you're like sunlight, you light me up and show me the way when i'm around you
but
i cannot stay with you for too long or you'll burn me.

don't tell me you love me.

don't tell me you loved me if you broke me.

don't tell me you love me if you manipulated me.

don't tell me you love me if you wanted her body.

don't tell me you love me if you left me.

don't tell me you love me,

because you're lying.

sometimes to fix a broken heart,

you have to hurt it even more than the last time

it was in pain.

stick thin,

i want to be envied by girls
not the envious.

stick thin,

i want to see my ribs bulge out of my skin.

stick thin,

i want my wrist to be as small as 7 year olds.

stick thin,

i want to be as small as my self esteem.

can you hear my screaming silence
from where you're sitting?

can you hear my bleeding depression that seldom
slips out of my pale moon lips?

can you see my suffocating pain thats written in my eyes? its in fine print, but it is there.


can you see me? i am dying.

sometimes i scare myself so bad,

i want to runaway from my own mind.

my brain is working overtime

until it eventually

breaks

loving you feels so good,

but hurts so bad.

dance through the pain
everyone cries to.

feelings often get in the way.

when my poetry draws a picture in your mind,
what do you see?

do you see a scared little girl?
                     or
do you see a strong women?

14 year old girls in my high school are out here getting pregnant, mean while i cant even get a boy to text me back?

if i told you it was love, would you believe me?

i can't do it.
i can't go on another day, depressed and not loved.

wait.
not loved?
what?
i'm loved?

i'm loved right?

the old light bulb is my mind,
constantly flickering from on and off,

but i can't fix it, not even with my tools.

i don't want be here,
i want to be alone.
i just wanna end it.

am i loved?
wait.
when was the last time someone said they loved me?
i'm not loved?
i'm loved.
i'm loved right?

i'm scared it's dark,
and it keeps getting darker.

where's the light?

was there a light?
i don't know.

thats stupid.
i'm stupid.

when did my safety,
become victimized by a gun?

what made you want to s
                                             h
                                               o
                                                 o
                                                   t   a gun at our future?
what made you want to h
                                          u
                   ­                      r
                                       t  us?


when did my safety become the 2nd priority?

i've seen things, but all the wrong sights.

i've heard things, but all the wrong words.

i've done things, but all the wrong doings.

i do not write to impress,
i write express me.

if you do not like it,
could you please leave.

i would give all i own,
everything i will own,

to feel pain again,

because i don't feel anything.

I understand pain is horrible
but how can it be more terrible

than this infinite silence that lives inside of me?

i died a long time ago,
but i'm still here.

my body is here,
but without a soul.

i've  
       been
               feeling          
                           so
                                     u
                                         n
                                             i
                                               n
                                                  s
                                                    p
                                                       i
                                                          r
                                                            e
                                                              d

what happens when one star dies, in the sky of one million?

does the whole sky seem dimmer?

or does it stay the same?

what do you think of me and my poems?

boys like girls

girls like boys

boys like boys

girls like girls

i am trying to cut myself out of this body.