when i laid my heart on the table ,
at the first moment we met ,
did you not see
the red flags
woven together to form
a beating,
bleeding vessel?

i warned you of my flaws
u said it was okay
i told you i wasn't stable and that "crazy" wasn't an unfamiliar term
and you told me nothing could be worse than what you'd already seen.

but here we are again, in this
familiar conversation -
different person ,
same sentiment.
"you need help."

i'll bring you
my paint stained body
if you promise to look at
each splatter ,
each accidental stroke
as their own
individual
works of art .

bring me your
cracked and broken hands
to love and adore
for the home they've built ,
for the warmth they give
and ill hold them
forever
in mine.

i often find myself pausing
in front of each passing
bouquet,
in hopes that you'll
notice my longing gaze ,
pick up a bundle and
place them in my hands
with a smile that whispers ,
" they're yours" .

but today
you weren't there next me,
and the temptations grew sweeter
as the smell of the petals did, too.

so i fell into
their intoxicating aroma and
their blushing petals as
they fell into my basket.

from the eyes of the Heavens,
Aphrodite
saw you bloom.
she watched your
beauty grow,
rather than pruning
the jealousy
of her own
heart.

You felt her gaze
upon you,
and became bashful
and ashamed.
But your elegance is
not your
definition.

Zeus,
the Father of Olympus,
took one glance at you
and knew
that your loveliness
was not your
significance.
He saw
your purpose,
and turned the focus
from your blushing petals,
to your roots
that hold the ability to heal.

from your very core,
your beauty has
come from
your healing.

Bask in your truth,
my flower.

you weaved your way
through each level of my
humanity...

i let you into my curious
mind
and somehow,
you invaded my reticent
heart.
i showed you my maimed and scarred
body
and entrusted you with my bare, naked
soul.

...and after you'd seen me in
whole,
and realized that im a
settlement -
never to be an explorers
home,
you abandoned
what you had once
so carefully
mapped.

i gave you my
everything
and you wished i kept
some for
myself

i gave you my
life
and it wasn't enough

i tried to give you my
death
and you didnt want it

you didnt want me
you dont want me

how do i stop
longing for
you?

with every breath i draw,
im taking you in.
with every sight i behold,
im reminded that the most wonderful
is you.
with every intrusive sound
that rings through my ears,
im brought back to your melodic voice.

even when youre 558 miles from me
your presence is everywhere,
my love.