I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

.
                    Time,
                    space
           ­         and everything in between.

                    Heartaches,
                    tea­rs
                    and secrets that don't come clean.

                    Gambols,
                    laughter­
                    and smiles beaming keen.

                    Deep thoughts,
                    aloneness
                    and the dark places we've been.

                    Handholding,
                    carel­ess hugs
                    and ready shoulders to lean.

                    Reckless stabs,
                    impulsive jabs
                    and caustic words we don't mean.

                    Contentment,
                    count­ing blessings
                    and hope we can glean.

                    You,
                    me
        ­            and everything in between.

.

Pinangako ko noong gabing
Lumisan ka at akoy iyong iniwan,
Na hindi na muli ako maglilimbag
Ng kahit anong kanta o tula
Na naglalarawan ng mga nararamdaman ko sayo

Ngunit heto ka nanaman
Biglang lumitaw mula sa kawalan
Muling pinaparamdam ang dapat di ko na maramdaman
At muling ginugulo ang tahimik ko nang isipan.

Pinangako ko na hindi na muli ako magsusulat
Ngunit heto ako ngayon,
Nangangati ang mga kamay na muling humawak
Ng ballpen at gawin ang bagay na matagal ko nang kinalimutan—na hindi pa naman pala

Muling inilimbag ang mga sakit
Muling isinumbong sa papel ang mga hinanakit
Muling nagbabakasali na sa aking pagsusulat
Muling maghilom ang mga peklat

At sa wakas sa dinami dami ng kalyo
Na aking natamo
Sa aking mahabang pagsusulat,
Muling naghihilom ang mga sugat

Muling kakalimutan ka
At kapag biglang naalala
Muling maglilimbag at magsusulat
Susubok makalimot muli sa lahat

The artist paints yellow, pink, and red
roses on her canvas,
glints of blue at the edges
dripping and spilling.
Something for spring, she says.
She gently smiles,
her hand rubbing
the swelling curve
of her belly,
just a black shirt and ragged blue jeans
covering another kind of canvas.
Underneath
something else entirely
waits to bloom.

some days you will feel empty and broken
and you will feel the layer of sadness
thicker than ever before.
but i will ask and tell you to live by this,
fore there is no greater thing than to live.
and i will ask and tell you to do it by my side,
fore there is no greater thing than you.

Jasper my best canine friend,
I have a message to send,
Ears so big, fluffy and free,
Always put a smile on me,
Oval sandy rock eyes stare,
Fur as dark as a black bear,
Coat so shiny lions mane,
Spirit animal large chain,
Mischevious wagging tail,
Someone outside bark and wail,
Muddy prints from paws alike,
Not an aspect I dislike.

"just breathe," they tell you. but no one understands that you can't breathe. your chest has an invisible weight stopping you from taking a breath. you try but it makes it harder. you close your eyes and see all of the thoughts that you hear in your head. you've been like this for so long. "don't worry," they say. but they don't understand that you can do nothing but worry. you can only drown in your own thoughts, unable to swim yourself to safety. your mind is cluttered with "what if's" and, "remember this?" no matter what you do, or how hard you try, you are trapped in this nightmare. the nightmare of your own thoughts. this is is anxiety.
p.m.b. 1:34 am