you
       of all people
i thought
              would not
hurt me

but you did

i try to ease my mind
by thinking
you were inebriated
                         lost in a haze

but that doesn't make it hurt
                              any less

i always believed
that a soaked brain
                speaks the truth
but if that is true

then i have been crushed
by my one true love

you

my son.

Turn up the silence and block out the sun,
Alone in my room, a bottle and a gun.
It goes click twice, I'll see another day,
Tears start to fall, can't carry on this way.

I'm already crazy, baby
So I'm not sure where to go from here
My mind's already split in two
And the voices haunt my ears

Can you love someone like me
whose brain is just a wheel?
A little mouse runs round and round to tell me how I feel

And when he's hungry, he just chews up all my pleasant thoughts
And leaves me with the ugly ones as my head slowly rots

I know I'm crazy, baby
but isn't that the fun?
Don't you love it when I'm angry and I let my mouth just run?

But when my mousey dies and the wheel will not turn
I'll finally stop writing and my past pages will burn

I used to be obsessed with
Those tiny, willowy, broken girls.
The ones with the sad eyes
And the drug habits.

But I look at your pictures
And I just get nauseous.

This doesn't suite you.
He doesn't suite you.
None of this suites you.

Remember when we needed each other?
Things were so ****** up,
But you looked so much healthier.

Tonight in this garden
a million flowers loom
clouds of gypsophila bloom
through our window and beyond
with fragrant vines, they sprawl
saturate scented paper walls
these night lilies, only a dalliance
that blooms and fades
your hands, my breath of sighs
we are drunk from dulcet wine
sung from the whisper of moon that dips
caress of your reddened lips
traveling this world
lilting softly slow

She looks in the mirror
At the age on her face
"I wonder what he thinks
of me this way?"

She considers her weight
and the pores on her skin
She thinks out loud
"I don't deserve him."

She picks apart
the woman he loves
Separating her worth
from all that she does
              
He looks in her eyes
and caresses her face
He sees it glowing with love
and full of grace

 The lines on her face
  he views with pride
  Recounting the victories
  each time they've been tried

The weight that she carries
 is that of a mom
 Nothing's too heavy
 She just marches on

These bodies will perish
 and mirrors offer no truth
True love abides
 beyond the corridors of youth

  No, she doesn't deserve me
  Perhaps God can see
  Conceivably, one day
  I'll be as worthy as she