I wonder if,
nightmares are from the monsters trying to be free
I can sometimes feel them
Seeping into my being in my slumber
Taking over my frame of mind so that the facets of glass leave me blind to any sign of light in the dark.
It's so dark here
And I'm fumbling for function like fumbling for the right words and moments of clarity  these typewriter lines make incoherent sentences
and I but I can't be stop be heard
Because nightmare-sleep leaves me a victim
And I can't erase it,  
Can't escape it
Backspace doesn't exist in the dreamworld
Where reality is a distant memory,
Until the blank spaces and missteps
Get covered up by white out and wishes of waking up in the morning to a day where there are no monsters hiding behind my eyes

I wonder if,
nightmares are from the monsters trying to break free
They bite at their chains
Claw at their prison
Fight for what freedom they have as they baptize my mind with the coldness of their poison,
Neurotoxin making my nerves go hay wire,
Entrapping me in a trance
I try to escape
Not letting me break from the pain that they inflict on my brain and body
Assault and battery convicts stampeding  like elephants across my minds eye making me beg for control
But the guards aren't in charge of the prison anymore
It's so cold here

I think monsters use
nightmares to break free
Because when the sun rises again
I'm left with the scars
And it's a battle to let them stay behind the facade of,
"Everything's alright"
Depression presses through the fake smiles and laughs,
And stretches the sinews of my hope until they scream,
Scream at the world to stop spinning
And until I wake up
The ash and dust that is my temporary refuge
suffocates the hope of my escape from reality
And makes my nightmares come true
Because when we have nightmares we are prisoners too.
It's so lonely here
all in my head
Where reality is a distant memory,
And wishes of waking up in the morning to a day where there are no monsters hiding behind my eyes
Dance across my subconscious
Like stars in the sky,

I wonder what would happen if I let the monsters free,
Let them out of their chains
Freed them of their cages and let them crawl out of my mouth with the wind of my breathing letting them take flight and disappear in the distance.
I wonder if they would come back thinking my mess of a mind is where they belonged or if they would take refuge with the skeletons in my closet and comeback to haunt me.
I'll let them out
Watch them fly away
And go to sleep

The damage they left behind is still there
But,
It's not so dark here anymore...

Falling

Falling
With a pair of broken wings and a pained smile on my face as I once again, put on a facade for you,
And wishing I hadn't
Cause putting on the mask of a brave man who thinks he can conquer the world only goes so far as taking that first step,
And I,
I haven't taken it
I've been floating too much in the so far away land of dreams, with galaxies at my finger tips thinking that the bright shining thing in my hands was hope
But it was only expectations
Wishes that were those oh so close but oh so far pots of gold that were just over the rainbow
Cause we all know that if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence we will do everything we can to get there
Not knowing that maybe everything is fine where we are now.

See I was once weightless
No need to worry about tomorrow cause today was what I was living for and the past didn't feel the need to stalk me all the time,
And it's all that it does,
It's in my sleep
My waking dreams
My moments of joy
My misery
The past is that one guy you've known your whole life but didn't realize that he knew you more than you knew yourself
My past has passed the line from staying in my closet to hiding under my bed,
Haunting me
I can hear the crackling of his bones
Trying to slowly take away my hope like a monster takes away a child's innocence
Their weightlessness
And the gravity of the situation is that gravity really only felt the need to fall onto my spine when I told myself,
Wait
I guess it misunderstood that for the word weight cause that's all I have on my shoulders now.
Dead weight that were once wings
So please,
Help me fly again,

Help,
Me,
Fly,
Because I now realize that I'm the only elephant in the room with wings
The one willing to admit he's afraid and still hide in his prison instead of escaping, and yet still hating being alone but unwilling to admit that fear is what controls me.
Stay awake,
That little voice that tickles like the wind like hope on a hot day
I'm trying to find the faults between the lines
Don't know where I'm going
No measure of time,
But i realize now that I see  this finger painted sky.
So every time I close my eyes
It's what I see
It's the way I find hope in this misery.
With a menagerie of feelings to try to control
I'm falling to fill this gaping hole, of emptiness,
Like the facsimile of what humanity was meant to be,
Like metal shells of empty trees
We are only trying to fill this empty God sized hole, of what life used to be
So what I used to be is only able to be free
If I can only stop gravity,
Stop the falling and expectations and turn them into realities
Turn life of eternal falling into a masterpiece
With a painted sky and this raging river of life beneath me
I can finally see that mask on my face is supposed to hide a pained smile.
But I'm not doing it for you,
I'm doing it to hide me,
But i realize now that hiding behind this mask is like trying to go against gravity I'll just let hope take over me.
So, thank you my friend,
You helped me fly, again.