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Kayleigh Robyn Apr 2014
There's a boy and a girl
and they're oh so happy
Eight months too late, she could have been happy too
She's still alive
but her mind feels dead
she didn't know what love meant
but she knows now
a burst of emotion
a feeling of loss
her heart closes in on itself
her skin starts to crawl
salt hangs in the air
and drips from her eyes
clinging to lashes
staining her thoughts
the world is suffocating
she can't think past right now
so many mistakes
there's a boy and a girl
they could have been oh so happy
he liked, maybe loved her
but she was stupid
oh so ******* stupid
and he tried, he tried so hard
and she dismissed it
her focus was elsewhere
a cloud separating her from reality
a reality she never imagined
there's a boy and a girl
but are they happy?
one is
moved on
moved up
she thinks
and thinks
but doesn't think of anything at all
she's stuck
everything has changed
life is at a standstill
what can she do
the salt stains more than just her face
she is nothing
a nothing without feeling
a shell
a ghost
tears that only come
when aided with unholy spirits
emotions that only show
when faced with a wall of something never before encountered
she could have been happy
she could have been oh so ******* happy
Kayleigh Robyn Sep 2013
I rest on this hill with my mind in a swirl
but my body stayed perfectly still
I picture your face and I picture your eyes
and I tell you they shine just like diamonds

I remain on the edge, the exterior of life
peering inward to assure my survival
I surmise that your voice with it's deep undertones
brings a reflex of craving a kind of collision

I try, yeah, I try to erase from my mind
all these pieces of you, you're smiling
but me, I'm not no I wish I could stop
cause these tears yeah they feel just like crying
you would not understand that this pain I am in
It's not here, yet I still feel like dying

I dig myself into the roots of everything
It's dark down here, but I still sing
about a time where maybe someday
I will be dauntless, daring with a smile of joy
I can't really decide if it's hate that's defined me
or a deep rooted longing
I wish I had known when we'd met
how I'd grow to count on you
for all the bits of my happiness
as for now, lying face down on my hill
I've come to affiliate you with sadness

It's 6 oclock, I didn't sleep today
viewing the sunrise, I've never felt this way
and I unscrew my cancer, cause I think I need it
It never gets better, so I continue to feed it

I try, yeah, I try to erase from my mind
all theses pieces of you, you're smiling
you don't know what it's lie
to wake up filled up with woe
cause you hate every inch of your body
this instant in time, feeling fatally ill
I'll never be good enough, but I'm trying

metal on skin
bottle to lips
liquid to tongue
finger to throat
aspirin to stomach
This pain is not here, this pain, it's not here
Yet I still feel, yeah I still feel like dying
Kayleigh Robyn Sep 2013
Two kids, one dream
a sign in an empty street
imagine sunlight, two girls laughing
a camera on a stand
two kids, embraced
digging through boxes
like old memories wrapped in a cloth of nostalgia
imagine twilight, two girls talking
all the tenses at once
a figure in a bed
two kids, waking up alone
a confused smile
dark and ashamed, a wish
taken for granted
imagine emotion, a frantic outburst
two kids, coldly distant
yet never so close
a strangled reply
filled with hurried thoughts
imagine morning two girls far apart
a position shared
two kids, on a kitchen floor
knees brought up to their chests
one takes hold of a knife
the noticeable difference
imagine desperation, two girls crying
a single tear, a single drop of blood
the start of a long battle
two kids, completely unalike
yet perfectly similar
imagine happiness, a diploma in hand
not a single thought spared
to a desperate struggle to regain what was lost
two kids, not kid anymore
a new beginning, a haunted past
trapped inside a keyhole
imagine silence, nothing will ever be the same
a first love, not quite right
two kids, forever changed
a memory that holds no purpose
I'm not sad anymore.
Kayleigh Robyn Sep 2013
Spring has those bright blue eyes
as you hold onto winter
bundled up, you head outdoors
and oh
the look in those eyes
as you strip off the cold
face the heat

I'm sorry for not warning you
please don't run away
I'm sorry for deceiving you
look dear
if only you would drag your feet home
old man winter put ice in your bones
take a look outside
see the sun, it's rays won't penetrate
the wind is still a little chilly
but feel the heat

I'm sorry for not telling you
I promise, I didn't mean to hurt you
have a sweater for the wind
so you won't feel so hollow

Springs eyes are inviting you
no, they aren't ice
see the warmth
I'm sorry for scaring you
hide your flaws
hide them away with deadly shame

Just accept my apology
your broken love is whispering
up and down my wrists

open up your dark November eyes
the glaciers are melting
I don't see why you have the need to fight

Winter is over
trouble is searching
but here, take my hand
ignore the Autumn eyes
ignore October
I'm sorry for changing you
there's a hole in your summer dress

but here, take this sweater
it can cover the hole
I don't care if it's not good enough
just take what you can get
this isn't last year
the glaciers are freezing again
I can't handle this cold spell

Spring's bright blue eyes
the lids are frosting over
please, open up

can you see that
the grass in the cemetery is turning green
the sparkling snow is gone
the wind no longer makes the dead scream
dry bones
they do not matter

I'm sorry for telling you
there's a black rat destroying your summer shoes
but here, take this sweater
it can't fix your shoes
but it's all I have

please, accept my offering
child of the ******
with empty eyes
the glaciers are gone
the wind is calm

see the cemetery
the roses are growing again
come with me
we can steal flowers from the graves
the bones are rattling
please, don't be scared
here, take my heart
it's all I have left
Ups and down of an internal struggle.
Kayleigh Robyn Sep 2013
It starts with a quiet night
a warm cup of tea
a pile of notebooks
filled up with nothing at all
there's a fountain
and a globe
a computer
and a pen

it starts with a noise
the beginnings of a drumbeat
the plunk of being called
a single lamp
there's a rose
and a cat
some music
and a girl

it starts with a smile
a subtle curve
not quite a grin
a glimmer of hope
sends feelings singing
there's a phone
and a text
there's more music
and a boy

it starts with a name
some simple syllables
a feeling of fate
a thought of without reasoning
there's a page
ripped out of a notebook
filled with thoughts
a note
a poem
there's a voice
of a girl

it starts with a song
a familiar verse
a pile of notebooks
not scattered around
a feeling of doubt
a lack of self-confidence
there's a shudder
and a sigh
a bowl of chips
a table
the slumped over figure
of a girl

it ends with a chime
the clock strikes three
a blinding light
ther's an empty table
a pulled out chair
a pile of notebooks
she left lying there
a new national anthem
some music
but no girl

— The End —