I love you.
But not in the way it's been rumored that the both of us tend to do.
I love you because you're always there for me.
I love you because when I crash and burn you tell me it'll work out perfectly, just wait and see.
I love you the way I loved my sister before she went away.
I love you the way I would've loved my mother if she'd cared for me in any way.
I don't love you the way I was cruelly fated to love he who hurt you.
I love you the way children do;
Innocently,
Because you're the only one who truly understands me.
When I'm crying,
When I feel like dying,
You tell me I'm strong enough and that I deserve to be happy,
And that you love me.

I wonder if I even give a **** about myself
If I love my health or love the idea of loving them more
Whether the bottles are red capped or full of liquor that's brown
I feel so much warmer on the inside when it's around
I wonder if the heredity is getting the best of me
Because you see since I began it seems my father has resumed
You think the possibility of being alike is adorable
But in my case it's deplorable
To my wellbeing it isn't affordable
But I can't make that budget cut to my psyche
I'd rather buy a bottle of Bourbon than some new Nikes
Is it likely that maybe insecurities fall into obscurity when I'm being loved by all of my impurities?
That I'm hating on the **** that I'm making because my sober mind is murdering all of my thoughts?
I'm undertaking
Putting pressure upon my person to see no one's gonna feel pity when you're in the streets
Find a way
Find the time
Dance around
Write a rhyme
Do whatever you can to **** some time and distract your brain from saying liquor will keep you in your prime
-zaba

Your pessimism is poisonous
Your apathy a drug
That I inject into my eyeballs
And try to call it love
I hate the way you frown at me
When you smile at your friends
Your curly hair is a bouncing castle
I can't wait for your empire's end
I try to wallow in your silence
Love you in your wall of hate
When you're sad because your boyfriend left
In a tirade of hate
I cry crystals of despondence
As you whistle your world away
I try to love you from the outside
And when I go in, you don't let me stay
I feel you text me just to pacify me
To hold in my cries and ratify the inappropriate banter that I'm scribbling
My fingers in your body as we're both fiddling
Diddling in your causes of danger and your mind is the manger
Where the savior refuses to lay his head
You must not be in the mood for anybody or anything
I'm just a sad little girl, there's only trouble I will bring
The ways in which you want me seem to change like the weather
Something in my head says I want us to be together
But i recall how temporary your intricate happiness is
But it all becomes irrelevant when I'm near your warm skin
-zaba

And I learned that I should watch my mouth
Inspect the words I blurt out before they come about
Manifest into knives and cut the feelings of the listener
******* off as a natural born sinner
The friends become thinner as I manage to cut ties with my own teeth
I beat my brain and cheeks with suffering secondhand
I give birth to the bad but refuse to raise it.
-zaba