I sit in a forest, with my back against a large oak,
and listen. Among rustling leaves and
whining cicadas I hear something else.
Something larger.

It's moving through the forest on jointed legs,
snapping the branches of century old trees.
An insect the size of a castle. It lets out a cry.
Sounds like a thousand year old whale's
death rattle. The cicadas stop whining and I
shudder.

It's heading to the lake to breed,
or to die. Their kind begins and ends in water.
Very morbid creatures, they are.

I can feel its steps shake the earth as it comes
closer and then I see it. Ten long, jointed legs
support the bulk of the thing. It towers over me,
silver. Its shell is a knight's armour and its red
eyes are the devil's. I stand up in awe of the
colossal bug as it lumbers past me, blocking the sun
and casting me in shadow for a while.

I light a cigarette and listen to it move through the forest.
Eventually, I can't hear it anymore and the cicadas
start to whine again.

Letting this hurt will be my method of coping.
When you take my heart, please put it in your mouth and devour it.
Don't leave me silently.
Slam doors,
Break glass,
Leave bruises,
Yell until Hell hears you.
If you're going to rip me open, sharpen your teeth first and
make sure I'm wide awake.
Run at me full speed with a loaded gun and every intention of pulling the trigger.
Leave me with scars and an unquenchable emptiness that I'll notice for months.
And when you kiss me goodbye,
spit gas down my throat.
And before you walk out, don't forget to toss me the burning match.
If you don't love me so it hurts, you might as well leave me so it does.

A mess of stress I'd ask for less
My guts in knots my brain is mush
I don't know what I want
I feel I'll never know
So whats the point?

Stop time.

I would pick the exact time you decided to stay.
And then, we would be able to stay just like that
Forever.

My whole life has changed since you've come in, in such a beautiful way.
You're my best friend, the love of my life, and such an abundant blessing to this world.
You remind me who I really am, when I feel lost in my emotions.
You're love brings peace, smiles, uncontrollable laughter, you brighten up every moment that you are with me just by being there.
You make me feel whole, you make me feel like a somebody and far beyond that, you tell me day after day of my worth.
I wanna grow in God with you,
I love praying for you.
For your happiness, for your health, for you to have energy to press through another hard day when you have one, I pray for stress relief over you, I ask God to bring you strength through adversity in your life, for you to have joy that over flows, and so much more!
You're not God and I do not try to replace you with him but I feel whole when I am by your side.
I forget every challenge that I am facing, you give me a reason to want to fight for success, to fight for me when I cant find another.
I brush off loneliness, hatred, impatience, and anything holding me back when I think of you,
because when I think of you, I always smile and I just cant help it but be happy when you're on my mind.
I always hope for the best with you, I will always cheer you on,
always pray for you, because I love you:)

When I think of all the times you've made me smile,
I love you.
When I think of all that we have gone through, pushed through to get here,
I love you.
When I think of every fight we have had,
I love you.
When I think of all the times I have missed you,
I love you.
When you make me laugh,
I love you.
When you say something rude and un called for
I love you
When I am wrong and you put me in my place,
I love you.
When I think of times that you've made a false step,
I love you.
When I think of your adorable dimples accenting your cheeks when you laugh,
I smile:)
When you're mad at me, and raise your voice,
I love you,
Because I do.
Nothing you do could ever change my love for you.

So much lead up to the day I said "I love you"
I meant it.
I was overly confident about knowing my love for you.
I was so for sure.
And i still am!
After every night wee stayed up fighting,
after every time I hurt your feelings,
after every amazing moment that i have spent with you,
after every "I love You"
after every "hello" and "goodbye"
after every kiss,
and after every day,
I am still just as sure,
as the very first day I spoke those words to you.
I love you,
and I always will:)

...unless it's with me.

Dating you is anti-climatic
and I'd be ****** if I ever
succumb to a part of me
begging to be cut loose from you.

I don't want to be swallowed by
the euphoria derived from
vintage pictures and videos;
I know that the saccharine
comfort will be both
short-lived and lachrymose.

I don't want to have to
flip through your new pictures daily,
searching for remnants of the love we shared
through the new love you'd then be experiencing.

Usually,
I'd wish nothing but the best
but I want the worse for you.

My mental is too detrimental
to handle you and another.
I don't want to wake up
from constant nightmares
leaving my stomach tied in knots
you'd only see on TV.

I don't want to sit at family dinners alone
when you were suppose to be there with me.
I don't want to have to look at chocolate desserts
and remember how it's your favorite
so although I detest chocolate,
I eat it anyway to somehow
suppress the feeling of you not being there.

I don't want to watch you fall in love with another.
You carry a part of me
every time you're apart from me
and I'd rather you cheat
than to follow what seems like tradition
and leave.

I don't want to watch you fall in love with another.
I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve
and I'm down on both knees
pleading please,
oh please

I don't want to watch you fall in love
...unless it's with me.