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Alex Jones Apr 12
The day is over
And
The sun
Is
Gone

My bed awaits me
Tired and sore
I lay there
D
   R
     I
       F
         T
       I  
    N
G
In
And out
Of an
Oh
So
Dreadful consciousness
we were studying the effects line breaks had on poetry and I really like this one that I wrote. hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Apr 11 · 48
Help
Alex Jones Apr 11
Stiff and sickened
There I lay
My body numb and
struggling not to tear itself apart from the inside out
My lungs cave with every shredded breath
Dragged through my teeth
My chest fills with smoke and I feel like vomiting
I can't hold the weight
Of any more losses
I fear my soul can't handle the pressure
Please don't leave me now
Feb 20 · 44
I can't
Alex Jones Feb 20
Tell me I'm ****
Tell me I'm worthless
I should just die
so I cry
and there's nothing I can do

Things thrown around
Just one room over
I know what's to come
Whole body's numb
and there's nothing I can do

Blood on my hands
My thighs
My skin
Not again
And there's nothing I can do

Drowning in myself
My thoughts
So heavy
I'm ready
For what I can't do
Feb 18 · 30
The Legacy of A Child
Alex Jones Feb 18
My scattered heart
your scatter organs
and even more
scattered
ashes
The single most beautiful smile
ever to be seen
on an even more beautiful person
You were so young
the ripe age of twelve
never to grow old
never to stay young
never to fall in love
but still
you were so kind
so gentle
in a world
far to rough
We all love you dearly
and the memorial was beautiful
I'm sure you loved it from up there
singing and dancing
everyone
just for you
I know you're in a better place
where there is no pain
and no longing
and it's so beautiful
but it's always gonna hurt
I can't blame you for staying
I visited you in the hospital every day
and it broke me
that if you chose to come back
you'd return to pain
you'd return to fear
to a world to wretched to deserve you
to be in heaven
and see a place so cruel
I don't think I'd come back either
with love and passion, Aubrey
I'll forever miss you Jenna, til i see you again
Alex Jones Feb 4
I want to know that you see me
                                                 feel me
                                                             hear me
                                                                        miss me
                                                                                     know me
even if you do not
love me


                              that would be enough
Jan 28 · 1.4k
Talk Me Down
Alex Jones Jan 28
I'm feeling drowsy
Not really tired
Just feeling lousy
Not quite wired

Don't want to die
Can't really live
Don't wanna lie
Can't quite forgive

Time moves too fast
Heartbeats too slow
Time leaves us last
Heartbeats must go

I can't do this
Neither can you
What to do
What to do
H    
                  E
      L
                           P
             M
E
Jan 28 · 48
Why Do You Write?
Alex Jones Jan 28
What a simple question
With such a complicated answer
I'll try to sum it up
Without too much banter
Have you ever just bled
In order to feel alive
Have you ever seen the darkness
And still taken a dive
Have you ever peeled your skin off
And worn it inside out
Have you ever asked a question
Just to cover up your doubt
Have you ever sold your soul
Just so it was free
I write because without it
I just wouldn't be me
Jan 25 · 40
Help Me Help You
Alex Jones Jan 25
Hey
It's been a minute since we've talked
I know we just had a conversation
but I mean since we really talked
I know life really ***** right now
and I know that you're scared
trust me I know
but I want you to know that I really care about you
These past couple weeks have been really hard for me
because I've had an epiphany
I think I might love you
Not because of how you look
or how you dress
or even for your humor
though all of those things are astonishing
they aren't as important as this
I thought I loved someone else
and I might
but the more we talk
and the more unstable you grew
with your mom being sick and all
I realized how scared I was to lose you
The more I thought about it
I would lose everyone else
to keep you safe
I know you have a girlfriend
and She loves you so much
so much more than you even know
and you really love her too
I think that's amazing
she's amazing
She's so kind, So beautiful, so encouraging
She's my friend
and I don't want to hurt her
or you
but I think
I might love you too
I know you'll never read this
and I know I could never tell you this
but it helps to get it out
I'm in class right now
I wish I wasn't
I can't focus on my work when I'm worried about you
I want to leave
I want to hold you
Let you cry
Let you talk about your mom
Or even Just let you sit in silence
I want to help
that would help me
Dec 2018 · 341
Experiment
Alex Jones Dec 2018
Congratulations
You passed the test
Now I know exactly
what move to make next
Dec 2018 · 49
reversible poem
Alex Jones Dec 2018
forget me
not
love me
i want you to
but
you don't
Nov 2018 · 37
questions
Alex Jones Nov 2018
I wonder if you have a playlist dedicated to the way I make you feel
*** oh boy
oh honey
there's enough to last a lifetime where I come from
Nov 2018 · 42
5 minutes nonstop
Alex Jones Nov 2018
Sometimes i forget how to breathe. Sometimes i don’t, but i want to. Sometimes i feel angry. All the time i feel angry but most of the time there's something else there too. I don’t know why it’s there, what it is, or how to make it go away. I really wish i could just crawl in bed next to my dog. Listen to some 80’s classics, or maybe Isaac will play the guitar for me since I'm sad. Am i sad? I don’t really know. The only thing i know for sure is that something is wrong. I feel lonely but I'm independent. I feel angry but I'm crying. I feel broken, but I'm laughing. I’m like a broken record. I say these things over and over and over again. No one ever listens. At least not anymore. They listened at first then they realized i couldn’t be fixed. Then they threw me out and got the newer model. I don’t blame them. She’s so shiny and perfect. Who wouldn’t want to be around her all the time. I wouldn’t ever love me either. Never ever.
Oct 2018 · 66
I'm a dirty little thief
Alex Jones Oct 2018
I really just want to curl up in your arms and cry
inhale your sweet scent and
bask in the security
but how could I be so foolish
that spot belongs to her
It always has
I try to pry open your hands
and tear her apart
rip her from your grasp
I'm sorry I can't let you be happy
i wish i could tell you how i really feel
Oct 2018 · 30
waste of time
Alex Jones Oct 2018
I think I was fine until she showed up again
then again
I guess it's my fault for assuming you could really care about me
I've moved on time and time again
but somehow
somewhere
there's always apart of me that refuses to let go
and it's hurting a little too much
Sep 2018 · 404
a little too much too late
Alex Jones Sep 2018
sometimes i really wish i could disappear
though everyone says they would miss me
i really doubt it
i don't know
maybe they would
think of all the things they've ever done wrong
think of which one was the tipping point
when did they cross that line?
i can see it now
the candle light vigils
the peer speeches about how caring and loving i was
the fake tears a shocked conversations
"this didn't have to end the way it did"
"I wish we'd known, we would've helped in any way we could've"
but you do know
you can help
but oh i'm sorry i forgot
it's easier to pretend
than it is to care
Sep 2018 · 51
B team
Alex Jones Sep 2018
i don't know what you see in her
that you almost saw in me
i don't know what you want from us
that you think she can be
because i'm tired of second place
never quite a gold
it hurts because i love you
but this game has grown old
though i still have your jacket
the scent is all gone
it's okay if you leave
just tell me what i did wrong
Alex Jones Sep 2018
[Verse 1]
You will never know what's behind my skull
So won't you say good night, so I can say goodbye
You will never know what's under my hair
So won't you say good night, so I can say goodbye
You will never know what's under my skin
So won't you say good night, so I can say goodbye
You will never know what is in my veins
So won't you say good night, so I can say goodbye
[Chorus]
Won't you go to someone else's dreams?
Won't you go to someone else's head?
Haven't you taken enough from me?
Won't you torture someone else's sleep?
[Verse 2]
And you will never know what I'm thinking of
Won't you go to someone else's dreams?
So won't you say good night, so I can say goodbye
Won't you go to someone else's head?
And you will never understand what I believe
Haven't you taken enough from me?
So won't you say good night
Won't you torture someone else?
So I can say goodbye?
[Bridge]
Haven't you taken enough from me?
Won't you torture someone else's sleep?
Won't you go to someone else's dreams?
Won't you go to someone else's head?
Haven't you taken enough from me?
Won't you torture someone else's sleep?
[Verse 3]
I start to part two halves of my heart in the dark and I
Don't know where I should go and the tears and the fears begin to multiply
Taking time in a simple place; in my bed where my head rests on a pillowcase
And it's said that a war's lead but I forget that I let another day go by
I want to be afraid but it seems that these days
I'm caught under water and I'm falling farther
My heart's getting harder, I'm calling my father
Am I screaming to an empty sky?
Empty sky, no way, that's me cause one half of my heart is free
Empty sky, no way, that's me, cause the other half of my heart's asleep
this is not my poem
this song is by twenty one pilots
regional at best
love this song so much
Alex Jones Aug 2018
This is about the worst heartache of all
The one no one ever wants to talk about
The destruction of friendships
When people decide to leave and not look back
but I grow up in a generation of petty princesses
and weak principles
where it's more accepted to talk trash about them
then it is to be yearning for their presence
we're encouraged to do whatever it takes
to make them jealous
but don't you ever take them back
they had their chance
never let them know how much they made you smile
put in your headphones
tune it out
but where are the albums about this
where are the pleas and cries and sorrows
begging for the friendship they once had to return
because I've grown tired of these people
and their problems
and their dramatic interpretations
of the smallest of details
we are a generation that needs to learn
that it will never be okay to tear each other down
and it will never be easy to sift through the ashes
in order to rebuild bridges
we burnt down
so long ago
Jun 2018 · 46
They/Her/Him
Alex Jones Jun 2018
please stop throwing me into a word that does not describe me
and a body that does not fit me
and i know you don't know better
but maybe if you tried a little harder
you could see that i don't like she her
or he him
but that doesn't mean i am confused
i know who i am
they/them
Jun 2018 · 75
train of thought
Alex Jones Jun 2018
i'm a day or so behind on my homework
and when i tried to do it
i almost started to cry
i love to listen to music
but today the words get to me
"i love the thought of being with you, or maybe it's the thought of NOT BEING SO ALONE"
here i am writing this
when i should be doing math
but who knows
maybe when i'm done i'll put on a movie
how bout ***** dancing
i always did seem to love that one.
i just can't seem to focus anymore
Jun 2018 · 84
Mine
Alex Jones Jun 2018
i hate the fact that
simultaneously
i hate you and love you
but even though it's said and done
and
i'll never really love you like i did
if ever again
there's a small part of me
that won't let you belong to anyone else
mine
you will always be mine
why can't it just die already
Alex Jones Jun 2018
i try to forget that i loved you
either of you
because when i think of it
you are exactly the same
from his soft brown hair
to your hard brown eyes
you both said that you loved me
and i believed you in the same
so I ask one thing of you both
do not tell me that silence is golden
when the music turns off
but i can still hear you singing in my heart
and i can't get you out of my head
won't you please leave me alone?
haven't you had enough fun with my broken parts?
Jun 2018 · 243
why does it still hurt?
Alex Jones Jun 2018
I woke up from a dream wanting to cry
and yet i couldn't
we were at the school dance together
holding hands
dancing
he told me how much he loved me in the picture booth
and i knew it was true
but i also knew
this would be the last time i'd get to see him
we left that night a little bit closer
holding each others hands as if it could stop us from being torn apart
but it wouldn't
the confession was bittersweet, he holds me close
and when our lips meet
i don't feel like letting go
then i wake up and am hit hard with reality
he's gone
he's not coming back
and you'll never really get to tell him how you feel
he's gone now, and i'll never get to dance with him like he wanted me too, i'll never get to tell him what everyone else already knows, and worst of all i get to live with the fact that he might not even like me at all
May 2018 · 115
Morse Code
Alex Jones May 2018
.--. .-.. . .- ... . / ... - --- .--. / ..- ... .. -. --. / -- -.-- / ... --- ..- .-.. / .- ... / .- / .--. .-.. .- -.-- --. .-. --- ..- -. -..
https://morsecode.scphillips.com/translator.html
Alex Jones May 2018
I honestly feel more stuck than ever
before
and poetry doesn't seem to do it
anymore
I haven't written lately, there's a couple reasons
why
I only seem genuinely happy when smoking or
high
this is because cutting no longer
relieves me
no matter how far I run someone always
retrieves me
Though I try I can never catch
up
this seems like the 100th time I've said that I've had
enough
I've always loved my parents, I doubt they'll always love me
back
Now I finally figured out what they want that I
lack
I'm sorry I can't find the person you want me to
be
I'm sorry I never learned to accept what's inside of
me
I think I've finally given up
Apr 2018 · 69
Times up
Alex Jones Apr 2018
he tells me he loves me
he tells me he loves m
he tells me he loves
he tells me he love
he tells me he lov
he tells me he lo
he tells me he l
he tells me he
he tells me h
he tells me
he tells m
he tells
he tell
he tel
he te
he t
he
e
ev
eve
ever
every
every o
everyon
everyone
everyone l
everyone le
everyone lea
everyone leav
everyone leave
everyone leaves
everyone leaves e
everyone leaves ev
everyone leaves eve
everyone leaves even
everyone leaves event
everyone leaves eventu
everyone leaves eventua
everyone leaves eventual
everyone leaves eventuall
everyone leaves eventually
Feb 2018 · 65
No
Alex Jones Feb 2018
No
I can't draw
i can't sing
i can't dance
or do art
I try but truly
i find those things hard
but the pen knows my name
and the pad knows my heart
So I write away my feeling
hoping they won't fall apart
Feb 2018 · 90
Me too
Alex Jones Feb 2018
He sent me the lyrics
to his favorite song
and i didn't open it til weeks
after he was gone
and i sang along but the song was brand new
and i wish he could hear me as i whispered
"me too"
Jan 2018 · 91
places
Alex Jones Jan 2018
All the places i could go
but i can't move
because in order to know where you're going
you have to know where you are
and that is something
i haven't quite discovered
Alex Jones Dec 2017
Betrayal
is a scary thing
because though you can know someone your whole life
there is always a part of you that is terrified
that one of you will end up betraying the other
and the part that scares me the most is
i know eventually it will be me
-Alex
Betrayal
A trait or a fear
Of what comes next
Are we through
Are we not
Did you take my heart
And leave it unlocked
I know that maybe come back
But the fear of what left
Is enough to keep me back
-Ezra
Dec 2017 · 91
Bleach
Alex Jones Dec 2017
Today I had a taste of poison, not much, but the smallest amount
Small enough to go undetected, large enough to cause problems
From what started as a normal day, to ******* on my bleach laced hands from doing the laundry, taking a sip from mom's glass when she isn't looking
Not enough to do damage, but to feel the acid burn on my tongue
An addiction I would grow to admire, a habit I would grow to despise
A never-ending loop of joy and disappointment, struggle, and celebration
This is my poison, never being sure if I should stay or go, not knowing if I should let go or hold on tighter
An open bottle of bleach threatening to tip over at any moment.
To spill its contents on the unmarked, and make them damaged.
useful to everyone
used by everyone
not a necessity
and certainly not a desire
Dec 2017 · 234
to be honest
Alex Jones Dec 2017
to be honest....
I was never okay in the first place
Dec 2017 · 1.0k
Trust
Alex Jones Dec 2017
Trusting is hard
especially when you're betting on your heart
or someone elses
like when you love someone
and you're so high that you know
if that person hurts you, you could lose it all
and maybe that's what happened
maybe i did love them
but then i got so scared
i convinced myself that i didn't
that i couldn’t love them
so i took all the love i could
and i threw it away
leaving them so hollow inside
that eventually
they caved
and fell deep into the hole of self hatred
but i didn't feel guilty at first
because it was their fault for trusting me in the first place
Sincerely to Savannah, I'm sorry
Dec 2017 · 108
Captive
Alex Jones Dec 2017
When i write
and i read my work
I feel both a sense of pride
and shame
because i am captive
to my self doubt
that no matter how hard i fight
it wraps it's many arms around me
like tentacles
that grab my feet to prevent me from moving forward
and find their way into my mouth so it reeks of insecurities
and in the end
it's locked me in a cage, only
i'm the one holding the keys
Dec 2017 · 101
I
Alex Jones Dec 2017
I
I write, and I exploit my own weaknesses
I put myself into the world of poetry, head first
and I fall
I read these poems
and I am astounded by the beauty
to spew out of my fellow writers
and I feel
as if I could never reach that level
because when i read my work
I find the mistakes I don't know how to fix
and I feel as if I don't belong
Dec 2017 · 83
The wind
Alex Jones Dec 2017
I look outside and i see
much to my admiration
the wind
or rather
the destruction caused by it
and somehow, I feel
a sense of relation
telling the wind
'i know how you feel'
letting myself go
and sitting outside
i find myself screaming
along side the wind
"i do not create art, what i create is chaos"
Nov 2017 · 82
How
Alex Jones Nov 2017
How
How is it possible, that she had a tongue softer than velvet
yet at the same time
the same tongue
used to speak the words that stabbed my in the heart
and made me bleed out
Nov 2017 · 69
Him
Alex Jones Nov 2017
Him
His smile is sweet like sipping iced tea in the summer
His skin is warm like your laying in the sun
His voice like honey dripping down the tree
his laugh quiet enough that you have to really listen, but it will shake you to the core.
He's perfect, and everyone knows it.
I haven't said his name, but you're thinking of him aren't you
Nov 2017 · 267
Different
Alex Jones Nov 2017
I knew i was different because i didn't like make up or dresses
I was different because the boys didn't like me, but i didn't care
different because i like to cuddle with my friends and i thought it was normal
I was searching for words to describe a feeling i wouldn't understand for years to come
but i knew i was different, and it scared me
No matter how hard i tried, i would never be like them
because they blushed when a boy called them pretty,
but i was breathless when they walked by
and they would never know how much i loved them
and neither would i for a few more years
middle school comes and i meet a girl,
curly brown hair and a smile that takes your breath away
and i was scared
because i knew i was different
but i didn't know just how different i was, until she kissed me and i kissed her back
and together we become the one thing our parents had ever fear
We had fallen in love
first poem I've ever written about my sexuality, but it's time i show myself how to be proud.
Nov 2017 · 93
red snow
Alex Jones Nov 2017
Here comes the red snow falling from the sky
Here comes the red now falling from up high
Tumbling tumbling tumbling down
Tumbling tumbling no bodies found
Run run run away fast
Run run before life can pass

Here comes the red snow falling from the sky
Here comes the red snow falling from up high
Rolling rolling rolling for miles
Rolling rolling the bodies in piles
Burning burning burning the names
Burning the bodies licked by the flames

Here comes the red snow falling from the sky
Here comes the red snow falling from up high
The silent screams in my head
The silent screams of all the dead
All are dead gone is the good
All around evil withstood

Here comes the red snow falling from the sky
Here comes the red snow falling from up high
Evil will **** us, it’s disastrous
Need an example of evil? Look around us
Nov 2017 · 120
No fun allowed
Alex Jones Nov 2017
No laughing
No smiling
no fun allowed

No running
no jumping
no being loud

No giggles
No tickles
To this rule we’ve vowed

We stay in sadness
In anger
in fear

No fun allowed
No happiness here
Nov 2017 · 97
Medicine
Alex Jones Nov 2017
“medicine is for the sick” they say with a matter of fact voice
“The ones who are ill or sick in the head”
That is who medicine is for, so she takes it
she takes it for her headaches, her heartaches, the voices in her head
Telling no one but praying it will work
When they find out they seem angry with her
“You are not ill, or sick in the head”
“Continue this path and you’ll find yourself dead”
This is what they tell her
But she still won’t stop
“medicine is for the sick” they say with a matter of fact voice
“The ones who’re in pain”
That’s who they made it for it, so she takes it
She is more secretive, to avoid the angry shouts
But still, she prays it will work
they only get angrier
They only grow louder
“You are not sick or drowning in pain”
“Please stop making things up in your brain”
This is what she hears but she keeps on going
Losing control without even knowing
Killing her mind without even showing
“medicine is for the ill, the sick in the head,
the ones who’re in pain, or crying in bed”
That was the last time she took medicine for pain
Brainwashing her turned into a game
Living her life without feeling at all
That was the year when she started to fall
Now she’s okay or at least she’ll say
But I don’t think even she believes that at the end of the day
Nov 2017 · 74
Two sides of the story
Alex Jones Nov 2017
A ring
It holds the most value in the world to any girl of any age
The sparkle perfectly capturing every emotion
The smooth band unrippled like your faith in said person who gave it to you
Comfortable enough to show off, to wear everyday, to keep close to your heart when you miss them
Small enough to hide and turn into a private joy
The hope that it gives

A ring
It holds the most pain in the world to any broken heart
The dull color capturing all of the regret
The band chipped and scratched like your heart and mind
Hurtful to look at, to explain, to own at all
Small enough to drop down a drain, or throw at a wall
The hurt that it brings
Nov 2017 · 145
Never again
Alex Jones Nov 2017
Never again will I say his name
Not without, at least, feeling a tingling pain
I scream into a pillow, the words
"I still love you"
And I cry
He would never know that I
The girl who told him to go to hell
Secretly wish him well
Hopefully he would love me back
I thought, falling asleep as the world fades to black
A poem I wrote for someone who hates me

— The End —