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Apr 14 · 32
Dolly for you
T J W Apr 14
Angry at my naivety I thought I never had
believing I'm more than the body I have
I felt when you laid eyes on me
cream and gold
sparkly with freedom
playing it cool with my fuel
nearly three years but oh how I remember that gaze
predatory with entitlement I believed you had
one more drink to lose the inhibitions
English and easy
thinking I'm desired
too drunk to think
while you were ready to drive
I started to say no
weakened by your kissing
nothing concrete
I'm left with only a blur
welcome to adulthood little dolly
naive and pretty
you had a girlfriend and I was easy
little dolly drunk and jolly
I laid under those stars shooting
while you believed I was yours to loot
you knew all along your plans for your dolly
Dec 2018 · 260
The Pill
T J W Dec 2018
back and better than ever
so distant and numb
completely frozen in an never ending ****
a different speed
walking alone in a blur
able to survive the ingrained routine
but by night
that's when it creeps up on you
that unbearable pain in your chest
sobbing completely alone
wanting to give up more than ever
unable to care about the promised better future
stuck in only know
thinking it will never change
a prisoner of irrationality
lost in how it makes you feel
it told me there's no way out but to leave
it wasn't me
it changed me
took over me
it didn't let me write
only know as it has been weakened
Nov 2018 · 117
One of those days
T J W Nov 2018
One of those days where everything is too much
you feel the weight of everyone's expression
words and emotions drag you down
suffocating your fight
every sentence slowly drains you
every light is too bright
noise piercing your every cell to the core
the sky begins to fall on you
gravity against you
your body is dragged down
the pressure is too much to bare
the world weighing down your mind
your mind weighing down the world
the ache for silence
the need to be alone
the anchor of life's energy attached to you
the demand of everything needing to be felt
the prison of forced empathy
one of those days where you feel everything
Nov 2018 · 242
I fear
T J W Nov 2018
I fear living for someone
centring someone in my universe
I fear not not wanting to be alone
constant noise in my silence
I fear wasting my time on someone
putting my life on hold for them to leave
I fear a lifetime of small talk
being a product of their routines and races
I fear not finding belonging
not being in control
I fear the prison of my mind
never finding the person I don't fear with
I fear not being special in the insignificance
never being not afraid to be vulnerable
I fear only existing
Nov 2018 · 247
Haze
T J W Nov 2018
It's all a haze
a frustrating haze
feeling too much
thinking so deeply
I see the outside life
the routine
the race
a bystander watching
the life we're all abosrbed into
I can't explain
I can't put into words
It's too big
too complex for the limit of our vocabulary
I'm left here in a haze
looking for the words
truth will never just be there
hidden
behind the focus we are taught to see
I'm trying to see
It's all a haze
Nov 2018 · 260
Alaska
T J W Nov 2018
You're a dangerous place
but I can't help it
your darkness intrigues me
you pull me in
I find myself coming back to you
you change me
how I feel
how I look
how I think
in silence you're all I hear
lost in darkness around you
so powerful
so strong
something, someone no one understands
unfamilarity but I want more
you drain me
you take every ounce of energy I have
but you're above all
your knowledge
your ability
I must know more
you're my bestfriend
you're my enemy
Alaska
Nov 2018 · 799
Red
T J W Nov 2018
Red
a stare to get what you want
a gaze that manipulates
a seduction that will always leave you wanting more
a demon dressed as a daydream
evil disguised as elegance
Red will win everytime
it will entice you
play with you
control you
pierce your soul
you will never understand red
it will dominate you
a fire you can't help but fall into
Red bites your lips with only the eyes
a confidence you wish you had
Red will get you everytime

— The End —