I wish I could carry your burden,
I want to carry you home.
I wish I could run to your side,
And hold you close.

Dear Father,

I have sinned,
Even when I knew it was wrong.
I sinned when I acknowledged your presence,
I rebelled against you and didn’t care.
I am dirt who hates you at heart,
I can’t stand being in your presence.
I am filled with malice and spite,
I break bread with my sin,
I dig up the bones of my weaknesses.

Dear Father,

You loved me still,
You cared for me despite this.
You saw me as precious,
You called me holy.
You lifted me up,
Held me close,
Drew me near,
Called me to you,
Claimed me as your own,
Adopted me as your child.
You loved me still.

What else can I say that hasn’t been said?
You know everything that is on my mind,
You know me inside and out.
I miss you every day,
You are my best friend,
I love you very much.

Oh my lovely garnet stone,
How I miss our talks on the phone.
I need to end my misery,
From the damage I sustained from my injury.

Wintergatan is a very sad song,
It makes me think of you all day long.
I was thinking the same thing,
Is anything new? What will today bring?

Whenever I think about 2014,
I think about all that I’ve seen.
Three years of sin I should have known,
You were there all alone.

I write so many poems no one may see,
They stay on my phone,
They are just for me.
This song by myself makes me want to hide,
Wintergatan kills me inside.

I held your face and told you that I was going to remember this,
Under the warm light of a cool night.
We cried together because we knew we would grow apart,
I was heading to your brother’s house down the road.

The softness of your skin sent shivers down my spine,
I held your cheeks in my hands as your hands clasped over mine.
I brought you in for a sweet kiss,
The morning after wouldn’t be so.

I had breakfast and tea,
I was simply there watching you talk with your friends.
I felt cheated out of time with you,
But you needed time with your friends.
I get that now.
I’m sorry for being so selfish.

You kissed me goodbye,
Said it was going to be the last kiss you ever gave.
I knew that wasn’t possible,
I know someone will come along.
But I’ll hold onto that memory.
Just you and me,
Leaning against my car as I memorize your face,
The last time I felt safe, with you,
On December 11,
Last year.