May 16 · 48
Backward steps
are sometimes...
..the bracing
to ready ourselves
... .that next forward step  
Into the stiff wind
Of opposition!
May 13 · 32
Leave it there
Push it back past
the starting zone
Leave it there
it can be all alone
Nothing gets past
The wrecking ball
In the futurescape
we have it all
What time will that be....
      ....when all the second's count?

I'm trying to reason
But can't get any comment
Of return interjections
Or objective renderings
Tries too hard to open up
that second tier of dreams
Used up that first one
Trying to weave a web
That then turned out
To be
much more slippery than it seems

Lost every resource
to the whims of vanity
Blew past the nervous guards
At the border of sanity
And that's where I pushed it back
Past the starting zone
And left it there
where it can be all alone.
May 12 · 23
Backward swing..
Came to a point
where I was lost
On this long damn journey
Through the valley I crossed

Dangers lurk in ev..e..ry
shadows dark depth
a repast of pasts overt reactions
aware of my share of..
...short-lived attractions
I stumbled along the rutted pathway
Sloshing through the thickened mire
Of fallacy and morality and ...??
...All that has borne such sad inactions

In climbing up the valleys edge
I find my wearyness weighing down
The shattered frame of mind
Where I fear as I  get here....
How much of what I want to be or
Once hoped to be is scattered along ...
            ....the trail i left behind.

Came to a point where i was lost ...
                    betrayed by ....
      this backward swing of time.!
May 12 · 29
Blasting off!!!
I ain't looking
for no instructions
no friendly faces
or interdictions
I'm not in need
Don't need your adorations

From now ....until
The end of my incarceration
"No need to utter ...cluttered inanities
Like how 'you FEEL me!' "
GRRRrrr..ain't no way
that that can be!

There is no words
that ever will free me
From this restless soul being ...
...that it would seem....
            ....I am.... deemed...
to be!

I remain ..the constant ....
That endures the missing time
that time takes away from me!

I ain't looking ...for no instructions ....
May 12 · 29
"Why am I walking in circles?"
Wait, I've heard that recently...
...or have I said that before?
Am I walking around in pajamas?
Well ...pajamas and a robe that's better
Better? Better what?
Better me than you ........Okay Samual
I hear you ....
.....where you hiding ...Is mom and dad home?
Where am..." Why am I ......
why am I walking around in circles?"
Here come those people ...I'm supposed to know them
They like it when I smile and nod
I've seen them before .....!?
Why am I walking around in circles ?!
May 5 · 37
In futile search
If I look through your vacant stare
I see way past what wasn't there
Back when all the dreams
Had butterfly wings
And filled the air
With the kind of hope
That is so rare
So many lives spent
In dispair and disrepair
In futile search of the one
Who will really care
So now I hate how easy
It is to see what isn't there
When I look through...
.. your vacant stare .
May 5 · 30
Untold reasons
Vacant thoughts left to roam
Like abandoned creatures
All alone  
Frightened of shadows
Even their own
The why of what never known
Tired and shivering
Seeking refuge in reasonable doubt
Victim of pretext left to wonder about
Apr 22 · 39
Resolute silence
All along that grey draped zig-zagging shoreline
The men sat or stood in resolute silence
Each trying to reach back into minds
Scrambled like eggs by the fear of impending violence

Soon the hard faced men will open the gates
As the race will start as hearts will change pace
Then by push and twist they load like cattle
Into great grey hulking hearse's barely floating
Plunging through grey roiling seas toward thunder
Echoing across the channel quotation marks of the battle

That rages ,engages not turning ÷ripping out pages of history
When the water turns red punctuated by the floating dead....
........The question marks and periods
Exclamation marks in the book thats still being written ... what end?
That is what makes any plot a vagrant thought
With a premise being an unresolved mystery
Such are .....
The vagaries of the ever repeating chapters of human history!
Apr 22 · 25
Less in learned
You talk too much
With nothing to say
Time to put your money
Where your mouth is...cause its time to  pay

Winner taken all
Loser taking away
A lesson learned
On another judgement day
            When you find that you

You've lost too much
You lost it all
You tried raising  
One more time _ when you needed
You needed to call

Such a simple thing
When its just abstract words
But it still takes no count
Of that devil called pride

Gave it all and then
I finally folded
And hit the road
While in my head that voice
   Never stopped as it scolded

Just like me it knew
That i had held an unbeatable hand
Until fear of that devil pride
Let you slip through my fingers just like ...
       .....the finest sand

As i saw the wind scatter
All my hopes in swirling disarray
While i watch it all
Watch it all fade ...fade away

Because i talk too much
But i have nothing to say
On this ...just another judgement day,
So sure am I not
That we can come to a misunderstanding
With a maximum ....
....of all effortless accusations

Unformed thoughts so positively negative
As to be the foundation of non opinion
Built up to not be nothing unimportant
Blindly seen by its lack of application

Where hopeless dreams live on nothing...
....beyond mundane introspection
Than the hate loved by those without reason
Filled to capacity with absolute emptiness

All in all who really knows
If rising up to the bottom isn't success
In this downside up world of lost and unfound
In need of want and want of need
Where so many want all and nothing less

While demanding my understanding
Apr 15 · 113
On the kitchen table
When I first met you
it was
through an.... open door
But I'm not so sure
that I'm
welcome here more
So i ....
Im gonna say goodbye

Don't get me wrong
Its not to say
We didn't  have some fun
It just seems to be
that those ....days... are done

And so ... can not  say
That  we  both ...
....didn't know
Once  the minutes ....
....and the days
had began to move slow
And i could tell too
Knew....That it wasnt how
It    was    before

So for all the lonely time
I will now have
I can  say without regret
That I've been paid in full
As i hope you can say
That you
As well ...have good memories
You can retain
When its all  over and done
memories will echo
Those sad refrains as silence reigns
Because I've been there
I know just how it feels
I know .....just how bad it feels

And its never easy ...never
Never ever easy

When i first met you
it was .. like
stepping through
an open door
So now ..I'm leaving
but by a different way
So not to spoil
The way it began
back then .....when
You first let me in

But i cannot or will not pretend
That I don't know
It never ever really ends

So even though
We both know
That of late it has all ..
mostly been just for show
Just for show

I leave out by the back door now
So gently do I pull it closed behind me
Dont want a scene or any slamming doors
It had its time and had run its course
There's no denying that as  i depart
I carry pain in my heart
and heavy weight of remorse
Upon my back

I know someday it will ease
into a back corner of my mind
But i also know that days will
Will not be coming soon when ill find
It weighs less and less each passing day
But i will also be aware that while
I will have begun to seek a happier tune
For my empty core after i find my  smile

Now that I've walked a thousand yards
I turn back to wave goodbye to what once was
The shades are drawn and its all dark inside
So though i am not sneaking away and we
In silent conversation we said all we needed to say
Yesterday we agreed but today i realize my leaving
Has hurt your pride  ... has really hurt your pride
I know I know i know I know I know we both drowned
Through the night and all the tears we each cried
So i do i do know just how it feels as i have been  here
Been here so many times before and its never ever been easy
And it never will ..never will ...i know from so many times before

But when we first met was like i was...
....walking through an open door .
.a door like no other ...i had ever
walked through before and thats why i left my keys
on the kitchen table
Along with my last smile least........
My last one ..... for a long..... long while !
Apr 12 · 223
Transylvanian Knight
Irony often oozes the blood stain
That history will use to paint
An honest portrait of erstwhile deeds
Or to turn some altered soul to saint
Few are those that exist within the mist
Who loom larger than the shadow portrays
And seldom does a shadow exist undiminished
By the dreariest of all darkest days
So when seeking blood in passionate resolve
There comes a mordant aberration of unheralded stature
Rising to fly above mortal attributes into unremitted immortality
By assiduous conviction born of monstrous evil of unparalleled scale

Born among the Carpathian mountains
From the ancient and mysterious Transylvanian forests
One who seeks blood for righteous alliterations
Not for glory but for the saving grace
A quest to alleviate all alien allagory   alligned along the meandering memories of non-mordant minded men

No imagery conjured by Bram Stoker thru Van Helsing
Encompasses the unmitigated reality seen
The lifelong - still beating strong - near century long shadow of the denizen of our brightest outlook

The creation of circumstance as much as man ( unkind ) made

Maybe unheralded by too many
For such a knave am I so sorely cursed now...
With shame
I ...who have always strived
to drape myself
in the raiment of the eternal optimist
Now pay overdue homage to the true and absolute optimist
     BEN FERENCZ.... Is his name
Seek out his story now ..
.while he still lives
Reach back ..
Into those dark, dreary days
To share what history gives
and you will see what he means
    when he say's     
" I'm Right. "
     For I truly know that he is!  
 Keith w. Fletcher
      Humbled by the humanity exhibited.
Apr 4 · 83
What do we value ?
How shallow lies
the depravity....
....the obscenity ....
beneath the obscurity
That veiled visage of such audacity
then how quickly
It all falls away
As I have stood
Admonished ... By my naivete
Seeing... As it all crumbles
Tumbles away ... with all my faith
the humanity of my being
Like dominoes...down the timeline
of what once was me!

Scattered now
Stomped on and shattered
Bruised and tattered
Everything that once mattered
Had now vanished
Banished and leaving great voids
Of emptiness
Monuments to those lessons learned
That now awaits...the fates
To fill back in ...if or when
We begin value what was earned

Those precious gifts...
....that so many
have paid..... so much for !!
Mar 17 · 112
Salvation lullaby
I    have.   Been
living like a madman  sinking
deeper and deeper into myself
Is not not...
...where I want to be
No No ...nonono
But it's where ...its where
..its where I find myself
No body seems to care about ....
....the things I care about now.
No body seems to really even
wanna wanna wanna even check it out.
So ...I.... am ...on .. a...
.... On ...A ...train to the next station. Looking for my own correction
So i do hope I do hope I do hope
That when I get there
there will be
A big ...A big selection
cause, I'm tired ...oh so tired
Of the same ol same ol same ol things that I've been doing.
And I got to be somewhere
Somewhere where  there's...
... Something else brewing....before
Before I leave here, if I don't
If i don't make some kind of
Some kind of sense to myself
Well .. Then I might as
Might as well stay right here...
Inside myself ..inside myself
Because Im not going to find
Not gonna find the answers...
If I don't find ...
The questions in here !
Mar 8 · 133
riding Aladdin
Sally Ride Aladdin
Outside so long
Another loan and I grow up
Carl Definable i beam in ios
You got to ride up .
.if thats not you
cuz..i didnt want to run
Us and nobody.....
   ... beast in the bible
isn't it crazy about this talkin
so long as I can see that
Sally is on my mind
  is Jesus kind
Kind of Riley saying thank you all
Not just you baby...
That's your mother's latest local policy
So long till i see you at the Sonic
So I know that she's hooked on Tony Montana
Cuz I know I rode it once when I was 15
And then I broke down and cried at 7:15
Mar 6 · 41
Miles or Time!
SO faaaar
The distance
..seem to exist !
Feb 26 · 39
Where do I fit in
If I could look back to-morrow
And see all the places I've been
Not  wrapped up in pain  ...
....nor drowning in sorrow
buoyantly bouncing along ....
......behind me
on all the hope that I......
.. Had ever been able to borrow
If i examine each one
And find out that none
Gives me reason to run
I then would consider
That my life it did glitter
like  Stars will do ...
..whenever  you
Learn to accept
It's when
the sunlight grows thin
And the darkening night pushes in
then and only then
  That the sparkling lights can begin
To show just how big the universe is that were in
And like my life
the darker it gets the more lights  seem to be lit
Or so it's seems anyway...
... but thats wrong.
.. You see the darkness
does not make the light grow strong
Or the universe expand
just shows who we are where we live
And Where We All Belong
As  the light doesn't mean
everything can be seen
By proving it too is there
Right where it has been all along

So if I can look back tomorrow
And see all the places I've been
I'll know then .... exactly where I fit in
Do people just really have no ability to understand that those Flames that are being fanned are not just little lies to stir up those who they think they despise and yet somehow not realize - that one way or the other, if all you have to sell are lies then selling out is not success but I'll toast your bereavement as an achievement with whatever my pity as pittance will buy. Do they not fear that they'll soon disappear as the pieces fall away like paint chips from a home suffering the pain of neglect ... derelict and unloved lacking any respect from those who can no longer  occupy the inside. with any kind of pride.
   Sad how that happens once you're forced to rent what once you owned so now tell me after you spent all you can spend and then can still smell all the Burning Bridges you left behind twisting in the Wind do you have anything left worth trying to defend except all those lies you agreed to sell when you finally realize that you did sell out. -the whole lot - even though no one ever bought those lies you were selling ! No One but you... that is ... and whoever is now occupying that crumbling down, sadly decaying dwelling that was once yours and is now all those right lies have left of you.... For you... to you and with you.

I'll toast your bereavement as an achievement with whatever my pity as pittance will buy.
Feb 23 · 54
The fate that awaits
As if it mattered
When the reflection shattered
And the multitude of pieces scattered
Upon and all about my pristine vanity
Some will refrain and ultimately abstain
Aye from testing my future sanity
And so those who strain to reach the drain
Will not be among those hidden Vipers
That will patiently wait to draw my blood
So no matter the sweep or vigil I keep
I will not manage to ultimately succeed
As nothing's as hard as that loathsome shard
Whose only goal is to gouge my sole
And feed upon the blood I bleed
So without doubt will come that night I Scream & Shout
As that will surely be the future I have in store
When a tiny Silver sliver will deliver that punctuating wound ...and I believing little....
...dime size spots of blood all the way
Across that bathroom floor. .
Feb 22 · 209
With every....
With every shard a picture painted
Of.... a world that has been tainted
By the overtone
And as the colors fade or run
A picture... overworked or undone
Seen or shown...
...Emerges from the ashes of devastation
To become an interdictum
A visionary injuction of ....
... How to prosper or cease to function!
Feb 19 · 62
Pausing to ....
Pausing to take reflection
In this broken mirror of my soul
I find the pieces reflect protection
By not showing as a whole
Those things I'm not willing... Or able
To accept are Beyond My Control
Small pieces of me are all I see
No view of what is behind me ... take that bitter toll
If only I could find
A way to communicate
Before I should succumb
To some inevitable fate
They even now... sit resolute
Upon my mind's perimeter fence
Like vultures drawn to  "mordum"

The pointless word now sentral to the view I will not yield... but use it as my shield to be the pointless compass and to help any who get lost
Now if that's not cold... Then I must be Jack Frost!

So my last poem has arrived
Upon the wings of eviscerated lips
That rendered down from my own skin
From which these soulless words were ripped

Understanding or not makes no head way
Into the scornful Stormfront of all future chaos
As we fight and fail this complex front
That slams us with the Futures disregard  - as it will discard
Those volumes of words that do get tossed
,,,,,, and into.....
.... A bitter past while reverting humans to gestures or a grunt
And poetry become so abject and simple to execute or write
Where any deal made without real knowledge
Come Sans of a way to ever measure cost

For I admit I am a helpless victim
A problem Fading into rust
A sightless eye that sees all
Without knowing who to trust

A quandary in search of a question
A question that has no voice
That has fallen into a old and deep and hidden well
Unknown to all... So keep searching... Or Surrender... As those be our only choice
Dec 2017 · 47
A season without reason
Keith W Fletcher Dec 2017
I guess you could say
I had to get away
From the way words
Had began to grate...
......of late
For we seem to have entered
A season without reason
Where simple lies
Revealing just how unfeeling
People can be
So much so so much
Total insanity seems...
... To have slipped in, ripped in
To the very core of who...
... I used to think we were
And it never did occur
to the me I used to be
Before I had to look... Into the eyes
And accept this new reality
So I took myself out
And closed the door after...
... I locked myself in
Where i decided to start
A season of art
Climbed out of the web
And then ...when
I have the blues
Its somethig i can use
To make lakes or skies
Or lovely eyes
And for a little while
Pretend ....i put an end
To all the ugly hate and bitter  vile
Because i got so tired
And being uninspired
by those who seek
new lower lows
While shooting holes
And their very  own Souls
Dec 2017 · 111
Obscure analysis
Keith W Fletcher Dec 2017
What kind of obscure analysis
What instantaneous retraction
Although I still believe
The illuminated illustration
Stands fast ... in resolute conviction
That poets can be and often are...
... word butchers!

And then... In...
That hyper Inflated
Monumental moment of Silence
You can hear the discourse
Running rampant through
The metaphorically impaled
As it swallows
In hardchecking defense
Restraining those words
Rising up... in roiling need to avenge
This appalling offense

Screaming eyes burning holes
And every single letter as it streams past
To the abrogated
With a sudden conviction
That None Shall be absolved
Not a single a or double m
Whit or whim

Simply waiting with war raging
Beneath this thin veneer
Of social mores and polite adherence
The smiling face and the calm appearance
Of an understanding listener

Knowing and aware
Of the growing
Sense of indignation
That's such effrontery as to call
Any poet
Even if it is themself
That they spoke of
Just 30 seconds ago
And now winding up and winding down
Any point have this interdiction

Sudden ponderous silence  echoeing with a question mark laden intensity  of the guantlets swing...... how can you call yourself a word butcher and be any kind of... of... of... A poet?

With quizzical eyes. and mild surprise
My face pops forward and up
To gaze upon the springboard
Of this questioning ...
... but obviously sincere
Learned yet learning... lover of words
So leaning in close
And then in whispered tones
Whispered in conspiratorial antipathy
Because I treat them gently
I weigh them Fair
I carve just enough excess
to leave them with value
I wrap them in clean white parchment and tie them up with pride ....
....then pass them over
to be ...unwrapped
savored and enjoyed by...... I hope
a recipient
who enjoys what was related  
With all the luck in the world
ends up sated... by the words
and the thoughts
That I had created

Then watching them walk away the army disbanded and the war horses went calm while the learned yet learning lover of words..... couldn't think of a single word to say.
Dec 2017 · 158
Recycle or discarded?
Keith W Fletcher Dec 2017
Those hard falls
Through a malstrom of memories
...catastrophic collisions

With all the pain... all the scars
All the cost ...and yet
It is sans of all tender care
No merciful meds to aid the healing
Or promote merciful addictions

The kind
That often shoves..
... it
And all ... , jagged edged
shattered , tattered , scattered
then thoroughly battered
Into that obscure corner

My questioning soul...
... always wonders
if thats the salvage yard of ...
...forlorn hopes
or simply the junk yard ...
of all we discard ?
Dec 2017 · 72
Time and patience
Keith W Fletcher Dec 2017
I tried to hold on
To what really matters
The harder I held on
The faster it scatters
But let loose the passion
To the whims of the Wind
Every chance then it returns
To where it did once begin
Worn down and faded
To the core of what once was
Comfortably rounded off corners
The way time and wind does
Where it's easier to handle .....
......what really matters .
Nov 2017 · 145
Every ill
Keith W Fletcher Nov 2017
Ive had my fill
Of every ill
That the world
Keeps trying instill
I've had my fill
I've had...I've had...I've had
I've had my fill

Keep telling me lies
Even though ...
You realize
That you no longer
Even have to try and hide
Behind .......a thin diquise

I think that means
That the primed machines
Are ready to go.....
They don't care if we know
Which way the future leans

I do believe
That there are those
Who do conceive
Of just ... more heave
And that will take it
Take it all the way
All the way
To the ground !

Where others wait -
With a rope
To quickly quash...every hope
And celebrate
Once the have it bound
And all tied down

Watch and learn
From those who spurn
All the things that we hold dear
As they tell us what
Then turn a deaf ear
Then as they twist and bend
And rend the truth

By attitudes and platitudes
They separate us ...Into classes
All the while
They clinch their teeth
To hide the smile

Apprehension encouraged
By dessension
Convoluted amplituded
Learned from those
With whom ...
...they colluded
Those enemies of the free
But may be
One of those who still denies
What is RIGHT ...
.....In front
Of your eyes

Just so you know
When that sun has set
Don't waste time waiting
For the light of dawn
If you bought the darkness
Then thats the ...
...the future you will get

I've had my fill....of every ill
That the world keeps trying ... instill !
Nov 2017 · 81
Cant post
Keith W Fletcher Nov 2017
So i must be gone. 2 poems in a row
Cant get on.
Nov 2017 · 96
It was a nothing day
Keith W Fletcher Nov 2017
It was a nothing day
In a nothing week
In a nothing month
All just part of a nothing year
And as I was sitting there
I came close to saying
All part of a nothing life
In my fit of morose overdose
It was too close
Then I pushed back the plate
Of a non - descript meal
In a non - descript cafe
Where eating alone in
Just added another layer
To what couldn't get any greyer
As I looked out the plate glass
I could see straight through
My own reflection
A fitting end to a  " Hey" I said
" Well what do you know "
My reflection gave me a smile
As the first flake of pristine snow
Passed through it .. as if to say
True reflection isn't seen in the glass
Its how you see with appreciation....
                           .... the inner view
What you let pass right on through ....
                            Or hold on to.

I've held onto
that memory now
for a long long time.
Nov 2017 · 82
Mud Chucker.
Keith W Fletcher Nov 2017
We all try to live
Our lives
In these...... fragile
Insulated bubbles
That we hope will
keep in ...all our
sacred secrets
And keep out
All the troubles

But I just do not
How we've gotten so
Bogged down
Fog bound
That we
Just  keep goin
Round and round
Round and round

These same old circles
Over and over
The same old ground
Getting in
Deeper and deeper
And a little bit deeper

Deep deep
Deep  deep
Deep deep
Deeper as we try
The best we can
To pretend
Not to notice
Are you such a stupid sucker
That you would rather
Let the world die
As you continue to
Lie the lie that you deny
That you were sold

Even now you hang on to
What you got hung up on
Getting in deeper and deeper
At every turn
The air is thin
Yet deeper and deeper
With every turn
Safely ensconced
In the fragility
Of that insulated bubble

So tell me ...WHY
That man with a shovel
Is wiping away who we were
      Where we've been
Covering up all our knowledge
And the deep hole
That you deny  we're in.
Oct 2017 · 59
Oct 2017 · 144
Mass delusion
Keith W Fletcher Oct 2017
Shall we succumb
To the ill winds of sophism
Accepting all
Which is to come
By small minded
Death blow annihilations
In slow motion periodicity
To all those slogging along
Through pluvial mortifications
Kept at bay
By the sorrowful embrace
Of a smattering of words
To pacify
Those rent of hope
Bane of reason
Forbade all reply
Slow burn percipients
Of rich class leavings
Conditioned to accept
All...ill winds of sophistry
Prisoners of ignorance
Believing that they are free
Suffering through the confusion
Of mass delusion!!!!
Keith W Fletcher Oct 2017
What matters most to us as human beings
Our spiruality  our family
Our ability to see possibilities in the stars
Loving animals  the smell and vastness of oceans
The smell of a bakery on the wind wafting into our souls
The smell of fresh cut grass ..the sweetness of candy
Or maybe the pungency of a good cheese
Or is it our ability to find pleasure in all these things
as it should be
Not hiding behind any false walls or lies or a disguise
Or maybe its just a beautiful soul with deep soulful brown eyes
Oct 2017 · 188
Hard held hope
Keith W Fletcher Oct 2017
All dreams seem to run like fine sand
Through even the tightest clinched fist
Gone long before the last grain
Is known to be gone or even missed

All implications lead to decimations
Of any decisions or those visions
Where the road leads to a horizon
Worthy of the cost of any revisions

Once the hard climb uphill depletes
All equity and valuation adjusted
For those hopes and dreams left on the street
Become the derelict afterthoughts busted ...
....for overdosing on hopelessness!
Sep 2017 · 93
The Wild Wild web!
Keith W Fletcher Sep 2017
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
6:26 PM

Poetry 2017

You never know

No doubt exists that I was not
The only one who was able to resist
For as long as I did
And to escape venturing into the web world ...
..with all its problems and benefits
I would be remiss
If I did miss
the opportunity to say that it has been a blessing and a curse
But it could definitely be worse
So whether I like it or not I've been on the web....
... for probably 10 years or more without
wanting to be....wishing to be ..or needing to be .. and it used to like make me angry
I guess as they say nothing ever leaves the  web

yes it was a Day to Remember
while we were playing softball
a lot of these 30 year old kids
And I was out in left field

I was actually bored
somewhat moored
to the spot I had been since ...My ok.. who knows when ...then
I heard that crack ...of the bat
As it caught a good purchase on the ball
and it was suddenly sailing over my head like a congressional junket going to look at a disaster zone .
Unfortunately for me and my frozen
, somewhat dozin'... knees  
We were not syronized ...

...,which I only realized after ...just after!
Yes I do realize I stepped into the lime!ight to tell the tale
But it is  my prerogativte to take my time
As well!
Not all that easy to bare your soul
to just let go
Standing metophorically naked
before the world
And talk about that day... when
It was not metaphoric

Within 10 measly seconds...
... from hearing that bat crack
Seeing the ball go sailing off over my head
and starting to run
In a race to see who would give in first

Me or my poor knee...which one doesn't matter
As I'm pretty sure had one gone...!
it was taking the other along
As well as me !
With the whole support team that managed
Barely at times
To keep me upright and steady.

10 measly seconds !

I'm sure the sound of that crack still rang in my ears
When I found myself being hurled...
...up and over that 4 foot chain link fence

Well ...almost over.!

10 second from crack to crack

As the twisted little demon Barb's atop this ...
...this monsterous mangeler of blue jeans
That allowed me to clear enough at that
That final second of that inevetabe conclusion time

As it appears across the mindscreen in full living color
You know that tune and I'm sure at least once
In every adult person's life
Everyone has had to dance to it's tune
Sometimes the rosy vision... was
the outcome and sometimes ...
well hell happens!

So that day my mind was all in
" Gonna win ..gonna win ..please !!!
But the message apparantly failed to inform my knees
Because just as I went to leap -Superman style- over that fence
They decided to chuck it and by that I mean they said " oh F* it!

And me !
I come so close to success ...before
it all became a life-changing mess
I suddenly found I was hanging upside down
,slung across the fence top !ike a wet beach towel across the back of a lawn recliner
my hair was touching the ground
my ass crack smiled a croeeoked sideways grin at all 40 or 50 people
who had come to watch the game

So who could ever find  blame
For my sudden sense of panic as I tried to extracateate myself
Without taking a second to examine my SELF
I myself grabbed two ground level hands full of chainlink fence
As I stared  through it
realizing there were kids up there as well
And as I tried to pull my other half along with where ever I was going  
 finding that around the equator
I was being threatened by those twisted barb's

Was..... is the very oppropriate word here
because I definitely made it worse

A few seconds of calm and cool reflection
would have offered me protection  
And whats the harm of letting an old friend  
See a friends naked crack
as they would have carefully
eased me back onto the infield side

I would have lost a little pride
taken all jokes in stride
as they would tease and deride

After all what's a friend for if a bare ass can come between
But now as I was screaming and bleeding and screaming bloody murder
An exposed bare butt is nothing
compared to what!?
when it's a schiscabobbed ...uh.. that coming between us

Not that I lay- now or even then -
any blame

As I would have done the same
Were I not the the one kicking and bleeding and making it worse
As I kicked and wiggle and dragged out every lifetime learned curse
The little blame I can actually place on them
Would be...
For not calling 911 a little soonerI think
Because people being people
And as  they always want to tell you the card to play
Even when they know the game you play is called soltary
Annoy the game a second or two and move on is
not a big deal I'd say
But as the hesitation time grew long
with all the confusion ..panic and pain
A crowd grew up to add advice ..okay
kinda nice...but a few
Just had to examine
But i was mortified when
without an if you please
a few got down and started taking selfies

parametics arrived and came to my defense haha
I can laugh about it now
but up to that point in my life
I thought...

I thought  that I had thick skin .
You know what  mean !
That is ...
Until the first time I saw those selfies appearing on FB..then all the crap I got was ...!

Oh I know it's out there somewhere ..lurking in the memory banks of the web or cloud
For a while
my discomfort seemed to draw a crowd
who had to show me what someone had made and put on the web..all the while
dishing out all the usual advice and telling me
it really wasnt allowed

But my little buddy had found a neich....
and for about 3 yrs that's where it stayed

I have to admit now...
after over ten years since I've seen any activity
On the web
That the human animal
has a weird streak and needs to have their fun
But sometimes it was hard to take
As  they had way too much time and creativity
It was when.  
Some joker added
about 8 foot of extention and was was enabeling it to move around  on the ground
Like a snake that's wrong and that ....
arteest was really twisted
...That I began to wonder if
It would ever end!
Oh well! I survived

And all is well in the mortal sense .
In the ensuing 13 yrs .
I've not heard anyone say anything ..
Not in almost 10 years .!.but I have had my fears
Because I have kids now
Five yrs and eight and like they always say ..
Nothing on the web will ever go away
! sooner or later it will raise it's ugl ly he...y!
I've always wondered and worried about that day

So 3 yrs ago I got my first computer and smart phone
Took a night class after trying to figure it all out on my own
And if it's ever gonna come back to haunt me and taunt me or my kids
I'll be able to explain or evade or block or have it removed ,but why ?

What I've now seen out there in the wild wild web is.. well my ...
That's what it was .
.that's what I'll say is the truth
And that it isn't even applicable

So I have now decided I will not even try to deny
The fact ,the existence or the truth ..about that..
or any other thing out there ..
In the wild wild web!

Because you see
I had to grow into  that knowledge...
The very fact that you never know

A year ago my wife was killed in a sudden and unexpected way
By a blood clot after a four hour flight delay ..that's what they say .
A thousand miles away and the weather... the kids.   nothing  I could do but be a dad
Wait for the people who do their jobs
working out all the details
as I try to gently soften what was going to be bad

A week after the internment I took the suitcase off the bed
Wondering if I could sleep in it again
or back to the recliner where I had been...
For pure reasons of distracting
I spent some time ..a lot of time unpacking
As I put her things away

The dresses I hung with lingering care
in that part of the closet where
she had claimed dominion

The shoes in the boxes and neatly stacked.....
just the way she would have done it

All the assundries I sat back into that overcrowded and complex
on the bathroom vanity

Her cell phone and tablet I simply slipped into the top bureau drawer
It was where she tried
(  Laughingly  )
It was her attempt at keeping it away from
our then 5 year old son.

But he and Amelia each had their own
fully operational from day one
but that honor
Came with the promise
that they would ask me first
and always ask about
what they see or hear

So it sat there in her drawer for over two years and would have stayed forever... if

If I had not backed over mine last Saturday morning .  
I dicided it was important that I'm accessable for the kids
And we would have had the same basic apps and ...okay games
She used her for work a lot so I knew it would not ...have been
All that valuable to me.  
In ...
the way it was
and I was all
ready for change ...yet!

Then, just about 30 minutes ago
when I suddenly pulled into this parking lot and... ....well!
I'll just make it real simple ....the first thing that happened after it charged up and I turned it on
Was this...
It  started playing the 4 songs we sang ...tegether at a karioke bar the night before
she flew to Maine

And after they finished
her sweet .lovely voice started talking to me
as if...
... we were in our kitchen or living room!
And it was..
... within the first 10 seconds
of hearing her speak
I felt my composure crack !

She said ..
I've talked to you Jack every free moment I get when I'm away
for all the years we've been together

And filed it in compressed form for you and the kids ..just because .
.. never know..
but I want you to know this.
I hope that hearing me speak to you it's like I'm there
And talking to you
Like I do makes it seem like you are always here
It's in a file you will find that's named ...
My forever love
It's a crazy wild wild web world out there... but you know ...sometimes good appears just because .because you never know !!
Sep 2017 · 188
Keith W Fletcher Sep 2017
I used to go along...
..... my way
Picking up all...... the...lost...causes ...
      ...I could find !
But it seems I'm just..
..... wasting time
Both yours and.....
..... sadly mine

I try to find all the good
I try fixing what's  has been broke
But I have never understood... how
How the sadness reaches down so deep
And just seems to have no end
I end up with so much that I cannot  keep
All those who just will never bend...
..yet have nothing
That they will ever need defend

But they too often seem to fight
A hopeless war against the light
For in darkness it must be found
That problems seen cannot make a sound
But me! ...I must be a damaged soul
For I can see and I hear and  I feel
What the dark..ness can..not hide
What the truth is destined to reveal

If the ones who  so simply toss aside
The lost causes that they cannot hide
..away from..  could only come to see
That it's not as big as it might be ...If we
.....could only hold them up... to the cleansing light

Just like a glass prism and see the fact ...that's
.....right there... for all ..who will accept as truth
That it's just a lot of reflections all piled
... into a mass of energy going to waste
If not used... to show
... that what's there to be faced
Is nothing but...  a rainbow in disguise

Stare too long at what is one hurts the eyes
So if its understood that just like that prism glass
As clear as air and ...
... all the time just  as easy to see through
Broken down into  individual rays
They shine
In so many different ways
And then if we could all begin
To take an individual color band
Into our hearts and in our hand
We will find a world where sadness fights
To be a cause and a course that might
Be worth seeing
Worth hearing.. worth showing

By knowing .....that all lost causes were only lost
Because they were so often tossed so high a cost....

Into darkness !

So it really  ain't no big surprise
To actually open up our eyes
And see the truth and then to re..alize
That darkness ....Is where
The truth goes ....and where... it always dies !
Sep 2017 · 87
sharp words
Keith W Fletcher Sep 2017
Falling short
In all long term endeavors
Accepted long ago
How the sharp word severs
The tenative and the cautious
The passive and the pensive
The hopelessly lost in battle
No truce calms the overly defensive
Sep 2017 · 312
I love rain
Keith W Fletcher Sep 2017
I love rain tapping on a roof
Like music to the soul
Filling in the silent sanctions
Where those lost dreams swim
Like iridescent dreams as pure ....
....As jellyfish
unencumbered by progressive
Necessity....of us lesser beings
At peace in the purple ocean
Of their own divinity...I love rain
Beating like the rhythm I hear
And swim through ...even if it's just me ....
Keeping beat of my heart as I drum
Amazing rhythm of life on my own thighs
And never even realize!  I love rain.I love rain
Sep 2017 · 91
Pull it back shut
Keith W Fletcher Sep 2017
There are those.... undeniable
Seemingly certifiable
Times ....
When disengaged gears ...secronize
And suddenly ....
Forward progress begins

Where static emulations
Stood frozen
Victims of their own
Disillusioned apprehension
Poised to leap into oblivion
Dictum setting the tone
Disavowing any or all ascension

Unsatisfied with acceptance
Of a painful intrusion
Though an invitation sent
Brought forth the conclusion
No ease forthwith the value
In hasty blind bluff dare
To not fail the saving echo
That's  emoting  absolution

Swirling like cotton candy
As it gathers around the core
Growing larger and grander
Born of sweetness in motion
Acceptance and adhesion
True poetry of love and more
Honest vision honored candor
Balanced faith and shared devotion

Fated to be elevated
At that very second
That very moment
When all hope fades
And if not missed
Always seen as a ghost
Dismissed as a mirage
When needed the most

So I'm glad I listen to the wind
Stepping aside , never in !
Sep 2017 · 84
Empty pale
Keith W Fletcher Sep 2017
As I stand here .
Casting no shadow
It's either high noon
Or total darkness
Either way
I see it as if
It's all out of tune
In its starkness
Aug 2017 · 192
Spot on...
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2017
I am not who I am
When I become aware of myself
For then I am that object on display
Taken in hand examined aware of that...
... Dustless spot now seen on that shelf

I am not who I was
When I first accepted the reflection
As not just a physical representation
But a cover to show and hide behind ...
.....for protection

I am not who I saw
The next time I chanced a glance
I was an ad mix -  a duality
Clenched in a fierce battle or maybe a dance

I am not who I found
Looking back at me in that mirror
Each and every time - through the years
In order to see I had to get ..nearer and nearer

I am not who I believed
When I first knew I had lied to myself
For at that moment I became
That dust-free spot seen on the shelf

I am not who I remember
As the years pile up behind
As  each must don glasses in order to view
The physical changes  each shares in kind

But I am who I always was in my mind
When I first became aware of myself
Then as now and forever more
I am me ...

That blank and dustless spot
That's left upon the shelf
When I lift up that object...
.... that memory
That trophy be dusted off

So that then the details will show
As I really truly..
....look at me like no one else
Ever could...ever would.... ever can
.... and really see me

That's who I am

I am not ....who I was when I first...
..... became aware
Of my own reflection
Aug 2017 · 95
Yes it is
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2017
I look ahead and what do I see
As it is ....approaching me
The future of all mankind..and it a bind
.......coming unwound and ... now sinking fast
into the distant waves
Of time.... as it rolls past
And I am bound fear
To this place I stand ...surrounded

By all that I once knew ..
All that I was do
.... before it was too late
But now I seem to hesitate
Chalk it all up to fate before
It has a chance to implicate
it is not any real surprise
How long I failed to recognize
The panic that I saw ...whenever
I looked into my own eyes
As they became as clouded as stormy skies

The light that fades I tried... to ignore
But now I can clearly see ...
That those waves of time have
To somehow catch up to me
And I think I always knew
I would never get to do
All those thing that I had planned to

So I must accept that ...
it was ...
.more than enough .
Aug 2017 · 101
Up or down ?
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2017
Maybe it's me and the way I see
Opposed to... instead of cut and dry
For non inspired I grow so tired
And wonder why so many do deny

That for every action there is idk
Nothing I guess and I must confess
Have they never played with a yo-yo
Maybe for them unwinding alone is success

How sad to live in directionless parody
And see naught beyond the simple vain
Where up is up and down is down
And no thought is applied to entertain
.......anything between

No way could I pollute my mind with
So narrow a flow through stagnant mass
That plows without question the absent quest
Where direction is a one way mirror or simply glass

Now you see it you don't or maybe won't
So does peek-a-boo become a lifelong magic trick
Where not seen will always mean it no longer exists
Therefore the choice chosen was all there was to pick

No way such infertile soil could ever grow a garden
Beyond self serving and slowly diminishing seeds
That resist all changes in the status quo they know
Satisfied with letting the world become fields of weeds

Where I guess I dont see the glass as simply all that's seen
So I ask this simple value to be more colorfully embued
With all that can be seen and more than even imagined
Which will mean that all new thoughts or directions include

And not become all hung up by a one way you view alone
And see how easy it is to allow this little seed to sprout
Is standing up for what you believe harder than sitting down
For what I may believe and isn't that the very  point
Of what Colin'Kaepernick is doing and what its really all about ?
Aug 2017 · 135
I Am Extant!
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2017
Appalled by the execution
Of the implied devaluation
Bringing down the hopeless rage
Upon all those tainted by implication

I stand in visible observation
With no shield or aberration
To lay blame for my inclination
To find fault in your need for polarization

No left or right or up down
Flows in natural light through my being
I am extant in my word and deed
So blame yourself if you seeing

That in the most unimagined
Set of convoluted circumstances
I am simply your own reflection...uninspired
By your lack of need learn by taking chances

But even i will not follow you.... into
The depths of your morbidity
If you seek to drag along those poor lost sheep
Into your hatred and fearmongering obscenity

I stand ...
For all...those
... who you knock down!
Aug 2017 · 106
Stardust dreams
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2017
Stardust dreams of planetary evolution
Earth dust has nightmares ....of mass pollution
While people argue of what is missing .
...without a clue
They proceed
Putting greed
ahead of need !  
I must be
Earth dust I too
Have nightmares ...
...As do all...those...
It seems ....
.... who
really truly cares..,,
....about Stardust dreams!
Aug 2017 · 185
How many ?
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2017
I stood at the door forever
Wondering if I should knock
How many times have I turned
To start back down that walk

Beyond it lay.... my redemption ?
Or maybe my reflection incarnate
Of what I am..... or want to be
I can ever wipe clean the slate

November rains incessant
making puddles in the twilight mists
As winter looms like empty tombs ..await
The metaphoric slitting of my wrists

To deny me the sanctity of the threshold
Beyond the ability to knock upon the door
The rapture of ocean breezes or sailing ships
That will take me to other worlds beyond this shore

Yet I stand here poised in static grace
My hand raised unmoving trembling to my core
I fear no answer will come to my transgression ...
              confession fear
Is that GOD no longer answers those who seek solace
     Knocking at HEAVENS. door .

How many times have I turned? How many?
Aug 2017 · 155
In that blink of an eye
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2017
Love is a fleeting thing
That can't be packaged ...
     ... or ...stored away
It has to breathe and laugh
Cry and get lost...
... in it's own circles each day

Love any and all living things.

Which surely must be considered such
For it had its season
And it must be seen
As a memory... Not a crutch

There is no laughter through pain
No stalwart dignity need be evoked
Just carry a petal
From the flower that was
And let the unbearable weight
Be temporarily revoked

Then that time will arrive
Inspiring... A memory...
... Wrapped in laughter... Real laughter
Some slip and fall or misunderstanding
Or even some strange pose forever etched
Deep inside of us

For isn't that what we all ... are after?

Because it is in that Hollow void
That empirical and ponderous minute
When we know... That we can carry it now
And we feel peace... With the knowledge
That others will be able
To... do the same
When they find themselves
In this world.....,.  without us in it

For everything there is... Yes
There is a season
Even if it takes a while... To accept
That life happens...
....The Rainbow Bridge does exist
Death happens..and the facts of Life
Are often beyond any reason

So cry and moan and mourn
Remember that day when they
Or your friendship was born
And some day you will laugh
At that memory... You will always
You will always have
Aug 2017 · 85
Derisions ( a repost )
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2017
If you take a chance and glance
           Beyond that which is called
            Extenuating circumstance.
You may see that the powers that be.  
Seek justice ..but only for a system
         That they rely on to maintain
              . ......A  status quo
          A stagnant pool of nepotism
                    Slash latent schism
                       Where division...
                ....Trumps any decision
    Where progress might find a foothold
       Where justice demands they trust US
               To control a destiny
              Once promised on paper
        That has been perverted
           Until it is now a point of such
                      Vehement derision
That stagnation seems so ingrained
          That it's acceptance
               Is as routine
          As the gavels banging
    Or the detention door clanging
                 That it should rattle
                     To the very core
                        Any citizen
            Who believes in the idea of
                Freedom ,human rights
        And the pursuit of happiness
     Reality is often a hard pill to swallow
  Especially when the acidic water
                  Of the shrinking pool
              That we all inhabit.. has...
                  ...Stopped breathing
                   And is slowly dying
      While some keep denying
           That anything is wrong
                     No need to believe
                      That  trouble looms
                         On the horizon
                  So choked with smoke
     That the sun struggles to deliver
          Any promise --dusk or  dawn
         And troubled waters rise up
            In rebellious consternation
        Spilling into unfamiliar places
                             As it chases
       Destitution onto higher ground
                          Of desperation
                              And alienation
          Revelations will soon dictate
    Maybe way ..way ..too late
That hesitation is becoming as absolute
As inspired introspection is becoming obsolete
        The status quo is all they know
              Those who have the power
      To pull the world together
         But haven't got the will power
               To do anything
                   That might cause them
          To take a chance and glance
               Beyond that which we call
         An extenuating circumstance.
Aug 2017 · 185
Drained Away
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2017
All the color
Drained away
From around
My monochromatic core
Becoming an abstract memory
In a screaming ,raging silence
All across.....
....This sad and pock marked floor

In shades of grey
I make my way ...past
The last ....ornamental
Bit of sanity
I find..... before
I slip into the mist
Of uninspired ,hard wired
.....of all
That lay ahead
Where dreams die
As the ordained
Squeeze hard ..then discard
Any evidencerary consideration
Beyond the veil
Of the awaiting mist
Obscurity wilting away
The ubiqitous absence
That latest wisp
Of wide appeal ...for those of us
Who allow ourselves
To be drained of all color
Amid the abstract disregard
Of who we were in our own way
Conceding to become
retreating ghosts
Of monochromatic grey
Unadorned bits of sanity
Saluting as we pass by
On our own ....on our way
Not even credited
With the abstract decor
Left behind us ....
On the now even sadder
Pock marked floor

As it hears the screaming ,raging silence
As it's echo fades away ,lost ,ghostly pale
Absorbed ....
By the grey mist....
..... beyond the awaiting veil !
Keith W Fletcher Aug 2017
Just my fate
to live in a state
Where things are so...
.... backward
That the mirror view
Is a forward glance
And backward progress
Is no difference ...from a forward

It's not really part
Of the Bible belt
It's just below
The buckle
And right behind the zipper
Been here......
...most of my life
And though it has tried
From time to time
To become a smidge hipper

So far ...
It has been an absolute failure
Even though we reach ...out
To touch the tiniest shadow
Of the Color filled wonder
A state of bliss ..a state known
As Color.....COLORado.....

Though the chords are severed
And the fingers no longer
Are doing
Their earthly strumming
I will fullfill the promise...I made
Before you departed , and I stayed
To set up a life there ,and in your memory
I say my fate lies up in the Rockies
.......hold on ....I will soon be coming !
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