You're alright
No I'm not
Keep it together
I'll fall apart
Don't keep it inside
I can't let it out
Talk through the panic
Forget what I'm talking about
Look for more answers
More questions appear
My presence is annoying
I don't speak out of fear
Be honest with me
Unless it's something you don't like
Tell you my problems
End up getting into a fight
I can relate to you
Then why don't you understand
I have nowhere else to turn
Except to the shaking in my hands
Do I look ok
Am I going to die
I'll make sure I'm quiet
Next time I begin to cry
I'll be there for you
Except for when you can't
Convince myself it's nothing
But I don't stand a chance
Write it all in book
But how can my words help me
Because when I try to say it aloud
It's only making you angry
Say that I'm just a guilt trip
I'll take that in my head
When you ask if I'm ok
I'll smile and lie instead
I guess that's breaking the trust
But I saw that coming already
I'll listen to your side
And try to keep my side steady
I wish I was more independent
But when everyone is dependent on me
I tend to forget how to fix it
And let my inner demons feed
How should I make it better
What can I do for you
Tell about your problems
Anything I can do
I don't want to bother you
Especially when you don't want to be
I'll figure myself out alone
And just pretend there's nothing wrong with me

These thoughts are unhinging
My words have stopped clinging
No solid tune to help me keep singing
I wonder to what end my actions are bringing
I flee the discourse at a moments bidding
And still I cannot keep myself from swinging
Frying the meat that keeps me believing
Slurring the speech I've been using since my upbringing
I'd beg to be alone if it weren't for myself that I've been fearing
The space is thick and nothing is moving
My voice of reason has started assuming
That my reckless life is of one of my choosing
Is it to myself or to others that I'm proving
The worth that I just pretend to be using
While I smile at another's undoing
You see me at ease when I'm viciously fuming
It's your tender intentions I'm lovingly ruining
And in the midst while I'm consuming
You awe at me unaware of what I'm doing
While all along I've been quietly hinting
That your state of mind is slowly slipping
Into mine and now it's dripping
From all the truth that you've been missing
I will not harm if you're not committing
I will only whisper if you avoid screaming
I'll kiss it away if you leave behind hitting
I'll bleed for you if you let me do the spilling
I never forced you into this realm of unfeeling
But I'll certainly say that you were most willing

You said the blue eyes were for liars
And green of those with no soul
I happened to be a brown eyed girl
With little to no self control

You said words were the pathway
To the strings that tie your heart
Giving me the slack willingly
And I tug them slowly to break it apart

You said we would be trouble
Of that, I already knew
Yet seeing as how I stand here now
It seems the trouble wasn't you

You said your forevers
You planned without goodbyes
You cling upon my person
And now I retreat my eyes

You said we'd die together
Well, we all die, I suppose
I felt the time in me slipping
And felt the illness grow

You said it all so lovely
You said it all so true
And here I'm left with clarity
Of the things I'll never say to you

So never make a promise
And I won't make one in return
Because promises will be broken
And bring a lesson never learned

I'll say that I love you
And quietly walk away
But love doesn't mean forever
And words, once spoken, won't make a habit to stay

Present past and future
You'll never see it pass
And mark my words, though I have none
It's always over too fast

It's okay
To walk away
I've never been one
To really stay
I'm sure you're better off this way
To flee my eyes
And escape my sway

It's okay
I'd even say
You're starting to see
Some better days
No more thoughts in disarray
No more wishing
And creating a fray

It's ok
It was a most convincing play
Though I'm afraid
The original message was not relayed
I did not break you, so, I need not pay
For the mistakes you spoke of
Were the lies you unknowingly made

It's okay
I feel no rage
There's no use
For a war to wage
Part us in our perspective ways
Still my friend but in the end
Not the kind that should stay

I feel the urge to halt
To take no step further
I'm creating a breaking fault
Just to stay together
Forever young
In photographs
And in present
We remain as such
Our health we have
Or what is left
We have enough but not much
If I move I move with time
And time will slowly take away
All my precious memories
And evict my soul
My body to lay
No longer next to yours
Only photographs locked in a drawer
If I dare let the seconds pass
They part me away from you
And so I cling and clench and ask
To let me follow too
If I sleep and wake another day
I erode a little more
So I dare not sleep
I dare not creep
Or else my time in ensured
I would waste no more seconds
To the dreams of nocturnal bliss
Because reality tends to overflow
And it's your face I viciously miss
Yet I know it's false
In wishing a stalemate with time
And any second spent with you
Is never a waste of mine
And if this small amount is all that I get
I'll indulge it by your side

Look
I know what your thinking
If you're living at all
It's better than being in a hole stinking
But that's not so
And I would know
Breathing in air
And being alive
Have very different meanings
For how you survive
Make some mistakes
Get a view on others
Disagree a lot
But be kind to each other
Look in the eyes
Don't try to prove a point
Travel a **** ton
Occasionally smoke a joint
Get drunk with friends
Get a broken heart
Feel a lot of sorrow
Like you're falling apart
Live through a couple crisis
And find good people a long the way
Stand up for yourself
Get the opinions of others
But don't give a **** about what they say
Do something different
Break from routine
Act like an idiot in public
Don't forget to sing
Go crazy for another person
Have some go insane for you
Learn to let go of yourself sometimes
But eventually come back and get through
Be as healthy as you can
Be smart if you want
Turn up the music in your car
Admit if you are wrong
Go to the funerals
Of all the people you love
Question god a little bit
Scream at the guy above
Believe in something bigger
Even if it's not there
Be you're own diety
Be the devil for all I care
Just don't live day to day
Like it's meant to be the same
Stop pretending there's an order
Like life is on a quiet train
A long distance to go
But at an alarming speed
We can sit until we get off
But why would there be a need?
Release the boxcars
Blow up the tracks
Jump off at the bridge
And take your life back

Words fail me to write in rhyme
And now I must sleep
I can't afford the time
For I must work that daily grind
In a workforce so unrefined
Tweaking cooks
And moody staff
All on something else
Just to get past
Drink and pills and greens afloat
Sober minds
Make nasty blokes
I work for tips
Or I work for free
It's up to the customer
To show generosity
Fake a smile
Show off some quick wit
Get stiffed again
These ******* ******
And soon a double shift awaits
And then again I'll stifle my hate
There are those who get me through
The days
And at times bring in love
Always coming my way
Making me laugh the shift into play
Maybe it'll be a better day
And I wish that I would sleep
But words are stuck
And they want me to speak
To write about nonsense
About my life
About my work
About my strife
And high as ****
But I don't seem to mind
I guess I found a little time
To be me within a rhyme
Guess that's cool
To suddenly see
My random spark
Of creativity
It maybe a waste of time to read
I'll take no offense
Because there is no need
It's my way of ******* around
Poetically


Thank you and goodnight