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zelda 2d
i am barely breathing
   tell me this is not my destination
   i just want to ask you something—

is this where i truly belong?
  i am trying! oh god, yes, i am!
  when did it all go wrong?

all the lies i fed myself—it is becoming real
   i have always known it
   i was never meant to heal
no such thing as a crybaby im doing fine guys
2d · 212
Untitled
zelda 2d
i think i have always been so tender with everything, but it crushes me every time. every person i loved, they always choose someone else over me. i guess that's how it's always been, and getting used to it was easy for me.
battlefield, yes. this world we live in is a battlefield.
a battle with yourself for self-loathing.
zelda Sep 27
[1] truly, i belong to no one. but unfortunately, my heart keeps yearning for love. i believe it does not make me a desperate woman. for me, it only proves that at the end of the day, we all covet attention, touch, sweetness, and love, of course. if i have given the chance to keep the ones i felt a connection with, i thought maybe, i can fix few parts inside their soul that would make it work. but they proved themselves that they're just a season - and i wish they weren't.

[2] they came barging in, questioning themselves. what have they done long-ago or who they truly are? the eloquence denotes an adoration. they threw pebbles in the fountain and wished a happy ending, illustrating the comfort and triumph we could get. no, they didn't say the endless possibilities. just that. indecision arises within and the injustice won, and just like in everyday life, it occurs often. it's humiliating to admit how i almost drowned in the lake where i supposedly am only wearing a silver lining but instead, i wore a discolored crown and a cheap jewel. nevertheless, i giggled, of course; who wouldn't? oh yes! my future self will call it deceptive. but isn't it?

[3] i saw a blotch of paint on my arms. a raspberry bruise on my knee slowly vanishing as i tried to stroke the brush onto the white canvas. the art is looking more forlorn than it was thirty-two minutes ago despite the cerulean clouds and ******-colored paint dripping. there's a feeling of dissatisfaction that seems to linger—no, let me rephrase that. it’s like a sting in my heart, just like how needles can abruptly make your fingers bleed, or how someone can touch your soul except they can swiftly **** you twice. shut your eyes or shut the door? would you even dare to choose? i cleared my throat before picking up the paints on the floor. if this is a dream, i will not protest.

[4] the deities, whom i described as righteous, superior and unbeatable, declared a plague where humans become bellicose. in a piece of paper, i wrote it all down and carry it in my pocket every now and then. i believe this is how we, the mortals, should be; someone who has a sense of right and wrong. but the latter ones love contradicting the divine. so i guess, this is a sentence. i told them no! i will never be one of them! but i cannot decipher their faces. there's a slight uncertainty on the surface because of my undeniable convictions. i am a woman, after all.

[5] i believed in rainbow-like reality. my soul grew up in a household full of love, trust and maybe a few adventurous spirits. the clash of unfair judgment and misconception doesn't seem to matter. we're all different, point taken. yet, it did not disrupt the petals budding in meadowland; something i pictured in my head when i was five or seven years old. i simply believed in love, and loving them could be the ultimate cure to wounded hearts. for me, there are no bad people, only a damaged one.

[6] i tried to soften my heart. again and again and again. but it seems useless. do they enjoy betraying the trust? do they like sinful beginnings? do they love being an untrustworthy person? i cannot fathom their reasoning and logical thoughts. apart from the fact that they make my heart aches, terribly, they think dominance is the only way for me to think that they're in control - and that's the most disgusting thing.

[7] my ears cannot disregard the heavy steps between the whirlwinds that disturb the bushes. i've talked to the owls last night and they said you were wide awake the whole night. they told me how frustrated you were with how things turned out. how awful! you know i can't call the ambulance - not because i can't do anything about, but because i really don't want to.

justice hurts when truth prevails. suffocating, isn't it?

[8] i have no idea how to swallow my bruised ego. excuse my ignorance - does it sound foolish? coming from the mouth of a woman laying her head down, scorned repeatedly by the hands who willingly pushed the wine barrels from the top of the hill, resulting in unstoppable motion.

my cardigan tenderly wrapped around my body, i felt the skin cuts, the remorse for letting you all in, the storm brewing, sorrow - all at once.

don't you dare tell me i did not even try!
the languid caterpillar finally departs

i believe in the most delicate parts of a person. i think we all have that child-like innocence within us - we all have the purest heart until the outsiders marched their way in our lives. you are not obligated to treat me kindly - but i think it's fair enough not to interact with me if you have no good intentions towards me. i have come to realize that i cannot control everyone but myself so if you still have decency in your body, at least do me a favor - give me the coldest treatment you could possibly give, so i know what can i expect and how should i treat you in a most fairly way.

this world is so cruel, so am i - when i am triggered.
Sep 18 · 83
the consequence
zelda Sep 18
the ones who wholeheartedly devotes are the ones who suffers the most.
Sep 17 · 109
formless
zelda Sep 17
they peeled off my skin,
shove the lies in my throat,
now i feel the need to repent!

almighty! a terrible suffering.
i allowed them to orchestrate,
sacrifice my token for help—

they petitioned to jeopardize the igloo
for this century despise the moon
and believe they must create a deeper wound
a confession about a soul, desperately wanting to connect and adore.
the ending is always unknown and most of the times, it's something you least expect. a terrible ending is what i always had, and this is my conclusion.
Sep 15 · 85
the joke is on me
zelda Sep 15
doing something for somebody who ends up lying to you is funnier than the joke itself.
zelda Sep 14
there was never a moment
of synchronicity or euphoria,
only retribution.
perhaps, this is the end. let me tuck myself in and fall asleep quietly. i am about to withdraw and take a leap of faith towards something i cannot fathom.
Sep 14 · 632
history
zelda Sep 14
our decaying faith
is keeping the fossils
afloat
i think of all the times i felt insane. that does not change anything but i love to think that all of those times were better than today. because now, i'm just sitting on a chair, distraught, aloof, furious and sad. not because of my pasts but because of the present.
Sep 14 · 131
real danger
zelda Sep 14
my cold-blooded skin is just a disguise.
and yes, it makes everything worse.
Sep 13 · 83
breathless
zelda Sep 13
feline gasps for air
far away from the seashores
of supremacy
zelda Aug 17
don't touch my skin
my whole soul is burning in hell
i think i've put myself in here,
didn't i?

don't come looking for me
when i am gone and withering
i opened the cracks once again,
didn't i?

this feels like coming to my own funeral;
honeycomb in tea, destined battle
i told you i am fragile,
didn't i?

don't come looking for me
when i am gone and withering ....

alternative name:  full moon
Aug 17 · 260
red cloak, red eyes
zelda Aug 17
what no one has ever told you about the devil, is that they aren't real.

my mother gave birth to a rose with pure innocence. clementine, raspberry, oh! look how sweet she looks like. the glow she produces, everything her fingertips touches becomes stardust, and her stares can feel bittersweet - get burned or ache for bonfire inside your home? either way, you will discover how hungry you are for the thrill and torment.

beneath the pillows is the pain - how easily forgotten, but it will never stop regardless of how many white dandelions she will plant at her backyard.

her bones marbled amongst the other, calm a crocodile upon its attack, distance - that's what she's good at. i wish this dampen cloth made from grief does not cloud her judgment. she made too many ruined choices, embarked on a journey alone once or twice, sew the torn sheets, spilled four caffeine - and still, all she knows is how to look at the stars with tearful eyes and buttermilk aroma smile. naïvety. a great trap, i suppose.

   ; don't you know how much i want to drown those lovely sins? it makes me think of the galaxy i once felt, and like metamorphosis, it turned into wishful skins, then slowly, burned into ashes as i try to nurture the wooden skulls. i shouldn't have done that.

will you light an aggressive fire for me?
look what you made me do


... the devil, perhaps, it's within us.
alternative name: lilith's rage
zelda Jul 29
the worms start to crawl on my belly. my innocent desire is only to express my moonlit thoughts without being scrutinized by desperate mouths, eating cockroaches instead of vomiting snake skins. p r e t t y little thing, they say. no one sees the facade. but to me, the prettiest thing comes from the abandoned houses, yelling in shame, intimidated by the oppressors.

but do oppressors really matter? i think not.


(ACT I. THE DEATH AT THE SINNER PARTY)

do witches fall in love at witching hour?

song: human - christina perri
Jul 25 · 115
the great lake
zelda Jul 25
in my dreams, i call you the keeper - there are millions of fireflies in the garden, asking how we made it this far. i say: it's not even far, but my throat is burning, the words starts to disappear, my hands keeps getting colder and the clock is ticking. tick tock. tick tock. tick tock.     take u s away
song: i know you - skylar grey

(alternative name: evergrowing distance, sweet but it kills)
zelda Jul 23
the water from the shower continues to run down. my back against the wall, trembling hands, smudged mascara on my lashes. people's eyes always imply to act proper. i will always be a   /l a d y/   but oh, i think i will never be free from their expectations. frowning face, stern behavior, bitter truth—they loathe it.


(ACT I. THE DEATH AT THE SINNER PARTY)
do witches fall in love at witching hour?

song: would i - maggie lindemann
zelda Jul 21
i have always wanted to tell the mortals to bury the hatchet. but i know sustaining a war sometimes feels comfortable—a unique distraction to preoccupy our raging minds, parting ourselves from the unsatisfied society. still, everything stays. our pasts. the heartbreaks. love. the deities will never punish us for the displeasure but it will make us tick. we should know.


(ACT I. THE DEATH AT THE SINNER PARTY)
do witches fall in love at witching hour?

song: safe & sound - taylor swift ft. the civil wars
Jul 21 · 208
ii. the bird asks
zelda Jul 21
mother, i'll be home—
am i going to make it
with blood dripping down?


(ACT I. THE DEATH AT THE SINNER PARTY)
do witches fall in love at witching hour?

song: baby don't cut (acoustic) - bmike
zelda Jul 19
look into my eyes
can you stop the blood oozing?
aroused from dull pain
haiku.
(alternative name: the ending is just a myth)
Jul 19 · 406
i. heaven knows i tried
zelda Jul 19
i feel as though i am a misplaced dirt. i don’t belong here. i don’t fit in anywhere. it seems like every place i go to will be a strange memory. like a mere fog in the city transporting your soul into vulnerability, allowing you to surrender your weeping soul. some days, the sadness consumes me. stop this ******* pain! oftentimes, when i am alone, in the dark corner of my bedroom, i say this to myself. beating my chest intensely, missing the warm glow i once had, preaching the power of internal monologues i purposely created to fabricate a picture where i am pure and glistening. but this isn’t me. i am beseeching the gods above us, have mercy on me! the unknown cause forcing my bones to feel the ache. give me the silver blades to end this madness. open lungs, dampen pillows and deep desires to take a new gaze upon the world. but the misery keeps my hands *******. the fact that i have the ability to commit a mistake drowns my body in the ocean of disappointment. hush, put me inside the coffin instead. i made my own bed. this impulsion to start anew is nonsense. the absence of one’s emotions used to make me puke. i have never known how people can easily forget a face, not until i lost myself, and to realize everything about it is a fear i will endlessly think about—for breathing the pure poison of the world is easier. i will never be the same. i will never be the same. i will never be the same. the eccentric aftermath will always be bittersweet. in the blink of an eye, i forgot my own face.


(ACT I. THE DEATH AT THE SINNER PARTY)
do witches fall in love at witching hour?

song: breathe me - sia
Jul 13 · 258
silence
zelda Jul 13
deafening silence
the hallway of tricky love
retains an abyss
my first haiku :-)) yayy
Jul 11 · 577
the heaven on earth
Jul 10 · 353
lethal
zelda Jul 10
some people
can play with your heart
over and over again—
only if you let them.
07.10.19
Jun 19 · 475
warmth
zelda Jun 19
love and kindness
can heal an immense sadness
but only a few people
are brave enough
to give it.
6.19.19 / 10:12 pm
Apr 16 · 219
the first chapter
zelda Apr 16
burning smiles amid despair
absence seems offensive
fair play is wicked
Apr 16 · 198
i.
Apr 6 · 251
illusion
zelda Apr 6
how do you live
with past memories lurking around?
am i too young to be deceived
that hearts beat the same sound?
4.6.19
Mar 24 · 730
get lost. be found.
zelda Mar 24
if you can be a strength
to your family and friends,
so can you to yourself.
small progress is still a progress
ily all **
Feb 25 · 612
white lies
zelda Feb 25
bitter truth
is better than
keeping a secret.
9:43pm
Feb 16 · 170
fairplay
zelda Feb 16
know that i have been patient,
tolerated lies in every statement;
don't ask me why this is the end.
2.17.19.
1:35 am
zelda Feb 7
i am never
too busy
to write poetry
about you.
my first 10-word prose!!! YAY
zelda Feb 3
if i survive this drought,
does it make me tough?
or does it make me cruel
for not calling your name?
Jan 30 · 396
bittersweet
zelda Jan 30
subtle hint of insincerity
letters rushed from my lips
i see things clearly;
i feel everything.
Jan 27 · 123
hollow
zelda Jan 27
let me fill up
the empty cup
with these tears
from regrets and fears.
Jan 27 · 229
despondency
zelda Jan 27
maybe i am
too confusing,
too complicated,
too much—
maybe too much
for everybody.
1.27.19
Jan 26 · 251
the last straw
zelda Jan 26
blood cascades from my eyes
our emotions run high
i will escape from your grasp
while your heart lingers in the past.
do you still miss her warmth?
zelda Jan 22
smokescreen lies
sleepless nights
broken hearts
i tore us apart

i know i'm a fool
and so are you;
remember my name
when our love is through
Jan 22 · 211
the stars are cruel
zelda Jan 22
i guess
it's hard
to let go
of things
you're already
used to.
1/22/19
zelda Jan 18
he thinks i am confusing and complicated. someone he can stare at for hours but someone he's afraid to open up his heart to.

if only he knew how much i love simple things; like the pure beauty of kindness and affection that feeds my soul; like handwritten letters and frank sinatra songs that mesmerizes me; like jazz and the sound of the rain that calms my mind.

if only he knew, i just want to be loved—faithfully, unconditionally and truly. no secrets, no lies. nothing in between.

if only he knew, like scenery and arts, i'll love him as long as i can.
Dec 2018 · 399
the truth
zelda Dec 2018
love isn't something you have to ask from someone.
Dec 2018 · 660
agony is inevitable
zelda Dec 2018
sorrowful chapters are necessary
let me protect the situation
it wasn't the stabs that cut deeply
no one speaks about it; what a shame.
zelda Dec 2018
words haven't spilled yet
your silence is loud and clear.
Dec 2018 · 1.5k
the only one rowing the boat
zelda Dec 2018
i want to hear
your voice
when i'm alone
at night past two;

i want to ask
too many questions
but you don't
want me to;

i want to know
if she's still the one
but i already
figured out the truth.
dec 2018.
Nov 2018 · 176
don't cut the ties
zelda Nov 2018
functioning
is hard
when people
who once adored you,
now distance themselves
from you.
Nov 2018 · 273
the songs i need to hear
zelda Nov 2018
how deep do we still need to dig?
for these wounds to heal or disappear
i understand what you've been through
but if you still love her, don't make me a fool
Nov 2018 · 268
shattered hearts
zelda Nov 2018
does her face
still flashes
when you close
your eyes?

does her name
still put a smile
on your lips
despite every lie?

do you only remember
my name when you're
drunk and tired?
—when you can't call her "mine".
Nov 2018 · 139
detonation
zelda Nov 2018
trust your guts
when you can't
trust anyone.
Oct 2018 · 459
please be patient with me
zelda Oct 2018
i beg for your
forgiveness—

at times
that i am distant
for sadness is a fear
i face with vulnerable eyes.

at times
that my silence
seems anger to you
when i'm finding the light.

at times
that i won't let you
see the tears
behind every white lie.

i will come back,
i always do;
but for now,
i beg for your
forgiveness.
alternative name:  the other part i don't want you to know
Oct 2018 · 150
Untitled
zelda Oct 2018
paradise
is wherever
you are,
love.
Oct 2018 · 572
nightingale
zelda Oct 2018
how amazing—

you're the most
beautiful poem
i've ever written;
even achingly beautiful
when i look at you
and think of you.
Oct 2018 · 155
kismet
zelda Oct 2018
something i've learned—
nothing is coincidence.
no one is born by accident.

it is only a matter of time;
for the years we asked why
and for the times we stayed up all night
alternative name: we will be okay
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