I’m sitting in the spot
where I wrote my first poem,
but all I can think about is you.
I suppose writing your first poem
and seeing your first poem
are two very different things.

I leave the lights off whenever I get home now.
My eyes don’t care much for looking around these days.
My heart was never big enough to get lost in anyways.
They say we haven’t seen most of the ocean floor,
but I could tell you all about it right now.
And that’s okay.
I’m not okay,
but I’m okay.
Even the sea must let go sometimes
and trust that its tides know where
they must be.
Even the waves know it takes time
before they can be free.
I don’t need light to see that darkness
knows how to wait patiently.
And I’m not scared of the dark anymore,
since I’ve realized that it’s just a part of me.

They forgot to tell you it's not always easy,
that just because the ocean seems so
calm at night
doesn't mean it doesn't ache
for morning.
They forgot to tell you it takes time,
that weeks may feel like hours
and months may feel like years.
That it only grows deeper in patience
and stronger in absence.
They forgot to tell you it speaks louder
in silence than it ever could in words,
that it listens closer when my hands
talk to yours,
that it lives inside your bones,
and not inside your heart.
They forgot to tell you it makes you
weak at the knees,
and strong in the head.
That it can fill every broken crack,
and heal every open wound.
They forgot to tell you it will leave scars.
They forgot to tell you that you can
give it all away without ever having
it given back to you.
They forgot to tell you that is okay.
They forgot to tell you that memories
don't fade away.
They forgot to tell you that it hurts.
They forgot to tell you what it means.
I'm here to tell you that it's worth it.
I'm here to tell you that you're worth it.

Amazing how great
the
p  i  e  c  e  s
of a
b  r  o  k  e  n
heart weigh

It's just like a normal day and you don't think you're ready yet
But how wrong you are, as this can consume at any minute

You are standing but fall down, the shock also adding to the torment
You hear screams and sirens, and wonder, will I join the fallen?
There's cards and flowers on your window, your friends and family pleading for you to stay
But another thing draws you towards it, being dark and scary, but somehow inviting

You see it as the shadow of the day
The knowledge that it'll soon embrace you with darkness
Will the darkness last, or a white light come to end the suffering?
It is certain now you lost the fight, but wonder, was I ever fighting?

It dawns on you that you've had enough, you want the pain to end
So let the eternal shadow embrace you, and become your friend