i feel this empty cavern in my chest
it's not a new feeling
only this time it's for a different reason
i know i can't be with him
i've tried this all before
gone through all this pain already
i thought i learned my lesson
about falling for him
about letting my feelings get in the way of our friendship
i know that i mess things up
i'm sorry that i can't be the perfect friend
i'll try to be better
to not let this happen again
don't leave me
not when i need you the most
Falling apart piece by piece
Soon enough there won't be anything left
I won't be recognizable
I'll only be pieces of myself
Pieces that won't come back together
No matter how hard I try
I can't ever be my full self again
Not the one my mom wants back
Not the one my family remembers
But only pieces
Pieces that no one wants
Pieces that dont glue back together
I fell myself falling
And there's no stopping it now
my mom placed me on suicide watch last night
she said that she's scared of what i'll do
what i'll do if i'm pushed too far
she told me that she's concerned
for my well-being
that i have too much on my plate
i told her that she was wrong
that i'm fine
no need to worry
as the day goes on
i'm starting to worry too.
today i put myself on suicide watch
because who knows what i'll do
when i'm pushed to the edge
She told me it was her heart
Something was wrong with it
That she needed to see the doctor.
She said that everything would be okay
And not to worry.
She’s really sick now
She can barely breathe
I tell her not to give up
To keep fighting
To look death in the eye and tell him to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine.
And tells me that when it’s her time, she’ll know
She thinks it’s soon
I’m not ready.
Death takes the beautiful ones
The ones with the purest souls
The ones who aren’t quite done living
The ones who didn’t deserve it
Death takes without remorse
Death doesn’t leave a note
And never gives
Death has taken from me
It’s too many
Too many gone
In a short time period
She was so young
So excited for the future
Death took her like he took the rest
Suddenly and without warning
She’s ready to give up the fight
To let death win
Let him win the race of life
The race that not only leaves you breathless
But with a tight feeling in your chest
One that never leaves.
Death inevitably wins
As this is one race, that humans have no chance in winning.
I want you
He wants you
You want me
But you're scared
Scared of what your parents will say
Scared of the people at school
Scared of hurting me
Scared of yourself.
I want you
And I know you want this too
So whats stopping you?
Who says you can't be mine?
Scared that I'll go off the deep end.
Scared that I'll do something I regret.
Scared that I'll hurt the ones I love.
Life is hard right now.
Life is definitely not on my side at the moment.
I have so much stress
Way too much for a highschool student.
And this time my friends are too.