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Feb 2018 · 289
Breathing Underwater
Remi Leroy Feb 2018
It’s twelve midnight and I start thinking
About a question once posed to me
“Are you afraid of the ocean?” They asked
Out of curiosity. It tugged at my mask.

Lying on the ocean bed for eons after eons
On my back staring back at the black sky
Lying on the ocean bed till I could take it no more
A millimeter, or two, I tried to open my eyes

Clawing at my neck till gills are born
They said a nebula must collapse for a star to be born
I guess I was the nebula and now I have moved on
Deep underwater, I’m no longer forlorn

The ocean vast and wide with endless opportunities
The ocean where I was sunk in
A dessert made of my blood, sweat and tears
The ocean where I now live

The ocean brings back memories which sometimes
Still make me breathless (I’d forgotten I’ve gills now)
Yes, yes I’m afraid of going back to what I was
Yet, yet I know that I’m no longer lost

It’s twelve midnight and I start breathing
I’ve survived, so it’s time to start living
Dec 2017 · 364
Reflection
Remi Leroy Dec 2017
So many things that I’d wish people knew
So many things I’d rather hide away 
Throwing my hands up in surrender 
As I fall to my back against the beach
Watching the stars make love to the universe 
Watching myself dance to fate’s melody 

I’d like to tell myself to remember 
That I should live life sober 
That hurting is not the way out 
That pain isn’t the only feeling I know 
To not listen to the sea breeze’s calling
To not walk into the ocean’s embrace 

Even if I end up at the bottom of the seabed again 
Even if all I can do is drown in my memories again 
I’d like to tell myself to remember
There’s me waiting on the shore 
Waiting for my reflection to get back up 
Patiently waiting, till I get back up
17.12.05
Dec 2017 · 378
A Whisper Into The Night
Remi Leroy Dec 2017
Moving along the waves
Basking under the moonlight
I still remember your piercing gaze
Which once set my skin alight
Was I in love with you
Or the ”me” with you?
17.11.29
Dec 2017 · 281
Untitled 17
Remi Leroy Dec 2017
Listening to the monotonous droning of the professor's voice
Going on and on becoming white noise
My eyelids growing heavy, like I'm trying to support the sky with my two hands
Vision becoming blurry as I glance around the room
To see your eyes meet mine
Those brown ones so fine
A little shy as we tread this fine line
Where we are on two ends with arms outstretched
Yet not too sure if our intentions matched
I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks
On this morning at ten thirty
The professor goes on and on but all I see is you
Smiling at me in a seminar room
17.10.27
Nov 2017 · 484
Blue
Remi Leroy Nov 2017
Dipping a sable fur brush into blue
A teal blue the colour of the ocean of my imaginations
A blue I'll sink into
Like how the colour sinks into parchment

A stroke across white, precise and gentle
Like the way your eyes deliver warmth
Like the way I'll sink into the burnt umber of your eyes
I'm gravitating towards you
No matter how I run, no matter how I hide
I still end up with scraped knees
As though I'm addicted to falling

Stroke after stroke, watching the colours bleed together
In patterns beyond imagination
To create a piece just for you and me
Inside my head, locked away
Because I know no matter how I feel
These stories are never real

A blue so vivid yet faded
A brown so simple yet elaborate
Where colours collide on a parchment white
I'll just be blue, a blue ocean night
17.10.27
Nov 2017 · 390
Low-Blood Sugar
Remi Leroy Nov 2017
Staggering to my feet from the icy bathroom floor
One hand raised to shield my swollen red eyes from the
Blinding sunlight filtering through the dew-stained leaves of maple trees
Another hand weakly grabbing onto the porcelain white sink
When a sudden wave of gut-turning nausea caused my knees to buckle
And the white room spun
My vision peppered with phosphenes like holographic dust
My skin drenched in cold sweat

No longer sweet since the day you left me
My blood’s a bitterness you can’t imagine
17.11.25
Nov 2017 · 585
Geode
Remi Leroy Nov 2017
Falling apart from a height
Laying shattered on the ground
Broken shards reflecting light
Casting myriads of hues all around
Is it only then do we realize how beautifully broken we are?
17.11.22
Nov 2017 · 386
Galaxy
Remi Leroy Nov 2017
And the stars make love to the universe.
Under my breath, I breathed a curse.
Furiously, I rubbed the rainbow off my wrist
maybe if I ignore, all of this will be just a bad dream.

Still I know, my heart beats,
my heart beats for you.
Yet you, sitting with a book in your hand,
eyes focused on the myriad of letters and sentences, the stars in that little universe, the stars in your book,
while the whole outside universe is forgotten.
You are in your own universe
and I stood on the outside of the universe, silently watching,
silent cursing because I didn't want my heart to beat for you.

I cursed because
the stars make love to the universe,
yet I'm not part of your universe.
I curse because
you are so out of my reach.
You are my star,
yet I am down on earth. I look up at the stars
I look back at my star,
and I turned away.

I let my head fall on my desk,
hiding my face, while I contort it, while I use those imaginary scalpels and tweezers to fix my flaws, while I use my invisible vacuum to **** out all these feelings and lock it deep, deep within me.
I raise my head once again,
waking up from the anesthesia,
and I turn away.
I watch the stars make love to the universe in my head.
You sit beside me, silently reading while I sit beside you,
silently cursing.
14.04.12
Nov 2017 · 287
Waiting for Spring
Remi Leroy Nov 2017
One foot over another, another after another
I could feel the coolness against my feet
Under my weight the grains compress
As I walk, following an unknown beat
A look behind caught sight of the wave
Erasing my tracks on the summer beach
Once, I left my mark on your heart
But I guess you’ve erased it when we part

I lay down on my back, breathing in the sea breeze
A heart empty, my mind drifting
Like a raft alone in the vast ocean
Drifting without an end in sight
It’s cool and calm, and I could hear the ocean speak

Like an autumn leaf falling to the ground
Reddish brown hues all around
If you didn’t look closely you wouldn’t know
Which leaf had last fallen
When I had disappeared into the crowd

I used to like falling, mindless falling into the arms of strangers
Dangling my heart for others to see, pouring my thoughts out of me
I guess the game was too easy
And now I keep the words in me

Pretty words for myself to read
A loneliness like a single fir tree
Withstanding winter alone in the falling snow
If you didn’t look closely you wouldn’t know
Where it was under the blanket of snow
17.11.19
Oct 2017 · 549
Biological fantasy
Remi Leroy Oct 2017
I know, I know
It's just an infatuation
It's just borne of a biological need to find a partner of an opposite gender
An animalistic need to procreate

I know, I know
It's just a theory
The idea of soulmates, finding The One
A story made up by lovesick poets
Feeding childhood dreams

I know all this
At the back of my hand
Yet, deep down inside
There's a girl sitting on a cliff

Staring down at the stream leading to a river leading to the endless ocean
Waiting for that One Day
Where her breath would be stolen
Where dreams would be realized
Where nothing would make sense
And everything would be nonsense

There's a girl living in made-up fantasies
Drawing cloud castles in the air
Collecting stars in a jar as a night lamp
Listening to the voices in the breeze

When soulmates meet
When I'll be consumed by your unconditional love
When I'll meet you

A lovely dream it'll be
The day you find me
17.10.17
Sep 2017 · 495
My Apocalypse
Remi Leroy Sep 2017
I remember
Staring at the vast ocean of stars
Praying, wishing with the last lingering thought before sleep
That my life wouldn't be so stagnant
For an adventure worthy of tales
To throw me off my guard

They say, "Be careful what you wish for in the dark."

Seeing myself in the mirror
A monster, a horror
An unknown disease lurking, hidden
A virus within forever

Wrapping my head in my arms
A self-loathe burning like a fever
A desire to pluck out my nails
Like plucking out petals from a flower

I love me, I don't love me, I don't love me
I don't ever love me

Stop breathing down my neck
Stop pawing me for answers
Stop drilling holes in my back
I can hear your whispers

I know, I know
I don't need you to tell me I'm disgusting
I could throw up just looking at myself

It's pathetic that I brought this onto myself
I used to laugh at the stars
Cursing and swearing like nothing ever matters
"When the world comes crashing down,
Use it as a blanket," I used to say.

Who knew, who knew
I'd never see
Myself the same again

Who knew, who knew,
I'd never see
The sun rise again
17.09.23
Sep 2017 · 246
feather-light
Remi Leroy Sep 2017
like a feather brushing against my cheek
as my head rests on your lap
your touch breathes life into my still heart
*am i going to fall again?
17.09.07
Sep 2017 · 307
To Neverland
Remi Leroy Sep 2017
red yellow blue orange purple pastel
soaring up into the sky without a care in the world
no strings attached
nothing else in the air but clouds
and the calming, cooling, relieving sea breeze

balloons soaring up in the air
there's me among them
they take me away to a place
where nothing can touch me
where i'm free of worries

feather-light, up and up we go
at a pace smooth and slow
i close my eyes and listen to the sounds
a pianist's fingers dancing along the keys
with such grace, with such elegance

red yellow blue orange purple pastel
scattered across the cyan blue sky
with puffs of pure white clouds in the air
so soft, i imagine
as i close my eyes
as i soar into the sky
17.09.01 something I wrote while I was really stressed and breaking down. writing these words forced the imagery into my head and really helped me to calm down
Aug 2017 · 640
The Enchanted Forest
Remi Leroy Aug 2017
One foot over another, as I try to balance on those
White stilettos, in my white dress splashed with floral prints
Entering the ballroom filled with people
Vines wound around window sills, flowers emanating a mysterious scent
Fairy lights glow in the dim lights
And I see you.

A shy glance was all I allowed
The seat beside you was empty
Should I sit over there?
Situation and circumstances pulled me to the another table
It shouldn’t have meant anything but my heart sunk a little.

You were taking photos of the event
I was watching the performances put up
Music played in the background
Food was served on the table

Yet, was it my imagination?
From the corner of my eye I see you poised with your camera
The lens facing me
Like an arrow drawn as I hid between the trees
Were you aiming for the mystical birds behind me?
Once, twice
How many exotic birds have you taken down?

With a wave of your hand, you called out to me
An exchange of words
Jokingly, playfully, like a game
“No, seriously.” We held eye contact.
A sudden rise in temperature
Do not blush
The darkness was enveloping
Memories resurfaced, wounds reopened
This is bad
You left me in search of others

Disappointment? Was that what I felt?
Relief? As if I plunged into a well of conflicting emotions
It shouldn’t mean anything

Yet, what was that look for?
The enchanted forest is a dangerous place to explore.
17.08.28
Aug 2017 · 288
Sea of Voices
Remi Leroy Aug 2017
A musical note floating around
Joining the sea of choruses, an enchanting sound
Your smiles and laughter, your foolish gestures
Tugging at the corners of my lips to make me smile
It's been a long time since I've felt the same
Is this me falling in love again?
17.08.12
Jun 2017 · 1.0k
And I'm here
Remi Leroy Jun 2017
Can you imagine what would happen if we could have everything?
I'm still watching the stars and the moon, waiting for you to breathe.
The days feel like decades, I'm stuck in the moments when you were next to me.
Even if I wasn't the one you were smiling for,
Even if I wasn't the one you were looking for,
I wished at the very least, you were happy.
17.06.21
Jun 2017 · 309
Untitled 16
Remi Leroy Jun 2017
I think it was the way your bangs fell over your eyes
Softening your features and bringing out the life
In those pair of brown eyes
As the clouds hung on the blue sky behind you
As another stood with his arms around you
While you smile in blissful happiness
Made me realize
It's time to snip away the threads
It's time to move on
17.06.21
Jun 2017 · 553
Untitled 15
Remi Leroy Jun 2017
Deep bass pounding in ears
Red and blue lights dancing around heads
Shadows and silhouettes
Whispers and kisses

Don't think

Alcohol pulsing through veins
Mindless souls moving to the same beat
Hitting notes, scratching marks
Trying to leave a trace on this vast universe

Missing

Anthems blaring through hidden speakers
Heartbeats in sync with the drums
Melding in the throng of grinding bodies
Heels and boots marching to the rhythm

Drifting

Maps and compasses thrown into the ocean
Steering wheel left unguarded
Wave after wave of heavy thoughts
Pushed to the boundary of the horizon
17.06.03
May 2017 · 753
Blurred
Remi Leroy May 2017
Hey
I wonder how you are
A hundred miles away from my breath
A million feet out of reach
I miss your caress against my cheek
The light twirling in my hair as we lay together
Moonlight shining on white sheets
Feeling our chests rise in sync
I wonder if you remember as I do  
I wonder if you know *I miss you
17.05.21
May 2017 · 247
Coffee
Remi Leroy May 2017
A waft of pleasantly warm and cosy aroma

Gently wrapped around my face

Sweet lips with a dash of bitterness

Coffee-coloured eyes trapped my gaze
15.07.23
May 2017 · 220
Untitled 13
Remi Leroy May 2017
Words, swelling from the bottom pit of your gut
Curling and swirling like the whispering tendrils of smoke from a doused forest fire
Rising to the chest, pawing through the black tunnel
Getting caught at the back of the throat

It was foolish

Red rising from the east
Red reaching outwards, displaying a gradient of hues
Red, orange, pink, yellow, white
White light casting over the vast lands, causing the surface of the oceans to shimmer like a field of diamonds,
Bouncing off skyscrapers, bringing life to the world
White light so mesmerizing I found myself staring

It was common sense to look no longer than a second or two
Yet, arrogance swelled in my chest
I had eyes only for the Sun
Too long I'd been staring
I hadn't notice when my eyes were hollowed out
As though you scooped them out with a spoon and swallowed them like pudding

Blind as a mole
Cowering under the cover of soil and dirt  
Digging meandering underground mazes to trap and misguide any onlookers
Just a moment of lingering
Just a step closer to the edge
At the very end, standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean
Watching the sunrise

*It was foolish
17.05.16
Apr 2017 · 330
Crescent
Remi Leroy Apr 2017
she just wants to be loved so badly
she just craves warmth too much
she gave all of it away hoping to get it back
but gambling with The Fates is rough
she longs for the moon which watches her at night
the off-white toothless smile has got her back

yet when day comes the moonlight fades
and with the warmth the moon leaves
the moon doesn't offer warmth and the light deceives
in the long, cold and black sky the moon watches

she just wants fruits she can never taste
a blooming in her heart she'll forever have
day and night
The Fates do not waver
they do not fall to tampers
perhaps they pitied her and took the moon away
letting her bask in the warmth she craved
day by day
hoping she'll walk out of the darkness
and stop the fruitless search of a crescent
170418
Remi Leroy Apr 2017
the wooden bridges connecting you and me
on the day you decided to leave
on the day I realised you weren't coming back
I tore them down, I burned them down
ripping the charred wood as though
wrenching my ribs out of my chest
one by one didn't hurt at all

by the time I reached the last bridge
which still connects you and me
(on the bridge carved both your name and mine)
I dismantled the bridge with the expertise of a carpenter
one by one the wooden planks fell to my side
I didn't build a campfire with them
this last bridge
shall be a memory

with the wood I built a boat
a little boat carrying only me
in this little boat I sail towards the open sea
17.04.12
Apr 2017 · 695
Fatal attraction
Remi Leroy Apr 2017
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars"
But what if this star hung up in the cold black sky
This star the only guiding light in the shrouding suffocating darkness
Wasn't meant for me?
To touch it
Meant hot white flames searing through my skin
Losing an arm
To look at it
Meant steel blades cutting my eyes
Blinding me
This star
The *only
star I see in the darkness
Why can't it be meant for me?
Why save me from the darkness
Only to push me down this endless pit again?
17.04.07
Apr 2017 · 474
Weather
Remi Leroy Apr 2017
Raindrops
I lifted my head to face the drizzling rain
Little streaks in the background
Wetting my cheeks, damping my hair, soaking my clothes

Rain clouds overhead
Grey cotton puffs in the vast and wide sky
Shielding the light, bringing the cold with them
I stood in the pouring rain, letting the chill sink into my bones
Like needles boring into my joints
Do I have an umbrella?
Yes, yes I do.
It's in my hand, waiting to be opened.
Do I want to use the umbrella?
Perhaps.

But the rain makes me feel
Even if the only thing I feel is pain
I'd want to feel alive
17.04.05 prompt: unconventional love
Apr 2017 · 746
Death by Overwork
Remi Leroy Apr 2017
Sheets of white piling up on my desk
Red alerts with red flags flooding my mail
The little ping, ping, ping of incoming messages from various correspondents
Demanding my attention

"You should learn to say no; stop doing everything by yourself."

Once, my insides would clench and I'd feel like I'd been
Kicked in the shin whenever I see something that reminds me of you
But now, search as I might, I can no longer see your face
Even down memory lane, you've vanished as suddenly as you did in reality

Other events flow like running water, with the clarity of a clear lake
Yet when I try to recall the words you said
It was as if a mischievous kid decided to mess with the tap
On; off. On... off. On... off. On; off.
A buffering in my mind like chopped up notes of a song when a video wouldn't load properly
1991. 9893. 0306. 162. 0341. Numbers are all I remember.
How did
Your smile look like?
How did your voice
Sound like?

I stare at the excel sheet I've been populating
I stare at the values I've been entering
One after another, work requests come
One after another, the traces of you go
17.03.30
Apr 2017 · 516
Hunger
Remi Leroy Apr 2017
a churning in your abdomen
like the clenching of your fists to show the whites of your knuckles
like the contracting of your heart muscles to pump blood from head to feet

a low growl
like a beast's when it sees prey after starving for days
crouching low, stalking, waiting to pounce

a waft of fresh blood
the animal had lunged; it caved into ******* desires,
incisors cutting through sinews

warm red liquid spilling all over
a ****** mess, clouding vision
a beast devouring, feeding until it's the only one standing
the only one cackling

a gulp
of fresh air clears the mind
is one meal enough to satiate the beast?
through a reflection one sees their beast
lingering, hiding amongst shadows
dormant, creeping beneath stained skin

"Out, ****** spot!"
but from head to feet, the ****** is me.
17.03.29
Mar 2017 · 549
Sweet-toothed
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
cotton candy in pink, blue, white
fluffy and fearless before sparkling eyes
I disappear into them
you'll never see me again

clouds of smoke in black, grey, white
I find myself breathing (or so I thought)
the ghost of me lays peacefully in white  
my limbs trapped in toffee (and there I rot)

cotton candy hardens into sticky toffee
when water touches it
when my lips touch it
soft to touch but never mine to hold

sweet candy in carnival colours
neon lights and bubble pop
I didn't believe the shadows in your eyes
or the sweet wrappers you trample on

a poisoned apple you offered me
"It's poisoned," you warned me
so who is to blame for this tragedy?
well, it's always been me, me, me.
17.03.27
Mar 2017 · 326
Untitled 12
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Following the lines of the wrist
The shadows and grooves
And at a certain angle, the tendons can be seen
If you closed your fist tightly
The whites of your knuckles against flesh tones
With streaks of green blue purple
Of arteries, veins, capillaries forming a pulsing network
I like the shape of your wrists

When I swallow
My larynx constricts
There's a sharp pain at the top of my throat
I drink some water but it doesn't go away
It's as if there's an arrow through my throat
The arrow head poking out from the front
Like a pendant
You grab the end of the arrow from the back of my head
And wrenched it out
17.03.24
Mar 2017 · 504
Vision
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Dust, sand, pepper, I'm not too sure
Which went into my eyes but I'm tearing furiously
Through my blurred vision, I saw another
In the dark corner, with her knees to her chest
Hands covering her face
In the dark she wept
Was it you I saw or is this my reflection?
17.03.10
Mar 2017 · 650
Untitled 11
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Caramel showers
Still do not wash away the
Bitterness you left
17.03.06
Mar 2017 · 711
Awake
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
The sound of cars driving by in the distance,
The sound of trains carrying passengers,
The sound of the night breeze dancing through leaves, making them rustle.

There are no stars in sight as I stare at my blank ceiling, a single bulb in the middle, fused.
I keep my eyes open and the darkness starts to swirl, fading at the edges and congregating at random spots.
The dryness in my throat somehow spreads to my eyes.
The stinging reminds me of soot and fire.

(Remember how you burned my lungs in a forest fire?)

My eyes start to water as I fight to keep staring at the darkness.
I refuse to fall asleep.
I refuse to return to the dreams abundant with your luring smiles, plagued with your careless whispers.

I refuse to wake up from those dreams with you.
I refuse to wake up to another cold morning without you.
17.02.27
Mar 2017 · 363
Shapeless
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Neon lights paint the streets.
Iridescent. Luminous. A myriad of
Colours floods my mind. They are
Overwhelming, suffocating. I don't want it.
Listless, restless, I'm still searching for the
Echoes; the monochrome echoes of your shapeless voice.
17.02.07
Mar 2017 · 700
Photographs
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
All I am left with are
Pictures of your warm smile
A whisper of your soothing voice
An echo of your fiery feelings
A waft of your quirky humor
Memories of you and me

Awkward calls ending with burning cheeks
Time lags between morning greetings
Nights without sleep just to bring us a little closer
Unsaid understandings and silences
Hidden anticipation for the unseen future
The future of you with me
17.02.07
Mar 2017 · 449
Labyrinth
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Walls, stone walls climbing as high as skyscrapers
Grey, grey upon grey, shadows and stone
A shaky breath left my lips as I looked forward.
My eyes met an endless corridor, stretching further and further
Further and further

An aching burn in my heart prompted me to keep walking
Everything was grey, it chills me to the core
An echo, a whisper of your voice
Your soothing words a gentle caress against my cheeks

"I got you. I'll be your rock."

Nails digging into my palms, I placed one foot over another, one foot over another
I told myself, we are going to make it out together.

With only my intuition as my guide, I travelled through the endless labyrinth
One day, we will find each other and make it out together.
17.02.07
Mar 2017 · 325
Awakening
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Lost in my thoughts, lost in my fairy tales
Blinded by fairy lights descending from forest trees
Petals glow and magic flows down the glittering stream
A clear turquoise mirror of my hopes and dreams

A flash of lightning, a clash of thunder
Rain starts pelting down on me
Lost in the woods in the dark I cannot see
Reaching ahead, there's only a silent grin

Fear and trepidation infused with hope and exhilaration
An adventure I've always imagined!
A tantalizing waft of charisma caught my nose
Following it through the darkness, losing all my senses

The rain is getting stronger and I am getting colder
The wind makes me shiver despite the warmth of my blood
I can barely keep my eyes open in the darkness
Should I let down my guard and let you guide me through this chasm

A hand took my hand
I gave you control

I heard your voice calling my name
I give up control

Tentatively I opened my eyes
It had stopped raining
It was quiet
There was no fairy dust

The forest is gone and so is the stream
Perhaps finally, I've made it to reality.
17.01.31
Mar 2017 · 361
Untitled 10
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Torn between logic and passion
Despair coursing through my veins like ocean waves, wave after wave
Inundating me, suffocating me
My breath leaves my lips in a silent prayer,
My lungs igniting in flames,
Consuming the last of all
Oxygen
I'm only left with one shield
I'm torn, so torn between myself and you
17.01.19
Mar 2017 · 734
So Far Away pt2.
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
so much and so much more that I could never have said
shut in my throat, lost words that dissolve when I try to grasp at them.
so much and so much more that we could have been
gone are the days when everything mattered equally.

from here on there is
so much distance between us.
no matter how much I run, no matter how much I push,
my knees would buckle under me, my arms would fall limp by my side,
as I see you moving forward, further and further.
shaking, I reach out.
your name, a syllable that rests on the edge of my lips
lost in the howling wind.

so much and so much more we could have become
slowly but surely, your silhouette fades out in my vision.
16.09.23
Mar 2017 · 826
Thunderstorm
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Boom.

That's the sound I hear when I squeeze my eyes shut
And clamp my hands over my ears.

Boom.

It sounds like fireworks.
The kind that surge into the air, disappear for a short moment,
Before exploding into a million pixels of luminance
With a loud and vibrant

Boom.*

Gingerly, I remove my hands from my head
Listening to the pitter-patter against my window
Watching the white flash of—

I squeeze my eyes shut, head lowering, hands tight against my ears, knees close to my chest, eyes shut, hands tight against my ears, breathing paused, heart pounding.

A low *grumble.


I open my eyes, hands still against my ears.
The sky is very black.
Some fears
Leave a scar too deep
To be overcome
No matter how many lies you tell yourself.
14.11.08
Mar 2017 · 246
So Far Away
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Desires unlimited, invisible hues spiraling up into the shrouded sky
Ringing in my ears a brimming sense of hope
Enveloping my heart as it swelled, pumping
Adrenaline through my blood. Eyes tracing the invisible trajectory skywards
"May my wishes be realised." A prayer whispered
Soft like a baby's breath, soft like the landing of an autumn leaf.

Lingering in the air was an acrid stench of Impatience.
Ears straining to hear the resounding boom which should have followed, eyes frantically searching for the vibrant colours which should have followed. Yet, it was just
Silence.

Retreating, surrendering, it doesn't matter which came first.
Energy sapped and knees scraped, the monotone of each day resumed.
Agreed, my heart still skips whenever a flicker of hue shines through the blinds. Yet,
Left behind were the days when I would abandon my demons to chase the
Intangible bright lights.
Thrown behind were the days when new scents would make me dance in the rain.

Yesterday, I slept while diamonds lit up the sky.
16.08.18
If my memory doesn't fail me, I wrote this when I decided to give up useless thoughts and feelings and dedicate myself to my studies. But I guess it could be interpreted as giving up/letting go of someone as well.
Mar 2017 · 499
Untitled 9
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
how do I find strength in silence
where do I find courage in darkness
my heart can't take blows one after another
I know you can't help it
yet please
tell me your hidden thoughts so I can carry them
tell me your anxieties so I can allay them
let me be strong enough to carry both our worlds
even if my spine snaps or my shoulders break
trust me
I'll be strong enough to carry both our worlds
16.02.28
Mar 2017 · 327
Snow
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Too cold inside for
Angels to fly
No warmth inside so
Angels die
Too empty inside
The angels died
In the silence
The demons rise
15.01.11
Mar 2017 · 384
A memory
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
love was walking together in the rainside by side
sharing an umbrella as the strong winds
threatened to tear the umbrella apart

love was you holding my hand not letting go

love was walking together, matching our footsteps
waltzing across puddles of water
with wet shoulders and laughter and squeals

love was the little carefree moments that I shared with you
15.10.31
Mar 2017 · 255
Untitled 8
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Slowly, slowly, time is slipping away
Softly, gently, the clouds darken to grey
Quietly, eyes closed, shadows fade
Slowly, slowly, I'm going away
15.06.23
Mar 2017 · 715
In the dark
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Your eyes are the colour of the starry night sky; I close my eyes watching the
Fireworks of phosphenes
And in my vision I see your cold blue stare: warm, friendly, loving.
Too warm, too friendly, too loving.
My hands reached forth meeting a blistering nothing.
Our palms are two halves meant to be one, fingers intertwined and locked
Yet locked is your heart to which a key I have not.

My heart raced while watching you from afar
A spark ignited and soared into the black sky.
Exploding, it lit up the dark night and showered me with your warmth and fire
One I enveloped and was blinded by; I could not see the light
Fade into the stark starless nothingness
Instead, all I saw was you (and the life I wanted with you)

Countless, fruitless attempts of baring my soul to you made me question
Perhaps Cupid misfired, made me askew, and still I yearn for you.
I am afraid, you know. Yet, a sliver of light slipped between the crack of the closet door
Do I grasp it or do I leave the light be?
(laughs) Forgive me. To be or not to be, wasn't the crux, was it?

Staring at you from across the room, I've come to realize
Hard truths never fail to fall even the strongest—you only have eyes for Others
Cause after all, norms are meant to be adhered to
And the sky is never always a clear blue. Fireworks don't last forever,
Do they?
In the darkness I stand watching them fade. I clutch at my heart, fire ablaze. It shall stay ablaze

For all eternity.
15.07.29
Mar 2017 · 939
Starry starry night
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
The stars shine quiet in the night sky
Flickering, in the dark
Tonight I wish upon one shining so
Bright
Praying, in my heart
One day when the stars align
I will be yours, and you will be mine
We will not be lost
At night
15.04.16
Mar 2017 · 367
Untitled 7
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Color of my blood
You’re the lighthouse in my storms
You’re where I belong
15.04.14
Mar 2017 · 252
Untitled 6
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
It’s a night to remember
A nightmare forever
The stars crashed down
Bursting into shimmers, burning the universe.
It’s a nightmare inside her
Forever she’ll remember
The day you plucked stars from the skies
The day you poisoned her eyes.
15.04.08
Mar 2017 · 238
Ego
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
Ego
Above the mountains
Alone in the clouds
Around you a grey mist shroud

Down the mountains
Live poor peasants
Laughing at them aloud

High above you wear your crown
Finding amusement in others’ frown
Isolated in desire
A fort of thirsty fire
Impregnable or so you thought

Down
           Down
                       Jack fell down
Following his tumble you broke your crown
Can you still laugh
Can you still mock
When you always were
Below their ground
15.04.26
Mar 2017 · 294
Faded
Remi Leroy Mar 2017
I was watching the sunset a moment ago
I was watching the sun’s red fade into a grey blue
I didn’t get chills, there were no tears
It was a calm in my heart
Mixed with a little sense of relief
The fire receded into the rhythmic lapping of waves, after waves, after waves
I was watching you fade from view
Fading into blue, fading into blue.
15.04.20
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