I've lost my smile.
It started when I first lost my baby
Then I got married for all the wrong reasons.
Then I choose to surround myself
with the wrong crowds
while living with my best friend
I let my bad influences cause corruption ruined
the one good thing in my life
continued to pretending that everything was ok
I got tired of their *******
I just wanted to Drown in my sorrows
so after many up and downs
I got the courage to push passed everything
while trying to piece my life back together.
I met someone.
I thought this is the one.
and I was happy.
He broke my spirit.
He shattered my desires.
I still stayed with him after knowing fully well
he's actions towards me;
he's indifference broke my confidence.
I couldn't handle it anymore
I said what I wanted to say.
I chose to stay.
when I shouldn't have ever entered this unstable relationship.
I've been seeing the signs from the beginning.
I chose to ignore them.
thinking he's a good guy!
I didn't realize I was setting my self up again.
I keep damaging myself.
I'm done with dating!
damaged people shouldn't be together.
I thought maybe with him.
I got my smile back
but I just killed myself!
(He did nothing to me personally.
He never hurt me.)
I'm too damaged to even have a relationship
being with him was fun at first
but being with Him showed me all my hidden pain
I'm forced to confront my Mental Health
I'm not in peace.
I'm in a mirage I created.
I was in love with him.
he has broken my trust!
I can't ever trust you once that's broken.
that's one other lesson I've learned.
I feel soulless.
I have zero reasons to smile.
Here’s my story!...
I am tired
Of constant living in fear
You tell me:
“I am a citizen”
You have Rights,
Then take away my rights!
I was socially profiled,
Arrested and booked!
It took me 3 years
I’m still catching up.
I was arrested because I had never had a record!
Black live matter
Not to be prosecuted before the judge.
You took an oath to protect and serve!
Black lives matter!!!!
I was socially profiled, I was accused, I had no forms Identification and I was arrested and transferred once cuz they didn’t want the trouble. Held for 12 hours( I was sober as mf)
Together we've had it!
After all our parents
Shed tears Everyday since you said Goodbye,
The day you left before your mama and papa
No parent should ever say goodbye first
They're has been more broken hearted
Guardians in these past years.
Stop taking our future.
Our children are our future
No matter how old everyone gets.
Each generation is the NEXT Generation.
Let's break the chains of Fear!
Keep living every generation
Open our minds
Open our hearts
We have ONE life
Let's Live More
LETS die Less!!
Let's stay alive long enough
To live a better tomorrow!
Started with the words “ I Can’t Breath!”
We are One Voice
We are one of the same
Those that wear clothes of armor
That use their occupation as a way to spread FEAR!
More than Ever We need GOD in our hearts
We carry the Will to change
Together we can Rise and climb mountains
We also carry the will of DESTRUCTION!
It saddens me
We grown past the Oppression!
We grew past Most of the scars of slavery
And open our minds for growth!
why are WE going backwards!
Where are the Voices of the world!!
Pray 🙏 for all of Us
We are going to need it!
The clock randomly started up again.
Never had any warnings!
I knew this day would come.
Never so soon,
However always welcome a new beginnings.
I am thankful for getting back up
After a bad fall,
One that kept me down with my demons.
One that kept me drowning in myself.
I am great full for this life.
I have come half way to living my life.
I’m not there yet
I’m great full for all the good that came from
That one dark road.
I believed God would bring back to sanity
I’ve come a long road
I am thankful to my family
They helped me when I really thought I didn’t want one.
I am thankful to my friends
They kept me sane and busy
I am thankful to my niece
We have an odd relationship
But she’s my star.
I am thankful to my enemies
Y’all **** me off , thanks for making me mad!
I am thankful to 2 amazing people
Who worked with me
They gave me a second chance in life and changed my perspective.
I am thankful to work
They gave me a job and stability
I’m thankful to my bosses
They are the coolest and strictest ppl I’ve have yet to meet.
They keep me on my toes.
And best of all
I’m great full to myself
For not giving up!
Being attracted to you,
From the moment I laid my eyes on you
I knew, I had to get to know you!
Unfortunately your my boss
All I can tell you, I had crush on you
Still wondering why I said that.
Im not sure.
Then I thought it was lust.
I’m afraid of these feelings.
They feel too real.
I only know your name.
What do I do with these feelings?
I just got myself back on my feet.
I don’t know where these feelings will lead me.
I don’t know what this means for me.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
I can’t sleep.
I want to lay in your arms.
I’ve never touched you fully
Apart from my hello and goodbyes.
I want you in my life, but
I could only dream.
So that’s what I’ll do and stay in my dreams.
I want to really get to know you &
I want to re-***** myself and my feelings.
I don’t want to overcompensate myself and get lost in this.
I am already loosing myself to this feeling.
I’m going burry this feeling.
I don’t want to push you away.
That would hurt more.
This is me being honest with myself.
I hope you catch on and meet me halfway.
But I am only dreaming.
I’m not sure about this uncertainty.
Come save me S.