She looks into the mirror,
stares at her baby blue eyes, speckled with gold,
and wonders how such beautiful eyes could be placed with such an ugly creature.
"Her black hair is too long," they say, "it has many split ends!"
So she cuts it, right up to her chin.
"Her body is too curvy," they say, "lose a little weight!"
So she eats less and less every day.
"Her lips are too pink," they say, "let them be pale!"
So she stops dressing warm.
"And that voice! Hush child with the singing!"
She cannot seem to stop once it is released...so she stops speaking altogether.
Most people only judge her from jealousy...but they do not realize the toll their words have taken on her.
Little do they know, she hasn't eaten very much in the past few weeks, nor has she gotten much sleep.
But all you can see that now resembles beauty is those beautiful blue eyes deeply set into her unhealthy body that's being weighed down by others insecurities lashed out at her.
Are you happy now that you've ruined her life?

Coffee sits inside the ***,
Next to her sister, also hot,
The tea speaks first,
Who has some thirst?
Please drink of me,
I am hotter than she

My father never told me
To "just be myself"
To "search first for my wealth"
To  "seek ye first the Kingdom
Or quench the fires in hell"

Just one thing instilled in these,
My randomly pulsating crevasses
The sacks now in my chest,
The ever-beating evidence,
With everything I feel
And everything I believe in
Regardless the time or season,
Or the countless cries and pleas for remorse:
That I would know the course

Stay ahead

But now I see within me
I'm breeding with pride and envy
And the sickness is a symptom
Of what makes me feel empty

I'm tired of situations
Calling for analyzation
And heartfelt anticipation
Of other standing ovations
For the things I see are breaking

In here

I'm caged by the guilt I have laid
At the feet of the people I've played
And those I've used as supports
(They caught their heart in the door)
Unaware of what's in store for them

They couldn't see into my eyes,
The disguise through which I try
To hide all my ghosts and why's
And all the things kept inside in order to

Stay ahead

The needy, greedy child with eyes for the spotlight
With emotions bigger, even, than his head
And the same mud blood, barely red
Just like his father's
Who's always "just fine" and says "don't even bother"
Because "today, everything is going my way."

God, if you only knew the things these eyes have seen. I feel as if I’m the only one to have felt this heaviness in my soul. It breaks me down. I’m scavenging for survival. For hope, for humanity. I wait patiently in the dark hoping to watch as the light breaks through this darkness I live in. Will the sun rise? Will the moon give in to its brutal blows? Or will I be left again, left wondering where I’m meant to travel to next. I watched my family torn from the places once called sacred. The treasures they held once before meant nothing, their lives were the only treasure they had left. The only treasure I had left. Some tore their way out of that hell. The mental affliction that caused them to drown in their own murderous screams. They moved on with their quest for a purpose, ripping away the flaws and scars left by the pain experienced. Becoming something new, remade. Still beautiful, they didn’t break. They persevered. I watched as others tied the fear and pain to their ankles, always dragging it with them. Others would notice the chains they pulled, but never say a word. Never reach out a hand to search for the key to these aches. Just watching them survive, I watch them survive. I survive. But the worst of all to watch was The Interpreter. The ones who fell for the lies that got them with me in this black hole. The ones who never coped, never wanted a purpose, they wanted revenge. Revenge on the ones who tore their soul apart, piece by piece. The ones who took every bit of sanity they had and laughed as it fell unreachable by any man. I watched as something once so beautiful, miraculous, pure and true turn into something that made me want to cringe. So hungry. Always remembering the starvation they suffered from and using it as a crutch and weapon to fill the hole that cannot be filled by things as such. I try to help but they snarl in defense, forgetting that once I was their friend. Only thinking of the world as an enemy, and everyone in it an enemy as well. I try to stop them, plead for them to stay, just to here a few words. Just to know that they aren’t alone, I’m here in the darkness too.