i'd never forgotten your idyllic eyes
or that brazen gaze
i used to look both ways
to leap in front of your down days

i'd never forgotten your laugh
or that feeling of home
that knowing i'd never have to feel alone

my heart rests firmly on my sleeve
but that outfit's always been reserved for you

i'm glad i never grew out of it

calloused souls
idle hearts
sewed together but worlds apart

love endures
forever yours

you're everything

perfectly odd
righteously wrong
you've got heaven in your eyes and hell on your tongue

you read your books
to keep the hope alive
that you'll survive
sneak on past the diatribe

your coat is crusted with critiques
words you've heard
sleeves scorched by stricture
distorted scripture

thread these lines through your hair
bathe your soul in self-help
literary showers
get empowered

rinse
repeat

there are stains behind these eyes
blot the skies
dot the i's
have i constructed my own demise

pointing at my own reflection
aimed abjection
i've changed my cadence
lived in latence
my past and present act as remnants
an artifact
a stark reminder of what i lacked

coming undone

i check out my reflection
red eye, edit that
find a filter to cut out the fat

moments measured by mentions
i pin down the acne
please "at me"
index my life with my index finger
eyes linger
losing sanity to vanity
i sculpt this life
     so you can indulge
and i can
     divulge
that today
i'm doing
okay

i check out my reflection
feed me some reception