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Jan 2018 · 1.8k
Fuck You
Life Jan 2018
Oh dear,
you spoil me
I wanna kiss you
but I don't wanna test my gag reflexes.
Jun 2017 · 1.6k
Free my Soul
Life Jun 2017
He was not good company in my despair.
But he was company and he was the only company I had.
I share that night with him.
Only him.

We were the only two that breathed oxygen from the air I screamed in.
The only two who felt the blows exchanged by fists.
We were the only two who shared that time and space.
No matter who and how many people I tell my story,
he will still be the only one who was actually there.

We are connected.
We are connected and I don't know how to free myself from these memories.
Free myself from this Hell.
May 2017 · 1.5k
Assault Me
Life May 2017
I do not miss him. Nor do I miss myself as a victim.
I'm neither suffering nor melancholic.
Nothing pulls me back.
Nothing at all, except that I was whole.
Maybe I was a victim, but at least I was something.
Maybe it was painful, but at least I felt something.
Oct 2015 · 3.2k
Hobbies include:
Life Oct 2015
Long walks by the sea
Drinking champain
Self-loathing
Oct 2015 · 4.2k
I Whisper Your Name At Night
Life Oct 2015
After you said goodbye,
I've wondered
what you felt
With me
Sep 2015 · 1.6k
Killer and Prey
Life Sep 2015
I am crumbling under your stare
dying
In the moonlight
Jul 2015 · 1.4k
No More
Life Jul 2015
You don't love me*
And as I screamed these words
*I saw the truth in your eyes
Mar 2015 · 1.9k
To-do List:
Life Mar 2015
Ride an elephant
See the northern light
**** myself
Mar 2015 · 1.3k
My Biggest Fear:
Life Mar 2015
Being covered by insects.
Growing old alone.
Life Jan 2015
Would you believe me to be death?
I guess it makes sense
For this reality, truly is hell

But I am a cheater of death
So here I stand;
Amidst the stink of burning corpses,
Dead eyes of starring, children and women,
Alive.
Oh, but how I wish I was dead.

Now, 80 years after,
The smell of burned carcass,
Still clings to everything I touch
"Arbeit macht frei" (German pronunciation: [ˈaɐ̯baɪt ˈmaxt ˈfʁaɪ]) is a German phrase meaning "work makes (you) free". The slogan is known for having been placed over the entrances to a number of **** concentration camps during World War II, including most infamously Auschwitz.
Dec 2014 · 1.4k
Pity Me
Life Dec 2014
I needed pity,
but the only thing you could give me
was a solution
a smile, a laugh and
ridiculous facts about blood flow.
The best medication for a suffering soul.
Dec 2014 · 1.6k
Simple Cookie (poem)
Life Dec 2014
You kissed me, while there were still crumbs on my lips
The sweetness of the chocolate mixed with you
We laughed and kissed and loved
In a way that filled me with hope
I fell asleep to the sound
of your heartbeat
But when I woke,
No trace of you was left
All there lay, was a broken cookie
I dropped, to taste your sweetness
Nov 2014 · 2.7k
Dear Kind Death
Life Nov 2014
I am not really afraid of death
I am sure he is a nice fellow
I hope so,
since no one’s returned
I cannot bear the thought that death won't be 'nice'
Nov 2014 · 1.2k
The Three Types of Women
Life Nov 2014
I wonder what it is like to be you
With so much self-control,
You stop eating
With so few thoughts regarding the future,
You cut till' you bleed
With so few fears,
That they fill your entire life
 
I wonder what it is like to be you
With so much discipline,
You are pretty every single day
With so few thoughts regarding the future,
You constantly live in the world of now
With so few fears,
You can sweep them under the rug

I wonder what it is like to be me,
With so little self-control,
I let you slip through my fingers,
With so many thoughts about the future,
I can not be anything in the present,
With so many fears
I dare not act.
Her, she and me
Oct 2014 · 1.8k
Indulging in Obscurity
Life Oct 2014
Stop taking the pills
feels like
coming home
to one's darker self
I feel like Dorian Grey, exept I am the painting
Sep 2014 · 8.1k
What I Am:
Life Sep 2014
I am made of flesh, blood and tragedy
Sep 2014 · 1.3k
Sense Me
Life Sep 2014
Do you remember
when you said
that with me,
you felt?
Sep 2014 · 24.1k
The Sonnet on: Life
Life Sep 2014
Life: Noun: Uncountable: Plural: Lives
The ability to have: Abilities
Period of time filled with: Adjectives
With many opportunities to seize

Life as punishment: Contract/prison/love
Life as enjoyment: Contact/comfort/love
Love: Meaning: Affection. Also used above
Love: For idiom see also: Turtledove

Life: Antonym: Death: What comes after life
The leading cause of death on Earth: Neglect
Example: None cared the child had a knife
The leading cause of life on Earth: V-necks

Cheat: Suicide: Lessons on life not learned
Antidote: No cure has yet been confirmed
Sonnet
Sep 2014 · 1.4k
Such Terrible Truths
Life Sep 2014
I feel alive
And calm
And collected
And in control

I really am, a terrible liar
Life Jul 2014
A girl with arms and legs
A brain
A liver
A heart
 
A broken one
The liver I mean,
Not the heart!
Lost, but never in-pieces
 
She doesn't personally own one,
Or she does, it was stolen you see
The one she has now, she loaned
Just until she finds her own!
 
Though the time she uses to pay back her loan
Is time away from finding the stolen core
She pays through her liver
And her innocence
 
Speculating where her heart actually went
She gradually rewinds her life
To see when it disappeared
 
Maybe it was beaten out of her by her father,
Or flushed out when she put her finger in her throat.
Maybe she left it with her virginity,
Or she threw it away with her dignity?
Jul 2014 · 1.5k
Meeting with old companions
Life Jul 2014
I will go to the worst of bars,
Share a drink with memories
Take shots with anxiety
Pick a fight with clarity
Get kicked out with hangovers.
Jul 2014 · 2.8k
The Taste of Intoxication
Life Jul 2014
I'm on the road to become an alcoholic

**And I like it
I got a very luxurious whiskey in present. Needless to say, it tastes astonishing
Jul 2014 · 1.8k
Rest
Life Jul 2014
Tonight,
I will fall asleep,
to the sound of rain.
Jul 2014 · 1.3k
Reveries
Life Jul 2014
I am a child of my mother’s dreams
**And my father’s nightmares
I read this in a bathroomstall somewhere
Jun 2014 · 4.2k
Love
Life Jun 2014
In the garden

Lavenders grow
Jun 2014 · 2.1k
Our Common Responsibility?
Life Jun 2014
Someone call out to him
Before he does something senseless

Someone call out to him*
Because I won't
Responsibility, not after what he did to me
Life Jun 2014
My life looks better
when I'm *drunk
Love-drunk maybe?
Life Jun 2014
I dream of dead people
Of maltractated bodies from the movies
Of grandmother
Of horses with their guts cut open

They are never frightening
Never more or never less
The most terrifying in my dreams
Is the manager I work for

He is schizophrenic
Like my Brother
Has black hair
And piercing eyes
Like my Brother

Sometimes I wake up
Wanting to be dead
I'd rather be a good dream
With paper thin skin
And loving hands

Than a living nightmare
With black hair
And penetrating eyes

**So I search for death
I feel like Dorian Gray
Jun 2014 · 1.1k
Death is Late
Life Jun 2014
They said, I should pretend that she was sleeping
That dying wasn't so bad
And I should have faith,
Hope,
That she would wake up
To cradle me in her arms again

But she didn't.
The tubes crawling under her skin
Only grew in numbers.

This would be her fight
Struggling by herself
Her foes outnumbering her
Slithering down her throat
Suffocating her,
They make her breathe
Gliding under her soft skin,
They are nourishing her

They are inside of her!

She looks like life has almost left her,
And now, the snakes **** out the last of all that is her
Her warmth
Her softness
Her plumpness
They say it isn’t so
But I am not blind

They say, it might not be too late,
But only Rigor Mortis is late
Nonetheless, he will come
Along with his hooded brother
Just because her limbs are not stiff
Does not mean she hasn’t passed *limbo
Extended poem
Jun 2014 · 1.9k
Passing Limbo
Life Jun 2014
They say, it might not be too late,
But only Rigor Mortis is late
Nonetheless, he will come
Along with his hooded brother
Just because her limbs are not stiff
Does not mean she hasn’t passed limbo
Jun 2014 · 1.1k
A Bad Poem
Life Jun 2014
Once upon a time
There was a couple who loved each other dearly

**This is not their story
Jun 2014 · 4.3k
I am a Fading Whisper
Life Jun 2014
I feel like I am diminishing
I am shriveling up
Not really dying
Just a whisper
Fading

I am a soft-spoken word
Like an escaped secret
Never able to return
To your lips
Not ever
Something seems off about this poem. I have been trying to wrap my head around it, but I can't. I think it is the ending, I want it to be powerful or give a different perspective to the poem. But I haven't found anything yet, so I have decided to stop thinking, and just post it.
Jun 2014 · 9.8k
Lingering Conversations
Life Jun 2014
A life is made of moments
Of both good and bad
 
In your present,
On your lips

All our conversations linger
Jun 2014 · 2.4k
LOOK AT ME
Life Jun 2014
You will not look at me.

Not even look at the brave face I practiced
Not look at the smile I painted
Not at the dry eyes I skillfully mastered

This mask I made for you to see
But still, you will not look at me
As if my fakeness, will mutilate the image you have of me

*I can tell you, it will.
Jun 2014 · 8.1k
Waking Up to Reality
Life Jun 2014
The world I live in now
With you
Will be the world I live in for the rest of my life*

And then I woke up to reality.
I had the sweetest dream
Jun 2014 · 1.6k
The Plea
Life Jun 2014
If I talk real slow

Will you listen?
Jun 2014 · 1.3k
Summer Love
Life Jun 2014
I feel the summer
The heat
The UV
The flies

I see you in your bathing suit
and I fall in love
Jun 2014 · 6.4k
You are Hypocrites
Life Jun 2014
A great amount is said about lies
We are all liars
On purpose or not, they often fly
You cannot even detect it in our eyes
 
Only liars know when being lied to
We do not want to admit it
But in our mouth, there is still a residue
All we are, are hypocrites
 
So don’t you to lie to me
I am a hypocrite
I create debris
So just you admit

*You lie too
Jun 2014 · 1.4k
I Won't Marry a Poet
Life Jun 2014
Don't write about me
When I am gone
Just let me rest
*In peace
Jun 2014 · 1.5k
Reminisces
Life Jun 2014
Gentle kisses
Soft-spoken words
A dream, like a whisper, fades and disappears
Your hunger for me dissolves
The memory endures
Such is my love-life
Jun 2014 · 3.3k
I Decay
Life Jun 2014
Sometimes I’m afraid of being sick
Afraid that what I am has a name
Afraid that I helped create a term  
 
Sometimes I feel it
Feel the me that decays
Feel the heart that pumps the rot around
 
Sometimes I wonder if my decomposition can slow
Wonder if my blood needs thinning
Wonder if  I need a leech so as not to rot
 
Sometimes I feel
Sometimes I wonder
Then I remember that this sometimes does not matter
 
Because death is certainly permanent

— The End —