
1.3k · May 2015
Little Life Lessons
Natasha May 2015
Imagine- the unthinkable
have faith- in the unbelievable
trust in only those who
will truly keep you stable
and honey,
you're unstoppable.
Little things that help me
1.3k · Feb 2014
Colours of the Wind
Natasha Feb 2014
Hand shaky, balancing the easel
Paint brush tight within grip
I've never seen a rainbow
Come and go so quick

It seems as if the rain clouds
Parted only for a moment today
Grey desolates,
but fear not, the colours will make their way

Shoes paint the streets with difference
Among all crowds, the brush flicks
But drop your tools & raise your arms to the sky
For you must paint the wind with your fingertips.
Natasha Dec 2013
In & out
Hearts collide and pound
You've opened my door
For things I never imagined
I could indulge in before
You play at my gates; as we let time escape
Just run away with me babe
Let's just get high & drive  
Into dawn, dusk or the night sky

We are but the typical teenage dream
Living life on the edge
Day by day
Sets our damaged hearts at ease
For I could never imagine living a life more blessed
And happier moments than these; for they are simply timeless.
1.3k · Jan 2014
I, the Estuary
Natasha Jan 2014
I can't seem to see straight
drowning vision, head aches.

I'll let my hands float as I wait
for the canvas of your aura to paint.

Across the open waterfalls
over open tracks, through pay-phone calls.

A small beach house by the waves,
full length windows to let in the
salty dew
of the early air.

The breeze from her warm waters
awakes my senses.

She opens my sleep filled eyes
to a new way of seeing.

Soft watery sighs; clean white sheets
a divine state of being.
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