How come all the websites say that people cut themselfs because they are angry or its the only thing they can control in life? Because some people do it because they need to be punished. They need to feel the blade because they know they are dirt and their mistakes are to big to forgive.

The coffee to help me stay awake
afraid to sleep for the terrors that haunt my dreams
Can't force myself to eat
I will just throw it up again
I can't escape this hell
swirling in my veins
making my head spin
running from everything
punishing myself for every mistake
knowing that i am dirt
and will never be anything more
the shakes from the cold are the
only thing that can comfort me
shaking from the pain
and taking pleasure
in the discomfort

such little kisses
you planted
all over my face
making me giggle and smile

tickleing my sides
and making me bust out in laughter
nothing could have been better
then the aftermath
of our love

Alone at last
yes we were
you kept kissing me and kissing me....
what was i supposed to do?
its not like i didnt like you
I was just so scared
and as your fingers made me bleed
i understood
that there was not greater
feeling then being alone
with you

its bad enough you hurt me father, but to hurt my little sister? Now for that you going to pay for. Consider youself lucky you are sitting in that jail cell for being the sick bastrard you are. Funny how she is the same age i was but see i waited to tell. You told me it was normal and now that she has called you out for "licking her" you say nothing ever happened yet you dont want to take a pollygraph... that makes you guilty. I laugh when you suffer for i have suffered for so long. I have been silent and waiting for my moment but you have now put me over the edge. I will **** you like you have killed me and i will leave nothing but an empty shell. Enjoy that cell that you rot in because soon i will have you in my hands and trust me it wont "keep your fingers warm".

I wonder if she knows
how beautiful she really is
hiding behind all her clothes
shaming herself for who she is
if only she would listen when i
wisper in her ear
"You are so beautiful"

At last i am alone
i can make this pain leave
the emotional level
I can make you wish
i was never
born
i can watch my blood
pour from my
legs, arms, stomach
and face
you are forced
to face the fact
i no longer belong to you
At last i am alone
to die in peace
and silence...