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Jenn May 25
i don't want to get too close
you seem almost
perfect
you like when i kiss your neck
why do i almost feel nothing
should i tell you i'm not emotionally available?
because to be honest
i'm emotionally exhausted
from him
and him
and him
and him.
will you be like them?
Jenn May 25
dissociating again.
once again.
but this should be a happy moment
at brusters ice cream.
you're so heckin cute.
you like thrifting too?
and to think..
i almost blew you off completely..
because online you seemed
just like an average guy.
but heck;
im an average girl
aren't i?
but we can't stop talking.
we giggle during what would be
awkward silences.
wow.
and Aquarius;
just the thought of you is..
dreamy..
well here i am,
kissing you goodbye,
outside ulta
at 12:30
Jenn May 25
he said
another message
you're the only one i like
another
please can i take you out
wow
i guess
my plan for validation
was successful
Jenn May 25
is why I can't stop
thinking of you.
Why does it seem
like so quickly
I fell for you.
It makes no sense.
Here I am,
begging to marry a man,
when you're right there.
So close,
yet so far from me.
All I want is you.
I never thought
you'd be standing there,
thinking of me.
Jenn May 25
and writing a poem
about a guy named jack
he's perfect
its crazy
am i dreaming?
i know drd has me asking
is this real?
is he real?
this is too good to be true
i look at my fiance
one who hasn't even noticed i took off my ring,
when jack notices everything
he's understanding,
doesn't need me to explain myself?
am i sabotaging my relationship?
what am i doing
why cant i stop
i think im
falling
Jenn May 25
so
I met a guy,
online,
named Jack.
He's gorgeous.
He's sweet.
He makes me think..
about all the things i've done in my life;
Why am i here?
He's beautiful.
He's nice.
He has the most **** body;
one that I want..
He's amazing.
He's smart.
I think someone is perfect.
He's picky.
He's cute,
and I like him a lot.
His name is Jack.
Jenn Dec 2018
I’m a trust fund baby
but not your typical inherent
my mom controls it
just like she controlled my father
when he was alive
she manipulates me
like she did him

she doesn’t actually
support me
unless its what she wants

she tells me to move to SC with her
so I wont be with him
she tells me to pay something
that comes out of my trust anyway
so she’ll get what she wants

she act like she cares
but she doesn’t
she “gifts” me MY money
and acts like its hers
when its not hers
to give

everyone I tell
tells me to get a lawyer
to take legal action against her
but I bite my tongue

if only she knew
how I really felt

she’ll know
once I’m 25
and the money
is in my name..

I’ll never speak to her again.
please don’t tell me “family is forever” or that I “should forgive her” because you don’t have to keep ties with a family member who is toxic to you.
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