Pay for Light
Money for friendship.

Gold for survival.

Once you run out of such funds for “Livelihood”

You go bankrupt owing those who “are paid to care”

Your life as collateral.

You are disciplined to treat such people kinder than yourself.

All your career, future hopes, and dreams are “poppycock.”

“Just Deal with it or find someone else who will deal with you.”

Traveling to only where they wish to go

They hold deaf ears to places you hold dear to visit.

To ask for help is deemed as “selfish”

as you are a burden to them.

Even though they offer.

Down on your luck with credit and avenues of other to plot a course down..

Your life is lived as a hostage and as their pet.

Sleeping in small spaces upon a space on the floor.

Tears fall.

As it is hard to sleep.

Not knowing if a future is a right for you to keep.

A new drink
From the bar.
I never have to roam far
For as my tears flow
and my thoughts grow
In insanity and darkness
I get intoxicated off sorrow's drink
"self Devastation."
It is such a rush.
This free drink. Such speaks to me.
The "sorrow's" bartender gives me a drink.
And then another....
I don't need a tab or check for this visit.
As such drinks are paid by "insanity."

Midnight in Moscow
The cold and moonlight hit my face
Smiles and welcome
Shouts of cheer
From all over the place.
A glistening and beautifully strong city
Inventive personalties
Hospitably people warm away feelings of gritty.
Beautiful women and the sounds of dance halls
The Kremlin brightly lit
and protected by high red walls.
What a handsome sight to see.
As I took a walk and then a tour.
It was a worthwhile vacation.
An "every day life" detour.

Sleep is a rare commodity.
Add the weight of stress and the thoughts of worry
or doubt
The scale tips
The sandman has no pay for any more credit
to be maxed out.
Rains shall fall
Not just your eye lids
Relaxation is harder
As you slip into confusion
Clear thoughts forbid.
After one falls
Falls from exhaustion  or heavy-bodies
Sleep comes as the prize
the body resets
and the mind mends from the calamity.
Now comes a new way of thought.
About face.
The scale balances out the once "large"
of debt's size.

I am my own worst enemy
I lost my mind

Tears - they kept on flowing.

18 electro-convulsive therapies later…

My mind’s all scared..

Like nuking meat in the microwave…

It’s sad and glowing.

On and off the wagon

I hurt my leg and couldn't keep walking.

I beg for help

But I couldn't afford the crutch

Can I play this game, any longer?

Before I lose everything..everyone that I care for?

What I need in my life, so very much?

The storm was started

As anger lit the match

I mended such broken parts back together

Can’t you see? Insanity?

It might be said “to last, forever.”

“Will you get the best of me?”

“Never!”

Asleep in Manila
upon steps in the astral plain...
I stayed in hotels lined with gold....
5 senses awake
Even though my body was fast asleep
My body was left behind..as my spirited
vacation did my soul Take.
I traveled to her upon beams of light
we fused together
Visitations of youth and light
Kept the woman over seas within my "kinder" and more "loving" sights.
we stayed together, there
walking the streets.
Greeting fellows and then walking the waves crashing upon the oceans' shores
as the sun hit our faces and we felt lonely
no more.
Although I had awaken from what was considered
"Just a dream"
The memories remained.
Just as in any physical vacation.
No matter the means of travel..
I considered such a "temperate" daydream
Just with another way of travel..
With the aid of soul's aid
My feet touched down on more beautiful gravels.

Feelings of Joy from the chill
Arctic colds freeze the body
Also, it purifies the soul
Out flies astral travels of my Human will.
Visiting lands at the speed of an "Outer Body " "dream"
Landing states are quick and also unneeded
Communicates with other souls
adds to a sweeter and a more "clear eyed" vision and
a more "grander" scheme.
Fly with me upon golden wings
Join with me against star lit scenes
As we dream together, even in the real land..
as astral waves are painted with a truer light with lesser burdens...
No worldly issues..just me and you.
Maybe you've seen me enter your "dreams?"
as I joined with your soul
and beautiful travels bathed beautiful avenues
without tolls.