The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.
A little escape from the madness.
Or maybe, into.
Aches. Pains.
When does it stop?
From one year old,
all I endure was aches and pain.
Stiff. Crack. Pop. Joint.
The words to my disease.  
Rheumatoid. Arthritis.

From a child,
all I was told to take these pills to help the pain.
The pills that were suppose to be magical as I was told as a child.
Magical pills to take the ease of the aches and pain.

Time has pass, as I am older than now and still dealing with the aches and pain.
I learned to not let those words define me but reshape me.
Make me whole and accept that I am me.
I am stronger today than I was yesterday.
Yes the pain doesn't stop
But what I can control is my thoughts on my disease.
Stiff. Crack. Pop. Joint.
Those words will follow me to the endless of time
It will not control me.
The sun is sleeping while the moon is awake to its turn to shine bright in the sky.
Look up in the sky and you can see the stars shining brighting with the moon.
I’m awake.
Consolidating over my thoughts.
Music is playing to ease the many thoughts that are running through my mind.
Have you wonder why do we sleep when the sun is also sleeping?
But really the sun is not sleeping, it’s on the on the side of the world shining brought for others to see the distance of light.
I stare into space within these four walls of mine.
What holds my personal belongs.
What expresses some of inch of who I am.
What keeps my heart entirely part from the rest.
These four walls is what I call own space.
Where my bed belongs at the time being.
The bed that hold the memories of myself.
The memories that lingers in my mind.
As I lay here and stare into space,
I feel that frustration of just wanting to quit.
But then same time I can not quit.
These four walls that keep me sane when I am wanting to unleash the beast.
Where I can pump my music loud without being disturb.
Where I can unleash my creativity at the time being.
These four walls where I stare into space is what I can call my own until I can have more walls with multiple rooms and tremendous space of my own.
I am the stars.
When you look up into the dark sky
and you see the moon and the stars,
think of me.
Because I am the star,
shining bright for you.
Remember me.
Remember the first time we talked and I made you smile.
Remember the first time I made you laugh.
Remember the first time you saw me
and you wanted me as yours.
The woman that you could love.
The woman you felt so easily to trust.
The woman that made you feel love in many ways that others could not.
Think of me.
Think of what memories we could both have together.
Think of how I made your heart flutter.
Think of how I made you moan for me.
Feel the stars.
Feel my hands in yours.
Feel my body on yours.
Feel my kisses only for you.
Now, remember us.
Us, that will build within each other.
Us, is what you said you want.
You want only me.
You want to love me.
You want me as yours.
So the stars I told you to look upon,
I am yours. I am here to serve your heart as you serve mine
I am your star.
You deserve.
You deserve to feel what it feels like to receive the love you crave.

In my heart,
I feel the passion of love you crave.
You've been through storms
and fought through them to get to the sun.

I can't say,
I will be the last love you will love.
I can't say,
I'll be there forever to hold onto because we can't define forever even though people say it's endless.

I can't say,
I can hold you together.
I can't say,
we won't have our arguments or disagreements.
I can't say,
we will always see eye to eye in each other.

I can say,
I will use my whole power to make you happy.
I can say,
I will my strength to do everything in my power to be there for you, to hold all your sorrows,
and pain with you.
I can say,
I will smile when you are down. I will hold you in my arms when you need your woman to hold onto.

My heart is yours.
Use my heart to love on.
To learn me and what I can give you.

I can't take the pain you went through in the past away but I will do my hardest to give you happiness and joy. To have faith in us more than ever.
As time pass,
I will hold you dearest to me like you've been towards me.

Love me.
Love me for who I am.
Don't judge the fact I don't prefer the same sex as you.
I'm not perfect.
But love me for what I stand for.
For who I am as a person.

I stand strong
because the way you loved me and taught me
to be strong and have my own mind.

I move forward
even though I was thrown down not just by actions
but by words of hatred.

The words that were thrown
like sharp knives into this soulful heart
that you adore and cared for.

This heart was thrown by words of anger
that the pieces of this heart were shattered.

You've never bothered to ask
how my heart is or how is my heart as a whole.
I've been pushed, shoved, stabbed, and thrown
into the bushes many times
but my heart as a whole is still beating to find love.

To feel a bond with someone that will hold my heart to the dearest of them all.
That I can trust to hold my heart
and make the bond of my mind
become courage of more bond of love.

To create memorial adventures.
This person will not let me cry alone.
Will not let me be alone.
To feel sad
because I am not strong enough or too weak for them.

This person will hold me up so high that I am unable to let go because the bond is strong as steel.

So love me for me.
Not for what you think is perfect in the world or what you thought is right.

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