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Aug 2018 · 153
When Plans Fall Thru
lbbueno Aug 2018
I.
Under new raindrops I see the same sky differently
Second chance for the 5th time
Loneliness will soon creep under
(but my skin will not prevail this time)
I need to love myself more, quietly
A dream at arms reach
I, only, can get me there
The intensity of your eyes does not compare
to the one in my mind
I'm choosing the quiet to listen to its heartbeat
so I can breathe easy for the first time.

II.
I'm here, even if I'm late
Would've made it sooner if I wasn't so poor and depressed
I was scared before
I'm still scared now
But this is fear on purpose this time
Tamed and slow in speed
The only one in the race is me
Same thought on repeat
'Master of myself, and no one else'
I have everything inside my mind
'Actions are the only words we're remembered by'
I say into the dimly lit silence
My longest companion.

III.
Loyalty comes easy to the trustworthy
Who do I blame when I understand everybody?
I don't like the choices you've made
But who do I think I am
When I've only seen myself in reflections

Maybe I'm living this backwards
Doing everything we say we hate
Hating that we can't get away
Making excuses where there never was one
But you're a god, and so am I
You've chosen burdens different than mine
So who do you think you are
When you've only seen yourself in reflections.
Aug 2018 · 384
You Deserve It
lbbueno Aug 2018
I'm everywhere all at once
In my mind I am making love in Chechnya
But I don't call it that
I am writing a speech for my middle school graduation in Texas
Where all I know is brown and white
I listen to the world news in black market USBs
That I got from a guy at a parking lot
Wondering who am I loyal to
My soul or survival
The freed are never free of everything--
No matter where I go
I am still my father’s seed
The way he carried me
I carry his sins
While creating my own breed--
The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
It will be Instagrammed

I am an egg
Inside a black hole
I am yet to grow old
Because I am yet to be--
I am here,
But my mind is not
As I lay my head to rest
I raise my hopes to wake up tomorrow
More than I did today
Aug 2018 · 461
BUSTELO SUNRISE
lbbueno Aug 2018
I stopped waiting for apologies
When I stopped feeling sorry for myself
Quitters sometimes win;
Winners sometimes need to quit--
As I asked ‘God, why me?’
I realized I was God in the flesh
Stepped into the moment
Instead of making the moment come to me

Are you ready for what's to come
Or will you be in slumber
The plans are set in stone;
I pray while I hold you
To all the gods within me
That you will live forever
Sometimes in my arms
And the other in my dreams

Have you ever seen the sky so perfectly
As the night when you first felt free
I promise to use my money for the greater good instead of the greater will--
We sometimes get confused
So promise that you'll pay my dues
Give me joy and give me strength
It's all that I'm owed
So I can love forever the one who
Lies beside me.

— The End —