Natasha Aug 2
it's going to be a long day
long night
long morning
whats the difference
if you don't


sleep



anyways.
Natasha Aug 2
paralyzing.
a black hole sucking me in
nausea creeps in waves starting in my stomach
hot then cold
and sweating
I can't get comfortable
I can't bear it.
I gag and vomit
until there's nothing left
but something claws me to
dizzying spells anyways.
I cry to spill the fears inside
but none the less they continue to reside.
I travel wearily through the evening
just to find a hopeful feeling
I am met with,
all the more nothing.
so why move? I stay rooted in
a single position,
waiting for it to find me.

but my hearts in my throat and I'm starting to choke
on the nothingness that surrounds me.
I can't breathe,
I find no solace in sleep.
This must be the final chapter.

(II)

I suppose it makes sense,
I'm so broken
beyond repair anyway
what's the point?
my paint is peeling
my walls are cracking
my floorboards creak with every step
I'm a mess
I'm a wreck
no really, save yourself
leave me dead.

you don't have to stay
just do me one last favour?
put a gun to my head
paint the walls with blood and lead
and take my pain away.
you'd probably relish in the fact that you've finally killed the demon inside me, or perhaps in yourself too. Congratulations. two birds, one stone
Natasha Jul 29
you face me,
as I look into your eyes I am paralyzed
lost, in the sweet honey irises surrounded by thick dark lashes,
captured by the lines formed by your cheekbones as you settle into a luminous smile.
swept away, by every little mahogany chestnut hair on your head.
breathless, by the rushing breeze that escapes your lips
when you laugh.
I am so overwhelmed yet it never feels like enough
I keep wanting to lose myself in you, your presence, your touch.
it feels as though I'm falling asleep, all the while I'm wide awake,
that I've never been surer of a feeling,
yet it's almost too hard to take.
my vision blurs, my hands shake,
my breath catches, my legs quake.
it feels as if I could lose consciousness any second.
that with one word, or one graze of your fingertips,
my heart would be filled with such an indescribable amount of emotion that it could just stop altogether.
suspended in my vision, you're the only thing I'd see
frozen in time, at this moment
if yours was the final thing I could be
I'd let my heart stop, my breathing cease
I'd gladly die this way eternally.
like waves and water below you overtake me
you're drowning me flooding all of me
and burning me from the inside out.
I have never met anyone to rival your ambition
have never met anyone to top your intuition
I have never been so lost for words yet
screaming so loudly from within.
my heart is in my throat
choking on all of the feelings
I wish I had wrote so long ago
I could express them better
than in this stupid letter.
Natasha Jul 23
just say it,
you don't want me like I want you
you slip between my fingers
like sand,
I start to grip
and you slip right though
until all I'm left with
is little grains of you.

you'd walk away,
and never turn back
you'd forget about me almost instantly
cut me off, delete me from your life

in fact,

I wouldn't be surprised if you've already started
had your fun before you departed
and now, like weaning an infant off
a mothers breast
slowly and surely,
you'll put this to rest.

you say you love a writer but
these words could never be true
for you don't want me,
like I want you.
my other names for this poem were "trust?" "honesty?" and "you don't want me". relevant
Natasha Jul 13
come close
stay next to me
I need to feel some
shelter from all
that is wrong in the world.

in your arms
the safest place
I feel as though
all the pain is erased.

so stay
the night, or today
stay love
chase all of my demons away.
Natasha Jul 6
Silence,
beautifully cherished between soundless glances
or love locked eyes
of after sheet trances.
for you once said to me,
“silence my dear,
is not the absence of sound
but the presence of something else.”
both capable of taking me to my greatest heavens,
or paving my quiet path to hell
this fact and uncertainty both
fills me with joy
and frightens me to my very core.
for it feels as if you’ve taken my words for nothing but fairy lore.
yet, I stay mute
I’ll sew my lips shut
stuck in this purgatorial
entrenched rut-
deafened,
by the screaming silence.
Natasha Jun 24
it is the summer
and we're together
the blue skies stretch long
and the fires burn forever.

and I couldn't wish for anything better
ever,
ever.

my throat sings with fireflies
bursting from my chest
my eyes dance with northern stars
twinkling to no rest.

I can't describe the way I feel
even in this poem.
But with you, and me, and everyone
I'm here
I'm happy
I'm home.
I'm so so sosososo happy
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