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Jun 2020 · 122
Stop Expecting
Laksmi Dewi Jun 2020
When the blade touch your skin
Will it bleeds?
Or will the blade be in love with your skin?
Does it love to hurts?
Does the blade knows?

Pain
Who never feel pain?
I guess everyone does
But can you feel other's pain?
No, darling
You can only knew their stories
But not their pain
You're not in their shoes

World
No matter how many people live in it
You'll always left alone
Who truly cares?
They care when it's too late
They care only if it's worthy enough

You
Stop expecting
What do you know about other people?
Don't ask God
He remains silent
Just stop expecting
Or the blades will cut deeper
Jan 2020 · 181
It's Time to Let Go
Laksmi Dewi Jan 2020
You used to be the sun to me
When I was kept in the dark
You were the only one
Who made me feel like I was ready to give it all out
You were the one who I trust the most
Maybe I was wrong

You used to be the one who listened even when you're at your worst
But now
Every single word that come from my mouth
Every little thing that I used to do before
Makes you want to walk away
Walk away from me

Maybe we're just tired
Our love still remain
Maybe the time become so cruel
That we have to leave
Maybe it's the distance
That makes us hard to understand each other

And it's time for me
To walk away
and never come back
Feb 2019 · 765
You Don't Love Me
Laksmi Dewi Feb 2019
Each day
I have this urge
To drown myself into the deep dark river

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine"

No, I'm hurting

I'm hurting because of you

"Okay, I love you"

"I love you too"

No, you don't

You wouldn't do this, you wouldn't hurt me

You don't love me, you just don't want the others have my attention

You don't love me, you just want to feel needed
Jan 2019 · 454
Gone
Laksmi Dewi Jan 2019
Maybe it's the way we see the world that makes us different.
Maybe it's the way we see each other that makes us learn how to love.
Maybe it's our anger that separates us.


or maybe...

Your love is gone and you don't want me anymore.
Oct 2018 · 176
He didn't care
Laksmi Dewi Oct 2018
Tears falling down

Heart has been shattered

Empty gaze

She was never good with words

She was never good at showing her love for him

She was drowned by the reality

She was lost


He is the sun for her

She lets herself burnt, trying to hug him

Never knew, love could be this smother

It slowly kills her

Suffocated

Dying


If only he knew

How much she cried

How much she hid the tears

How much the pain she felt

But he didn't care......
Sep 2018 · 189
Distance
Laksmi Dewi Sep 2018
Distance
an amount of space between two things or people
That's what I knew of what distance means,
before I met you

Never seen distance as a barrier,
but here I am
Wishing this barrier to be vanished
and be held in your arms
right in this moment
Sep 2018 · 758
Shattered
Laksmi Dewi Sep 2018
I don't know how it all first started

All I knew was you came like the sun in rainy days

Joyful, warm, delightful

But I was too in love with the rain

Even when you shined brightly


But you didn't give it all up

You stayed

You were always there, when I locked myself in the dark

What a senseless silly girl, I was

What an ignorant person I was


I never knew that stranger could make me smile this wide again

I never knew that stranger could make me laugh this much

I never knew that stranger could make me feel loved

I never knew that...

I would fell for that person who was a stranger to me


I once told myself

I promised myself not to involve your feeling into anyone or anything

But I guess I'm just fooling myself as the clock ticking

The more we talked, the deeper I fell for you

I couldn't help myself but to let myself fell

Hoping you would catch me


But, again, I forgot that someone said that falling is hurt

But I'm loving every minute of it

I enjoyed every pieces of my heart that had been shattered

Hoping that you would heal me



But, expectation is a cruel *******

You never get what you want

It only leads you to another brokenheart

So I stay here, with every pieces left, trying to build walls

And go back to my old self
Sep 2018 · 151
Reflection
Laksmi Dewi Sep 2018
I walked through the lonely road and all I saw was darkness.
"Why am I here?", I asked myself.
I felt like I've been here yesterday.
Was it a dejavu?
The road was so empty, yet all I heard was a woman screaming for help.
I couldn't see the light in the end of the road.
I couldn't find the woman.
I couldn't do anything until I realized it was me.
It was me, the woman who screamed for help.
Now I can see her clearly, my reflection.
The calm on her face is an ongoing sin.
I know, it's all a lie.
I still can hear the sounds of her screaming, it's resonancing.
She says, "Please remove the mask I've been wearing for the past few years"
With a smile in her face, she continues "I've been waiting for someone to remove it, but no one care enough to remove it"
I begin to ask myself "Why do I let this happen to myself?"
How can I love someone else more than I love myself.
Most people just turn the other cheek.
Most people wouldn't care.
Most people turn their back and go.
They've been doing it for years.
But I must face the pain I see, in my own reflection.
Sep 2018 · 114
No Meaning
Laksmi Dewi Sep 2018
I could see my arms wrapped around the world
But didnt seem to keep you inside
My arms were just another alternative
To you

How do you explain this kind of feeling?
Caring
Worrying about someone
All I want to do is to save him

I've heard one said,
"In order to care for another,
you must first want what they want,
feel what they feel,
and know what they need."

Maybe, I'm just too conceited, arrogant, rude, and ignorant
I caused so many chaos
An ego trip
A never ending debate
Can't seem to decide
Which side is right, which side is wrong
Yet, the arguments remain

Or maybe,
Maybe, the words that came from my mouth
are just another empty words that have no meaning
at all.
Sep 2018 · 1.7k
Blissfulness
Laksmi Dewi Sep 2018
Once upon a solitude night in September
I caught the shadow of a stranger
It left me with a puzzled mind and a puzzled heart
Trying to figure it all at once
I kept questioning "Who is he? Is he real? Is he just a lie I make for myself?"
Clueless me, with a soul of a centaur, seeking for a truth
I walked into his shadow, slowly
Didn't know it'll take me to the real shape of someone, someone real
I looked at him
And it felt like epiphany

Once upon an ineffable day in October
The sun was shining and setting blissfully
We talked, he looked at me right in my soul
What a familiar stranger you were
Such a perfect contradiction
Dark and bright
Cold and warm
A serious man and a playful child
I felt like I don't know him but yet it felt like I knew him from the start
He rescued me from deserted, hopeless space where I once belong
And he was no more a stranger to me

Once upon a day in mid-November
The lightning strucked from every stance
Everything seemed to have fallen apart
and the darkest past still run to chase both of us
That's when I knew, even before I realized
that maybe I fell for him
with every pieces that remains

And now, in the end of cold December
I will ask him
To consider being my partner in crime
to help me continue writing our story
It might be blindingly beautiful
It could also be terribly tragic
but maybe
We will be some of the lucky ones
who will one day find a true bliss
Hopefully

— The End —