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 May 2020 Lanz Gabor
Gem Palomar
I visit graves once and lay flowers, then leave
I lay flowers on the grave of fireflies
Where once a light so bright, shined
I lay flowers on the grave of butterflies
Where wings once flapped and swayed
I lay them on the graves of children
Where warm laughters once echoed

But I came across the grave of your heart
And instead of leaving flowers,
I planted the seed of my heart
Seeds of spring, warmth, and hope
It was the only grave I ever came back to

Grave visitors are forbidden to visit again
More so, they are forbidden to plant
But I visited yours everyday and never missed
I tended the seed that I planted
When graves are watered with rain and love
Will the light pass through the cracks?
Would roses bloom on hearts that died?

Roses bloomed, and my time has come
While you thrive, I'll vanish as a punishment
For the grave visitor laid his heart for love
Perhaps, my darling, in another life
I wouldn't have to die to bring back life to you
Do you
sometimes think
about what could have
gone right
or do you
only think
about all the things
that went wrong?

Do you
ever think
of all the things
we should have done
or all the things
we shouldn’t have
and wonder
back to the day
our love was still strong?

Maybe you do
and maybe you don’t,
but it doesn’t
matter now
because all we can do
is look back
at all our lapses
and smile.

Because our love
was young,
and we both
just decided
to grow up.
It’s really hard to admit
that maybe
what I’m feeling for you,
is nothing
compared to the feelings you have
for her,
and I swear to God,
I wish
more than anything in this world
that I was
the girl you feel a million things for.
When you smile
and when you laugh,
when you’ve stumbled
and ended up last.

When you feel down
and you just want to cry,
cry all those tears on me now,
don’t be shy.

I’d just be here,
with every bit of me.
I’ll help you up,
and maybe eventually.

The next time you smile
and the next time you’ll laugh,
you’ll pick yourself up
and your happiness will last.

The next time you feel down
and when you just want to cry,
you’ll win the fight this time
and you will soar so high.

And I’d just be here,
with every bit of me.
I’ll always help you,
if you will still remember me.
When you’re happy,
I catch your smile.
When you’re saddened,
I’ll run the extra mile.
Just to see you glad again,
even for just a while.

When you’re afraid,
I’ll help you to the top.
When you need a hand,
I’ll lift you up.
For even when you go,
I will try to catch up.
It’s kind of ironic
the way everything I do
is the complete opposite
of what’s going on with you.
When you are sad,
I try to make you glad,
and when you are down,
I try to lift your frown.
But oh, the irony,
it hits right here
when I tell you to come near,
for while my heart is yours,
my eyes allow a tear,
because my heart truly knows,
that your heart is not here.
You make me feel
a million things
and it makes me wonder,
“Is this how he feels
towards her?”
What if we leave together
and never be found again?
What if we get on a bus,
or take your car,
and you’ll drive far away,
farther than anyone can?

What if we move in together,
and live in a place,
where we can build and call our own?
You could take the pieces,
from my heart,
so you’ll never be all alone.

And it’ll just be us,
you and me amidst the chaos,
that is life with all its beauty.
With anything and everything,
I’ll be here for you,
even if we cannot be.

But, my dear,
I have your back,
up until our very last days.
I will be here,
and never disappear,
even when we part our ways.
When we exchange
small smiles together
and when we laugh
with one another,
I cannot help,
but allow my heart
to flutter over and over.

— The End —