Have you ever been so far down,
You anticipate the thoughts?
Those thoughts, the ones where
You want to end it?
You say it and need the help
Desperately
But can't get it anywhere.

You get it and don't feel better after it.
Come away with the news you expect
Anxiety. Thought so
Depression. Not shocked
Autism. Wait, what?
Oh it's only mild
That's not any better
How do you cope?

Today I collapsed,
The pressure in my head
Forced me down,
while the pressure outside my head
Tries to make me rise up.
In my mind
I’m already dead
Just waiting around
For the final nail
To seal the deal.
Body and mind in the final
Competing for my head
On their wall
Once I’m dead.
What a strange trophy,
Why not an elk instead?
The prestige of killing oneself
The honour of your brain
On a shelf.
The ultimate control,
Until death no longer scares you.

My right hand
The *******
Has a black band
Made of titanium
It means more to me
Than you will ever know
It tells us, we
Are not alone
There are more
Out there
That suffer discrimination
For something you can’t control
For a feeling deep down
You are emasculated
You are called *****
Tree, plant, insect
Snowflake, abused, pious
I wear it as a reminder
I’m not alone
There are more out there
The same as me
A label unbeknownst to most

As we pass in the corridor
You say it. I have
Heard it a hundred times before
So now I implore
What the **** do
I keep taking this **** for?

Once I called you a friend
Now all I want to see
Is you labelled a fiend
For the world to see
So now I implore
What the **** do
I keep taking this **** for?

Every night I go home
Work on things you
Will never understand as
You focus on making others miserable
So now I implore
What the **** do
I keep taking this **** for?

I open my drawer at night
See my gun and think
How nice it would be
To end it all
So now I implore
What the **** do
I keep taking this **** for?

Should we colonise? We are the most
Advanced species, we say it with pride
Yet the fact we fail to realise
Is that as a species we fail to provide
Or properly have resources to divide
Like pirates in the tale of child
We conquer so much it is mild
We are numb to the calling of those
Whom have so little of none
We turn up the nose in selfish acts
But we do not hear the calling of
Those with no-one or nothing
Who still act selflessly, don’t forget
Those like homeless Joe; a veteran of four wars
And would still die for those that he
Knows not or know him not
He asks for nothing, his honour intact
While those with none ask for more.

In your darkest hour
Your truest self is seen
The desperate, the needy
The strong, the lost.

They say there is always
A spark of hope
But a spark can
Always be lost.

The fire can burn
Light a torch to light the way
But you need to blow
On that spark.

The tunnel will have an end
But that speck at the end
Is that spark, blow hard
Light your way through.

Some do not see that spark
It is so far way that
It is invisible. No amount of
Breath will make that spark a fire.

Some pour water on the spark
Some stop the fire before it starts
Some never see the spark
Some don’t see the spark.

Start your own spark
Here is the flint
Here is the steel
Scrape and blow.

No two people are the same
Not doppelgänger, not twins
Each person is different
Science proves this
Religion denies it
Love what makes you different
Embrace how you are unique.

Eyes, hair, voice, mind
They are but a few
Try to copy someone
And show a fake you
Is to deny yourself
The chance to say
This is me.

Why do we discourage people from being different
To those who are abused for being different, remember
You can choose your friends and
You can choose your family
If they won’t accept you
Others will have you.

There are two of me
There are two of you
Who I am; who I show
They are the same embodiment
Of a different mind.

Your private life,
Who cares
Mentally,
Emotionally,
Physically.

Your public life,
All eyes on me
Reputation increase
There are those that do cease
Don’t ever back down.

Those who do not care
With no thought of coloured hair
Have no intention to profess
They have no contest
Freedom of mind

People who think image is all
Try ever hard to be tall
Yet always the small
Caring about vanity
Not so much sanity

I show happy, healthy, jolly me
Yet inside appear none of the three
Oppression, depression, anxiety,
Stress and suicidal tendency
A façade is a beauty.

Fame to make the children sleep
Fame to make the children weep
Fame to make the children learn
Fame to make the children earn

Come now little boys and girls
Let me show you the influencers of our world
Here are several men
One’s an actor, a fireman, a soldier
This one’s a biker, a criminal, a pain creator

Come now little boys and girls
Let me show you who is running our world
We have a bigot, a liar, a thief and a lunatic
And one who’s just too rich

Come now little boys and girls
Let me show you who is ruining your world

Loading in to Watch Dogs
Or be a watch dog
Inhabit a world where I have purpose
With ease of life features
I wish AR devs would
Hurry up with it
Being told who is friend or foe
Leaving less woe
Rising up to my Call of Duty
For Honour of King and country
In a magical realm or
A faraway utopian dystopia
Breaking the laws of physics
That bind us here.

Knowledge and wisdom
So often they are confused
Knowledge is facts and information
Acquired through experience or education
Wisdom is the quality of experience
And good judgement through knowledge
Example, knowledge is knowing
A tomato is a fruit
Wisdom is knowing that
Tomato’s do not belong in fruit salad
If knowledge is power
Then wisdom is the man or woman
Behind that knowledge respecting
But not abusing the power.

We have limited time
Scientists say 30 years
To reverse climate change
However, those that deny facts
Call it a hoax
Stop progress in
Reversing, irreversible damage.
In the next 25-40 years
There will be a shift in power
The likes of which this
World has never seen
Since ****** in Germany
Or the decline of
Imperial Europe.
First we lose oil in
30 years. Then gas
Then coal. I give it
50 years and its all
Gone. As the realization
Kicks in, it will be too late.
Countries will be at war.
They say the first half of
The twentieth century was
The bloodiest time in history
The third world war, a
Mighty scavenge for those
Last barrels of oil, pockets of gas
And lumps of coal
Will have no candle shone
To it by the great wars.
Hundreds of thousands of millions
Will lose their lives
As karma for ignorance and
Denial and lack of action for years
When we act it will be too late
This war will see the use of
Nuclear weapons
No longer a deterrent but a tool
Truth is the first casualty
Of war and the world is
Tinderbox. So the question remains:
Who will light the match and
What lie will we be sold
To justify one’s cause?
Alliances will go out the window,
The only truce will be
The enemy of my enemy is my friend
But your enemy is everyone
So it cuts both ways like
Your friends being cut down beside you
So if the world is a tinderbox
Who will dare to light the match
And who will yield?

We put our lives
In case of emergency
To keep you safe at
Night, while you sleep;
Knights in blue armour
Rough and tough
Men and women ready
For selfless action
So that your slumber
Is peaceful and protected

Grades
Just numbers on a page
So why do they
Say that I am of age
To do one of the five
Jobs where I'll probably rage
Constantly deteriorating minds
At their lack of success
In a fixed race
For a school to impress
A larger group of those
That quite frankly couldn't care less
Provided they get the
Same number of mindless
Workers each year as
Consistency is never to depress
For this is my future
A number that I cannot nurture
All who look at think
They know my nature
So wrong they are
The months of torture
To be just above average

The battle is over
The war is lost
The gun is there
One in the chamber
Hand outstretched
Grab the grip
Pull it closer
Barrel to temple
Trigger press
Hammer down
Regret
Life would have got better
But I did not let it

My head is burning
Wait I am still here
Hand to head
Crispy skin
Perfect circle
No round
Gun jammed
I am alive
Oh God
This second chance
It cannot be wasted
Be the change you wish
To see in the world.

Down goes the hammer
The pressure builds an explosion
With energy enough to pierce
The sound barrier, a metal
Slug, a bringer oof death,
Twists and writhes through the air
Sprawling behind an empty trail
Spiralling and swirling through
The void, an unstoppable force
Until it meets it’s mark.

As the slug bears down
The hammer recoils back ready to hit another
Harbinger of death
Down below the gentle push
Of a trigger as innocent
As a young child, sets the events
In motion to end the life
Of the person who did not
Give incoming fire the right of way

Trust is delicate, more delicate than
Ancient China, silk or spider webs.
Trust is the hardest thing to earn
It can never be bought or bribed
However is so easy to break,
Easier than damp paper
Easier than making water ripple.

If you trust no one, believe me
Your life will go no where
Trust yourself or no one else will
You’re your biggest asset
If someone breaks your trust,
Don’t look to them waiting for them
To ask your forgiveness

Why is it that a cold day
Warms me more inside
Than all the hot summer days
I left far behind
Nothing can heat my soul
No emotion or flame
Makes me hot or happy
My black heart beats
For no one as the
Blood of the snake
Seeps through my veins