I'm trying to find the right metaphor for the storm
but I ended up mumbling your name.
I can hear your bones break like thunder.
I can hear your cries against my windowpane,
thousands of miles from where you are.

You never thought I would stop running but I did.
I still remember the day when you beg my heart to settle down.
I still remember our little dance in the terrace,
two young people in the night,
experiencing forever in twelve hours.

You were the reason why I feel sad over the sound
of singing cicadas and heartbeats.
You were the reason why I stop leaving things unfinished.

Last night, a friend called and told me how you're doing.
I wonder if your scars still hurt when it's six degrees outside.
I want to cover your shoulder with words and moonlight until it softens.
Until you stop putting your hand on your chest at 2AM to keep it from howling.

I don't remember what type of storm you are anymore,
But I still remember you when it rains.
mulberry tea and half a slice of orange. Our forever ended seven years ago but I still remember you when it rains.
I found myself running after you in the middle of the night,
holding my heart together and shoving it in your rib cage.
I didn't noticed the contrast of your bruises.
You declared a war when it hurts way too much.
And I remember seeing the depth of hazel in your iris.

I've decided to build a great wall for the wars to come.
I let my anger smolder.

But my wall crumbled right after I built it.
It was the brightest time of the day.
I tried to hold it up with both of my hands,
but bricks became sands and sands became sea,
and I drowned.

The pain I felt was my own doing.
love is something that can't be forced.
I dropped my double edged sword in the ruins of my wall.
Vines are growing on my fingernails.
Wildflowers are sprouting from the back of my ears.

I am not looking for answers anymore but I heard it.
It says, "this is how you grow."
We're almost touching.
we were walking side by side,
you're talking about cabs in your hometown.
I can feel the gravity of your hand, calling my fingers
whispering "it's alright."

We're touching but not quite.
you held my shoulder to protect me from the passing cars.
and for the first time in a long while, I felt so fragile.
In this world where I find it hard even to breathe,
you believed me.

I almost said it.
All I need is one ounce of strength to tell you every single thing that I have ever felt about you.

I want to find home in your collarbones.
Would you be kind enough to let a stranger in?
I want to seep in your being because I'm cold.
The world is harsh and my cracks are aching.

Almost.
Please don't ever become a stranger,
whose laugh I can recognize anywhere.
My father used to say,
"Never trust a survivor until you know what he did to survive."

I lied to my lover when I said I love him.
A few years later, he asked me if I ever did.
I said "yes, of course.
But I did it to survive."
You said you wish you were as strong as I am.
I said I wish I have your ability to be gentle.

I wish I could be the one to apologize for what he did.
I wish I could take all the beating for you,
and let you know that life doesn't always have to be painful.
and love doesn't always have to be about a man.

I will always fight your battle.
I will always be the first in line.
We will hate our parents, we will hate the world.
We will talk about our dumb crushes,
and plan for the future of the female species.

I told you I'll dig you up when you die.
And I will punch you in the face for being a quitter.
I will roll my eyes and say,
"you stupid girl. You make me want to drink hard"

I love you for so long, you can't give up now.
just keep breathing one day after another.
Let me help you keep your head above the water so you won't drown.
Let me help you keep the blades out of sight so you won't get hurt.

And after the storm,
Let me teach you how to love and how to withstand the fall.
I met you the day that I was set free.
I traveled miles to be as far away from home as possible,
And here I was, in the city with people that I barely knew,
With memories that I have yet to make.

I knew your name after a week.
I knew your routine after a month.
I knew your anatomy after the 3rd month.
I knew your past on the 5th.
And I knew all about you by the time we reached the 9th.

I have no idea how I lost my love for rock music
and Marlboro reds.
One afternoon, I found myself next to you
and that’s when I lost my past.
Maybe, I said.
maybe we should’ve been together.

Believe me when I say that I want to take the eight years back.
And I will take them back with a kiss on your forehead and
Coffee sips on our favorite coffee shop.
I will take them back with photographs of our first gig,
And fights that we didn’t think we’ll get through together.
Today, my mother bought me a shirt and it smells just like you.

I went straight to the past, back on our first date.
You told me you’re taking me somewhere.
You told me you will apologize to my mom.
You told me I was beautiful,
And it was so honest it hurts.

I learned that two years is not enough to know a person.
It’s not enough to have the assurance
that they will not put one foot out the door.

It’s been two years since I last saw you.
And I have a message from the girl who is not good enough.
She said she hopes you’re happy.

And she hopes that you die old and sad.
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