can't find a lipstick dark enough to match my soul

So very long we have sat together, you and I.
It has become apparent that you care so
Little about small talk or discourse or
Even interacting with me at all outside of your own convenience.
Now, after all these months, I analyze and wonder: Do you even
Care at all about me? Or have I simply existed
E*phemerally to you all along?

at their best, there is gentleness in Humanity.
some understanding and, at times, acts of
courage
but all in all it is a mass, a glob that doesn't
have too much.
it is like a large animal deep in sleep and
almost nothing can awaken it.
when activated it's best at brutality,
selfishness, unjust judgments, ******.
what can we do with it, this Humanity?
nothing.
avoid the thing as much as possible.
treat it as you would anything poisonous, vicious
and mindless.
but be careful. it has enacted laws to protect
itself from you.
it can **** you without cause.
and to escape it you must be subtle.
few escape.
it's up to you to figure a plan.
I have met nobody who has escaped.
I have met some of the great and
famous but they have not escaped
for they are only great and famous within
Humanity.
I have not escaped
but I have not failed in trying again and
again.
before my death I hope to obtain my
life.
from blank gun silencer - 1994

She's outside
the nurse said
getting
some sunshine

doctor's orders
so I went out
through the double doors
into the grassy area

outside the ward
Julie was sitting
in a chair
smoking

in a dressing gown
her hair pulled tight
in ponytail
getting some sunshine

I said
yes
got to be
a good girl

she said
get some sun
to my skin
I sat in a chair

beside her
took out
a cigarette
and lit up

how's it going?
I asked
cold and fed up
and wanting a fix

she said
but all I get
is a cigarette
and all this

get some sun
and fresh air stuff
she crossed her legs
her feet were naked

she'd painted
her nails red
I brought you
some cigarettes

and chocolate
I said
and laid them
on the small

white table
by her legs
thanks
she said

wish we could meet
at that cheap
hotel again
I fancy some ***

she inhaled deeply
and looked back
at the doors
of the ward

maybe next month
if they let you out
I said
they say I can't

go out
until I’ve kicked
the fix habit
she said

turning round
and gazing at me
hope they've fixed
the taps this time

she said
confused me
to turn on
the cold tap

to get hot
I smiled
she uncrossed her legs
and I saw

a glimpse of thigh
which hung and stayed
in the camera
of my eye.

You are rare, an iridescent coral reef
of uncommon beauty , emerging
out of ocean blue, with an appetite for sun;
he has fallen for you at the first sight.
I am the setting sun, with stunning
rays of praise that keep you thrilled,
for the while I last, and would make you
                                           crave for more,
Darling, listen
story of our love is immortal for this reason:
it would be a burning, searing pain,
not destined to be lost in fulfillment,
it would make the stars, brimming
with emotions, sob, sob till it all dissolve,
shedding light, like drops of   hot wax,
till the candle lasts and the wick fights
                                              the dying of the light.